Revenge Costs Interest [EN]: Chapter 155

Revenge Has Its Interest 155

155. I Need Time to Hate

2024.01.02.

Leah wrote in her diary, pouring out the misery she felt.

Surrounded by countless people in the Duke’s residence, she felt utterly alone, unable to confide in anyone about her true feelings.

Yet, the more she poured her emotions onto the page, the more tears streamed down, blurring the ink and smudging the letters.

Even though she loved Terrence, Leah’s doubts continued to grow.

However, she couldn’t bear the thought of Terrence seeing her despair.

From the moment she closed her diary, she would once again become the kind and lovely Grace Bizac.

“Grace!”

Terrence’s voice startled her, and Leah quickly shoved the diary into the drawer.

“Are you here?”

Terrence, wearing a nightgown, stood in the doorway with a crystal glass of whiskey in his hand.

Leah approached him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Terrence gently kissed her forehead, inhaling the scent of fragrant soap, a simple expression of his love.

But Leah couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze.

“Let’s go to sleep,” she said.

Leah hurriedly led him to the bed, desperate to sleep and quell the turmoil in her heart.

Contrary to her wishes, the intoxicated Terrence was in no mood for sleep.

He was consumed by lust, his eyes filled with admiration for Leah’s body.

‘I love you, so I have to give my all in this moment, right?’ she thought.

She tried her best to satisfy his impatient desire.

She moaned sensually, twisted her body seductively, and timed her exclamations perfectly. But her body seemed to betray her mind.

She had resolved to simply fulfill her duty, but she was quickly swept away by the storm of lust, unable to resist.

“Ah… !”

The emotion she felt for him now was closer to a love-hate relationship than affectionate love. Yet, her body, trained by him, moved instinctively.

She knew exactly how to satisfy Terrence’s desires, and her body responded accordingly before she could even think about it.

‘I wish you would be helpless, even for a moment,’ she thought.

Leah longed to make Terrence her prisoner, to make him laugh, cry, and crave her love at her command.

Leah shifted her position and looked down at him from above.

“Like a goddess,” he murmured.

With disheveled blonde hair and a beautiful, naked body, Leah resembled a goddess enjoying a game. No, to the sacred being before him, he was merely an insignificant mortal.

“Love me, Grace.”

Terrence surrendered his body to Leah.

“I will be your slave, so treat me as you wish. You can play with me as much as you want.”

“I want to dominate you,” she whispered.

A thrill ran through her bewitching blue-violet eyes.

Sometimes, when she gazed at him with those jewel-like eyes, he felt as though she were stealing his very soul.

“As much as you want,” he replied.

She possessed him with a haughty air.

She raised both hands, swept her blonde hair back, and relentlessly pursued pleasure.

Terrence was mesmerized by the beautiful goddess’s movements and slowly became a slave to his senses. Leah was more active and daring than ever before.

Instead of passively submitting to Terrence’s desires, she treated him as if she were punishing him, or as if he were simply a tool to satisfy her pleasure.

But Leah’s provocation thrilled Terrence. The woman with the flowing blonde hair above him was his heaven.

‘Terrence, I hate you,’ she thought.

If she could punish him even in this way, she would be as daring as she pleased.

This is what he wants from her, right? To satisfy his desires every night.

She had to meet his expectations, because she had rendered her body infertile for that very purpose.

If she couldn’t even bear his children, she had to at least satisfy his pleasure.

Leah teased him like taming a wild horse, then guided him to a soaring climax.

Then, before she knew it, she herself was consumed by lust, like a ship lost at sea. The two were swept away by the storm and became one.

Leah looked at the sleeping Terrence, then put on her gown and walked to the window.

She tried not to cry, but her face reflected in the glass was already streaked with tears.

‘I can’t face Terrence. No, I can’t forgive him,’ she thought.

Apart from love, her heart burned with anger towards him.

She stared at Terrence’s reflection in the mirror. She hated the sight of him sleeping contentedly after their passionate encounter.

‘Selfish person,’ she thought.

In this state, she was absolutely not confident in walking down the aisle with him while smiling.

She needed time to hate and forgive Terrence as much as she needed. Of course, that was impossible by his side.

Because Terrence hadn’t even considered her feelings in the first place.

If he had any conscience, he should have asked. Why did he take away her chance to choose?

‘Just because you love me, you don’t have the right to choose for me. I am not an object that you can control. I am also a human being who can think and worry,’ she thought.

Leah cried out silently.

At the same time, she hated herself for not being able to completely hate Terrence. But one thing was certain.

‘We need time,’ she thought.

To be exact, she desperately needed time and opportunity to calm her heart, not Terrence.

Only then could she love and understand Terrence more fully in the future.

If things continued like this, her heart would surely fester and burst. Leah slowly turned around and looked at the sleeping Terrence.

‘Terrence, give me time to hate you as much as I want. If we bury it like this, we have no hope,’ she thought.

She would have been better off not knowing until the end. Knowing had become poison.

* * *

After several days of 고민 [Korean: agonizing], Leah made a decision. In the meantime, Sarah returned and brought her a lot of news.

“The master is currently in Lomerica, and he will return as soon as he finishes the work he has done there.”

“When is that?”

“He said it would take a year.”

After receiving legal punishment, Sarah found out where Richard was thanks to Theresa’s consideration and wrote to him regularly.

According to her, it was a letter close to a confession.

“I want to see it too. Our dad’s handwriting.”

When Leah sobbed, Sarah held the letter tightly in her hand.

Leah realized it only after seeing the familiar handwriting.

‘My father is alive,’ she thought.

Leah stared at his address written on the envelope. Then, without realizing it, she said to Sarah.

“Sarah, why did you do that to me?”

“Yes?”

Sarah, who was busy organizing her luggage, looked at Leah with a bewildered face.

“Why did you give me birth control pills?”

When Leah became serious, the smile disappeared from Sarah’s face. She kept moving her lips, trying to explain.

“I know, it was Terrence who ordered it. But you know what? Because of that birth control pill, I can’t have children in the future.”

“What do you mean? This is the first time I’ve heard of it. I just thought you shouldn’t have children for the time being. Because the young lady’s body is weak.”

Sarah stammered, perhaps because she was flustered.

Well, Sarah wouldn’t know, the medicine Vivian gave her had a different effect than the medicine on the market. That was just a poor excuse.

Leah’s emotions were more important now.

“I can’t forgive Terrence. No, I need time to forgive him.”

“What do you mean you need time?”

“It means it’s difficult to resolve the issue with Terrence in a good way. I think I should be away from him for a while.”

Sarah didn’t say anything for a while at Leah’s words.

In fact, if she had known that the medicine Terrence gave her would cause infertility, she would never have given it to Leah.

Even if she had to give it to her, she should have asked her opinion first. At least, a man who respects the woman he loves should have done that.

“If I stay with Terrence like this without anything happening, my wounds will never heal.”

“I need time to hate, understand, and forgive as much as I want, Sarah.”

“I’m sorry, young lady.”

Sarah ran to Leah and hugged her. She cried and begged for forgiveness.

It was something she did to help Leah.

In addition, she felt pathetic for following Terrence’s orders without a shred of doubt. In the end, she had given Leah another indelible wound.

“I can’t face Terrence.”

“I understand. The more you love, the greater the sense of betrayal.”

Sarah hurriedly took Leah out of her arms and repacked the luggage she had taken out of the trunk.

“Young lady, don’t go anywhere without me. I will serve you.”

“If you move with me, Terrence will notice.”

“No. He will eventually be relieved.”

If Leah left somewhere without knowing where she went, Terrence would go crazy.

But Sarah wanted to make one thing clear to Leah.

“You’re coming back, right?”

“Yes, I’ll be back. I can’t leave Terrence forever.”

“Then that’s fine.”

Sarah seemed distraught with guilt. She moved the same clothes back and forth, trembling.

Leah, unable to watch, slowly approached her and took her hand.

“I don’t blame you, so don’t feel guilty.”

“But… !”

“Sarah, I promised.”

“Who with?”

“With Grace.”

Leah told Sarah what Grace had said to her when her soul disappeared.

Grace asked her to achieve the things she could never achieve.

“I thought it was a reward for Grace, who gave me her body and left. But now that’s impossible… .”

Instead, she would have to live with a sense of debt for the rest of her life.

So from now on, she was going to find another way to repay Grace. Before that, she had to calm her heart.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the New World where my father is.”

“It will take more than a month to get there.”

“It’s okay. If I can only meet my father… .”

“Actually, there’s a reason why the master isn’t returning to Galtenia.”

Sarah brought up the words she couldn’t bring herself to say to Leah.

But she already guessed what it was, so she wasn’t curious. Even if he came back, his daughter would be dead, so he didn’t have the courage.

“So I have to go.”

Although the body of his beloved daughter has disappeared, he must let him know that her soul remains.

But Sarah’s stiff face didn’t ease easily.

“Will the Duke be okay?”

“Sarah, I’m only going to think about myself for the time being.”

That would eventually be the way to return to Terrence quickly and the opportunity to love him again.