Magic Is Learned For Nothing [EN]: Chapter 17

Magic is Learned in Vain – Episode 17 (17/502)

# 17

From Dusk Till Dawn 2

Zenon stared blankly at Legion.

‘Right, he definitely agreed to meet Legion here, but what is this thing in front of him?’ he thought. It looks a bit like Legion, but…

No matter how he thought about it, it was a strange creature.

A pig in human form.

“What are you?”

He pointed at the pig with his finger.

Legion frowned. He knew it too. It was too terrible to have happened in just one day. He remembered how shocked he was when he looked in the mirror after waking up.

“Euaaaaaaack!”

The maids rushed in, startled by the scream that seemed to tear the mansion apart, only to scream themselves and run away.

“H, how did this happen!”

Before going to bed, there was definitely a slightly chubby but still handsome boy. But when he woke up, wasn’t there a pig standing in the mirror?

It was enough to believe he had been cursed by a witch.

But he soon realized that wasn’t the case.

Thanks to the ‘Goodbye Helicobacter’ skill, he was already aware when he went for it at exactly 6 AM.

The amount of poop was beyond imagination.

The sound of *poojik, poojik* went on non-stop for almost 5 minutes. He realized for the first time that such a large amount of poop could fit in his stomach. In terms of mass, it was enough to believe that half of his body came out.

Silcott was horrified to see Legion.

“Are you not feeling well? Your face is bigger than the full moon.”

“I usually get bloated when I’m tired. Nothing to worry about.”

He just made things up because he had nothing to say.

“It’s not just bloated. Your body has doubled in size overnight.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. But…”

When he asked if they were always this busy from dawn, Silcott replied.

“Doesn’t the Lord come down to the dining hall at 6:05 AM? Of course, we have to prepare the meal before that.”

“What time did you used to prepare it?”

“We used to prepare the meal around 8 AM. The Lord would come down around 9 AM.”

So, he was being a nuisance.

He felt like showing them what was inside him.

‘Do you know how it feels to have to wake up at exactly 6 AM every morning to poop? Even if your body hurts, even if you’re full, even if you’re dreaming of pooping, you have to wake up no matter what!’

‘So, I hope you don’t have any complaints about preparing meals a little earlier.’

‘I’m the one who’s miserable.’

Damn magic!

“But last night… did I come down to the dining hall again?”

“Yes. Don’t you remember?”

“I don’t remember well when I’m tired.”

“You should go to the temple and get treatment.”

“Was it that bad?”

Silcott sighed deeply and looked at Chef Decarson. The chef shook his head and said.

“Lord.”

“Yeah.”

“We’re going to run out of stored food starting tomorrow.”

“No way…”

“That’s exactly what’s happening. You ate almost all of the emergency rations by yourself.”

“Like a pig?”

“Ooguk ooguk.”

‘Damn it, why are you using the word *ooguk ooguk*. How embarrassing,’ he thought.

I’m screwed. I only raised my intelligence by 5. And raising that used up all the mithril [a rare and valuable metal].

The mansion’s food storage is also empty.

In vain, only my head got harder, and all I do is eat and poop more. This is really a nuisance, a huge nuisance.

Silcott held Legion’s hand tightly and said.

“Please go to the temple. Maybe the Lord is…”

Cursed? Well, it might look that way to others.

“Okay.”

Silcott’s expression brightened.

“I’ll go once tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? You should go today while you’re at it.”

“No, I have something important to do today.”

“I understand. Then you should definitely go tomorrow. If you don’t want to go alone, I can go with you…”

“No. Am I a child? I can go alone.”

“I understand.”

Silcott smiled brightly, relieved.

That was what happened this morning.

It’s inconvenient in many ways to have gained weight. First of all, the unpleasant gazes of people, and the heavy body.

He was out of breath after walking only 10 meters.

The entrance to the Dusselph Mountains, which used to take 2 hours, took more than 3 hours today. He rested three times on the way. He drank so much water that his stomach was sloshing, making it even harder to breathe.

“Blessings have fallen upon our tribe. If your seed had been received by our orc tribe… they would all have become pigs.”

Jonas muttered, walking next to Legion.

It was humiliating.

‘Ssibal! [Korean slang, similar to “damn it!”] I swear on my honor as a man that I will lose weight. Okay, let’s calculate. Intelligence increased by +5. To increase intelligence by +5, I have to dismantle twice as much mithril as steel.’

‘In other words, I gained 50 kilograms.’

‘My original weight wasn’t even 50 kilograms…’

‘I can fully understand why people are cursing me.’

‘A little over 150 centimeters tall and weighing nearly 100 kilograms. It might be faster to roll than to walk.’

Is there a skill to lose weight?

-There might be.

Right? There’s a skill to decrease intelligence, and there’s a skill to gain weight, so there must be a skill to lose weight.

-I’ve analyzed the correlation of skills.

And?

-Magic skills seem to be established mainly on the basis of equivalent exchange.

Deung, what?

-Equivalent exchange. In dictionary terms, it is the exchange of two goods with the same value. Since the creation of currency, goods and currency are usually exchanged, so the value and price of the goods match.

What does that mean?

-It means that if you gain something, you lose something. Master got a hard diamond head, so his intelligence decreased, and if he gained intelligence, he gained weight.

Ah. So, if I get a skill to lose weight, I lose something else?

-Probably.

Can I know what that is?

-I don’t know. But I can guess. If you get a skill to forcibly lose weight…

If I get it?

-What would get worse?

I don’t know.

-Excessive dieting causes hair loss.

Hair, hair loss?

‘Ssibal! Then it’s a problem even if I learn it! 150 cm tall and bald!’

‘Wow, I’m really screwed when it comes to marriage. I’m so sad just thinking about it that I can’t think of anything else. Blessings to all the bald people in the world.’

Hmm. That won’t work.

I guess if I become a master of magic, I have to invent a magic potion that can cure baldness.

Of course, I have to get paid. A lot.

-Wow! You have a knack for business. Even in the future, bald people are not popular with women. So, there are quite a few baldness cures. Of course, they don’t completely cure it. If you invent a magic that can cure baldness, you’ll make a fortune.

Right?

-I’ll do my best to help. Okay, let’s get back to the main point. Excessive dieting not only causes hair loss but also lowers bone density.

What’s that?

-Bones get weaker. Calcium, a nutrient essential for the body, is lost, causing that. There are no supplements to replenish it in this era. I advise you. Lose weight by exercising.

Damn it, you bastard! This is all your fault!

Ah, when am I going to lose 50 kilograms by exercising? I’m going to end up training to the level of a martial artist against my will.

Legion was in tears.

That’s how Legion and Jonas arrived at the Dusselph Mountains-

As expected, Zenon had brought five more people with him and was waiting for him.

“What are you?”

Zenon said with a snort.

“You’re really doing all sorts of things. Gaining so much weight in one day. I can’t believe it even when I see it.”

“I don’t care whether you believe it or not, but you brought quite a few people?”

“I have to prepare for when you don’t keep your promise. But… it looks like you’re going to keep it? Does that side like it too?”

Zenon asked, gesturing towards Jonas with his chin.

“How’s this?”

Legion asked Jonas.

Jonas slowly scanned the six men for a moment. Certainly, that tall and bulky guy looks good.

The other five are so-so.

“It seems good.”

“Not just good, it’s the best!”

Legion frowned, but it looked like a pig getting angry.

“Okay, let’s go with that.”

Jonas readily admitted.

Zenon, who was listening to their conversation, asked with a look of not understanding the situation.

“What are you talking about right now?”

“This woman’s name is Jonas. And she likes you.”

“Hoo! She likes me?”

Zenon licked his lips with his tongue.

“I’ll make that feeling subside soon.”

The eyes of the knight Cycop and the other four men who came with him also gleamed grotesquely.

Looking at the eyes of those men, Jonas smiled.

“I really like those eyes.”

‘Eh, you like those eyes?’

“I’ll let you enjoy it as much as you want soon.”

“What?”

Zenon’s expression distorted at Jonas’s nonchalant words. ‘Is there something I don’t know? Shouldn’t ordinary women be scared at this point?’

“Ah, don’t worry. You’ll find out soon.”

Legion nodded with a smile.

“They’ve already arrived.”

At that moment, tremendous fighting spirit fell upon their heads.

Koo-oong!

Their bodies felt heavy as if gravity magic had struck them all at once. Surprised, Cycop and the warriors knelt down and looked around.

“Wh, what is it?”

Dark shadows swirled around them.

It’s not just one. At least dozens of entities. The fighting spirit that each entity was emitting was by no means below Cycop’s.

Gradually, a huge and terrifying presence revealed itself from the darkness.

“Legion, you keep your promises better than I thought? I like it.”

Amadeus said, revealing a ferocious face.

“Ah, of course. It’s our first deal. The goods look good, right?”

Amadeus grinned, revealing his teeth. Legion didn’t say that he got the five men besides Zenon by luck.

“I thought one man with good seed wouldn’t be enough, so I ran around in all directions.”

-Wow! Your lies are increasing. You’re amazing.

You be quiet.

Jonas also had a satisfied expression. She had thought that it would be better to just eat him since he had gained weight in one day, but it seems he’s more resourceful than she thought.

‘When did he contact my mother?’

She looked at Legion again. She thought Legion was a ‘human’ with a very excellent brain.

“Six may not be enough, but well. It’ll be okay, right?”

“Ahem, it’s hard to say this, but it’s very good. His kidneys are good, and he seems quite strong. His thing is also sturdy. We have many herbs that are good for stamina. If we boil them well and feed them, they’ll be quite useful.”

“That’s a relief. Then, as promised.”

“Yes, of course, we have to get rid of the cursed spirit. But there’s no shaman from our tribe here. Shamans hardly ever leave the village. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to visit the village one more time.”

“Hmm, well, that’s.”

He was going to visit the orc tribe regularly anyway. A goose that lays golden eggs called mithril, or is it a goose that gains weight? Anyway, he wasn’t stupid enough to leave it alone.

“Listen to Jonas first. I’ll visit again the day after tomorrow.”

“I understand. I’ll do that. But you… what happened in the meantime?”

“Yes? No. Why?”

“I didn’t recognize you at first. You’ve gained too much weight. Can humans gain weight so quickly?”

I was wondering when this sound would come out.

“Ah, I’m not feeling well. It’ll come off soon. It’s just bloating.”

“I see. You better lose it soon. It makes me hungry just looking at you.”

‘Ah, ssiang! [Korean slang, stronger than “damn it!”] You have to say that!’

“I understand. I’ll try to lose weight as soon as possible.”

They parted ways like that. In the distance, Cycop’s scream was heard, ‘Please save me. I have a fiancée.’

‘Ah, that’s too bad. But I’m nice.’

‘I’ll go to your fiancée and tell her nicely. That you ran away with a woman uglier than her.’