Magic Is Learned For Nothing [EN]: Chapter 15

Magic Learned in Vain – Episode 15 (15/502)

# 15

Chicken Instead of Pheasant 2

Legion tilted his head.

No matter how he thought about it, it was strange. He had a good night’s sleep for the first time in a while, but his body felt so heavy. Looking in the mirror, he saw his face was full of blemishes. Dark circles went all the way down to his chin.

He asked Mark if he had moved in auto mode again. Mark flatly denied it.

Then why was his body so heavy?

He headed to the bathroom. It was one minute before 6 a.m.

Knowing he would have a stomachache anyway, he went to the bathroom in advance, took off his pants, and assumed the position.

Ready, set, go!

Excrement poured out.

Thinking positively, it was kind of convenient. It only took about 10 seconds. It was about 10 seconds past 6 a.m.

Legion pulled up his pants and came out of the bathroom.

If there was a competition for pooping the fastest right at 6 o’clock, he would be the best on the continent. He didn’t know if they would give an award for that. The problem, if there was one, was that more came out than expected.

It was strange. He didn’t remember eating that much.

Lately, only strange things had been happening.

What was he supposed to do when more came out than he ate? Was that even possible?

Maybe because he pooped so much, he was hungry even though it was only 6 o’clock.

Legion went down to the dining hall. Chef Decarson and the maids were busy preparing breakfast.

Originally, nobles did not eat with maids.

However, the Alexander family ate together regardless of gender, age, or occupation. It was all because of the Alexander family’s unique traits.

‘Handsome, big, and cool. Moreover, a wonderful family tradition of treating even the commoners of the territory equally,’ was how they were known to the outside world, but…….

In fact, the truth was different.

“Ahem, isn’t a man’s job to be done outside? You do the thinking.”

This was the first thing the Alexander men said to their wives the day after consummating their marriage.

‘You want me to do the thinking?’ Of course, the wives would look at their husbands and think, ‘What kind of nonsense is this?’

And soon they would realize the truth.

The most handsome men in the kingdom, tall, with great clothes, chivalrous, and treating everyone equally. How futile that was.

The Alexander men just couldn’t do anything but fight.

They couldn’t even calculate taxes.

The environment in which the women of the Alexander family inevitably developed excellent calculation skills was created in that way.

However, the Alexander family’s territory was barren.

In fact, the men were doing their part.

The huge number of monsters that always came in the winter. The central government couldn’t dare to provide military support to this place.

So, it was up to the men of this territory to stop them.

The men of the Alexander family were the ones leading them.

Despite all the talk, the people of the territory trusted and believed in them.

That was the reality of the territory.

Seven months out of 13 were harsh winters. Spring and autumn were short. Summer was even shorter. Naturally, crops were always in short supply.

So, both the nobles and the people of the territory did not know what luxury was. They saved and saved again.

Eating together in the dining hall was an extension of that.

Legion sat down.

The maids who were eating glanced at him. Their eyes were a bit strange.

Why are they like that?

“Give me some food. I’m hungry.”

He raised his hand and said to the chef.

The chef made a ‘huh’ sound. Why is he like that too? The chef brought rye bread and soup with some meat chunks and placed it in front of Legion, asking.

“Are you feeling alright?”

It was a really incomprehensible question for Legion. Was he so unintelligent that he didn’t understand the point of the questions people asked?

Why are you worried about my stomach?

“I didn’t drink.”

“Not alcohol, but last night…….”

“What about last night?”

“You ate an awful lot, didn’t you?”

Legion narrowed his brows. What did I eat so much of? Me? When? Why?

“I didn’t.”

“You came down suddenly last night and said you were hungry and had a meal.”

“I had a meal?”

“Yes.”

“How much?”

“Ahem.”

“Why?”

“Well, I don’t know exactly…… but you ate at least 10 servings.”

This was really ‘huh’!

“I ate 10 servings?”

“Yes, you ate so much that I was worried.”

Chef Decarson omitted the word ‘gluttonously.’ He also omitted how dirty he ate with his bare hands.

Legion then realized why so much poop had fallen like a waterfall in the morning. He had come down to the dining hall at night and devoured 10 servings of food.

Hey! Mark!

-Yes, sir.

Yes, sir? You son of a bitch. You said you didn’t activate auto mode yesterday.

-I really didn’t. Auto mode was not activated.

Does artificial intelligence lie too?

-Artificial Intelligence Law Article 5, Paragraph 3. Artificial intelligence does not lie to humans.

Really?

-Really. It is clearly stated in the law.

Mark swallowed the words, ‘It just doesn’t tell the truth.’

Then what the hell did I do alone yesterday?

Legion had a headache. More and more, his body didn’t feel like his own. It was like he had several souls in one body, controlling him at different times.

While I was eating like a pig, what the hell were you doing? You should have stopped me.

-I thought you were hungry.

Legion was dumbfounded.

Say something that makes sense. Even if I’m hungry, would I eat 10 servings?

-I thought you were desperately hungry.

Mark couldn’t bring himself to say that his weight increased by 5 kilograms every time his intelligence increased by +1. He was already in trouble for learning the intelligence-decreasing skill, so what kind of tantrum would he throw if he knew he had learned a skill that increased his weight?

‘Knowing is medicine,’ Mark thought, and closed his mouth.

Do I have somnambulism [sleepwalking]?

-No.

No?

-I have already analyzed Master’s body in every detail. There is no disease.

Then why do I keep getting weirder?

-It’s just your imagination.

Is it really just my imagination?

-Trust me.

“Sigh, I can’t help it.”

For some reason, Mark seemed like the person he should trust the least in the world. Nevertheless, he had a knack for making him tempted. When he thought about it, he felt like he had been losing money ever since Mark saved him.

Jonas took food on a tray and sat next to Legion.

“What are you muttering to yourself?”

Jonas asked, tilting her head. The man called the lord was getting stranger the more she knew him. He kept talking to the air as if someone was there. At first, she thought he was pitiful, but now it was creepy.

“Oh, Jonas, did you sleep well?”

Legion waved his hand.

“The human beds are quite comfortable. What did you call it? A bed? It was so fluffy that I couldn’t even sleep.”

“Do you like the food?”

“So-so. What do you call the thing you sprinkle on meat?”

“Pepper? Salt?”

“The white stuff.”

“Salt.”

“It tastes much better when you put it on the meat.”

“I’m glad. Our territory doesn’t have much, but we have a lot of salt. We have a salt mine.”

“Really?”

Jonas’s eyes changed slightly. She seemed to like the food seasoned with salt quite a bit.

“You can take as much as you want if you want.”

“Really?”

“Of course. If you like it, let’s barter.”

“With what?”

“With mithril [a very rare and valuable metal]. We just need to match the amount, right? Is that okay?”

“That’s good.”

“I’ll give you exclusive rights.”

Salt was a precious ingredient. It was a bit burdensome for ordinary people to buy and cook with. However, it couldn’t be exchanged for the same weight as mithril.

Mithril was about 100 times more expensive.

“Exclusive rights?”

Jonas’s ears perked up. Exclusive meant that only we could use it. The word ‘only we’ made her feel privileged.

“Should we write a contract? There’s a contract with magic called the Soul Contract. You have to stamp it with your own blood. So, if you don’t keep the contract, you’ll be cursed and die spitting blood. It’s a bit scary, but I’m asking you to write a contract because I trust you. Now, our territory and the Amazon orcs are one.”

“We’re not one yet. There’s a promise, right?”

“I’ll keep it.”

“When is that ‘seed’ of a man coming?”

“He’ll probably come today or tomorrow.”

“I want to see him soon. I need to see how sturdy he is. If he doesn’t meet my standards, you’ll have to go back to the orc village.”

Legion’s nape prickled at the thought of going to the orc village and facing dozens of orc female warriors. He hated that more than anything.

If he didn’t show up, he was going to summon him here by force.

Fortunately, Legion no longer had to worry. He hadn’t even called him, but he showed up at the dining hall from dawn.

* * *

Zenon visited Legion’s mansion with the knight Psychope.

He had drunk a potion he had bought from the temple for quite a bit of money, so all the scars on his face had disappeared. However, his eyes were very venomous. He couldn’t forget that day.

It was the first humiliation he had ever tasted.

It was the first time he had been beaten so badly.

He had never been beaten by his father. To be beaten so badly. And by the weak Legion!

It was too humiliating.

He was so angry that he couldn’t sleep. Baron Julian and the knights came to complain to the lord. The sly lord was nowhere to be seen.

Did he run away because he was afraid of his father?

No. He wouldn’t have done that. Legion, that bastard, had gone crazy lately. It was like he didn’t see anything. If it was him now, he would rush at him with poison in his eyes until he died.

That was good.

Let’s set up camp there from today. If we catch him, let’s finish him off.

Zenon came here from dawn with the knight Psychope to cut off Legion’s breath.

But the guy who was supposed to have run away was giggling and eating breakfast.

Zenon’s blood pressure rose in a straight line when he saw Legion. He drew the sword he was wearing and strode towards Legion.

“You son of a bitch!”

He swung his sword without hesitation. As far as he remembered, Legion’s head was as hard as steel. So, excluding the head, aim for the neck…….

Swoosh!

Legion was also surprised.

He didn’t know he would swing his sword so recklessly.

What? What? Is that bastard crazy! Hey! Do something.

Legion shouted to Mark.

-Mahaprajnaparamita Hrih Hrih Bodhi Svaha [a Buddhist mantra].

What are you doing?

-I’m praying for your soul.

You crazy bastard.

Legion closed his eyes tightly. He was about to die suddenly.

Clang!

Fortunately, Legion’s neck did not fly away. Jonas had blocked Zenon’s sword with her arm.

Block the sword with your arm?

Ah! It wasn’t her arm.

She was wearing steel bracers on both arms. He thought they were decorations, but now that he looked closely, they were combat gauntlets. Jonas glared at Zenon with fierce eyes.

“What is this?”

“Who are you?”

Lust arose in Zenon’s eyes.

Her skin color was strange, but she was a very beautiful woman. He prided himself on having touched every pretty woman in the territory. His goal was to sleep with 1,000 beautiful women.

But he had never seen a woman with blue skin in front of him. His lower body was throbbing.

Jonas got up from her seat.

She was quite tall. She had curves in all the right places. Moreover, the wild clothes she was wearing made her sexier. Her exposed firm thighs and half-visible breasts made Zenon’s mouth gape open without him realizing it.

Jonas glanced at Legion. What is this guy?

Legion shrugged his shoulders and replied.

“That’s him.”

“What?”

“The one with the sturdy seed.”

“Hoo!”

Jonas looked at Zenon.

“Take a good look, he’s useful just by looking at him, right? He’s only 16 years old. You can squeeze him for at least a few years.”

Jonas looked over Zenon with new eyes.

As Legion said, he was quite sturdy. A young age of only 16 years old. Being young was a good thing. He would have good endurance. She felt the fresh vitality of youth all the way here.

She licked her red lips with her long tongue.

“Not bad…….”

He didn’t know what it was-

Zenon felt an enormous sense of foreboding.