Return of the Mount Hua Sect [EN]: Chapter 649

When you are at the very bottom, you don’t feel pressure. You can’t fall any lower. You have nothing to lose.

Pressure feels heavy when you can lose something. It’s different when you are trying to win.

“Senior Uncle, I⋯⋯”

As Gwak-Hwi started to speak, Baek-Sang raised his hand slightly, stopping him.

“Ah. Wait, wait.”

“Yes?”

Gwak-Hwi looked doubtful at the sudden interruption.

“Let me tell you now, don’t expect me to give you any real answers, or for your worries to just disappear by talking to me.”

“⋯⋯”

“I can’t do that. I’m barely handling my own problems.”

“⋯⋯You’re really not helping at all.”

“Life is a solo journey anyway.”

Gwak-Hwi chuckled softly at Baek-Sang’s words. Baek-Sang asked,

“So, are you saying it’s too hard to keep up?”

“It’s a little different from that…”

“Different how? It’s the same thing.”

Baek-Sang shrugged.

“Like I said, everyone is going through the same thing. You’re not special.”

“⋯⋯”

“Think about it. That Senior Brother is pushing everyone like crazy, and you can’t tell him to take it easy. And you can’t tell someone carrying ten times the burden to slow down.”

“Th-that’s right.”

Baek-Sang’s face twisted as if he was getting angry.

“At least you only have to follow Yoon-Jong or Jo-Geol, those half-wits.”

“H-Half-wits?”

Senior Brothers?

To Gwak-Hwi, Yoon-Jong and Jo-Geol seemed so great that he had never thought of them that way. But after Baek-Sang’s next words, he couldn’t help but agree.

“I have to follow Senior Brother Baek-Cheon, damn it.”

“Ah⋯⋯.”

At that moment, Gwak-Hwi deeply, sincerely felt sorry for Baek-Sang.

‘I’m better off.’

Compared to Baek-Cheon, Jo-Geol and Yoon-Jong had some humanity. Of course, things would be different if Chung-Myung was added, but that guy was never going to be compared to anyone anyway.

“And it’s not just Senior Brother. Senior Sister is like a sword demon! And even the young students are practicing like wild animals, swinging their swords like crazy.”

“⋯⋯That must be tough.”

“You think?”

Baek-Sang clenched his jaw, his teeth grinding together in frustration.

“I knew this would happen, so I ran away to the Jaegyeong Pavilion a long time ago⋯⋯. Damn it, what’s the point of running away? I thought I wouldn’t have to train if I went to the Jaegyeong Pavilion. But no, I have to train as much as ever, and I have to do the Jaegyeong Pavilion’s work as well⋯⋯.”

“⋯⋯.”

Of course, the statement about running away to the Jaegyeong Pavilion was a joke, but it was true that Baek-Sang was having a hard time juggling training and the Jaegyeong Pavilion’s work.

“Meanwhile, Senior Brother is busy training, neglecting all the duties he should be doing as the head disciple. When something happens, the guys who should be going to Senior Brother come to me and complain because he’s in training.”

“⋯⋯I’m sorry.”

Gwak-Hwi’s face fell. He felt bad realizing he was one of those people bothering Baek-Sang.

“Tsk.”

Baek-Sang clicked his tongue, seemingly displeased, and gulped down his drink before sighing.

“But you know.”

“Yes.”

“It’s not like I’m the only one having a hard time.”

“⋯⋯.”

His gaze shifted to the banquet hall. Loud music and happy shouts came from inside. Lanterns glowed warmly, and the smell of food drifted out.

“As I said before, it’s not like those guys drinking over there are carefree because they have no thoughts. They all must be feeling their own burdens.”

Gwak-Hwi nodded silently.

“Hwasan is getting stronger at an absurd rate. Sometimes, like you, I get scared. I worry that everyone will pass me by at some point, and I’ll be left here all alone. That I won’t be able to meet even the minimum expectations that the sect has for me.”

“⋯⋯Yes, Senior Uncle.”

Those words perfectly echoed the anxiety that Gwak-Hwi had been feeling.

The sect growing and becoming stronger was definitely a good thing.

But on the other hand, it also meant that the burdens and responsibilities that each individual had to bear were increasing.

“The pressure you feel will probably never disappear. No, it might even get bigger.”

“Even more than this?”

“The more you win, the more enemies you gain.”

Baek-Sang was calm, as if he had been thinking about this for a long time.

“In the past, Hwasan only had to follow those in front of them. Jongnam was above us, and Wudang was there, so we had nothing to lose even if we lost.”

“⋯⋯.”

“But it’s not like that anymore. Now we have something to lose. And other sects will gradually start to keep us in check and target us.”

Baek-Sang stopped talking for a moment and looked up at the sky.

‘I didn’t know back then.’

There was a time when he only aimed for and looked up to the dazzling image of a swordsman from a prestigious clan, wielding a sword with splendor.

But now he knew.

What lies behind that splendor.

Even the Five Swords, who were building up a dazzling reputation, weren’t simply happy.

Rather, the burden they felt would be on a different level from the burden that Baek-Sang or Gwak-Hwi felt.

“Then what should we do?”

“Huh?”

“To shake off this burden⋯⋯.”

“What did you hear?”

Baek-Sang scolded Gwak-Hwi and then smiled brightly. But his smile didn’t reach his eyes. It looked a little sad.

“I told you not to expect anything from me? I’m not the kind of person who can give you answers to that.”

“⋯⋯.”

Gwak-Hwi’s face turned sour in an instant. He couldn’t understand why he was smiling so brightly while saying such things.

“There’s no answer.”

Baek-Sang muttered indifferently.

“You just have to grit your teeth and endure it.”

“⋯⋯What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What other answer is there?”

Gwak-Hwi’s respect for Baek-Sang faded quickly. It felt like it blew away like leaves in the wind.

‘Was he always this hopeless?’

He didn’t seem like this before⋯⋯.

It felt like everyone in Hwasan was becoming like Chung-Myung – intense and focused.

“Why are you looking like that?”

“⋯⋯No. It’s nothing.”

“You’ve got a pretty cocky look in your eyes?”

“⋯⋯.”

Gwak-Hwi subtly averted his gaze.

But then, Baek-Sang opened his mouth with a slightly different tone than before.

“From the start, I.”

“Yes?”

“I don’t think someone without pressure can become strong.”

“⋯⋯.”

Gwak-Hwi flinched without realizing it.

Baek-Sang’s words pierced his ears with an unusually clear sound.

“Having no pressure means having no worries, and having no worries means not being desperate. You saw clearly today what happens to those who leisurely learn the sword without any particular worries or concerns, didn’t you?”

“⋯⋯That’s right.”

Of course, Wudang was not a group that could be so easily underestimated.

But the difference between Hwasan, which had been desperately struggling, and Wudang, which had learned the sword with all its background guaranteed, was clear enough for everyone who was there that day to feel.

“It’s always overwhelming. The top is pulling like crazy, and the back is following like crazy.”

“⋯⋯.”

“But it’s also true that we’ve come this far thanks to struggling in between.”

“⋯⋯That’s right.”

“So think about it more.”

Baek-Sang, having finished his drink, slowly got up from his seat.

“Thinking is valuable in itself. I don’t know if you’ll find a satisfying answer⋯⋯ but anyway, feeling pressure and worrying isn’t wrong.”

“⋯⋯.”

“I’m leaving. Tsk. You came to someone who was enjoying his drink.”

“A-Are you leaving?”

“I’m going to sleep. My bruises are killing me.”

Baek-Sang turned around and waved his hand without looking back. Gwak-Hwi blankly stared at his retreating figure and raised his voice without realizing it.

“S-Senior Uncle!”

“What!”

Baek-Sang turned around irritably. Gwak-Hwi bowed deeply.

“⋯⋯Thank you.”

“Thank you, my foot.”

Baek-Sang waved his hand dismissively, as if he was annoyed, and jumped off the roof without hesitation, walking away with a heavy tread.

Only after his figure, walking between the pavilions, disappeared from sight did Gwak-Hwi slump back down in his spot.

“⋯⋯It’s not wrong⋯⋯.”

He hadn’t found a satisfying answer, and he hadn’t solved his worries about what to do in the future. But as he pondered those words, he felt a little more at ease.

He quietly muttered, gazing at the light leaking from the banquet hall.

“Everyone’s the same.”

Everyone was carrying their own burdens.

“Tch.”

Baek-Sang, who had subtly turned his head and looked at the roof of the eaves, clicked his tongue lightly.

‘It’s a good thing.’

For a while, it was enough to just do what he was told. But now, he couldn’t do that anymore. As Hwasan had more to do, and as more disciples other than the Five Swords had to step up, these worries would only increase and deepen.

And they would become stronger through those worries.

“Tsk. What am I rambling on about⋯⋯.”

“No. It wasn’t too bad.”

Baek-Sang’s body stiffened at the familiar voice that pierced his ears. He stood there silently for a long time, then asked in a sullen voice without turning around.

“Were you watching?”

“Yes.”

“⋯⋯From when?”

“From the beginning.”

“From the beginning?”

His head slowly turned to the side. Baek-Cheon was smiling brightly under the pouring moonlight.

“⋯⋯No. Why are you spying on me?”

“My lovely junior disciple left with a rather troubled face, so I wondered what was going on and followed him.”

“You didn’t even care when my lovely senior brother left?”

“Our senior brother does so well on his own, why would I bother?”

“⋯⋯.”

Baek-Sang’s face turned bright red.

“Give me some warning, seriously!”

“Haha.”

Baek-Cheon only laughed without answering, and Baek-Sang, feeling awkward for no reason, turned his body away irritably.

“Tch!”

He felt a hot flush of embarrassment. It was like Baek-Cheon had read his secret thoughts. His ears and the back of his neck were burning.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to my room!”

“Already?”

“Senior Brother may have won easily without getting hit, but I got beaten up! I’m going to rest.”

“Still, it looks like you could have one more drink?”

“⋯⋯Yes?”

When Baek-Sang turned around, Baek-Cheon was shaking a bottle of alcohol in his hand as if to show it off.

“It’s been a while since the two of us had a drink. How about it for old times sake?”

“⋯⋯.”

Baek-Sang scratched his head and sighed as if he couldn’t help it.

“But you can’t mention what you said earlier.”

“I might not know once I’ve had some alcohol.”

Baek-Cheon chuckled softly and lightly patted Baek-Sang on the shoulder as he approached.

Just as he was desperately trying to support Chung-Myung, the other Hwasan disciples were also doing their best in their respective positions.

Realizing this anew, gratitude filled his heart.

“Let’s go.”

“What is this for an injured person⋯⋯.”

“I brought your favorite Hwaju separately.”

“⋯⋯You’re saying something I like for the first time today.”

Baek-Cheon, who ended up smiling, patted Baek-Sang on the shoulder once more and slowly walked ahead. Baek-Sang silently stared at his retreating figure.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“⋯⋯I’m going.”

Baek-Sang smiled silently and ran towards Baek-Cheon.

‘It’s changed.’

Yes, so much has changed. So much has changed that it can’t even be compared to just a few years ago.

Even in the future, Hwasan will change rapidly.

Perhaps Hwasan will become so different from what Baek-Sang knew.

But there are definitely things that don’t change.

‘Yes. Still, Hwasan is Hwasan.’

“Alright, let’s go!”

“Ah, don’t pull me!”

The bright moon bathed the rooftop in silver light. The air was cool and carried the faint scent of plum blossoms from the garden below. The sounds of the banquet – laughter and clinking cups – were a warm hum in the distance. The bright moon quietly illuminated the backs of the two men, who were playfully bickering and eventually walking side by side, stumbling along.

It was a night when the light was so bright that everything in the world seemed bright.