Reader’S Regeneration Life [EN]: Chapter 317

317―――――

Merit Ceremony

“Eos!”

Thanks to Zion, Kim Yu-hyun avoided the worst-case scenario, but he was still in a very difficult situation.

He hoped things would get better with time, but Eos was not an easy woman.

Watching her not give him a single glance during dinner, Kim Yu-hyun could tell that she was very angry.

After dinner, he watched her return to her assigned room without a word and decided that he had to say something about the situation.

He was worried that if he dragged it on any longer, the relationship that had barely grown closer would be ruined.

And so, he called out to Eos and finally succeeded in stopping her.

“…What is it?”

But the woman’s voice was icy.

Even the great Kim Yu-hyun flinched at her reaction, cleared his throat, and cautiously opened his mouth.

“I’m sorry.

About earlier…”

“You were sitting and talking with a fairy, or whatever she is.”

“…”

“You were even smiling, something you never show me.”

“That’s…”

Just as Kim Yu-hyun opened his mouth to say something.

Eos turned sharply!

And glared at him with a rather frightening look.

It meant that she didn’t care what he said, but he should be careful because he could really provoke her anger.

“…”

Kim Yu-hyun judged that there was no point in opening his mouth in this situation, so he ended up just looking at Eos.

Eos Baylor, another powerhouse of the North, snorted and opened her mouth.

“What is it?

You stopped me as if you had some great reason, but you have nothing to say.”

“…”

“I didn’t know you could smile like that in front of a woman.

You try so hard not to smile in front of me, but you smile so comfortably in front of others.

Am I overreacting?”

Eos was feeling hurt by that very point of Kim Yu-hyun’s.

Clearly, he had feelings for her, and while he didn’t show it as clearly as Zion Claussen, he still maintained a relationship with her by showing his sincere feelings in his own way.

Considering that he was an extremely blunt man, it could be seen as a great improvement.

But Eos was feeling frustrated and an unknown sense of unease in the midst of all this.

Kim Yu-hyun clearly had feelings for her, but he kept his distance and didn’t come any closer.

She thought it might be okay since he wasn’t trying to distance himself, but rather trying to get closer, but the more she thought about it, the more she saw only his ambiguous reactions.

‘Why is he doing this?

The man who was approaching me well at first keeps… as time goes by…’

She wondered if she had been cold to him, or if he was upset because he hadn’t seen her much, so Eos herself took the initiative to approach him and make time to see him more often.

Each time, Kim Yu-hyun greeted her without hiding his delight, but in the end, he drew a line and stopped her from coming any closer.

The situation made her tilt her head once or twice, but as the situation continued to repeat itself, Eos briefly thought:

—Am I just one of the women who pass by that man?

—

Kim Yu-hyun seemed to reveal his true feelings, but then retreated, seemed to be approaching, but then backed away, so it was a situation where such thoughts were more than enough.

And those thoughts grew with anxiety and eventually exploded today.

Kim Yu-hyun’s smile, which she could barely see no matter what she did, was flowing out in front of another woman.

At that moment, Eos thought that her prediction might be correct.

Kim Yu-hyun’s favor towards her was just a brief fling, or perhaps not even that, but just a childish prank.

“That is definitely not the case.”

“If it’s not, then answer me clearly here.

What am I to you?

From the first time we met, you looked at me with strangely affectionate eyes, and since then, you’ve been looking at me whenever you get the chance, and you were so active in your letters, so why do you keep trying to avoid me when we actually face each other?”

“…”

“I thought you might be embarrassed to face a woman directly, but it doesn’t seem like that today.

If this is the case, then I can only think of one thing, right?

That you’re playing with me.”

“Absolutely not.”

Kim Yu-hyun, who had been silent, denied it with all his heart.

Eos snorted at the man’s reaction and continued.

“Is that so?

Then tell me.

Why are you doing this?

Why do you keep trying to approach me, but then avoid me when I approach you?

Do you want a woman who will only accept you when you’re in a good mood?

“…No.”

“If not, then tell me the reason.

Tell me frankly, as warrior to warrior.

If you’re not trying to deceive me, if you’re not trying to use me with cunning tricks, then tell me your heart.”

Eos didn’t say that if he still didn’t answer, then there would be no need to continue this uneasy relationship.

But that would also depend on what kind of answer Kim Yu-hyun gave.

“…”

Kim Yu-hyun still had no answer.

As before, he was just silently looking at Eos, and didn’t seem like he was going to say anything.

At that, Eos let out a deep sigh and shook her head.

It was always like this, always hiding something inside and trying not to reveal it.

If they were this close, he should just say it frankly, or say that they should stop here, that anything more would be difficult for each other.

His actions were neither one nor the other, making people confused and only making Eos’s insides boil even more.

In the end, Eos turned her body again, unable to wait for the other person’s answer.

Her sister, Jan, who was so harsh that she was called the cold winter itself, had met a good man and was living with a very happy smile, so what was this for her?

It was only good at first, and understanding and moving on was only once or twice, but anything more was difficult.

‘I should have just grabbed any warrior and had a wedding ceremony.

Foolish man.’

Being serious wasn’t bad, but being too hesitant was something that all the members of the North hated, especially.

It was always the same, whether it was a battle or an emotional issue between people.

It was right to retreat when it was time to retreat, and to push forward firmly when it was time to push forward.

She didn’t want to associate with a man who couldn’t even do that properly anymore.

“…Just a moment.”

Just as Eos was about to take a step, her body suddenly stopped in its place.

It wasn’t that she stopped moving, but that Kim Yu-hyun, who was standing behind her, grabbed her wrist.

“…”

Considering that Kim Yu-hyun had almost never been this active, it could be said that it was a positive sign with a high probability, even if it wasn’t certain.

Eos took a breath and turned her body as if to say, ‘Let’s believe him one more time.’

“Do you have anything more to say?”

“…”

“If not, let go.

I want to go in and rest.”

“…I’ve lost too much.”

A very sudden and irrelevant remark.

Eos looked at Kim Yu-hyun as if to say, ‘What are you talking about?’ but he didn’t care and began to take out the sincerity that he had been hiding in his heart.

“While coming here, I’ve lost too many precious things.

Those who smiled at me, and those whom I smiled at.

I lost them without even having a chance to do anything, lost them, lost them, and lost them again.”

“…”

“I was scared.

That those who smile at me, those whom I smile at, would all turn to ashes in front of me.

I hated it.

I hated experiencing such pain anymore.”

“You can just become stronger so that such things don’t happen.”

“There were times when I thought that way.

That if I became stronger, I would be able to protect them.

So I really went crazy and became stronger and stronger and reached this point.

But, but you know.

Eos.

It’s funny how the world is, but it seems that what will eventually happen will happen, and what can’t be stopped can’t be stopped.

No matter how strong I become, I can’t protect what I can’t protect.

I’m clearly strong, but because I’m strong, bigger problems arose, and someone else shed blood and tears.”

“That’s…”

“If I try to do something, my people get hurt because of it, and if I don’t do it, they bleed because of it, so it’s a continuous situation where it’s a problem even if I’m strong and a problem even if I’m not strong.

Every time that happened, what I felt was helplessness, hatred, and curses towards myself.

In the end, am I destined to lose no matter what I do, why am I only getting stronger and can’t do anything?”

That was the fate of Kim Yu-hyun, the protagonist of this novel.

He might be happy at the very end, but until then, he was a character who had to continue to lose those close to him, be mentally shaken, and repeatedly grow internally.

The protagonist was trapped in a fate where he had to lose his beloved woman, his close friends, and his trusted teacher and senior, cross over to a strange world, and repeat it again.

Because of this, Kim Yu-hyun instinctively distanced himself from anyone he tried to get close to from some point on.

He was scared, he was so scared that the person who got close to him would get hurt and die again.

He hated it, he hated all the acts of losing something again, spending the night in tears, and gnawing at himself with regret and self-hatred.

Like a kind of PTSD [Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, a mental health condition triggered by a terrifying event], he struggled in his past and suffered to the point of death.

That’s why Kim Yu-hyun might be following Zion.

As far as he had seen, he was a person who was so much more capable than someone like him.

He took care of his surroundings and would never give up anyone, the opposite of him.

And because of the expectations that came from that, the thought that he wouldn’t have to worry about that man, and about his surroundings, he was able to stand by his side without much burden.

“I was scared.

The moment you smiled at me, the moment you smiled at me.

Will all those happy times turn to ashes again?

Will it turn into a stream of tears, remain as a faded memory, and make me suffer?”

“…”

“It’s not that I don’t smile, it’s that I can’t smile.

I’m too weak, will I lose what I’m holding in my hand again and cry alone?

I’m so scared of that, I’m so terrified that I’m struggling with the steps I want to take but can’t take, because I’m such a weakling.”

The man who seemed so cold and firm.

Those eyes that had been so calm that they didn’t show even an inch of gap.

Now, they were shaking like a fragile flower swaying in the wind.

As Eos had wanted, Kim Yu-hyun finally revealed his true feelings.

But the inside was completely different from what she had expected.

A state just before rotting, where pus and blood continued to flow out from the festering wound.

‘I didn’t know it would be this bad….’

She didn’t know it would be this bad.

She never dreamed that the man who was just arrogant and strong would be suffering this much.

She really never thought of it.

Thinking that, Eos slowly approached Kim Yu-hyun.

Towards that foolish man who was biting his lip and trying not to shake.

Towards her man, who turned out to be like a child who was so caught up in all sorts of fears that he couldn’t even take care of himself properly.

“…”

Suddenly, the sound of soft musical instrument playing began to be heard from somewhere.

She didn’t know who, where, what song, or for what reason, but.

It was certain that the music she heard in her ear was very sad and pricked her heart.

“Yu-hyun.”

“…”

“Kim Yu-hyun.”

At Eos’s call, Kim Yu-hyun slowly raised his head.

He wanted to cry, he wanted to be in pain, but now he couldn’t even do that, as if he had shed all his tears and dried up, he was only showing eyes that were just cracked and cracked.

“Don’t think such foolish thoughts.

It’s not that you lost them, it’s that they couldn’t follow you.”

“…”

“I won’t be like that.

I have no intention of leaving you behind or dying, so don’t ever show me such a weak side again in front of me.

Do you understand?

I’m different from them.

So don’t ever show me that kind of voice, expression, in front of me again.

If you show me a weak side one more time, I’ll really kill you.”

It might have been a slightly new reaction for Kim Yu-hyun.

Instead of comforting him like other women, she grabbed his collar roughly with eyes, voice, and actions that were incomparable to usual.

An atmosphere as if she would punch him a few times right away.

Eos huffed as if suppressing her anger, and eventually let go of Kim Yu-hyun’s collar.

Then, she let out a sigh and looked up at the sky as if she didn’t know what to do, and remained silent for a while.

A space where a pair of men and women were standing without facing each other.

The music that had been quietly heard from before filled the place where only that uncomfortable silence was filled.

The moment when they took out their true feelings and their hearts were slowly melting while listening to them.

The sweet and affectionate performance that came there was slowly bringing the two men and women closer together.

“…Everyone said that.”

“…”

“That I’m not, that I’m different from others.

That it’ll be okay.

Like that… that’s what they said, and in the end, I’m the only one left.”

“So you’re scared that I’ll become like that too.”

“…Yes.”

Ha, Eos sighs.

She looked at this monster-like strong, yet more tender than anyone else, for a while, shook her head as if it wouldn’t work, and grabbed his collar again.

“?”

“Shut up, don’t worry about that, just stay by my side.

Whatever you’re worried about, that won’t happen.”

And before Kim Yu-hyun could even say anything, Eos pulled the man’s collar towards her and succeeded in bringing his lips into contact with her own.

Before Kim Yu-hyun could even react, it was an intense and fiery kiss between the two men and women.

—

“What are you doing?”

Lilith asks that while lying on the bed.

At that, Zion, who was sitting by the window and playing the lute, smiled and replied.

“I’m playing a love serenade.”

―――――――Author’s Afterword―――――――

Recommendations are always welcome!