The Way To Protect The Female Lead’S Older Brother [EN]: Chapter 243

When she checked outside and returned to the room, the boy was sitting by the window, gazing out through the clear glass.

Roxana paused at the doorway, watching him quietly for a moment.

Then, she walked over to him, knelt, and sat in front of him.

“The sunlight feels warm, doesn’t it?”

The hem of her skirt, appearing even whiter in the sunlight, spread out on the floor like magnolia petals.

It seemed almost too casual an attitude for someone interacting with a mere toy, and uncharacteristic behavior for an owner.

But Roxana nonchalantly sat on the floor and examined the boy’s hands, which were resting on the chair.

Again, the tips of his fingers were stained with blood.

Roxana now understood these marks. Even in her presence, the boy often compulsively moved his hands as if trying to tear off the restraints binding his wrists and ankles.

So, Roxana always released his restraints when he was with her.

“No one outside was talking about you today either. I ran into Fontain on the way to the training room earlier, and he looked so grim, like he’d swallowed a bug, that he avoided me.”

Roxana had learned from the Fontain incident that the boy’s tendons, which she thought had been completely severed, were not as damaged as she’d believed.

Nevertheless, Roxana freed him without hesitation, and the boy, as always, didn’t move from his spot even unbound, only quietly looking down at her.

“Seeing them belatedly controlling the servants’ gossip, it seems they were worried that what happened that day would reach Father’s ears.”

Although still subtle, the boy reacted to Roxana’s words and actions more often than before.

It was as if one of the thick walls enclosing him had cracked.

“Anyway, with his personality, I don’t think he’ll bother you or me any further, so I’m relieved.”

The sight of the boy and girl sitting by the window, bathed in dazzling sunlight and meeting each other’s eyes, looked so pure and beautiful that it felt almost sacred.

“I just wish everyone would forget about you as you are…”

Roxana murmured softly, resting her face on the boy’s leg.

Her long golden hair flowed down like sweet honey.

The hands of the two people, which had only been touching slightly at the fingertips, connected more closely, and Roxana’s forehead rested on the back of the boy’s hand placed on his leg.

Her face was slightly flushed and feverish.

Perhaps sensing this, the boy’s hand twitched.

Since the end of the monthly evaluation, Roxana had been feeling unwell, perhaps from relaxing.

Especially after the incident with Fontain, her condition worsened.

“Your hand is cool today. It was warm other times.”

Roxana turned her head and looked up at him, burying half of her face in his hand. Perhaps because of the fever, her voice was slower and more languid than usual when she spoke to herself.

Then, her ruby eyes, facing the boy, curved slightly, forming a sweet smile.

“It feels good because it’s cool…”

In that instant, the boy’s eyes, slightly obscured by his hair, narrowed subtly.

Within the cloudy eyes that were looking down at the girl resting her face on his leg, a radiance flickered that hadn’t been seen before.

The fingertips that Roxana wasn’t holding moved slightly with force.

As if hesitating whether to shake her off or hold her… just a little.

But Roxana, her senses dulled more than usual, didn’t notice.

After a while, the strength in his bloodstained fingers relaxed again.

The strange air that had been floating there disappeared without a trace.

From that day on, Roxana suffered from a fever.

She often lost consciousness, and her body felt heavier and heavier, like cotton soaked in water. But she didn’t show it.

However, during her free time, she would often lie sprawled out anywhere in her room, closing her eyes in a state where it was unclear whether she was sleeping or had collapsed.

Occasionally, when she lifted her heavy eyelids, the boy was there.

Sometimes her vision was so blurry that she couldn’t tell what kind of face he was looking down at her with.

Sometimes she was confused as to whether the figure in front of her was real or just a hallucination.

Once, when she opened her eyes, the boy’s hand was gripping Roxana’s neck.

The silent golden eyes, which seemed to be contemplating something, and the hazily wet red eyes intertwined.

A shallow pulse beat within the large, scarred hand.

Roxana looked at the boy and smiled faintly. Then, she closed her eyes again, still defenseless.

As if she didn’t understand what was happening. Or as if she was allowing him to do whatever he wanted.

A hesitation that seemed to have not yet found its direction briefly lingered in the hand tightening around Roxana’s neck, but soon a force was applied.

The pulse transmitted from the closely touching skin became even clearer.

Conversely, the conflicting vibrations emanating from the large, strong hand that could easily break the girl’s slender neck grew stronger.

Then, after a while, as if a nightmare was pushed away by the dawn, the hand gripping Roxana’s neck released.

Whether this was also a dream or not, Roxana couldn’t tell.

The darkness that followed was rather long.

Then, when she opened her eyes again, it was night.

Roxana was crying, barely escaping from the terrible nightmare that always tormented her.

Perhaps because her eyelids were also hot from the fever, tears flowed incessantly, wetting her face.

Since some time ago, the hand slowly stroking her aching eyes felt like a dream.

The touch that was moving carefully, as if about to touch but not quite, with a slightly clumsy and dry feeling, seemed to caress even the scars in her heart.

She couldn’t imagine that the hand that had strangled Roxana’s neck was now wiping away her tears. She had that much shame.

Instead, Roxana knew another hand with a similar warmth.

“I’m sorry, Emily…”

A sob-filled voice escaped her rain-streaked breaths.

“When you came to me… I shouldn’t have just accepted you.”

There were countless things she bitterly regretted, but the most recent loss was especially unbearable.

“I should have just sent you back, saying I didn’t need someone like you.”

She kept dwelling on the past, thinking and thinking.

But…

In fact, even if she went back to that time dozens or hundreds of times, she wouldn’t have been able to do that.

There was no way she could have rejected the only person in this Agrische [referring to her family or household], besides her mother, who needed Roxana and who chose to be by her side without any ulterior motives.

“Then at least I should have pretended not to remember…”

If she had no choice but to keep her by her side, she should have at least not been so happy and shared her heart with her.

While living together, she shouldn’t have shown all her weak sides and relied on her, but kept a proper distance…

“So that you could leave my side at any time… So that at least you wouldn’t have to die for me, that’s what I should have done…”

That day too, she shouldn’t have shown tears like that in front of her.

No matter what dirty tricks that disgusting human that Rant sent as a new instructor did with her lifeline, she should have endured it alone.

“I’m sorry, Miss. I wanted to stay by your side a little longer.”

In her nightmare, Emily, covered in the instructor’s blood, smiled as she gently stroked Roxana’s blank cheek.

The voice whispered softly in her ear pierced her heart painfully.

“But it’s okay even without me now… You just don’t know it yourself yet, but you’re actually a strong person.”

So she could overcome it alone even without her, leaving behind such sad words, Emily disappeared forever.

An unbearable loneliness washed over the empty space.

Another warmth was caught in the fingertips she stirred to escape from it.

Cassis Pedelian.

Perhaps the boy who unintentionally contributed to her breaking down like this.

“You, can’t leave…”

So this time, she thought she would protect him.

But no… No. Actually, it wasn’t for such altruistic reasons.

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

It’s too lonely.

I feel like I’m going to die like this.

So don’t leave.

Don’t go anywhere and live by my side for me. Please.

The words she actually wanted to say were so selfish.

She held onto the hem of his clothes as if it were the last lifeline.

Only then did she find peace.

The warmth that had been clumsily wiping away Roxana’s tears fell on her hand holding the hem of his clothes.

Force was applied to the hand that covered Roxana’s hand, as if trying to tear it away.

But no further action followed, and only futile time passed.

The seamless, warm feeling formed a lump in her chest.

It was a long night where emotions, tangled like stars in the sky, collided and shattered into a mess.

Roxana suffered from a fever until the afternoon of the next day.

Still, after that amount of time, her mind became clear as if the night of suffering had been a dream.

When she opened her eyes again, the first thing that came into her sight was the boy.

He was holding onto Roxana’s clothes and sleeping next to her as if he had fallen asleep.

Perhaps she had forgotten before losing consciousness, but there were no chains or restraints binding him.

Roxana stared at the sleeping boy for a long time.

She retraced the events of the night before, but the boundary between dream and reality was still unclear.

Knock knock.

“Miss Roxana, are you awake?”

The servant’s voice from outside the door called her.

Roxana released the crumpled hem of his clothes.

She hesitated before getting out of bed, but in the end, she left without tying up the boy.

* * *

After that, Roxana left the boy free even when she left the room.

Still, he was always in the same place whenever she returned.

That fact gave Roxana a quite addictive sense of relief and joy.

“Then I’ll be back.”

Today, too, she didn’t restrain the boy and lightly kissed his cheek in greeting.

Then, when she raised her head, she felt like her hair was being pulled slightly.

Roxana’s gaze fell downwards.

The ends of her golden hair were caught slightly between his fingers, as if entangled.

“Don’t want me to go out?”

She asked, feeling happy at his reaction, which had begun to show little by little.

The deep eyes, which seemed to contain countless untold stories, quietly watched her.

Then soon, the strength in his fingers loosened.

Was he worried about her going out because of what happened a while ago? Or did he want to be with her a little longer?

Either way, she thought it was all for her own good, but what did it matter?

“It’s okay. I’ll be back soon.”

Roxana smiled and hugged the boy tightly before leaving the room.

She was able to spend the day in a happier mood than usual.

And when she returned after finishing her work around evening, the room was empty, as if to mock Roxana.