Sincerely, Vanessa [EN]: Chapter 138

To Teacher, From Vanessa 138

“You look even worse than Vanessa lying there.”

Gideon gave a bitter smile at Lina’s sharp remark. His large hand roughly swept over his gaunt cheek.

“If you’re alright with it, I’d appreciate it if you could come again.”

“Of course, I will. I’ll schedule it for exactly one week from now.”

Lina, who was about to end the conversation with a cold farewell, sighed briefly as she saw the man’s sharper jawline and the dry look in his eyes.

He was barely maintaining his composure on the outside, but it was obvious that he was a mess on the inside.

Even so, he was the person Vanessa loved, and she wouldn’t want to see him like this. The friend lying there wouldn’t want that either.

So, without realizing it, she opened her mouth.

“Do you know? Vanessa had decided to forgive ‘Teacher’.”

Gideon didn’t say anything and lowered his eyes. He knew. If it hadn’t been for the letter she left, he would have wanted to hang himself right now.

Chebati, who had been quietly observing him, smiled brightly and said,

“Take good care of your health. You have to lure Vanessa out with your shining beauty when she tries to sleep again.”

As Chebati took a step, Lina followed and whispered.

‘You told me to be careful earlier! Your words are worse! That man has a title. Lure him out—this isn’t some shabby bar in an alley.’

‘Well, it’s true. I’m just guessing, but I think Vanessa likes shiny things.’

Lina made a sullen expression and nodded as if persuaded. Well, that seems to be true. Vanessa said she liked light magic the most, and that man is very shiny.

Gideon, after confirming that the servants were guiding the two downstairs, returned to the room where Vanessa was lying.

The room was bright and sunny, with a warm temperature, just as the unidentified magician, presumed to be from Night Vandalu [likely a clandestine magical organization], had advised. As it was the space the lord of the castle cared about most, all the servants put their heart and soul into it.

Brightly blooming flowers decorated every corner. A delicately woven lace cloth covered the table without any gaps, and not a speck of dust could settle on the sparkling glass windows. The temperature and humidity were carefully managed to ensure comfort.

The only problem was that the owner of the room was asleep.

The brown-haired young lady, with her hair neatly spread out, was still unconscious. Her eyes, which were always sparkling with new sensations, were quietly closed.

“Lina glared at me so fiercely that it reminded me of the day we met in the academy classroom in the past. She looked at me like that even then, just for standing next to you. But I must accept it this time, as I invited her too late.”

The man sat on the chair next to the bed.

“I want to invite your friends often, but I’m worried that strange people will try to interfere if people visit too often.”

You’re very popular these days.

Gideon smiled faintly and wiped Vanessa’s fingertips with a clean cloth. Her round nails were well-maintained without any long parts.

“The special forces members are also clamoring to visit. But I’m worried that they’ll make a lot of noise and you’ll have a bad dream. You don’t know how much they bothered me. It’s always like that, but I think I’m being overly sensitive, especially when it comes to you.”

Everything is always new with you, so I’m a little dizzy.

The man’s lips, whispering like that, no longer held a smile.

“Vanessa.”

Gideon muttered. His focus was blurred. He hadn’t slept properly for a single day since he collapsed and woke up. He had to stay by her side.

Unlike Night Vandalu’s light advice, Vanessa was not waking up. As time passed, his composure disappeared, and his smile dried up.

He just couldn’t believe it.

He couldn’t understand why she was lying here unconscious. He whispered to himself that she wasn’t fully awake and not in her right mind.

But when he reached out into the air to feel her faint breath, he realized that this was reality.

If her falling was the price for his awakening, he wanted to give it back. He wanted to bear it. It felt like someone was strangling him.

‘I will definitely protect you too.’

What did he say back then?

Peres, Ronan, Miguel, and others came and earnestly urged him to rest for a while. He knew that being here didn’t mean much. Vanessa was peaceful and unaware.

But he couldn’t leave her side, not for her sake, but for his own.

He was constantly plagued by anxiety. He was afraid that something would happen to her while he was away. He would return to the bedroom and lie down, but he would quickly wake up from nightmares, so it was pointless. He had to be here. By her side.

A cracked voice came out again.

“Vanet. Net.”

It was a nickname he couldn’t easily call because he was afraid it would wear out. Was it because he wasn’t used to it? Vanessa was still asleep without moving…

“I was wrong. So please wake up.”

Give me another chance to apologize. The man whispered his mistakes countless times and pressed his forehead against her hand.

Fortunately, it was warm. That faint warmth was the only thing that kept him alive.

Just like the day he lost his parents in the distant past, an odd chill had been lingering in the castle since Vanessa collapsed. The castle, left alone, felt like a tomb of the people he loved.

“Didn’t you promise me? That you would always come back healthy.”

He pleaded, but again, there was no answer. He was still alone in the silent space.

His head felt empty.

Gideon, who was closing his tired eyes and letting time pass, organized the bouquets of flowers placed by his head and placed them on the table. The vibrant flowers were very bright, but he couldn’t feel it.

He carefully examined Vanessa and pulled out a letter from his arms. It was said that she had left it before leaving Valder Castle.

The letter, which had been read dozens of times and had slightly worn corners, was now at the point where he could memorize the contents with his eyes closed, but the man, wanting to hear Vanessa’s voice, traced the handwriting again.

「To Gideon.

I don’t quite understand the scene in front of me.

It’s really strange to see you with your eyes closed. I was always the one who dozed off and fell asleep first, listening to your soft whispers.

I realize now how great a luxury that was.

I just thought that when Gid comes back, he’ll read my letter, then we’ll all finish our work and face each other again, and then we can confirm each other’s feelings again. That’s what I thought.

But not everything is so easy. I was naive. I should have held onto you and dragged out all the stories without putting it off.

No, you should have done that. You should have held me and said that you wanted to know that your thoughts weren’t true. You should have asked me to reassure you.

Why do you doubt my heart on your own? I was just a little surprised and confused.

There’s no way to know exactly when emotions start. If you can know, it’s not love but anger. Things with clear reasons.

But the feelings I feel are not like that. I didn’t even know it existed, but it had bloomed without me watering it.

But if you want to be sure, I’ll tell you. The reason why I like you.

But I don’t want to write it here. Why? Because I hate your closed eyes.

Just kidding, I want to face you awake and tell you. Because it’s the first time I’m saying these words.

I always act calmly in front of everyone, but I’ll look you in the eye and tell you step by step so that even the person who is very scared only in front of me can feel at ease.

Since there’s no secret to waking up the sleeping Duke, I’ll have to move my body. You’re sleeping so prettily that I can’t hit you.

But you will definitely wake up, and the opportunity will come.

It’s too quiet around here. The silence feels terrible.

I’ll be right back. Get some rest.

Yours,

Vanessa.

p.s Someone told me that hitting with a ring on is the most painful.

pp.s I won’t let you off.」

Yes, silence feels terrible. You’re right. Even though the castle has always been quiet, it’s especially hard to bear because of the sense of loss.

So I hoped you would wake up soon and soothe me. I wanted you to tell me the reason and laugh at my stupidity.

Gideon traced the signature that read Vanessa with his fingertips. And then he lowered his head again and buried his lips on Vanessa’s hand.

It didn’t matter if you hit me with a ring or kicked me. I would gladly take it. I will listen to whatever you ask.

Of course, this was a thought he could have thanks to Vanessa’s many letters reassuring him. If she didn’t abandon him and just forgave him, everything else would be easy.

If you tell me the reason why you came to like me, I will also sit next to you and whisper together. I will repeat it dozens and hundreds of times. So that you will never doubt my heart again, so that the hands we hold together can become stronger.

But all these resolutions were powerless in front of his closed eyes.

He also wanted to do something to save her. But there was nothing he could do.

He could only endure the passing time.