My On*Hole Academy [EN]: Chapter 6

Chapter 5 – Please Isolate Me From Society Quickly (Urgent)

*

I was taken to the student council room.

Like an interview, the executives sat in front of their desks, watching me.

It seemed the student council’s morning agenda was me, Kim Sanghyuk.

“Sit down.”

This is my defendant’s seat.

It was a pretty good life!

But there were still too many things I didn’t know to give up now.

“You’ve got some nerve.”

I’m just sitting down like you told me to?

“If you catch my eye again, I would have killed you myself.”

That’s really scary. It doesn’t sound like a bluff because she seems capable of doing it.

Then, one of the female executives raised her hand.

“Um, President!”

“What is it, Evangeline?”

“Was Sanghyuk always this handsome? I didn’t know!”

“It’s already spread all over the school gossip. That the student council president is walking around with a handsome guy who suits her!”

“Both of you, shut up.”

“Okay…….”

Student council president? Is this woman the student council president?

What on earth did I do to end up on the student council president’s list of people she wants to kill?

Some people were joking around, but when the student council president spoke, everyone focused.

“I will begin the *shimni* [심리 – Korean for ‘interrogation’ or ‘inquiry’].”

The president looked down at me like I was a bug and said,

“Rest assured. I will not neglect my efforts to expel you.”

…Expulsion would be a problem.

I, Kim Sanghyuk, am not a pubescent high school student, even if I don’t know the physical age of this new body.

I know that deviating from the established rails in a world I don’t know well is dangerous.

From now on, I need to stick my butt in this large academy to be a respectable older brother to my pretty younger sisters.

“You have arrogant eyes.”

“It’s a misunderstanding. These are innocent eyes!”

The executives chuckle at my disciplined appearance.

“……You must have been able to reach amicable agreements with the victims in that way.”

I guess the student council president thinks I’m handsome too.

But an agreement? There’s a victim?

“Evangeline, read out Kim Sanghyuk’s demerit record. Kim Sanghyuk may refute anything that is untrue.”

Okay, come on! I’ll refute anything!

“Yes~ Let’s see. You were caught *ppurida* [뿌리다 – Korean for ‘spreading’ or ‘sprinkling’] semen on classmate Hena’s belongings, clothes, underwear, etc.”

Reference photos appear.

I’m already out, aren’t I?

Cold sweat ran down my spine.

“Walking around the hallway with women’s underwear on your head.”

Was that me?

“Bringing obscene magazines and sharing them with classmates, saying there’s a woman who looks like the student council president.”

I felt the student council president’s brow furrow.

Why is everything so *eumseup-han* [음습한 – Korean for ‘lewd’ or ‘perverted’]…….

“You’ve also *dochwal* [도촬 – Korean slang for ‘taking secret pictures’]ed the women’s restroom? Sanghyuk, I didn’t see you that way….”

You managed to endure without being expelled.

I was thinking about how to get out of this crisis.

But there is evidence clearly proving the facts being outputted on something like a beam projector.

A me I don’t know was being filmed.

Audio recordings are also playing.

– Hey, doesn’t Lizna look like the student council president? Look at this. Silver hair and natural *pokyu* [폭유 – Korean slang for ‘huge breasts’]!

– I can’t stand the student council president’s *ppangdaengi* [빵댕이 – Korean slang for ‘butt’], academy *onahol* [오나홀 – Japanese loanword used in Korean, meaning ‘sex toy’ or ‘pocket pussy’] optimized *ppangdaengi*! Woo-hoo!!

‘No, seriously, those lines with my voice….’

Besides that, a series of ridiculous minor offenses are listed.

The number of times I was pointed out for improper attire alone was eighteen.

“Kim Sanghyuk. Is there anything that is different from the truth in your opinion?”

“No.”

There’s no way out.

The evidence is too perfect.

It’s valid enough to make me a criminal ten times over.

“Is today’s strategy to act innocent and remorseful?”

“It’s not like that….”

Haa….

Suddenly, everything became a hassle.

Why do I have to seriously *hangbyeon* [항변 – Korean for ‘argue’ or ‘plead’] when it’s not even something I did in the first place?

Even if I *hangbyeon*, can I become innocent? It’s a setting prepared by the goddess of *yage* [야겜 – Korean slang for ‘erotic game’]. Here, if you set it as the goddess said so, things that didn’t happen also happen.

This is exactly that kind of situation.

Wasn’t the goddess supposed to be looking out for my convenience? Why did it turn out like this?

If I think about it seriously, I can quickly understand the reason.

‘…Because it’s a *yage*.’

When I think about it, there are plenty of reasons why the protagonist has to be a *gaemangnani* [개망나니 – Korean slang for ‘complete degenerate’].

Because the protagonist is the subject of all sorts of *gaebyeontae eumhaeng* [개변태 음행 – Korean for ‘perverted and obscene acts’] targeting the heroines in the game. Wouldn’t it be strange if I had a personality like mine?

Therefore, this forced *goguma* [고구마 – Korean for ‘sweet potato,’ used to describe a frustrating situation] event is not prepared for me to seriously *hangbyeon* and regain my honor.

‘You said you completely eliminated the *gongnyak* [공략 – Korean for ‘strategy’ or ‘walkthrough’] difficulty.’

Isn’t the student council president also a heroine?

For me now, the way to escape is surprisingly simple.

I can activate ‘Lucky *Seukebe* [Japanese word スケベ (sukebe) meaning ‘lecherous’ or ‘perverted’]’ and manipulate this absurd reality.

Then, the unpleasant device prepared to frame me as a criminal will be replaced with the student council president’s *boji chamgyoyuk* [보지 참교육 – Korean slang, a vulgar term implying sexual dominance or ‘corrective sex’], and the pretty student council executives here will be like *seobeu jeonlipum* [서브 전리품 – Korean for ‘secondary trophies’].

It’s a structure where one more trophy is added.

Academy harem life begins.

“There is no place for you in the academy, Kim Sanghyuk.”

The student council president looked down at me with cold eyes.

“Get out. We’ll take care of the procedures here.”

“Why didn’t you kick me out sooner?”

“Because the woman who was harmed by you didn’t want you to be punished that far. But if you stick your head back into the academy, it’ll be a different story then.”

There’s no time.

……To overcome this *eokka* [억까 – Korean slang for ‘unfair disadvantage’] point. Is *ganggan* [강간 – Korean for ‘rape’] the only option?

Will this elegant student council president also cling to me and show me affection like Serena?

The ‘Lucky *Seukebe*’ skill flickers before my eyes. It’s tempting me, saying I can make her kneel at any time.

[Would you like to activate (Super Powerful) Lucky *Seukebe*?]

What is this system message?

The goddess of *yage*?

[★Chance to Mass Produce Pretty Academy-Made *Onahol*s★]

Sparkle, sparkle.

Cheap neon signs are shining and making my eyes dizzy, but everyone doesn’t seem to notice.

“Focus on the situation in front of you! You scatterbrain!”

*Keuk* [큭 – Korean onomatopoeia for a gasp]!

The student council president grabbed my hair and glared at me from the front.

“Your family, Stella and Serena, are all honor students, but what are you? Aren’t you ashamed to see your sisters growing up well even after seeing trash like you?”

Don’t provoke me.

The ‘goddess of *yage*’ SD [Super Deformed] version character is hovering in front of my eyes like a fly, pointing to the system message.

[Chance to make the academy’s hottest girl♡ the student council president with the big *ppangdaengi*’s *boji* [보지 – Korean slang for ‘vagina’] into your personal *onahol*♡]

‘큭….’

“Don’t think expulsion is the end. You trash. I’ll take you to the *gyojeongbonbu* [교정본부 – Korean for ‘correctional institution’] myself. You’ll be able to be released after completing 300 hours of *seongbeomjoe billeon bangji gyoyuk* [성범죄 빌런 방지 교육 – Korean for ‘sex crime villain prevention education’] thoroughly.”

300 hours of *bongsa* [봉사 – Korean for ‘community service’ or ‘volunteer work’]….

I felt my head spin at those words.

[There has never been a *boji* this easy!]

[The *dodohago goapjeogin* [도도하고 고압적인 – Korean for ‘arrogant and overbearing’] student council president’s *boji* is now! Get it right away with Lucky *Seukebe*!]

‘Damn it.’

“If you have anything to say, say it. But choose carefully. Because it might be the last words you utter.”

Does the student council president even know what I’m holding back?

The goddess of *yage* is pulling aggro [aggravation], saying, ‘I can make everyone here into *onahol*s! *Ppuppu* [뿌뿌 – Korean onomatopoeia for a teasing sound]!’, but I’m trying my best to ignore it.

I’m holding back.

[Oishiku nare~ Moe moe kyun to the student council president’s *boji*!]

‘Hoo….’

Puhahaha, ah, really.

Even if I try to be serious, I can’t be serious at all. This damn goddess!

The muscles in my cheeks are twitching because I’m trying to hold back my laughter. Please stop. Where are you writing these vulgar lines?

I’m too embarrassed to make eye contact with the student council president because of the goddess’s *eumseup-han* approach.

It’s a million times fortunate that only I can see it.

At least, when I realize that a guy who knows I’m innocent is looking down on this whole situation, I feel a little relieved.

Even if it’s a *yage*, the false accusation is too much. Goddess.

[Right now, the student council president’s *boji*, which has a 500% compatibility with your *jaji* [자지 – Korean slang for ‘penis’], is free!]

[*Onahol* Quest (New!)]

[Collect student council president Isabella as my personal *onahol* (0/1)]

[Difficulty S (crossed out) None]

[Preceding Quest (crossed out) None]

[Preceding Quest 2 (crossed out) None]

[Preceding Quest 3 (crossed out) None]

[Rarity ??]

How much do you want to get me out of this situation?

I can’t help but laugh when I think that there’s a guy who can’t stand my false accusation more than I can.

Yeah. I think I was too serious about the established rails and stuff.

My backer is the goddess, and she wants me to become a *yage* hero who has changed his route to a harem.

She’s not the kind of person who would comfortably watch my life fall into hell.

Then there’s a way out no matter where I go.

Thinking that way made me feel very comfortable.

*Yage* hero? Hehehe, who decided that? Screw it!

I’ll do it ‘my way’.

“I have nothing to say. Thank you for the 300 hours of *seongbeomjoe billeon bangji gyoyuk*.”

“What? Thank you?”

“……?”

The executives were surprised and looked at me.

Even that *naengcheolhan* [냉철한 – Korean for ‘cold-blooded’ or ‘rational’] student council president seemed quite surprised by my *choyeonhan* [초연한 – Korean for ‘detached’ or ‘indifferent’] attitude.

“It’s quite different from last time.”

Was there a disciplinary committee last time too? Then the temperature difference must be severe.

I’ll just live for 300 hours as compensation for making my younger sister *sonddal* [손딸 – Korean slang for ‘hand job’]. Are you watching? Goddess of *yage*?

“Actually, it’s a crime worthy of death, but I’m grateful that you gave me a chance to be *gyohwa* [교화 – Korean for ‘rehabilitated’]. I also sincerely want to apologize to Hena, who was harmed by me.”

“Don’t try to *gaesujak* [개수작 – Korean slang for ‘pull a fast one’ or ‘play tricks’]. Do you think I’ll send you near the victim? You’re being *toechool* [퇴출 – Korean for ‘expelled’]ed from today.”

“Then that’s even better. I don’t remember it anyway, and in fact, there’s no way to sincerely apologize.”

“You don’t remember? What is this….”

“Now, arrest me. Student council president.”

“…….”

*Umjjeul* [움찔 – Korean onomatopoeia for flinching].

The almighty student council president steps back.

“300 hours. I will complete it. Please isolate me from society quickly.”

Have you ever seen a *yage* protagonist like this?

I smiled inwardly at that moment. As if time had stopped, everything stopped.

And a blonde goddess appeared and grabbed my waist.

“Ah! What are you doing!!”

“Hahaha.”

“You’re crazy! You’re crazy! Where is there a *yage* protagonist who receives *seongbeomjoe bangji gyoyuk*!”

“I’m here!! Hurry up and release the time stop. I’m a criminal who needs to be arrested by the student council president and *gyojeong* [교정 – Korean for ‘corrected’]!”

“Ehhh! You’re crazy. Are all the people who watch *sunae* [순애 – Korean slang for ‘pure love’] crazy!”

The goddess of *yage* grabs my collar and appeals.

“I told you there’s no *gongnyak* difficulty!? I told you you can just do it if you want to!”

“I’ll do it my way.”

“Who looks for *sunae* in a *yage*!”

“Originally, it’s harder to find lost honor, I wonder if the prison floor is cold.”

“Ugh! Do you really want to see me die of guilt!?”

“Come! Sweet *seongbeomjoe bangji gyoyuk*!”

In the end, the goddess bowed again.