Magic Is Learned For Nothing [EN]: Chapter 24

# 24

“Welcome! Is this your first time in the human world?”

Legion, having arrived in the village, wore a pleased expression.

The territory residents were horrified and ran away. The lord was nowhere to be seen. *Well, I understand. When would you ever see an ogre? I’m the one showing you ogres like this.*

Thump~ Thump~ Thump~.

For every five steps Legion took, Sepia took one. The sheer size of him couldn’t be truly felt unless seen with one’s own eyes.

Something enormous, gigantic, and overwhelmingly powerful pressed down on the shoulders of all who watched. Moreover, Sepia had a carriage on his left shoulder and the corpse of a minotaur on his right.

The minotaur’s corpse was too good to throw away.

Even Legion, who knew little of magic, knew that the minotaur’s corpse would sell for a huge price. To put it simply, it was like every part of a cow being useful, but it sold for much more. The minotaur’s blood contained the genes of a demon god, making it magically valuable for research.

Fortunately, Sepia solved Legion’s problem.

-Krrr, krrr (Brother, are you going to throw that *cow* away? That’s a waste).

“It’s a waste, but what can we do? We can’t carry it.”

-Krrr, krrr (I can carry it).

“Really?”

Legion’s eyes widened.

The carriage Sepia was carrying required at least four horses to pull it.

Yet he was carrying such a carriage alone.

And he was going to carry the minotaur’s corpse, which looked as heavy as the carriage? No matter how strong an ogre was, was that even possible?

-Krrr, krrr (I can do anything for you, brother).

*Ah, so touching. Our Sepia. I’ll treat you well.*

“Then, please do.”

And so, Sepia carried the minotaur’s corpse and walked for half a day to reach the territory. He never complained once about being tired, his legs hurting, or not wanting to walk.

Would it be stranger for an ogre to complain?

Anyway, they safely completed their short journey and entered the territory. As expected, the territory residents who discovered the ogre were shocked and ran away. Some old people couldn’t withstand Sepia’s murderous aura and actually fainted.

-Krrr, krrr (Brother, is this the human world)?

“Yes, this is where I live.”

-Krrr, krrr (Can I live here too)?

“Of course, that’s why I brought you with me.”

-Krrr, krrr (Yay, that’s great. To be born an ogre and live in the human world).

“Just listen to me. I’ll give you lots of tasty things.”

-Krrr, krrr (You’re the best, brother)!

“Of course, I’m the best. I’m the highest authority here in the territory.”

-Krrr, krrr (Wow, then since I’m your brother, am I the second highest here)?

“Well, that’s…”

*What is it? Why am I hesitating? If I say, ‘Yes, you’re the second highest here,’ I have a bad feeling that I won’t be able to handle the aftermath.*

-You should say yes to encourage the child’s courage. Look, look. He’s getting upset because you’re not answering.

At Mark’s words, Legion’s gaze turned to Sepia.

The vitality disappeared from that fierce face. *He’s getting upset quickly. I feel sorry for him because he looks so dejected after we’ve been through thick and thin together.*

*Sigh, I understand. I understand.*

“Then, since I’m the highest here, Sepia is the second highest here.”

*Ah, I messed up. I have an even worse feeling after saying it.*

-Krrr, krrr (Yay, that’s great).

Legion and Sepia arrived at the mansion.

As soon as they arrived at the mansion, all the servants and maids froze. Some maids screamed and ran into the mansion.

*Hey, hey, why are you all so surprised? Can’t you see I’m standing here with him?*

Silcott approached, trembling.

“Lord.”

“It feels like it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen you.”

Legion waved his hand at Silcott.

*It’s a shame. I wanted to show you my slimmer figure. My weight was the same when I left the mansion a few days ago and when I returned. No one will believe that I gained and lost 50 kilograms in the meantime.*

“Th-that, isn’t that a monster?”

Silcott said in a whisper.

Other servants and maids were hiding inside the mansion, peeking out and looking this way. Silcott, who was the oldest and trusted by the lord, took on the responsibility of speaking instead.

*I was about to say, ‘It’s a monster, alright,’ but I closed my mouth.*

Sepia was listening to Legion’s words. He was probably trying to confirm whether he would be introduced as his ‘brother’ or not.

*But I couldn’t say, ‘He’s the number two in the territory.’ I had to say something that would avoid the issue appropriately. Ah, now that my intelligence has increased by 5, my brain is really working.*

“He’s originally an ogre.”

“O-ogre.”

It was obvious that Silcott was genuinely surprised.

He looked like he wanted to sit down on the cold floor. His lower body was trembling. That’s how great the fear was in the word ‘ogre.’

*Well, I was no different from Silcott until I met an ogre myself. Even now, I think it was crazy to go into the mountains to meet an ogre.*

*I would never do it again.*

-When a mage inevitably has to learn the skills of another profession, they also have to learn the Elementalism PART 2.

Mark said in a subtle tone.

*Bullshit, I’m never doing it again. If you want to, you do it.*

I’m serious. When a mage inevitably has to learn the skills of another profession, I couldn’t know what kind of crazy things would be in Elementalism PART 2. If I opened the bookshelf carelessly, I felt like I would cross the River Jordan [a metaphor for death] to meet my ancestors without even lasting half a day.

“Don’t be so scared and listen to the end. He’s originally an ogre, but he seems to have left the group. In other words, he was abandoned. The young ogre had nowhere to go. He was shivering in the cold. He didn’t even know how to catch food. He was destined to die if he continued like that. Then.”

“Then?”

“Yes, right then, a circus ringmaster who was passing by discovered him. The circus ringmaster said to Sepia, ‘Will you follow me?’ Sepia didn’t know what he was saying and nodded. And he’s been working in the circus ever since.”

“Why is such an ogre here?”

“I…”

Legion made a circle with his finger at Silcott. *I bought him with money.*

“Ah.”

Only then did Silcott understand.

-You’re really good at lying. I guarantee you could become the emperor of the continent with just lies.

*Shut up, don’t speak ill of the dead.*

-I wish it would come true.

“But where did you get the money?”

Silcott knew that Legion was on the verge of bankruptcy. Julian, the vice-lord, was eagerly waiting for Legion to go bankrupt. It was a completely different matter for him to run the territory and for Legion to go bankrupt. He was likely to use that as an excuse to steal Legion’s position as lord.

Perhaps the title would remain the same.

A title that was only in name. A title without a territory was the same as being told to die. He would be no different from ordinary territory residents.

So where did such a Legion get the money to buy such an expensive-looking ogre? In fact, it was the first time he had ever heard of an ogre being in a circus. How could they tame an ogre, known as the strongest predator monster on land?

“Money?”

“Yes, Lord.”

“Money… Sepia. Put that carriage down.”

At Legion’s words, Sepia put the large carriage down on the floor. It wasn’t clear what was inside, but it seemed quite heavy from the ‘thump’ sound it made.

Legion overturned the cloth that was covering the items to prevent them from falling.

Then, everyone in the mansion exclaimed, ‘Wow!’ Those who knew, knew. They knew what was loaded in the back of the carriage.

The most expensive thing for servants and maids was gold. Anything more expensive than that was not something they could realistically comprehend. Still, they knew what that item was.

Mithril [a fictional metal known for its strength and lightness].

A precious metal much more expensive than gold.

It was piled up in the carriage.

“Th-that is…”

Silcott was so dumbfounded that he couldn’t speak properly. He had seen too many shocking scenes in a row.

“It’s mine.”

“Yes?”

“It’s all mine.”

Legion looked around at Silcott and the servants and smiled.

“Everyone, get ready to become rich.”

* * *

I was happy for a few days.

I slept comfortably, ate well, and relaxed. The territory was running well even without him. No, it was full of energy. Legion released only a small amount of the mithril he had brought in the carriage. With that money, he bought a considerable amount of farming equipment from other territories.

Alexander Territory lacked weapons and farming equipment.

It suffered from a chronic shortage of iron. Because there was a shortage of farming equipment, the harvest of crops was small. Because the harvest was small, there was not enough money to pay taxes.

But Julian, the vice-lord, had never lowered taxes.

For the territory residents, surviving the winter was like risking their lives every year. In addition, attacks by monsters looking for food were common in winter.

Such a vicious cycle was continuing.

Legion won the hearts of the territory residents simply by distributing a considerable amount of farming equipment for free. Although this year would be difficult, there was hope. If they could endure this year, they would be able to stockpile much more food next year.

-Was our lord not crazy? Rumor has it that he was crazy.

-Hey, you. Would a crazy person buy farming equipment for us like this? Our lord is a wise ruler. A wise ruler.

-But the lord doesn’t have any money. How did he buy so much farming equipment?

-Who knows? But isn’t it the historic Alexander family? Surely there’s something we don’t know.

The territory residents praised Legion with one voice.

And soon another skill window appeared on the retina.

-The ‘Qualities of a Wise Ruler’ passive skill has been activated.

Ugh! Another passive skill.

Now, whenever a passive skill is activated, fear comes first.

-The way to level up the ‘Qualities of a Wise Ruler’ passive skill is simple. Just get praised by many people. Then your luck will increase.

Luck?

-If your luck is high, you might find money on the street, a pretty woman might fall for you, someone might suddenly save your life, or someone who has nothing to do with you might catch the person who snatched your wallet.

Is that good?

-There’s more. If there’s a severe drought.

Severe?

-If you pray to God, it will rain at that time. People will praise you as the son of God.

What is that? That’s totally a scam.

-It’s not a scam. It’s luck. There are also disadvantages.

Of course. I knew there couldn’t be anything without them.

-If your luck drops, misfortune will befall you.

I feel like I’m already unlucky enough. Look at my weight! If I raise my intelligence by just 5 more, I’ll be over 150 kilograms. Does that make sense? So I wish you would stop giving me misfortune now.

-That’s your situation. Anyway, be careful not to let your luck drop. Misfortune is not far away. It’s by your side.

That’s how one more new passive skill was added.

I was really speechless. To be honest, I wanted to go back to when I didn’t know magic. Whenever I do something, my intelligence drops, whenever I do something, I gain weight. Now you’re telling me to have no luck?

Are you telling me to die? Seriously.

Grumble-

And this most cumbersome passive skill, ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ [a type of bacteria that can cause stomach problems].

Can’t you do something about this one?

My stomach has been rumbling every day from exactly 6 AM.

“Aaaaaah!”

I’m really going crazy. Suddenly annoyed, Legion screamed.

So I decided to level up the ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ passive skill.

All skills become more powerful and better as they level up. This skill will be the same.

Many wizards suffered from ‘hemorrhoids’ and ‘constipation.’

So the passive skill ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ was created. Maybe there’s also a ‘hemorrhoid’ treatment passive skill? I don’t have such a disease. Seriously, I’d be really annoyed if such a passive skill suddenly appeared.

Ah! Now is not the time to worry about that.

I need to solve the ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ passive skill that gives me stress every morning and evening.

Legion predicted that if the passive skill leveled up, he would gain the ability to control his bowel movements.

Anyway, he had a lot of money. At least enough to spend the rest of this year warmly. Unless the Amazon orc tribe betrayed him, mithril would be constantly supplied for the time being.

A considerable amount of alkaline metal in front of him.

Legion, who went to the bathroom and relieved himself, began to put the alkaline metal in his mouth.

Now, I will become the god of bowel movements!

-Deconstructing the highest quality alkaline metal. The speed of leveling up is 10 times faster than other alkaline metals. The ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ passive skill has been leveled up. You can now have a refreshing bowel movement in the morning, afternoon, and evening.

Wait, wait a minute, what is this? What is this? No. That’s not it.

Legion shouted, but he couldn’t stop the level up that had already started.

-The ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ passive skill has been leveled up. You can now have a refreshing bowel movement at dawn, morning, afternoon, and evening.

-The ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ passive skill has been leveled up. You can now have a refreshing bowel movement at dawn, morning, afternoon, evening, and late at night.

No! Please stop! Please? Please stop.

This is not it!