My On*Hole Academy [EN]: Chapter 135

< 134 > Ah, This is Called a ‘Date’ (2)

“What should we eat now?”

I hadn’t done anything, but the hamburger I ate this morning had completely vanished from my stomach.

I ask, looking around for a place to go.

I’m a little sad that my mental restaurant map has been reset.

“Sanghyuk? Is there anything you want to eat?”

“Me? I….”

Hmm. Where should I take her?

Yuuna looks at me with wide eyes.

“…Korean beef Omakase [a multi-course meal where the chef selects the dishes]?”

“Pfft…!”

What? Are there no cows in this world?

“Ah, sorry…. Why Korean beef all of a sudden? Sanghyuk, do you have a lot of money?”

“I think I do?”

“……Ona-hole collector is amazing. A student eating Korean beef on a date.”

It’s our first date, so we can eat something a little expensive.

Yuuna chuckled and continued.

“You’re like an old man!”

“……”

I am an old man…….

Yuuna quickly tries to smooth things over when she sees me deflated.

“Ah, it’s not that I don’t like beef. Don’t misunderstand? Ugh. You’ll get caught by a bad woman and get ripped off?”

“So, if you’re skipping Korean beef Omakase, what do you want to eat?”

“Tteokbokki [spicy stir-fried rice cakes]……?”

This time, I burst out laughing at Yuuna’s words.

“Puhaha.”

No, you’re skipping beef and eating tteokbokki?

“What! Are you making fun of tteokbokki? Huh?!”

“Puhuhu…. You’re like a child.”

“Tteokbokki is so delicious!”

Academy students are still students.

“Do you perhaps like fried food and sundae [Korean blood sausage] too?”

“I love them!”

“Hahaha!”

“Why do you keep laughing?!”

Tteokbokki, fried food, and sundae are a classic combo. I decided to go along with Yuuna.

“Over there. Let’s go in there.”

We go into the tteokbokki restaurant Yuuna chose and sit facing each other at the table.

“I’ve been coming here often since middle school…. The mashed potatoes and tteok [rice cake] are really delicious!”

“Oh, really?”

I agree with Yuuna, who is excited, and wait for the food to come out.

At the next table, younger students who don’t seem to belong to the Academy are gathered, eating and chatting.

Then, the students slowly approach this way.

“Um…. Can you take a picture with us…?”

“……”

A picture? Out of nowhere?

“Do you guys know me?”

Three small, fair, and soft things gather and push each other to speak, looking like baby puppies.

“Oppa [term used by younger girls to address older brothers or male figures], aren’t you Jelly Man…?”

“……”

……Jelly Man?

Yuuna cuts in to explain to me, who doesn’t understand what they’re talking about.

“I think they’re your fans?”

“I had fans…?”

“Sanghyuk, you were trending in real-time. You’re still pretty hot right now?”

Trending? Real-time trends? Really……?

I heard from the student council president that I had a favorable image, but I didn’t expect these fair and soft female students to…

…be my fans and ask me to take a picture with them.

“Oppa, you’re so handsome….”

“…You’re even more amazing in person….”

“Can you take a picture with us?”

Let’s concede that I have fans.

But shouldn’t the age range of my ‘personality excretion’ fans be this low? What kind of world is this!?

“I’ll take a picture. But…….”

I try to find something to say,

and my voice trembled from embarrassment.

“Those kinds of things, they’re harmful, so don’t look them up too much.”

“……Kyaa!”

“Yes! Oppa!!”

“It was so cool how you defeated the Twin Villains with Jelly Magic!”

……I took pictures with them while correcting their misunderstanding.

“They’re not villains.”

“But they were bothering you, Oppa?”

“It couldn’t be helped because of the exchange rules.”

“I see…. I didn’t know because I only saw it in shorts [short video clips].”

It probably went up with titles like 「How Jelly Man Defeats the Twin Villains」.

After taking pictures together,

my self-proclaimed fans were busy tapping on their phones, uploading to Dunsta [parody of Instagram].

I felt a little dizzy seeing the hashtag ‘personality excretion’.

“Are you Oppa’s girlfriend…?”

“U, um. Why?”

“You look so good together!”

“You’re pretty!”

“Tha…nk you?”

The soft trio then politely bowed 90 degrees, saying, ‘Enjoy your meal,’ and left the store, chattering.

……Those innocent, kind, and pure kids….

…became my fans after seeing 「that」.

“Kids shouldn’t be watching that kind of stuff…….”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“……Shameless personality excretion has been disguised with the cute name of Jelly Magic. I’m a little shocked.”

“Everyone likes it because it’s been softened, so isn’t it okay?”

Is that so?

Maybe that’s true. Let’s bury the vulgar truths that only I know in my heart.

If there’s a fan base that likes me, calling me Jelly Man, I don’t want to shatter their illusions.

“Ah. It’s here!”

The tteokbokki set has arrived.

The mashed potatoes that Yuuna mentioned decorated the red sauce and garae-tteok [long, cylindrical rice cake] like freshly scooped ice cream.

Looks delicious.

“Why did you bring your boyfriend today of all days? The guy is very handsome. Huh?”

The auntie [term for older woman] put down the dishes and glanced at me.

“Ah… thank you.”

“Enjoy your meal. You’re tall, so you’ll eat a lot. Tell me if you need more.”

Yuuna, you were a regular here.

After the auntie left, I asked Yuuna directly.

“Why did you come to a place you always go to?”

“Because I wanted to introduce you to it. It’s delicious~.”

The garae-tteok is soft, and the sauce is spicy.

Just the tteokbokki flavor I know. Nothing more, nothing less, but…….

“Eung. It’s delicious! Come on, try eating it with this mashed potato?”

Who you eat with is also quite important.

“It’s good.”

Those words came out of my mouth without resistance.

“Right? Let’s go see a movie after eating this.”

“Did you pick something out?”

“The ones playing now are this and this…….”

While peeking at the smartphone Yuuna held out and choosing what movie to watch.

Time suddenly stopped.

……It’s En-chan Time.

En-chan casually came and sat in the empty seat next to me.

“Not at all.”

The small blonde goddess protests.

“This date is not vulgar at all. Sanghyuk-nim.”

Even if time stops, I can still eat tteokbokki.

I said, chewing on the tteok.

“Did you catch a disease where you die if you’re not vulgar?”

“It’s natural that a soft and warm pussy is better than tteok.”

“……Don’t compare it to food….”

You’re making the tteok taste weird.

I know that pussy is good, but is that something you should say in front of a dating couple…….

“Don’t you feel any lust? There’s no way, the protagonist has infinite stamina.”

“I’m just not acting on my lust.”

Every time I felt Yuuna was lovely, I wanted to do it, but

I just didn’t do it because I was going to solve it as it is.

“You’re really weird. You’re not having sex even though you’re exuding completely hot, perverted mating pheromones.”

“Here, you eat too.”

“Uwoomung.”

I put a thick garae-tteok in En-chan’s mouth.

She puts it in her mouth full of cheeks and chews it, and I thought it was like a hamster that was fun to feed.

“Is it good?”

“It’s delicious. It’s a little spicy, though.”

“Here. One more.”

I put another garae-tteok in her mouth.

“Uwoomung!? Even if you try to shut my mouth with food…….”

“Oh my. You eat well.”

I stroke En-chan’s head like an uncle playing with his niece.

“Can you stand the perversion?”

“……gulp….”

En, who finished chewing the garae-tteok after taking her time, also drank the water I had poured for her in one gulp.

“I don’t know what’s… huff… good about this kind of wholesome date?”

“A date is when a man and woman who like each other eat together like this. Like me and En-chan.”

“A man and woman who like each other? You and me?”

En-chan’s cheeks turned red.

“I, I do like you……. But I like Sanghyuk-nim who does perverted sex the most?”

“We do that too. We’re just resting now.”

“Where’s the time to rest? There are so many heroine pussies in this world.”

“How many are there?”

I suddenly became curious and asked.

How many pretty heroines with unbelievable looks like Serena and Yuuna are there in this world?

“Um……. There are 400 in Korea alone right now?”

“……Are you crazy? When are you going to conquer them all?”

“That’s why you have to do perverted mating quickly! How many heroines are waiting for Sanghyuk-nim’s choice.”

“This is really a brainless sex game. This.”

400 people…….

How did they adjust the amount?

Wasn’t the number that high in the game version?

If it’s 「Hidden Heroine」, the number might be a little smaller.

“With that kind of theme, why did you set Quintia up to be so strong?”

“You could have taken her. Quintia is a heroine whose crying face is pretty, so it was a chance to make her cry properly.”

“……Make her cry with rape? Hey. What a waste of tteok. Go in.”

When I tried to take back the third one I was going to feed her, En-chan grabbed my arm.

“Whyyy…! Can you do this to En-chan, the rape fairy, the ultimate beautiful girl goddess for Sanghyuk-nim?”

“A rape fairy, you say….”

Ugh.

What am I going to do with this perverted goddess?

“Say ‘ah~’.”

“Ahng~!”

“This is how you get tteok from your boyfriend in a pure love story. Got it?”

“Habub♡”

En-chan smiled happily, chewing on my garae-tteok.

“Mashitta [delicious]……. Uwoomung….”

“Now go in. I’m going to play with my girlfriend.”

“Hmph. Don’t think that the surveillance of the perverted crackdown team En-chan is over with just this.”

En retreated with a cute farewell comment.

“…Huh?”

Yuuna tilted her head, looking at the bowl with my share in it.

“……When did you eat it all?”

“It was so delicious that I finished it in an instant. I should order another bowl.”

“Heueeum?”

I must have moved too obviously while time was stopped.

“Then, I’ll share some of my garae-tteok with you.”

“Put it directly in my mouth.”

Yuuna flinched.

“Embarrassing…….”

“No one’s watching. Hurry.”

The one feeding is more embarrassed.

Yuuna put the tteok in my mouth and muttered.

“…Ah-eung….”

Nom nom.

The tteokbokki I ate for lunch was spicy and sweet.

“It’s the fork I was using… is it okay?”

“If it’s not okay, won’t you kiss me?”

“……I, I will.”

The movie Yuuna and I watched holding hands in the couple seats was a war movie with a heartbreaking love story as the main theme.

Two girls were crying next to me when we came out.

“Ugh… it was so… so sad….”

“Heueeeng… Sanghyuk-nim…. How, how can the male lead die and not come back? Ueeeeeng.”

…….

Because this girl kept turning time stop on and off and intruding,

I felt like I was on a date with two people at the same time.

“Pure love is good too, right? So take it easy on the perverted talk.”

“Heueuk……. Because… such heartbreaking and sad things happen in reality… Sanghyuk-nim must lead the world in the right direction…!”

“What do you mean lead in the right direction.”

“Make sure there are no heroines who are sad or separated, and make them all your personal collection by banging their pussies!”

“…….”

……This is serious.

I knew very well that En-chan was not an emotionless perverted incarnation.

I wondered if she was a psychopath who mass-produced vicious content that remodeled personalities…….

If she’s crying so much just because the male lead and heroine didn’t have perverted sex and broke up,

then she’s not a bad goddess, even though her values are a bit strange.

Anyway, the date continues.

“Will Yuuna be sad if I die too?”

“……Sanghyuk… dies…?”

This time, Yuuna cried!

She wasn’t just crying, but dropping big teardrops, which made me very embarrassed.

Her eyes were completely wet and her shoulders were trembling, so I hugged her tightly.

“I’m not going to die! Why would I die? I’m alive.”

It’s strange. It’s natural to want to see your girlfriend happy, but…….

Yuuna’s crying face made my heart flutter a lot.

“You can’t die….”

“Why would I die?”

Yuuna hugged me tightly.

I don’t care who’s watching. I also stick to Yuuna as if we’re skinship…….

I’m gently caressing her butt.

…….

It’s in such a good position to touch, so I couldn’t help it.

“Yuuna?”

Why isn’t there a reaction?

“When you become a hunter… you see a lot of dead people……. I imagined it too realistically….”

“…….”

She’s seen dead people.

I often forget that the Academy female student I’m dating is a professional hunter.

From the perspective of a stranger who has only been possessed by OnaAka for two weeks, the fact that the pretty and young Yuuna risks her life and goes to the field is very unfamiliar.

“Next time, even if Quintia comes at me, I’ll protect Sanghyuk.”

“Wouldn’t that be difficult….”

“I knew I couldn’t win with the One Sword Style. So I’m using two swords. I’m going to learn a new swordsmanship…!”

“……Even if you have a thousand swords, wouldn’t it be difficult….”

Yuuna glared at me.

“Take your hand off my butt.”

“……Of course Yuuna can beat Quintia! Two Sword Style for the win!”

I thought she didn’t notice….

“Hmm, you can touch it more.”

……Thank you.

I gently caressed Yuuna’s butt. The softness of her butt through her denim hot pants makes my hands happy.

“There’s some time left before dinner.”

“Oh, really?”

Yuuna said shyly in my arms.

“……Do you want to rest somewhere…?”