Magic Is Learned For Nothing [EN]: Chapter 289

Things That Drive Me Crazy 1

With an air of refined elegance, Lich Mamon knelt, his magnificent hair swaying slightly.

Tears streamed down his face like, well, a lot of tears.

A food delivery shuttle paused, startled by the grim atmosphere, silently freezing in place. The boss was truly terrifying.

To think that the fearsome Mamon was kneeling and crying like a child.

The shuttle felt like it might short-circuit from fear.

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Lich Mamon said, sobbing.

“Enough. Prepare for PT 8.”

“Huh?”

“Prepare number 8.”

“I have my seniority, you know. And there are kids around.”

“Kids?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you embarrassed because the kids are here?”

“Well, kind of.”

“And a guy who knows better touches his master’s things?”

“It’s just bone…”

“Shut up and do PT 8. Ten reps. How many reps?”

“Ten reps!”

“Start with twelve!”

“One, two, one! One, two, two! One, two, three!”

Lich Mamon’s bones creaked ominously. It sounded like his joints would dislocate and scatter across the training ground floor any second. Perhaps because they were the only ones present, the sound of bone grinding against bone echoed loudly.

The shuttle trembled even harder in fear.

“Why did you steal that?”

“I wanted to make a staff too.”

“You have a pretty good staff, don’t you?”

“Sniff, good? After you took it, Master, it’s completely useless. I told Bidet [likely a craftsman or artificer], and he said dragon bone is a good match for me, so…”

Well, he had a point.

Legion nodded.

There was nothing better for magical conduits, amplification, or enhancement. Moreover, it possessed self-regenerating properties, and its reaction to magic stones was top-notch.

It wasn’t as hard to find as the three divine metals, but it wasn’t exactly easy either.

Why else would nearly half of the items with the names ‘Legend’ or ‘Myth’ be made of dragon bone?

Above all, Legion felt a little better knowing that he was the one who had broken Mamon’s staff in the first place.

“What bone is this?”

“Rib bone.”

“Give it back.”

“Hmph.”

The shuttle was horrified. Lich Mamon, a being who could only be described as a great demon, was acting coy. He was trying to look cute to avoid punishment.

It almost launched itself forward and delivered a flying kick to the back of Lich Mamon’s head without thinking.

“Have you ever thought about the bone dragon’s perspective?”

“The bone dragon’s perspective?”

“Yeah.”

“I haven’t.”

“He died and came back to life, but when he came back, he was just bones. He can’t even reproduce. How sad is that?”

“R-really? I was okay with it…”

“Ahem! Anyway, in that situation, imagine having your bones stolen. How disgusting would that be?”

“T-that’s true.”

“So give it back. I’ll get you a good staff soon.”

“Yes.”

Lich Mamon lowered his head, looking defeated.

Honestly, the staff he truly desired was one that surpassed Legion’s. Legion’s staff wasn’t made of dragon bone, but it was still known as ‘the strongest ever.’

*I wish I had a staff like that.*

Lich Mamon was lost in thought.

‘The strongest ever.’ Wasn’t that every magician’s dream?

What if Bidet made a staff out of dragon bone? Wouldn’t it create a staff with at least similar stats? That’s why he swiped the dragon bone in the first place.

“I’ll definitely get you one. I promise.”

“I appreciate the thought.”

Lich Mamon nodded and returned to the subspace, looking dejected.

Legion felt a pang of sympathy for Mamon’s retreating figure. He resolved to get Lich Mamon a good staff soon.

He felt a sense of obligation.

“Anyway.”

Legion grabbed the ‘strongest staff ever’ and examined it closely. It was a truly impressive staff. He was deeply moved that he could finally use it.

First-

Legion placed his thumb on the staff’s handle. He hadn’t been able to use it before because of the fingerprint recognition system.

-Are you Alexander de Legion? Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

“Not using it right away, huh?”

Legion pressed 1 on the hologram that popped up from the thumb area.

-Please enter your kingdom ID number.

Beep beep beep beep beep.

Legion entered the number from his ID card.

-Please enter your address.

Beep beep beep beep beep.

He entered and confirmed his address.

-Please enter your gender.

He pressed male.

-Please write down three reasons why you want to use the strongest staff ever.

Legion’s blood pressure slowly began to rise. *Bidet, you son of a bitch, what did you do to this staff?*

Legion forced himself to endure the rising pressure and slowly wrote down three reasons.

First, I’m a magician, so I need a staff.

Second, I need a weapon as strong as the staff I used to use.

Third, I really wanted to have a transforming staff.

-Please enter your frequently used magic account.

*Why this?*

-Please enter your password.

*What the hell?*

-Incorrect password. Please start over from the beginning.

“…You son of a…”

Legion’s face turned redder and redder.

-Please check the password of your certified certificate. If you don’t have one, please start over from the beginning.

-Three errors. The use of the staff has been suspended. Please go to a nearby manufacturer to correct the error.

“That Bidet! You son of a bitch!”

Legion, who had been patient with the sole intention of using the staff, finally exploded in anger.

* * *

Originally, the bone dragon’s habitat was the roof of Legion’s mansion.

There was nowhere else to put him. If the bone dragon landed anywhere else, it would all collapse under his weight.

However, the newly renovated Legion mansion had a weight barrier applied to it so that it could withstand even a hundred tons of weight.

All thanks to Galileo, a brilliant architect.

But the bone dragon doesn’t live in Legion’s mansion anymore. All sorts of weirdos come and beg him for strange things.

Sephia asks for his tail to make *gomtang* [Korean oxtail soup].

*Since he’s already dead, he should sacrifice himself for the living. He’s a heartless ogre.*

Mamon begs for just one bone.

*If it weren’t for him, he would have died. So he took a part of his rib.* The others were the same.

“Mamon got it, why don’t I get it!”

“You have so many bones. Can’t you give me a little bit?”

“You’re stingy! I didn’t think you were like that, Bone Dragon.”

If the citizens of Poman had seen this scene, they would have collapsed in disbelief.

People were flocking to ask for the bones of the bone dragon that had terrorized the city.

Unfortunately, the bone dragon doesn’t remember the past. Like a newborn child, he couldn’t refuse anyone’s request. So he left Legion’s uncomfortable mansion and took a seat on the wall surrounding the property.

The wall is very wide.

Highly trained soldiers are stationed here.

He heard that the units rotate once a month. But it was too wide to manage the entire wall with only about 100 people.

So the bone dragon said to the soldiers.

-Krrr (I’ll take care of this area).

“Are you sure about that?”

Beef, who was in charge of guarding the wall, asked.

-Krrr (It’s comfortable here. With my senses, I can cover a radius of 20 kilometers. So you only need to guard the other side of the wall).

“Ah, thank you so much. There were many soldiers complaining of fatigue because there weren’t enough people. Thank you so much.”

-Krrr (We’re helping each other. But please don’t tell anyone else that I live here except for Master).

“Why is that? Is something wrong?”

-Krrr (They keep asking for bones, and it’s so annoying. Look at me. I’m just bones. What’s left of me if I give them all away? Don’t you think)?

“Ah, right, of course. I’ll keep it a secret.”

Beef nodded.

That’s how the bone dragon barely managed to carve out some time for himself.

Whether it was a habit from his previous life, the bone dragon didn’t need to sleep, but he often nodded off. The sight of the huge bone dragon nodding like a sick chicken on the wall evoked a bizarre and unsettling feeling.

Suddenly, the bone dragon opened his eyes.

Dark night.

The moon was hidden.

A night so dark that even the human eye couldn’t see an inch ahead.

Even if Beef and the regular soldiers were guarding the place, they wouldn’t have easily spotted an approaching enemy on such a dark and foggy night.

The bone dragon caught sight of something strange.

-Krrr.

The bone dragon stared intently at the approaching figures.

A messy, undisciplined bloodlust vibrated in the air. He could sense them trying to hide their bloodlust, but it was no use.

At least 2,000 fully armed soldiers!

They were approaching the wall like stealthy cats, preparing to launch a night raid.

*What should he do?*

*Who are those guys?*

Judging from the bloodlust they were exuding, they certainly didn’t have good intentions towards Master.

First, the rangers arrived at the wall. They searched the area thoroughly, confirming that there was nothing out of the ordinary.

One of them was startled to see the huge bone dragon standing on the wall and shouted.

“Oh, shit, you scared me.”

The bone dragon is so big that it’s not easy to recognize its true form when viewed up close.

“Is it a well-made statue? They must be rolling in money to make something so big and useless.”

“Okay. That’s not important right now. Did you check everything around?”

“Okay. Clear. There’s no one here.”

“Stupid guys. What’s the point of building such a huge wall? There should be soldiers guarding it.”

“I heard he used to be a baron. Would he have soldiers to protect it? He’d be guarding the northern region where monsters are coming down.”

“Then why did he build a wall here?”

“How should I know? The guys who built it would know. What’s certain is that it’s not very practical.”

“Well, that’s true. Anyway, contact the main force.”

The rangers went down the wall on ropes.

The bone dragon watched them without moving.

And in less than a few hours, 2,500 soldiers arrived near the wall. Even though so many soldiers had gathered, the noise they made wasn’t very loud.

Well-trained soldiers.

Whether they were well-trained or not, it didn’t seem to make much of a difference to the bone dragon.

The moon, which had been briefly covered by clouds, reappeared in the sky.

The moonlight shone on the bone dragon. The soldiers who saw the bone dragon’s hideous appearance were startled.

In particular, some of the commanders who had witnessed the bone dragon’s descent in Poman were about to faint. To think that they would see the bone dragon that had disappeared at that time again in this place! The soldiers felt as if their hearts were leaping out of their chests.

“It’s a statue.”

“A statue?”

“Yes, I’ve been watching it for a few hours, and it hasn’t moved at all.”

The rangers reassured the commanders.

Marquis Porse was also feeling uneasy.

He dismounted his horse for a moment and looked up at the bone dragon. It really looked exactly like the bone dragon he had seen back then.

The size, the ferocious eyes, and the sharp teeth.

It felt as if they had copied the bone dragon that was there and made it here.

*Of course, that wouldn’t happen.*

“Okay, let’s start now. We’ll take care of it quickly. By the end of tonight, nothing should be left in Count Legion’s territory.”

Marquis Porse gave his subordinates a cruel order.

As 2,500 soldiers were about to scale the wall…

Suddenly!

Magic power beyond imagination gathered in one place.

The eyes of all the soldiers who felt the powerful energy were focused in that direction. At the same time, their faces gradually turned as white as a sheet.

An enormous amount of energy was pouring out of the bone dragon’s mouth.

-Dragon Breath!

The most devastating and powerful magic imaginable exploded right in front of Marquis Porse’s army.