There Is No Sejong In My Joseon [EN]: Chapter 65

I scratched my head, watching my great-uncle fly into a rage.

“Am I not allowed to come here, or something?”

I came on business.

As I retorted, Yi Bang-gwa pointed and shouted.

“You’re not even… of age (15 years old)… yet…”

“Ugh.”

So, it’s okay for you to come here at fifty?

As the epitome of 꼰대 (Kkondae, a term for an older person who is condescending or out of touch), our King Emeritus was about to launch into a lengthy lecture, forgetting where he was, so I quickly changed the subject.

“So, what’s got you raising your voice in front of your inferiors?”

It’s hardly something befitting the King Emeritus.

Yi Bang-gwa cleared his throat.

Is he saying he can’t say it himself?

Then, the bodyguard behind him quickly stepped forward.

“Our King Emeritus enjoys Cho Gung-jang’s singing and often calls for her, but today he was told there was already a guest, and he became enraged.”

“So, does that woman have to keep her schedule open every time he comes?”

Cho Gung-jang is a popular gisaeng [female entertainer] in Gaeseong, so her schedule is probably packed.

Still, you can’t refuse the orders of someone like the King Emeritus, so she must have been putting everything else aside and prioritizing his events.

Today, the opponent is me, the Crown Prince, so even the King Emeritus couldn’t get his way.

“So… you’re saying… you won’t listen… to your great-uncle…!”

Hmm, a battle between the powerless King Emeritus and the powerful Crown Prince.

The gossips in the capital would be thrilled if this big match happened, but I don’t particularly want it.

What would I gain from crushing my great-uncle’s pride here?

‘If it were the original Grand Prince Yangnyeong, maybe.’

That guy would be so captivated by Cho Gung-jang’s beauty that he’d throw a fit and refuse to back down.

“Well, I don’t mind if you take her.”

I said nonchalantly.

Those watching from the side collectively sighed in relief.

A 병림픽 (Byeong-림픽, literally ‘moron Olympics,’ a competition where everyone loses) where an uncle and nephew fight over a woman.

These people definitely didn’t want to see that kind of showdown.

Yi Bang-gwa’s face brightened rapidly at my answer.

But I wasn’t finished yet.

“But are you really just going to take her and make her sing?”

Yi Bang-gwa froze, as if stung by the truth.

‘He’s not some idol 삼촌팬 (samchon fan, a middle-aged male fan of a young female celebrity), there’s no way that’s all he wants.’

Yi Bang-gwa, who has lived his whole life as a warrior, is calling a gisaeng just to listen to songs?

“Of, of course!”
Yi Bang-gwa shouted, but no one believed him.

“Is that true?”

I asked Hwang-hee quietly, and he shook his head as if he couldn’t believe it either.

“There’s no way. If it’s just about singing, there are many 가기 (gagi, singing girls) who are several levels above Cho Gung-jang. If it’s not for her beauty, there’s no particular reason…”

‘So, the high-ranking member of the royal family who’s trying to get Cho Gung-jang as a concubine is our great-uncle.’

Thank goodness it’s not Yi Bang-won.

If it were, one more person would have been added to the palace’s 암투 로맨스 (amtu romance, power struggle romance).

‘And here I thought my great-uncle was all dignified and stern.’

Cho Gung-jang was a famous gisaeng in Gaeseong, and she was beautiful in my eyes too, so I understood why men were so eager.

But my great-uncle, who always bragged about his loving marriage with the Queen Consort in front of me, came to find a new woman.

‘Well, it’s normal in this era, but…’

Even so, there are limits.

Even though my great-aunt couldn’t have a son, he’s seen plenty of 서자 (seoja, children born out of wedlock) in the meantime, right?

He’s had so many children that it’s astonishing, and now he’s looking for Cho Gung-jang.

Is it a family trait for the men in our family to lose their composure in front of women?

“Ahem!”

Yi Bang-gwa cleared his throat again.

The Naegun (Royal Guard) next to him began to tense up.

“What… business is it of yours…! Stop talking nonsense and bring Cho Gung-jang here!”

Yi Bang-gwa, so impatient from my questioning, was spitting out words like a machine gun, unlike his usual self.

At the King Emeritus’s unreasonable demand, Cho Gung-jang smiled bitterly, as if she couldn’t help it, and stood up.

“Ah, ah…”

The officials made sounds of regret and reached out to Cho Gung-jang as she left, but couldn’t bring themselves to grab her.

“Then, Crown Prince, I’ll be on my way.”

Cho Gung-jang passed in front of me, flashing a smile.

Seeing that, even I, whose body is still that of a child, felt my heart flutter for a moment.

‘She’s a real 불여우 (bulyeou, femme fatale).’

No wonder men are so captivated.

I shook my head.

Then, I smacked the hand of the child next to me, who was reaching into the donut and twisted bread 봉투 (bongtu, bag), grabbed a few, and handed them to Cho Gung-jang.

“What is this?”

“It’s a food I made recently. Share it with the King Emeritus.”

King Emeritus Yi Bang-gwa and Cho Gung-jang, the best gisaeng in Gaeseong.

I should have these people, who have tasted all the good things in life, try it out.

“Oh my, you shouldn’t have. I’ll enjoy it, Crown Prince.”

She flashed another smile, but I waved my hand.

Somehow, I’m a bit uncomfortable with women like this.

It’s like they’re too aware of their own beauty.

“Phew. Finally, it’s quiet.”

Only after the King Emeritus’s group and Cho Gung-jang went to another room could I finally breathe a sigh of relief.

Hwang-hee was openly disappointed, but he quickly snapped out of it when I glared at him.

‘Did you come here to play?’

We have to do business, business.

I put out the remaining donuts and twisted bread and had the owners try them.

The amount was less than initially planned because I had been giving them out here and there, but it’s just for a taste, so whatever.

“Amazing!”

“It wouldn’t be out of place on the 수라상 (surasang, royal table) right away!”

‘People who have never even received a 수라상 (surasang, royal table).’

Of course, praise poured out.

It was a 기루 (gilo, house of courtesans) where expensive snacks like Gaeseong Juak were not uncommon, but they said it was much more delicious than that.

“Since it’s a food that could even go on the 수라상 (surasang, royal table), it would be even more popular if you sold it here at the 기루 (gilo, house of courtesans), wouldn’t it?”

“Th, that means?”

When I brought up an unusual story, the 루주 (luju, head of the house of courtesans) rolled their eyes.

“I’ll send someone who knows the 제법 (jebeop, method) to each 기루 (gilo, house of courtesans), so give me a kitchen. You can put it on the guests’ 술상 (sulsang, table with alcohol), right?”

“Are you saying that the people the Crown Prince sends will operate it directly?”

“What’s the problem?”

I said it like this, but from the 기루 (gilo, house of courtesans)’s point of view, only one menu would be added, and even if they gave up a corner of the kitchen, they wouldn’t get anything in return, so it was understandable that the 루주 (luju, head of the house of courtesans)’s expressions were subtle.

‘Still, how can they be so clueless?’

“Listen. What if there were 산해진미 (sanhaejinmi, delicacies) that you could only taste here? Wouldn’t people come running even if they put aside the beauty of the 기생 (gisaeng, courtesans)?”

“Th, that’s right.”

“Then, when you want to eat this donut and twisted bread, where will you go?”

“Here… would you come?”

Then isn’t the answer already out?

I asked the 루주 (luju, head of the house of courtesans).

“While you’re coming, you’ll eat other 안주 (anju, side dishes) and call 기생 (gisaeng, courtesans) and enjoy yourself. Isn’t that right?”

The people who come here are usually people who have so much money that they don’t know what to do with it, no matter how much they receive.

In other words, if there’s something delicious, they’re people with good fortune who will run a thousand miles, so it meant that they would also increase the 기루 (gilo, house of courtesans)’s sales.

If those rich people enjoy 식도락 (sikdorak, gourmet dining) and go, wouldn’t sales grow explosively?

When I said this, the 루주 (luju, head of the house of courtesans) nodded.

‘Still, they would normally try to negotiate for rent.’

If that doesn’t work, they’ll mobilize their 기둥서방 (gidungseobang, pimp) and use coercion.

No, before that, they might try to figure out the 제법 (jebeop, method) and do business themselves.

It’s the end of the Goryeo Dynasty and the beginning of the Joseon Dynasty. The era of 상남자 (sangnamja, real men).

It was a place overflowing with people who regarded their own lives as flies for the sake of immediate gain.

But I have power, don’t I?

‘If I drag them all to the Uigeumbu (the Joseon Dynasty’s special police force) and have them spend time reflecting while facing the wall, they won’t be able to say such things.’

But I’m a nice person, so I didn’t particularly mention that point.

Because even if I don’t say it, these people all know it.

“Also, when a new menu, no, a new food comes out, it will be prioritized for this 기루 (gilo, house of courtesans), so that alone will become a hot topic.”

Things like chicken might not be snacks, but might even take the status of a main menu.

The 루주 (luju, head of the house of courtesans) quietly lowered their heads.

“The Crown Prince’s words are correct.”

“We were short-sighted. We will actively cooperate.”

Power is originally used for the taste of abuse.

캬 (Kya, exclamation), that’s why power is good.

It was a condition that benefited each other, so there was nothing to feel guilty about.

It was then.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Get out of the way, there’s no time!”

– Thud!

I heard a commotion outside, and someone burst in, opening the door.

It was the King Emeritus’s bodyguard I saw earlier.

My guards who were standing guard outside grabbed his arm, but I told them to let him go for now.

His expression was too pale to have come in to do something foolish.

I asked with an ominous feeling.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your Highness, something terrible has happened!”

So, what terrible thing.

===

“Heeya, this… smells good.”

Yi Bang-gwa, with Cho Gung-jang by his side, was fiddling with the snacks his nephew had given him.

The 초계 (chogye, chilled chicken soup) he had tasted before was truly the taste of paradise.

Since it was a snack made by that Crown Prince, Yi Bang-gwa’s expectations could not help but rise.

The smell was a pass, for now.

When he couldn’t stand it any longer and was about to reach for the twisted bread, Cho Gung-jang grabbed it and brought it to her mouth.

Even though it was Cho Gung-jang, it was a rude act, so when Yi Bang-gwa’s mood became uncomfortable, Cho Gung-jang said while chewing on the twisted bread.

“Ait, Your Majesty. Say ah~.”

“Huh? Hehe. Th, that’s right…!”

Yi Bang-gwa realized what Cho Gung-jang was trying to do now.

As Yi Bang-gwa opened his mouth wide as Cho Gung-jang said, Cho Gung-jang brought the twisted bread in her mouth to his mouth.

“Ehehe.”

Because his mouth was full of twisted bread, the people around him couldn’t understand what he was saying, but it was probably something like, ‘This 요오망 (yoomang, bewitching) child!’

Yi Bang-gwa hurriedly began to eat the twisted bread placed between the two people’s mouths.

Yi Bang-gwa’s eyes widened as he tasted the chewy twisted bread.

‘It’s a taste that you wouldn’t know if one of you died while eating it!’

But did the words, no, the thoughts become seeds?

Or was it because he was eating quickly to achieve his goal that it became a disaster?

– Gulp

“Keck, cough, keck!”

“Oh my?”

Yi Bang-gwa’s face turned red as he swallowed the twisted bread wrong.

===

“Huh?”

When I rushed to the next room, I saw Yi Bang-gwa, his face red, patting his chest.

“Your Majesty!”

“King Emeritus!”

Why is he like that?

Did the twisted bread bounce up from his stomach because it was too chewy?

‘Rather than that.’

Among the symptoms of aging, there is a phenomenon in which the 침샘 (chamsaem, salivary glands) shrink and the tongue dries.

It could be reasonably inferred that his airway was blocked because he swallowed a large lump without properly melting it with 침 (chim, saliva) and chewing it properly.

“Doctor, what is the doctor doing?”

I shouted, hoping that the royal physician had accompanied the King Emeritus when he came here, but I had to withdraw that thought.

“I, I am doing my best!”

The royal physician was so flustered that he was just rubbing his wrist or stroking his back.

No matter what he did, the condition would only get worse.

“Everyone, get out of the way!”

Unable to watch any longer, I pushed aside the royal physician who was trying to take out the 침통 (chimtong, acupuncture kit) and approached the fallen Yi Bang-gwa.

“Support me a little!”

I stood Yi Bang-gwa up, but because of the difference in weight, there was a high probability that I would fall while performing first aid.

Then the bodyguards grabbed me tightly.

I wrapped my arms around Yi Bang-gwa’s back and pressed hard.

‘The location is between the solar plexus and the navel!’

After barely adjusting my posture, I pushed up the end of my great-uncle’s solar plexus with my clenched fist.

“Cough, kuok!”

Everyone seemed to want to say something about my bizarre appearance of strangling my great-uncle’s back, but fortunately, they were not stopped because the person performing it was me, the Crown Prince.

‘I’m glad I trained while getting hit by Yi Seong-gye all this time.’

My arm strength has become very strong, so it was possible to support Yi Bang-gwa like this.

If that weren’t the case, the strength of 초딩 (choding, elementary school student) Grand Prince Yangnyeong would not have been enough.

My shoulders and arms were getting stiff, but I didn’t stop.

I can’t let the King Emeritus go to the other world like this, can I?

But the limit soon came.

‘Damn it, if I lose strength like this…’

I could have asked someone else to do it, but the golden time would have passed while they were getting used to the Heimlich maneuver.

I had to see it through.

My hair was soaked with sweat, but I had no time to pay attention to it.

‘Please!’

– Thud!

As if my earnest prayer had been answered, the twisted bread, mixed with stomach acid and turned into a lump, popped out of his mouth.

It fell right in front of Cho Gung-jang’s beautiful 버선 (beoseon, traditional Korean socks).

“Kyaa!”

Cho Gung-jang screamed and pulled her foot away.

Well, the visuals are a bit much, but my great-uncle will be hurt.

I just hope he didn’t hear it because he was out of his mind.

“Phew, take care of the cleanup.”

As soon as Yi Bang-gwa could breathe, I collapsed on the spot.

The royal physician hurriedly took Yi Bang-gwa and checked his blood.

“It seems like he’s passed the crisis.”

Thank goodness.

He was unconscious, but the doctor said he was just sleeping comfortably.

We took Yi Bang-gwa to his room and quietly slipped out.

‘Next time, I should mix a little more flour into the twisted bread.’

The high ratio of glutinous rice flour seems to be one of the causes.

Then the doctor looked at me and asked.

“Your, Your Highness, but how did you save the King Emeritus? It was an act that I have never seen before.”

Ah, you don’t know?

This is called 『하임리히법(Haimlihi Beop, Heimlich maneuver)』.

“It’s a new skill I developed myself. It can save people who have food stuck in their throats and are suffocating.”

“Your Highness, yourself?”

“That’s right.”

The doctor’s eyes widened.

Then he suddenly prostrated himself in front of me.

“Crown Prince!”

“?”

“Can you teach me that 신공 (singong, divine skill) too?”

Well, everything is good, but.

That’s where my great-uncle’s vomit is.

End

ⓒ 핏콩