My On*Hole Academy [EN]: Chapter 1

Chapter 0 – It Wasn’t Me

Have you heard of that erotic game that became famous for being so unarousing?

「My Onahole Academy」

Shortened to 「OnaAka」

It was highly anticipated by the perverted gentlemen’s circle, a respected group in the industry, due to its elaborate artwork and extensive storyline. However, upon release, it became the subject of ridicule when a strange meme, 「No-arousal God」, began circulating.

The art? Undeniably well-drawn. The story? Not bad at all. But when you actually get to *that* scene, it just doesn’t evoke any arousal. Sometimes, there are works for which the reason is difficult to pinpoint.

Is it a matter of personal taste? Or perhaps a cultural difference?

In any case, 「OnaAka」 was clearly a commercially successful game. If it hadn’t been popular, the ridicule meme wouldn’t have taken off.

Since it also had a promotional effect, it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing from the creator’s perspective… or so I thought.

“Damn it!! Hey! Read that nasty comment you wrote aloud!”

“……”

She looked genuinely aggrieved.

Standing before me was a petite, blonde, beautiful girl, practically fuming, and the infamous comment that spawned the 「No-arousal God」 meme was floating before my eyes.

How fascinating. The letters were actually floating.

“Hurry up and read it! You didn’t think you’d be summoned in front of the person involved, did you? Haha, I’m the goddess who created this game! It’s too late to regret it now!”

“It’s almost a talent for an eroge [erotic game] to be this unarousing.”

“Ugh!?”

The goddess, who had ordered me to read the malicious comment, nearly buckled at the knees before regaining her composure.

I calmly continued reading the comment.

“An indescribable aura of non-arousal permeates this entire work like a field. If you’re considering abstaining from masturbation, I highly recommend it.”

“Ughhh!! Stop…. Please stop……”

“……You told me to read it.”

Where am I? If the blonde beauty in front of me hadn’t introduced herself as a goddess, I could have easily mistaken this for a normal studio apartment.

Or perhaps a woman in need of psychiatric help had broken in.

The problem is, this room is completely unfamiliar to me.

It’s a space I don’t recognize at all.

“Even the little guilt I felt has vanished.”

She suddenly turned serious.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m saying it’s too late to regret it now.”

“You already said that. Why would I regret anything?”

Abruptly, the self-proclaimed goddess stopped talking, and I heard footsteps approaching.

“Oppa [term of endearment for older brother used by females]. It’s time to wake up.”

Knock knock. A knock on the door.

When there was no response, the doorknob turned without warning, accompanied by a soft sigh.

“Can I come in?”

I needed to understand what was happening before I could even make a sound.

I don’t have a younger sister. Especially not one as unbelievably beautiful as this.

A pure-looking, black-haired girl cautiously peeked her head in and entered the room.

Her expression was stiff, and her voice was emotionless and calm as she called out to me.

“You were awake, why didn’t you say anything?”

Her eyes… seemed somewhat uneasy.

Like she was looking at a criminal about to commit a crime.

As I began to sit up in bed, my sister flinched.

“Ah, then I’ll go downstairs first….”

“Wait a minute.”

“Why?”

She gestured with her eyes, as if asking if I couldn’t see her.

The blonde woman standing there proudly. It’s all so strange.

Is she really a spiritual being? Only the girl’s eyebrows furrowed in the uncomfortable silence.

“……Am I your brother?”

“……”

She looked at me with a very strange expression, as if the question itself was bizarre.

The conversation wasn’t flowing at all….

As I looked like I was about to get up, the pretty black-haired girl hurried down the stairs.

The goddess chuckled, looking at me standing there bewildered.

“How is it to see Serena in person? Can you still say things like ‘no-arousal’?”

I think I’m starting to understand what’s going on.

The name of the unrealistically beautiful girl who briefly appeared is Serena.

And her asking if she’s ‘no-arousal’ implies that this is all happening inside the game….

“Looking at your ugly face, it would take you a thousand years to capture even one of my hidden heroines! Heh!”

The goddess’s words further solidified my guess into a certainty.

If that’s the case, there’s a misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up.

“Goddess.”

“Hmph. What. Did you suddenly feel like apologizing? It’s too late, though.”

I knew that this arrogant blonde goddess possessed some kind of mysterious power.

I told her the truth as clearly as possible.

“It wasn’t me who wrote it.”

“Huh?”

The goddess’s eyes widened in shock.

“The review. I didn’t write it.”

“Th-that’s a lie. It’s your account. I… I investigated everything…!”

“It’s an account I lent to a friend. He begged me because his own account got banned.”

“Wait!”

It seemed she was trying to verify the facts using some kind of mysterious magical power.

After a moment.

“I-I’m sorryyyyy!”

The goddess was now performing a dogeza [a Japanese term for prostrating oneself as a sign of apology] in front of me.