Magic Is Learned For Nothing [EN]: Chapter 31

Golden Dungeon 1

-Data analysis complete. The resurrected Lich’s name is Mamon. He was captured and sealed by your great-grandfather, Alexander de Peshinger. Despite being a low-level Lich, he was extremely vicious, devastating two territories. It is estimated that over 500 people were sacrificed at the time. He is a Lich with very high potential. If he hadn’t been captured and sealed by Alexander de Peshinger, there was a 30 percent chance that part of the kingdom would have suffered significant damage within 20 years.

So, you’re saying our great-grandfather was a hero who saved the kingdom.

-That happens quite often. The Alexander family has been very underrated.

Why is that?

-Because of the jealousy and envy of the nobles. Tall, handsome, women swooning over the men of the Alexander family. There are even old records that say this.

What?

-Do you know why the great Alexander family was driven to this remote place?

Of course, I don’t know.

-I know.

What is it?

This bastard, the way he talks is somehow very unpleasant.

-I won’t tell you.

Damn it, you shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. Tell me now while I’m being nice.

-You’ll be shocked if you know.

Even if I’m shocked, I’ll be the one shocked, so tell me. Quickly.

-Prepare yourself before you listen. One of your ancestors was very handsome. Top of the top. In the future, it would be like combining Jang Dong-gun and Jo In-sung.

Who are Jang Dong-gun and Jo In-sung? Why do they have such weird names?

-Those names are used when talking about unrealistically handsome people. Anyway, one of your ancestors was that handsome. Moreover, a 7-star Sword Master. Totally awesome. Women drooled all over him. Hundreds of them gathered in front of your ancestor’s house every day, just to see his face once.

There was someone like that? I didn’t know.

-There was. There’s a reason why the other ancestors can’t say anything. Your ancestor knew very well that he was handsome. There’s a saying, ‘Heroes are fond of women.’ It means that great men are womanizers. Your ancestor was like that. But he crossed a line he shouldn’t have crossed. He messed with royalty.

Su, surely, royalty wouldn’t be… a princess?

-It would have been so much better if it were.

Then who?

-The Queen.

…….

Legion was speechless. Wasn’t that a sin that could wipe out three generations? It’s truly astonishing. It’s amazing that the family lineage is still maintained.

-If your ancestor hadn’t been a Sword Master, the family would have been ruined. If his grandfather hadn’t been a Grand Master, it would have been over. Now do you understand why the Alexander family, with so many talented people, lives in the backwoods?

Yeah, I understand. It’s a behind-the-scenes story that you can’t listen to without tears.

But is that important right now?

-Then what’s important?

What about the Undead that are approaching me? It looks like there are over 100 of them. Isn’t that what’s important right now? Can I defeat them?

-Of course, it’s impossible.

It’s impossible, so why are you chatting about this?

-Are you an idiot? What’s piled up here? Spend as much as you want.

Ah, damn it! More spending again? What if another weird skill appears!

-Are you afraid to make soy sauce because you’re afraid of maggots? [This is a Korean proverb meaning don’t be afraid to take risks.]

I’m flustered at times like this. What the hell is soy sauce again?

-It’s one of the sauces, no… Ah, damn it! Just spend some money. Opportunities to spend other people’s money don’t come often. It’s a heaven-sent opportunity.

Yeah, I think so too.

Legion grabbed a handful of gold coins, so many that they were kicking around, and stuffed them into his mouth.

-Mana is increasing. It is being converted into magic power. Experience has increased. Overall combat power is now 54.

-Eat up, eat up. There won’t be time to spend money once the attack starts.

Okay, okay. Don’t rush me.

Legion stuffed whatever he could grab into his mouth.

-Dismantling 20 grams of gold. Dismantling 35 grams of gold. Mana is increasing. The dantian [energy center in the body] is being upgraded. Overall combat power is now 59.

Oh! It’s rising very quickly.

-Congratulations, congratulations. Eat more.

Legion was also excited. He ate even more diligently.

-Dismantling 100 grams of gold. Dismantling 500 grams of gold. Mana is increasing. The dantian has been upgraded. You can now use magic up to the mid-3rd circle. Overall combat power is now 67.

Ooh! Look at this. I’m getting more and more confident. In this state, I feel like I could blow away dozens of fireballs at once.

* * *

The Lich Mamon couldn’t understand.

What is that human doing right now? Is he even human? Why is a human eating metal?

He had never seen a human eating metal before.

No, is there even a race that eats metal? Is he so scared that he’s gone crazy?

“Th, those are my precious jewels!”

The amount of precious metals that guy has eaten so far is over 30 kilograms. 30 kilograms. All that precious metal went into his stomach?

Mamon, enraged to the point of madness, gave a cruel order to the Undead.

“Tear open that human’s stomach. Tear it open and take out all my gold!”

* * *

-A claw with poison on it is coming from the left. Duck down to avoid it. Three more claws are coming in 0.2 seconds. You need to move your waist left and right to avoid the claws by a difference of 0.1 seconds.

Legion barely dodged the claws swung by the Undead.

You crazy bastard. Try moving in units of 0.1 seconds. Do you think that’s possible?

-Do it if you want to live, don’t do it if you want to die.

It’s impossible.

Mark instructed him to dodge, block, and stab in 0.3-second intervals. It’s really frustrating. It’s an impossible action, so Legion just charged headfirst.

It’s either death or fainting anyway.

Clang!

Ooh! It works. My head is really hard. They’re even deflecting the poison.

Rather, the Undead were surprised and looked at their claws covered in poison. Their claws broke and shattered every time they hit Legion’s head.

-Kuaaaa!

The enraged Undead swung their claws indiscriminately.

Legion continued to retreat. He blocked with his head several times, but even with Iron Head, the rest of his body was just a normal human.

If he gets stabbed by their claws, he’ll be infected for sure.

Cold sweat poured down Legion’s spine. Death if touched. Damn it!

His concentration was higher than ever.

“Heh heh heh, let’s see how long you can last. Descendant of the fake Alexander!”

The Lich’s annoying voice didn’t reach Legion’s ears. He would be caught if he lost focus even a little.

Damn it, this is really dangerous. What was I thinking? Even Sephiah couldn’t catch him, but I came here. Are we there yet?

-Just hold on a little longer.

How many times have you said ‘a little longer’ already?

-It’s only been three times. You were born a man with balls, so stop whining. I’m doing my best too.

Ugh! I’m going to die like this.

-I have no intention of going to the afterlife with you. Just hold on a little longer.

As soon as Mark arrived here, he was looking for the Lich’s phylactery [an object containing a portion of the Lich’s soul]. He scanned the entire dungeon several times, but the phylactery was nowhere to be seen.

Hey! Isn’t it here?

-It must be here. Liches, by nature, don’t keep their phylactery far away.

The Lich Mamon was leisurely watching Legion.

He seemed to want to see him struggle and die like a bug.

Thanks to that, Legion was still alive.

The Lich, Mamon, with a combat power of over 2,970.

When I asked what my chances of winning were, Mark assured me that it was the same as going to Mars from Earth without a spacesuit.

Earth? Mars? Spacesuit?

What the hell are you talking about?

But I can understand what it means in a sense. It means it’s absolutely impossible, right?

-That’s right.

Then why did you come all the way here!

-Stop asking. I’m busy too.

Take advantage of the Lich Mamon’s carelessness to find and break his phylactery.

Then the game ends easily.

Mark used the word ‘easily.’ Since when has ‘easily’ been a difficulty level of ‘the probability of going to Mars from Earth without a spacesuit,’ you damn Mark!

“Ugh! Damn it! This is bad.”

Legion hurriedly retreated and looked at the back of his hand. He was slightly cut by the Undead’s claws. Blood was welling up.

The color of the blood quickly turned black.

He was infected.

“I’m doomed. I’m doomed. I’m going to become Undead. I’m going to become a zombie and raid the village. I’ll be walking around with my arms raised, making ‘Ugh, ugh’ noises. Why did I have to get infected when I was fat? I’m going to be called a pig zombie. I’m doomed.”

-Is that what’s important right now? If there’s any blue metal, dismantle it immediately.

“Blue metal?”

-It has an excellent effect in detoxifying infections and poisons.

“Can it detoxify the poison too?”

-Is this the time to ask such things? Shut up and do as I say. Ugh! You have 3 minutes and 10 seconds left before you become Undead. If you don’t detoxify within that time, you’ll end up raiding the territory residents while making ‘Ugh, ugh’ noises, just like you said. Damn it, then what happens to me?

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

Legion turned his body completely towards the Undead.

He didn’t care about being embarrassed or anything anymore. To live, he had to dismantle a metal that could get rid of the poison. But he didn’t know which metal among these many precious metals had detoxification abilities.

He could only hope that one of the metals he grabbed would work.

Legion ran through the dungeon, putting precious metals into his mouth as he grabbed them.

-20 grams of gold has been dismantled. Mana increases. Overall combat power has increased to 69.

Not this!

-15 grams of ruby has been dismantled. Resistance to fire attribute has been created. Overall combat power has increased to 71.

Not this either!

-20 grams of aqua has been dismantled. Resistance to cold has been created. Overall combat power has increased to 72.

Not this either!

Why are there so many jewels that are hard to even see normally? They never come out when I want them to, but they’re coming out in droves when my life is on the line. Damn it.

-Hurry! You have 2 minutes and 7 seconds left before you become Undead.

I’m going crazy.

Legion’s hands and feet were trembling.

His heart was pounding so much that he couldn’t focus at all. He would rather die than become Undead.

Please, let something work!

-Dismantling high-grade steel. Iron Head skill has leveled up. Intelligence has decreased by -1.

You son of a bitch! Why is my intelligence dropping now?

-Kuaooo!

The Undead had already surrounded Legion.

He was completely surrounded. It was no longer possible to escape. If this happens, is it even a problem even if I detoxify the poison?

At that moment, letters appeared on his retina.

-Dismantling 20 grams of emerald. Any poison can be neutralized. Time remaining until complete neutralization is 1 hour and 20 minutes. Dismantle more emeralds if you want faster neutralization.

It, it worked. Right, what was emerald again? Was it this?

Legion grabbed a handful of jewels near his feet and put them in his mouth.

-Dismantling high-grade steel. Iron Head skill has leveled up. Intelligence has decreased by -1.

Ah, damn it! More high-grade steel! Stop dropping my intelligence! Let me use my head a little!

-Congratulations. Iron Head skill has reached MAX. Your head now boasts the best hardness. Intelligence has decreased by -3.

Ugh! What am I supposed to do with a hard head! And what’s this! It dropped by 3 this time?

-Iron Head skill evolves to the next stage.

What? There’s more?

-Iron Eyes passive skill has been formed. Magic power can now be emitted through the eyes.

What is this again?

-The only attack magic you can use is 1st circle attack magic Fireball. Entering test mode now. Bite down hard.