Sincerely, Vanessa [EN]: Chapter 66

To the Teacher, From Vanessa (66/146)

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Vanessa started by washing her face in the bathroom with cold water.

Unlike her own place, where warm water would have flowed freely, she considered it too much of a luxury for her addled state. She needed the shock of cold water to clear her head.

Of course, it would have been even better if Gideon had been called away on urgent business.

But today was a holiday, and unfortunately, it seemed nothing had come up for Gideon. Ramona, smiling brightly, was there to help her get ready instead.

Vanessa put on the clothes Ramona had laid out for her: a dark blue dress that fell below the knees, simply cut and comfortable. The fabric rustled softly, a beautiful, muted color.

Ramona kindly offered to trim her hair.

“It suits you well because you’re tall. I’ll braid your hair lightly to the side.”

“I just… I can just go…”

Vanessa felt a lump in her throat at this excessive hospitality.

She was receiving treatment far too generous for the trouble she had caused. These people were treating her as if she were a close friend of Gideon’s….

But Ramona shook her head, smiling.

“How could I do that? Seeing such pretty curly hair makes me want to decorate it; it’s like an instinct.”

Quick-witted Ramona sensed Vanessa’s reluctance and braided her hair very loosely.

The large braid to the side was adorned with only a single ribbon. It was simple but complemented her wavy hair perfectly.

“Now, I’ll take you to the drawing-room.”

“……”

Vanessa stiffened and stood up, feeling like an old machine.

The moment to face Gideon had arrived. Would she remain a friend, or be demoted to mere acquaintance?

The interior of the huge castle was quiet. Few servants were visible, and the morning sunlight and peaceful silence lent the castle an air of serenity.

Vanessa gazed at the paintings on the walls and the small sculptures on the tables, walking as slowly as possible. She only wished she could move even slower.

“It’s less decorated than other castles. He dislikes anything too fussy,” Ramona said kindly, noticing Vanessa’s gaze.

“It’s a shame that more people don’t get to see the castle’s beauty. I hope you’ll visit often, Miss Vanessa.”

Ramona spoke with a hint of personal hope, but Vanessa only rubbed her cheek awkwardly.

“I…”

When Vanessa couldn’t find the words, Ramona smiled.

Perhaps this pretty lady didn’t remember the Duke’s expression yesterday; that might be the case. She had clearly seen his face when the Duke laid this lady down and left the room.

“Ah, we’re here!”

Before Vanessa could fully prepare herself, they had reached the first floor, and Ramona was opening a massive door. Vanessa wanted to scream.

Rather than being ornate, the door was simply elegant. Through the opening, she could see a man sitting comfortably on the sofa, bathed in sunlight. The man’s gaze, which had been fixed on some documents, turned towards them.

As Gideon stood up, Vanessa immediately bowed her head and apologized loudly.

“I’m sorry!”

Gideon covered his mouth with his large hand, barely managing to suppress a laugh.

Composing himself, he approached Vanessa and extended a hand, as if assisting a precious lady.

Vanessa extended her trembling hand, and he gently guided her to sit on the dark, plush sofa.

Before he could speak, Vanessa blurted out a rapid-fire apology.

“I’m really sorry. I think I was out of my mind. I think I drank too much. This will never, ever happen again.”

“I agree that you seemed to have had quite a bit to drink. Always be careful when drinking with Jonah Hill [likely a reference to someone known for encouraging heavy drinking].”

“Yes, I will. I’m sorry. I’ll be going now!”

Before she could even finish the sentence, someone new opened the door and entered.

He was a middle-aged man wearing gold-rimmed glasses, his hair neatly combed back. Despite his age, his upright posture spoke volumes about his character.

The man smiled at Vanessa.

“Ah, the guest has awakened. I’m Peres, the manager of this castle.”

“Hello, I’m Vanessa Rose.”

Now that I’ve greeted you, I’ll be on my way! Just as she was about to repeat this, Peres quickly continued.

“Dinner will be ready in less than 20 minutes, so please wait a moment. The castle’s chef has been excitedly preparing a meal to suit your tastes since dawn, so you simply must join us. The kitchen is in chaos.”

Peres, who had been glancing out the window, clapped his hands lightly.

“If you find the wait tedious, perhaps you’d enjoy a walk in the garden. Balder Castle’s hidden garden is renowned, even within the royal palace.”

Peres smiled, his eyes crinkling, and quickly departed.

Vanessa’s mouth hung open in disbelief. The people in this castle were remarkably skilled at hit-and-run tactics.

Vanessa turned to Gideon, ready to announce her departure.

If she explained that she was far too embarrassed to have breakfast with them, surely he would understand.

To barge into someone’s home in the early morning and then expect a meal – what could be more impolite?

But when she met his brilliantly colored eyes, her words froze in her throat. The warmth in those eyes might just be her imagination.

“…I, um.”

Only a stammer escaped her lips as her tongue seemed to swell. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

Gideon could sense what Vanessa was about to say. She was probably going to announce her departure.

But he couldn’t let her leave like this. He couldn’t let her retreat again. He had been regretting it for too long already.

Vanessa had given him a spark of hope when he was in despair last night. Gideon decided to bet everything on that hope.

“Vanessa.”

“Y-yes?”

Vanessa was startled by the sudden address, and Gideon’s eyes softened slightly.

“Peres is right. Balder Castle is famous for its hidden garden, which is larger and more beautiful than the formal gardens. I’d like to show it to you.”

While Vanessa hesitated, Gideon had already risen and extended his hand. His gaze was direct and unwavering.

A walk. I need to get out of here quickly.

Even as she repeated the mantra in her mind, Vanessa found it impossible to ignore his outstretched hand.

It was a clear summer day with a bright blue sky. Though not yet noon, the sunlight poured down, the shimmering rays dazzling.

As Peres had said, the hidden garden behind the castle was surprisingly beautiful.

How could they conceal such a large garden in the back?

Instead of the large, showy flowers that other estates painstakingly cultivated, this garden featured mostly simple wildflowers and blossoms that grew naturally on trees. The trees, too, were allowed to maintain their natural shapes, without gardeners trimming them into artificial forms.

This must have all been planted according to a plan, but how could it feel so harmonious, as if nature had simply been transplanted here?

Vanessa tried hard to focus on evaluating the garden. Otherwise, she felt she would be overwhelmed by tension.

Gideon, who had suggested the walk, was unusually quiet today, though he wasn’t generally talkative.

Following Gideon’s lead, Vanessa wandered through the beautiful garden, desperately searching for any lingering traces of the previous night in her memory.

What exactly had been a dream, and what had been reality?

Had Gideon really held her and taken her to her room? Had they had a conversation? Had anything else happened?

Vanessa swallowed hard, battling the chaotic afterimages of the night.

“Vanessa.”

“Yes?”

He must be bewildered by how startled she was every time he spoke.

“I asked yesterday, but I didn’t get an answer. Do you have a headache?”

Vanessa felt a wave of self-reproach at the question, delivered with a gentle smile. I’ll never drink again.

“…Fortunately, I don’t have a headache. I’m well enough to work overtime right away.”

Gideon smiled again at her gloomy reply.

“That’s a relief. How do you like the garden?”

“It’s a very beautiful place. That tree is especially impressive.”

At the end of the path they were walking was an incredibly huge tree. Behind it lay a small forest. Under the filtered sunlight, the dense leaves swayed gently.

“It’s been here since this castle was built.”

“Wow.”

The two walked to the end of the road and stood beneath the tree. The large tree, bearing the weight of its many years, offered generous shade.

Gideon stood silently and straight. Vanessa leaned against the trunk and looked out at the garden again.

It possessed a different charm when viewed from the shade. Under the intense sunlight, the flowers looked like pointillist paintings against a blue backdrop.

“The weather is really nice.”

There was nothing better than the weather as a topic when conversation faltered or things became awkward. The weather.

Vanessa had said it so casually, but an answer didn’t come immediately. Only the sound of leaves rustling in the breeze could be heard; it was quiet under the tree.

Silence stretched, feeling like an eternity, and finally, Gideon spoke slowly.

“I find this kind of weather very difficult.”

Vanessa blinked in bewilderment. There was no obvious reason why this kind of weather would be difficult.

But the answer came before she could even voice the question.

“Because under this sunlight, I remember spending the summer with you in Nimrod [likely a place of significance to them].”

Vanessa forgot to breathe for a moment.

The small boat on the pond and the pure white streaks of light falling between the leaves. The summer day when it drizzled.

She still vividly remembered how enjoyable that summer had been.

A low voice continued.

“On days when the wind is sharp enough to cut the skin, I remember the days when we walked together in Pyidom [another place of significance].”

Vanessa raised her eyes. He was staring into the distance.

“On humid days, I remember the cave we were in together.”

His voice sounded pained, as if he were forcing the words out.

“I’m finding you in all kinds of weather, so I don’t know what to do.”

Gideon fell silent again. He raised a large hand and stroked his own cheek. Vanessa clearly saw the tremor in his fingertips.

She bit her lip tightly. It might have been her imagination.

But it was no different for her. There were times when she found him in everything.

The rippling water in the bathtub, the lightning flashing across the gloomy sky. Neat black writing, ice cream and berry jam in a glass bowl.

She was in pain because she couldn’t escape these trivial reminders.

She always had to lower her expectations. Otherwise, she would get hurt.

That was what she had learned from countless experiences. It hurt less to assume the worst and act accordingly.

So she had run away, avoiding the issue. She had assumed it wouldn’t work out, because she didn’t want to be rejected or abandoned again.

But why, then, did he think of her on good days, bad days, and windy days? Why had every day become painful?

A small hope, buried deep within the part of herself she had been trying to ignore, began to flicker. Maybe.

If that were the case, then everything now depended solely on her choice.

She could either fully open the half-open box or close it again.

But now, she wanted to stop regretting and move forward. She decided to face whatever answer awaited her.