Sincerely, Vanessa [EN]: Chapter 55

He waited several more days after that.

He comforted himself, thinking she must have had a busy schedule that prevented her from sending a letter. He smugly assumed that since she had sent a letter to ‘Teacher,’ she would send one to Gideon as well.

However, Vanessa’s reply still didn’t reach Gideon. The power dynamic was clear.

Gideon stared blankly at the letter Vanessa had sent to ‘Teacher’ before tilting his head back.

This emotional exhaustion is unnecessary. Her intention not to contact me is clear, so why bother paying attention? I don’t know the reason, but I don’t need to know it either.

I just need to focus on my role as Vanessa’s patron. That’s all. Yes, it’s nothing special.

Gideon arrogantly repeated this to himself. He didn’t even open the letter addressed to ‘Teacher’ before getting up and leaving his office.

Unaware of how strange his behavior was, compared to usual.

⚜ ⚜ ⚜

Toc.

At the edge of a fragile sleep, Gideon heard something falling. The sound of something light dropping and colliding.

Sleep vanished instantly. Gideon opened his eyes sharply and quickly turned on the lamp on the bedside table. A soft, reddish light chased away the darkness nearby.

Anxious, he hastily slipped his feet into slippers and approached the table with wide strides.

Unlike usual, a Hornir [a magical communication device] was placed on the table. It should have been in Hornir’s room.

The Hornir gleamed softly in the dim light, and a white ring shimmered faintly on top of it.

And still, nothing had fallen out of the Hornir’s entrance.

Gideon stared blankly at the scene before bursting into laughter and crouching down.

“Hahaha….”

How ridiculous and pathetic he was.

No matter how much he tried to deny it, he was clearly waiting for Vanessa’s letter.

If not, why would he be having endless dreams of letters falling? This was already the third time tonight.

The laughter soon subsided, and the room quickly fell silent. He was still alone in the vast room.

The man irritably ran a hand roughly over his face. His eyes twitched.

That can’t be. It can’t be. Vanessa Rose is just….

Gideon gritted his teeth.

He pulled the curtains of the bed closed and went inside.

The curtains were not opened again that night, but it was impossible to know whether the person lying inside slept soundly.

⚜ ⚜ ⚜

For three months, Gideon, who had been suffering from insomnia every night, was completely overturning his reputation for being indifferent and composed.

Normally, he would handle the simple accidents of his team members with a brief sigh, but since some point, a chilling gaze swept over them like a north wind.

Even the team members with the most chaotic tempers could only gulp and confess their sins before that gaze.

Gideon realized how serious his condition was only after noticing that the special forces members were trembling whenever they came to report—even when they hadn’t caused any trouble.

Even in joint meetings, no one dared to interrupt him. The atmosphere was so deadly that it felt like a knife would fly if they misspoke.

The King rested his chin on his hand and watched him before speaking.

“Duke, are you crazy?”

“……”

The King asked in a casual manner, like a street thug.

Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to say no. He knew that his daily life was faltering and staggering.

When he returned after finishing work, more work awaited him. However, Gideon hadn’t been able to concentrate at all lately.

Naturally, efficiency was at its lowest, and the work didn’t decrease. It was a complete mess.

Finally, Gideon opened his tightly closed mouth.

“Lately, I’ve been…”

However, his voice trembled and then suddenly stopped.

His aides, Ronan and Miguel, waited patiently for him to finish speaking, but the man kept his mouth shut.

Then, he abruptly said,

“I will be away for a while tomorrow.”

“Yes?”

Gideon began to scribble furiously with his pen, offering no further explanation. Ronan, who had been frozen for a moment, quickly covered Miguel’s mouth and dragged him out.

Miquel, who had been twisting and resisting, shouted as soon as the door closed.

“No, we have to ask him!”

“Just clear his schedule.”

“We’re supposed to meet with Levanchi of the East tomorrow to discuss the contract! The railroad project, the railroad!”

“He’s been sensitive lately, so don’t add to it….”

Just do it…. Ronan muttered, his eyes hollow.

Even as someone who had started working with Gideon as soon as he inherited the title of Duke, it was the first time he had seen him so depressed and lost.

“What on earth is wrong? He’s never been like this before, it’s driving me crazy.”

“Well, no one can handle overflowing emotions.”

Miquel’s eyes widened at Ronan’s muttering.

“What?”

“No. Anyway, it’s better to adjust his schedule.”

Miquel grumbled timidly but eventually nodded.

He had never troubled his employees before, so he wouldn’t be doing this on purpose. Something must have happened. Something big enough to disrupt his precise routine.

Miquel sighed and hurried off to change the schedule, hoping that the haughty Levanchi would understand.

⚜ ⚜ ⚜

Gideon arrived in Seogote in an instant. He didn’t use a portal but instead invested a huge amount of magic to use spatial displacement magic.

He deliberately moved without thinking. The more he thought, the more he felt like he was falling into a swamp. There was nothing he could do….

He gave Professor Apher’s name and entered the academy. However, Professor Apher, who was used as an excuse, looked bewildered.

It was understandable, considering that the leader of the special forces, known for being busy, and also holding the title of Duke, had suddenly appeared.

“What’s going on? Was there an appointment I didn’t know about?”

“Ah….”

Professor Apher looked at him questioningly, but he was having a hard enough time hiding his embarrassment.

The professors at the academy were all people who had taught him. They treated Gideon, who had become a Duke, as comfortably as they had when he was a student, which made the strangeness of his actions even more pronounced.

These were things he had never done even as a teenager. Changing his schedule arbitrarily, throwing himself into things without thinking.

“I, no. I was going to the library. No, I was going to donate to the library… I just stopped by. I heard there were some necessary books.”

Professor Apher said dryly, seeing Gideon hastily making excuses and adding rambling explanations.

“That’s something you should discuss with the headmaster. But why do you look like that? Have you been working too much lately?”

“……”

Professor Apher clicked his tongue as Gideon darkly ran a hand over his disheveled face.

“No matter how busy you are, you have to take care of yourself. A donation isn’t that urgent, so what are you doing… tsk. Come this way for now.”

Professor Apher poured him a cup of tea and cleared his workspace.

Gideon sat quietly, blinking his tired eyes. Ripples formed on the surface of the water in the teacup.

Professor Apher took Gideon to the headmaster’s office. The headmaster of Bamberg Academy listened to Gideon’s words and expressed his gratitude.

“Donations are always welcome. But I think you’ve already donated a lot before. Has this been discussed? I’m worried you might be politically attacked….”

“…It’s okay.”

Objectively, he didn’t look okay at all.

“Allow me the honor of showing the donor the place. Of course, you know it well, but it’s changed quite a bit.”

“No. It’s okay. I came without an appointment…. I’m just going to look around and then head back to Fiefdom.”

The headmaster, who had been quietly observing Gideon’s face, opened his mouth.

“Thank you for the kindness sent in the name of the Valder family. You are always welcome, so feel free to visit. Take good care of your health. Oh, there was one more thing I wanted to thank you for.”

At Gideon’s questioning gaze, the headmaster smiled gently.

“I heard that you protected the academy’s student well until the end. Thank you so much.”

He seemed to be referring to the incident when he fell into the cave with Vanessa. The words, ‘Then tell me where that student is,’ almost reached the tip of his tongue.

Gideon, who barely swallowed the nonsense, forced a smile.

“It was a natural thing to do, so there’s no need for thanks. I’ll see you again next time.”

Gideon bowed lightly and left the headmaster’s office.

Walking down the hallway, Gideon touched his high collar. He loosened the dark, thin tie that was constricting his neck, and it became easier to breathe.

In fact, he didn’t really know why he had come here. He just thought that staying cooped up in Fiefdom wouldn’t solve anything.

If he could see her face even once, this chaotic heart would be settled. Whether it was the end of everything or a new beginning. He would be certain of something.

At least he would be able to end the sleepless nights.

Wandering aimlessly, Gideon turned his steps toward the library. He didn’t know where Vanessa was, but there was a high probability that she would be in the library at this time on the weekend.

It was as natural as if he always walked this path. He knew which direction to turn, which building to enter.

But strangely, the closer he got to the library, the more his heart began to pound. His whole body was throbbing, his ears hurt, and his stomach, which had nothing in it, was churning.

Anxiously, he ran a hand over his cheek and repeatedly tightened and loosened his collar.

The building with the library was not far from the headmaster’s office. Like on some day in the past, he entered not through the main entrance of the library but through the side door, which was difficult to notice, located among the tall trees.

He had always used this door…. He hated being conspicuous.

It was dark as soon as he opened the door because it was connected between the bookshelves. The smell of old paper rose up to greet him, but he was busy trying to calm his churning stomach.

Gideon didn’t expect to meet Vanessa right away. He calmly accepted that he might not be able to meet her. Because it wasn’t a promised meeting.

Then, wouldn’t an ending where he ran away without realizing anything be so bad? He thought so.

But as he passed a few bookshelves, Vanessa was there. A window seat full of sunlight. Vanessa was there, receiving that light completely.

Before stepping out of the dark bookshelf and into the light, his steps slowly stopped.

His heart sank, and he became breathless. He clenched his fists to hide his trembling fingertips.

Vanessa’s white hand turned a page. Her eyelashes, made transparent by the light, blinked softly. Her delicate features shone cleanly, and her sparkling eyes were focused on the letters in the book.

Unaware that he was there.

He stood alone in the shade under the bookshelf. Realizing the beginning of something.

Everyone talked about how amazing and wonderful the moment they fell in love was.

‘It was amazing, it was like someone was ringing a bell in my ear!’

‘I heard her favorite song.’

They talked like that.

But he was different. The moment he recognized his own feelings and acknowledged them, he only felt despair. Because it was already a rejected heart.

For some reason, Vanessa would not reply to his messages in the future.

She would be at peace inside here. Learning new things, growing, meeting various people, and spending days full of various colors.

But he would have to embrace his newly realized feelings and learn how to digest and carve them away.

Because there is nothing more disgusting than the affection of someone who is not interested.

Gideon, who had been standing blankly, saw Vanessa smiling brightly at someone’s call. And a young man secretly admiring that smile.

He was inappropriately jealous of that. He would be nothing to Vanessa. According to her letter, just a friend she met by chance.

He had lost his center and was shaken by the mere fact that Vanessa’s letters had stopped, but she was not. Vanessa was still smiling.

The gap made him dizzy. A desire suddenly surged.

Then maybe, if he revealed who he was. If he revealed that he was her patron.

He suddenly came to his senses at the sound of cheerful laughter coming from somewhere. The thought he had just had struck his head. It was hard to bear the disgust for himself….

So what if you’re her patron, what difference does it make?

Gideon turned around and left the academy as it was. And he never contacted Vanessa again in Gideon’s name.

– Gideon Sol Valder fin.