I sat at my desk all morning, blankly tapping my smartphone.
Yun-hoo would be unavailable for the next three days.
There had been times before when I hadn’t seen him, and there were definitely days when we hadn’t seen each other for two or three days.
But this time, I couldn’t easily go see him even if I wanted to, so I felt a hollowness in my heart.
What did I even do when I was alone before? I didn’t really have any enjoyable memories.
Maybe I talked with my family, or studied. Sometimes, I would meet up with friends.
That was probably it.
Even when I met up with friends, I didn’t spend a long time outside.
Perhaps because I was so focused on studying, most of my friends were the same. So even when we met, we mainly talked about school or studying, and that was still the case.
Recently, romance stories sometimes came up when I talked with friends, but I didn’t really want to brag about Yun-hoo.
I wanted to keep Yun-hoo’s good qualities to myself.
But because of that, now that Yun-hoo wasn’t by my side and I was left alone, I didn’t know how to fill this emptiness.
—
“Lee Hee-na! What are you doing?”
“…Studying.”
“Where’s your boyfriend? Oh, did he say he was going on a trip today?”
“Yeah.”
I greeted my brother, who had just been discharged from the military and returned home, but I didn’t have the energy to pay attention to him.
Aside from the fact that his relationships with women were a bit messy, we definitely had a good relationship, and he was an older brother I liked.
But surprisingly, I wasn’t interested.
I just had a pen on my textbook, but my eyes were only on my phone.
“You’re always making a fuss about Yun-hoo, Yun-hoo on KakaoTalk [a popular Korean messaging app] or on the phone, so that’s why you’re quiet?”
“Get out.”
“Hey, give him a break. I heard from Dad that you’re very…”
“Did I tell you to get out?”
“…Study hard…”
I glared at my brother, who seemed to be subtly getting on my nerves, while lowering my voice.
But that was only for a moment.
-Vrrrr
I quickly picked up the phone that was vibrating and checked KakaoTalk.
[Yun-hoo♡: Still an hour left… I want to get off…]
Because of the anxiety that still lingered, I asked Yun-hoo to text me every 30 minutes.
That alone would be a hassle, but thankfully, Yun-hoo was sending me messages even more frequently than that.
Relieved by his text, I gave him advice, worried that he, who was prone to motion sickness, might be suffering.
And I tried to ignore the rising anxiety and filmed a video to send to him. Worry was worry, but it was also to make sure he didn’t forget me even for a moment.
An hour later, he sent me a photo and a video.
A video with the same content as what I had sent.
The moment I saw it, I let out a shriek.
“So cute!!”
The current Yun-hoo, who was a little different from when he was a college student, sometimes didn’t do the things he used to do, and sometimes I was a little disappointed that he didn’t remember what I remembered.
But when I saw those fresh sides of him that he showed because he was still a high school student like this, it felt like I was opening a new treasure chest every day.
I immediately went to my mom and brother and showed off Yun-hoo’s cute video, and then I lay down on the bed and thought.
Little by little, as I got closer to him, as he showed me new sides of him that were the same yet different from the old him, as I felt that my love, which I thought had reached its limit, could still grow, I wished.
How nice would it be if I could just put Yun-hoo in my pocket and carry him around.
—
All day long, I hesitated every time I sent a text, wondering if he would be annoyed, but I couldn’t stop myself from talking to him.
I kept telling myself to stop, but my heart, my fingers, were out of my control.
I knew he was spending time with his friends, so his responses might be slow, but I kept wanting more from him, who answered all my messages.
[Yun-hoo♡: Woof woof!]
[Hee-na: Are you a puppy? Next time we go to the amusement park, you have to wear puppy ears, okay?]
[Yun-hoo♡: Then you wear cat ears, deal?]
And when we had conversations like that, I imagined us walking around the amusement park wearing animal ears.
I missed him so much.
Yun-hoo wearing puppy ears, and the current Yun-hoo.
How long would it take to get to Yangyang [a coastal city in South Korea]? I stopped thinking about how my brother definitely had a driver’s license, and this time, I filmed a video and sent it to him again.
[Hee-na: (Video) Meow~]
It was a little embarrassing, but I sent the video, believing that Yun-hoo, who liked cute things, would definitely be happy. I was satisfied with Yun-hoo’s very happy reaction, but soon I sighed at the cut-off KakaoTalk.
It felt like time had stopped.
I couldn’t believe that I had to wait two more days.
That’s how the first day passed.
Yun-hoo’s second day of travel.
From morning, I made a video call as a wake-up call and sent KakaoTalk messages all day long. Other than that, I couldn’t focus on anything at home.
Even though I saw him so often, even though he would be back tomorrow, how could I miss him so much?
Except when I was washing up and eating, I was lying on my desk, looking only at my phone again today.
After lunch, even past dinner, until the next day.
—
The day Yun-hoo came back.
Although I told him to rest at home today because he would be tired, the fact that we were close enough to see each other right away if we wanted to reassured me.
My heart, whether it was the same as yesterday’s, was pounding violently even though I couldn’t see Yun-hoo.
His consideration in sending me KakaoTalk messages every short period of time after getting in the car made my heart feel even warmer.
Then, what clothes should I wear to meet Yun-hoo tomorrow?
Wouldn’t my heart explode the moment I saw him?
Around lunchtime, I was smiling to myself, thinking such silly thoughts.
Listening to the sound of rain, I was concentrating on studying a little today.
—I’m in front of your apartment right now.
Suddenly, I got a call from Yun-hoo.
His unexpected visit.
I was embarrassed, surprised, and happy all at the same time.
Suppressing the feeling that I was about to cry, I put on a cardigan and ran outside with an umbrella.
“Huh? Hey! Where are you going!”
My brother followed me out, worried about my busy movements, but it wasn’t the time to worry about such trivial things.
When I ran to the front of the apartment, I saw Yun-hoo waiting for me under the awning of the building across the street.
I couldn’t control the rising corners of my mouth, and I ran to him and hugged him, recharging the Yun-hoo component that had been lacking for the past two days.
Yeah, that’s right. I didn’t need anything else.
If only Yun-hoo was by my side, I would be so happy.
Besides, my brother had followed me out, so I thought it would be a good time to introduce him now, so I opened my mouth to him.
“You know, Yun-hoo. That oㅃ… [short for older brother in Korean]”
Yun-hoo kissed me, so I couldn’t continue speaking.
Yun-hoo, he must have wanted to see me too. He came all the way here because he couldn’t control his feelings.
And he was kissing me so desperately.
“I missed you so much, so I came without saying anything, is that okay?”
Of course, of course it’s okay.
Come to me anytime, any number of times.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day, it’s a big problem.”
If you come to me again and again and whisper such sweet words, I really don’t need anything else in the world.
I love you.
—
The place wasn’t good for talking in the rain, so I took them both to the cafe that Yun-hoo and I often went to.
While feeding Yun-hoo the drinks and cake that my brother bought, I was secretly hiding my pounding heart.
‘Hyung [older brother] Heesung? To be honest, at first I thought you looked like someone who would play around, so I was scared, but when I talked to you, we got along well. Our gaming tastes are similar too.’
‘You cheeky bastard, how dare you talk to your hyung like that? Especially while using the laptop I bought you?’
‘Ah, you told me to do my homework with this when I visited Heena in the hospital. Wait, it’ll be over in 10 minutes. I’ll play with you when I’m done.’
I wanted them to get along well like that time. Of course, the situation in which we met for the first time was very different, but I felt that the two of them could still get along.
Besides, I don’t know what my parents told him, but he already seemed to have good feelings about Yun-hoo.
If it was my brother that I knew, he would have already left this place if he didn’t like him.
I watched the two of them, who were awkward but continuing to say a word or two, and then excused myself to make a phone call.
Of course, it was true that my mom called, but it was to give them more time to talk alone.
With that in mind, after about 20 minutes, I came back.
As I expected, as I remembered, the two of them were laughing and talking.
I was pleased with that, and I suppressed the silly smile that came out of my happy feelings and slowly returned to my seat.
“Sorry~ Did it take a little long? The call got long… Yun-hoo?”
But, even though I came close, even though your lovely girlfriend came back, he didn’t even look at me for a moment.
A very small, absurd anxiety began to sprout.
Whether I came and sat next to him or not, he was still focused on their conversation, which was definitely what I had wanted.
“Do you want to come to my house and try it out later? The first thing this hyung did as soon as he was discharged was to fully set up his computer.”
“Hyungnim [a more respectful term for older brother]!!”
I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I interrupted.
“…Yun-hoo?”
“Ah, you’re here?”
But after answering briefly, he didn’t look at me again and only looked at my brother.
What?
Why, why don’t you look at me? Why are you only looking at my brother?
“But I’m supposed to study with Heena on the remaining days of vacation…”
Yeah! You don’t have time to play with my brother! You’re going to be with me!
“Come on a day when you’re not. You don’t have to come just to see her, do you? I’ll give you my phone number, so contact me in advance if you’re coming.”
“Wow, really? Thank you!”
My head was heating up and I felt dizzy.
So, now you’re calling my boyfriend, Yun-hoo, to hang out without me?
“Oppa [older brother], go home now! I’m going on a date with Yun-hoo!”
It was funny to see myself burning with jealousy toward my own brother like this, but I couldn’t think rationally.
He’s so engrossed in talking to my brother that he’s not even looking at me.
He’s not whispering sweet nothings to me.
“Hurry!! Yun-hoo! Who’s more important, me or Oppa?!”
“Of course, you are.”
“Then who’s more important, me or the game?!”
“…………You.”
Why the delay in answering?
Normally, even if he loves games, he would have said it was me without a moment’s hesitation.
Is it because he was talking to my brother?
Is it all because of my brother?
“Oppa, go away quickly!! Get out!”
I immediately sent my brother away, feeling ashamed of being jealous of my own family, and clung to Yun-hoo, acting like a spoiled child.
I wanted to lead the relationship with Yun-hoo in a mature way.
But like this, I was no different from a complete child.
Yun-hoo, who was comforting me and kissing me, whispering sweet words, was lovely and precious.
But I was so ashamed of myself.
—
I erased yesterday’s disgrace from my mind, and from today, I started studying with Yun-hoo again.
Seeing him become more motivated to study as our goal of attending the same university became clear, I couldn’t teach him carelessly.
I hope we go to the same university.
If not, Yun-hoo might just…
I pushed the dark desire into a corner of my heart and studied with Yun-hoo, who was more focused than ever, for several hours.
Looking at Yun-hoo, I could have studied longer, but I ended it here because studying for too long too quickly could lead to mental exhaustion in a few days.
Now that studying is over, I was about to act spoiled again like yesterday and hug him when Yun-hoo suggested a plan for later.
“Do you want to go to a karaoke [Noraebang, a singing room] ?”
I was surprised by that. I wasn’t surprised by the place itself, but because this was the first time Yun-hoo had clearly asked me to go somewhere.
I always specified the places I wanted to go together first, or we mostly hung out in places that caught our eye while walking around.
“Yeah. We’ve never been there together, and I want to hear you sing. How about it? We can be alone there, too.”
To be honest, I’m not confident in my singing, so I was a little reluctant to go to karaoke.
But Yun-hoo asked me to go on a date, and the fact that it was a place just for the two of us was enough to excite me.
So I quickly changed my clothes and left the house.
The karaoke place wasn’t too far away, so I walked leisurely with my arm around his.
“From now on, I’ll tell you about all the places I want to go. You’ll go with me anywhere, right?”
He gently stroked my cheek along the way, saying those words.
Perhaps, just as I felt a greater longing for him during his absence these past few days, Yun-hoo also felt similar emotions.
I really hoped that was the case as I followed him into the karaoke.
My heart fluttered in the slightly dark and enclosed space.
I scooped up a few spoonfuls of the free ice cream, put it on the table, and then…
I approached him, who was holding the remote control.
And naturally climbed onto his lap.
“Shouldn’t we… sing first?”
Of course, I know that Yun-hoo really came here with that intention.
But in this space just for the two of us, it was too wasteful to just sing.
I couldn’t resist.
“I thought you came here to do this.”
Saying that, I covered Yun-hoo’s lips.
I’m sorry, Yun-hoo.
This is much more important to me.
I have to make up for the two days we couldn’t see each other tenfold.
As I pushed my tongue in a bit forcefully, he accepted it as if he couldn’t help it.
His lips, his saliva, his scent.
Feeling and savoring every single thing.
I parted my lips.
“Hoo… Heena. I really came here to sing…”
I know. But you know it’s too much to come all the way here and not kiss me first, right?
Hiding those thoughts, I grabbed the microphone and sang as he wanted.
But.
“You, you’re not laughing, are you… Pfft!! Kekekeke─”
Before I could even sing a few bars, I noticed Yun-hoo desperately trying to hold back his laughter.
I knew I couldn’t sing well, but it was so embarrassing that I wanted to hide in a hole when he laughed like that.
Still, Yun-hoo, who sings well, is so cool.
Especially when he sings love songs to me, I feel like I’m going to faint.
So I vowed to sing to him next time.
After practicing a lot.
—
Today, I’m meeting Yun-hoo again.
A day to date before studying.
Although yesterday ended a bit ambiguously because I expressed my embarrassment with grumbling at the end, I wanted to spend the whole day being adored by Yun-hoo today.
So as soon as I met Yun-hoo, I kissed him and asked where we were going.
“Lee Heena!”
“Let’s go. Just follow me today.”
Yun-hoo, who always has a warm smile, shows a strangely stern face and an overbearing attitude. An attitude I’ve never seen him have, not even in college, not even now.
It was just like my brother.
As soon as that thought crossed my mind, my excited heart cooled down.
“Han Yun-hoo.”
“Who taught you this kind of thing?”
There’s no way Yun-hoo would have thought of something this ridiculous on his own, and there’s no way there would be such silly advice on the internet.
Yun-hoo’s family, of course, and his friends would never tell him to do such a thing, and if a peer had told him this, Yun-hoo would probably have ignored it.
Even in college, he used to laugh and say that his friends, who were single, were giving him useless advice.
Of course, he wouldn’t be doing this out of boredom, and I knew that he was doing it to give our date something special.
I knew it, but it was not the direction I really wanted.
It couldn’t be, but what if Yun-hoo started treating his girlfriend like my brother?
What if he learned to change girlfriends almost every day like my brother?
I could really go crazy.
So I carefully reasoned with him and dug up the culprit.
“It’s hard for you to tell me…”
Only after showing me that side of him did the culprit’s name come out of Yun-hoo’s mouth.
Lee Hee-sung.
Yeah, it must be my brother.
I didn’t like him becoming friends with Yun-hoo more than necessary, but he’s teaching my Yun-hoo such useless things?
Swallowing my anger, I followed Yun-hoo with a smile today.
Yun-hoo didn’t do anything wrong.
It’s all my brother’s fault.
—
The place he took me to today was a room cafe a little far from home.
He said it has a pretty interior and delicious croffles [a croissant-waffle hybrid dessert].
Honestly, I didn’t care about that.
The important thing is not what this place is like, but that Yun-hoo found this place for me.
My brother’s matter, I really didn’t like it, but anyway, Yun-hoo worked hard for our date.
“Thank you, Yun-hoo.”
So I honestly conveyed my gratitude.
His consideration for me made me happy no matter what.
As long as he doesn’t act like my brother.
“Well, what can I do to make you a little happier?”
If he even adds such lovely words that mess up my heart like this, I can’t help but feel my body heating up.
But you don’t have to rush, Yun-hoo.
You make me happy just by being there.
Just stay by my side.
If you want to do something more…
“And, you actually already know, right?”
“What’s your favorite thing I do.”
Yeah. Your kisses are enough for me.
But I don’t want you to take your lips off me quickly. I want you to embrace me longer, more deeply.
“And… you know what my favorite words are, right?”
The words I always say to you, the words you say to me.
“I love you, Heena.”
With his overflowing loveliness, I pulled his head into my arms.
Then, his rough breathing felt against my chest, my body becoming as hot as if it were burning in flames.
“I saw it on the way here, but there’s no one in the room next to us.”
Urging me, unknowingly, I was seducing and coaxing him.
After being like that for a while…
Yun-hoo, who released my arms and looked into my eyes.
“You know what? The croffles here are really delicious. I’ll go buy them.”
He ran away with the same words.
I was a little embarrassed, but I still respect his feelings. His flushed face soothed my disappointment.
Still, the atmosphere was really good.
Should I try to show him more boldly here and there?
Looking at his face as he came back with croffles and drinks, I was thinking about the next opportunity in my mind.
Because now there’s really only one step left.
Because I could see that Yun-hoo’s love for me had grown a lot.
Come to think of it, he said he liked it when I imitated a cat.
Would Yun-hoo like cosplay?
—
“Oppa, come here.”
“What, why? Why are you being so scary.”
“You taught Yun-hoo useless things, didn’t you?”
“What? That guy said that? Hey! He asked me for advice first─”
“So, you’re saying you didn’t teach him?”
“…That’s right.”
“Come here. Let’s talk.”
“Ha… Han Yun-hoo, you traitor…”