Magic Is Learned For Nothing [EN]: Chapter 25

Magic Learned in Vain – 25

# 25

“Welcome! Is this your first time in the human world?”

The mansion was noisy from morning. Legion couldn’t move, lying in bed, his eyes hollow. Dark circles seemed to engulf his entire face, and he had surprisingly lost a lot of weight, his cheekbones now sunken. Perhaps due to the rapid weight loss, his skin felt rough.

Legion didn’t have the strength to lift a finger.

The level of the passive skill ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ had increased significantly. Ironically, the higher the level of that skill, the more he had to poop.

He had tasted hell last night.

He couldn’t sleep a wink.

He went to the bathroom every hour. Even this message popped up in his retina:

-You have become the person with the cleanest body for the first time in the human world. Legion’s body utilization is 100 percent. You don’t have to worry about diabetes, high blood pressure, or hyperlipidemia [high cholesterol] for the time being.

He didn’t know what diabetes, high blood pressure, or hyperlipidemia were.

But he knew this much: if he continued like this, he wouldn’t live to his natural lifespan.

He barely survived coming out of the bathroom, his legs staggering. To survive, he had to end things with the ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ passive skill.

If a skill upgrade appeared that said he had to poop every 10 minutes, he would rather die. Even now, his butthole couldn’t handle it. It was all raw, and it hurt so much that he couldn’t wipe with toilet paper. It felt tattered.

So, he ate all the remaining alkaline metals.

-‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ passive skill has leveled up. The large and small intestines are activated. You can now clump and store stool.

What is this supposed to mean?

-You can poop once a week whenever you feel like it.

Really? Really, really, really.

Legion cheered.

-Legion’s overall combat power is low. The ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ passive skill will no longer level up. If you want to level up, increase your overall combat power.

No. That’s enough now.

There would be no more days of leveling up this passive skill.

Being able to poop once a week, at the time and place of his choosing, was a blessing from heaven.

But he had suffered so much yesterday. He really didn’t want to move a single finger.

Knock knock knock-

Someone knocked on the door from morning.

He wanted to rest. It was the first time he was so exhausted from pooping.

-Lord, it’s me, Silkeot. I think you need to come out for a moment.

“Okay. I’ll be out.”

Legion replied weakly.

The people in the mansion were too energetic. Everyone started their activities at 5 a.m., before dawn. Well, people living in the cold territory were generally diligent, because if they weren’t, they would starve to death.

Still, tell them to be lazy sometimes. Don’t wake him up like this from morning.

Getting out of bed, Legion staggered.

He slowly walked towards the door. While walking, he suddenly looked in the mirror. Oh? A handsome man was standing there.

The ‘Go Away, Helicobacter Pylori’ passive skill was said to have expelled all the waste from his body.

He never thought it would expel even the fat.

He knew why his body was so weak. 50 kilograms were all excreted as waste.

Wow!

Jihwaja! Play the music!

He lost 100 kilograms in the last few days. He guaranteed that if there was anyone who lost weight as quickly and swiftly as he did, tell them to come out.

-Need to raise intelligence by 10 more. That’s how you can regain your former intelligence.

Mark said.

Damn it, that guy always ruins the mood. Can’t he let him enjoy even a moment of happiness?

-There’s a saying that hell begins after happiness ends. I think it’s important to realize the reality quickly. Still, cheer up. How about gaining 100 kilograms all at once this time? I think losing it all in one go isn’t bad either.

Gain 100 kilograms?

-Yes. Of course, there are disadvantages. There is a risk of dislocating the knee bone, spine, and neck bone. Cherish your spine. There’s no solution if you get a herniated disc.

What’s a herniated disc?

-A disease where the spine is misaligned.

Can’t they fix it even in the future world?

-They have to shave off the bone. Once it’s twisted, you’ll suffer for the rest of your life.

Ah, scary. Shaving off the bone.

-So always be careful.

Okay. I’ll do as you say.

Legion nodded and opened the door. He was very tired, but he felt good thinking that he had lost a lot of weight. He couldn’t help but smile.

“Huh?”

Silkeot was surprised to see Legion. He rubbed his eyes. The lord in front of him had returned to his former appearance. He was definitely a pig until yesterday.

“Why the expression?”

“L, Lord, you’ve lost weight…”

“Lost a little, right?”

“It’s not a little. It’s completely cut in half.”

He had an expression that said, ‘Is this possible?’

Silkeot had been very happy lately, because the weak lord had changed very proactively. Nevertheless, he was anxious. The lord’s actions were too bizarre and impossible to predict.

Talking to himself was commonplace.

Suddenly, he went on a trip and came back with an ogre. He brought back the corpse of a minotaur. Suddenly, he repeatedly gained and lost weight.

His heart stopped and he floated in the water.

The old man has many worries. Are you okay? Lord.

“Yeah, I’ve been having a hard time lately. Don’t worry.”

“Even so… It’s strange for a person to lose so much weight in a day.”

“Should I go to the temple?”

“That’s what this old man wishes.”

“No. No. It’s just a waste of money. Those scammers. I should gather the herbalists in the territory and create a pharmacy. The potions at the temple are too expensive.”

It wasn’t just too expensive; it was so expensive that his mouth dropped open. Once the territory residents visited the temple, they had to give up a month’s income. Territory residents with many children couldn’t even visit the temple.

But if he set up a pharmacy, he could supply medicine at a price that was more than 1/10 cheaper than them.

Of course, the priests would strongly resist.

Well, then he would tell Sepia to go to the temple and pray for a week. Heh heh heh, who would go to the temple to pray?

Silkeot was startled by Legion’s laughter.

“L, Lord, I think you should go to the temple. Aren’t you rich now? Don’t think about the money and take care of your body first…”

“I know my body best. Don’t worry. But what’s going on from morning?”

“Ah, that’s true.”

“It’s okay. My heart has become very strong these days.”

“Viscount Julian has come to visit.”

“Why again?”

Ah, he had forgotten about his uncle. He expected that he would smell something and come to find him in some way. That’s today. Okay, let’s tell him honestly. Uncle, your son is married, he said. Kahahaha! For some reason, he felt so relieved.

“He says he wants to meet and talk.”

“Okay. I’ll be down soon.”

Legion smiled.

Silkeot had no idea why Legion was smiling. Viscount Julian’s expression was unusual.

It felt like a storm was about to hit.

* * *

“It’s been a while, Uncle.”

Legion came out of the mansion.

Viscount Julian did not enter the mansion and stayed outside. Viscount Julian’s eyes, looking at him, were filled with questions rather than hatred or murderous intent.

What the hell are you doing?

And those clothes.

The clothes Legion was wearing were quite expensive. It was also a dress that was not available in the territory. He could only get such clothes if he went to a big city. He could go to a big city. But it was strange that Legion bought such clothes.

He didn’t think he could buy it even if he emptied all the money in the mansion.

“These clothes are cool, right? It costs 10 gold.”

10 gold. It was not a big deal for Viscount Julian, but it was quite a lot of money for Legion.

Of course, Viscount Julian would never know that Legion had eaten thousands of gold to increase the amount of mana.

“I didn’t come here to see your clothes.”

“Then what did you come for? Ah, come in and have a cup of tea. Why are you standing outside in this cold weather?”

Legion did not stop smiling.

Viscount Julian, along with Paring, Paind, and Shalom, frowned at the same time.

Was Legion originally such a sly character?

“Wait a minute…”

Paring intervened.

“What?”

Legion narrowed his brows slightly.

He didn’t like that bastard. He didn’t like him from the beginning. He didn’t like the way he looked down on him, and he hated him even more after he made a fuss about killing him.

He should have been caught by the orcs. Well, he’ll sell it to another race. Yeah, lizardmen are good. Let’s see if he can withstand the crocodile’s courtship. But where can he find lizardmen?

“Where did you find that?”

Paring pointed to the frozen minotaur corpse.

If it was summer, he wouldn’t have left it like that. But in winter, it didn’t matter if he left it outside. It was completely frozen and would not melt until spring. Before that, he could sell it to a wizard from another territory. He cautiously predicted that he would receive at least 1,000 gold or more.

“I caught it while hunting.”

“Who?”

“Me.”

“You? Heh heh heh.”

Paring laughed at Legion’s words.

Paind and Shalom also laughed. We forgot that the lord was crazy, Legion heard them all.

Legion didn’t get angry. He didn’t want to get angry over such a thing.

“Quit if you don’t want to believe it.”

“Give that to us. It’s useless to you.”

Paring said.

Give it up? Not even sell it?

“I’ll give you 100 gold as a token of my sincerity. That should be enough to help the finances here, right?”

What, what kind of dog is this? A daylight robber [someone who steals in broad daylight].

“What nonsense are you talking about? 10,000 gold. I won’t go below that.”

Oh well, whatever.

Legion just blurted it out.

“1,000 gold?”

“Are your ears blocked? 10,000 gold.”

“T, Ten thousand gold?”

Paring, Viscount Julian, Knight Paind, and Shalom couldn’t close their mouths. Is the lord out of his mind? 10,000 gold? Even if he emptied all of Viscount Julian’s assets, it wouldn’t be that much. No, it’s not even half. But 10,000 gold for one minotaur corpse?

“You’re out of your mind.”

Paring snorted.

“Anyway, we’re taking that.”

He took out a 100 gold note from his pocket and threw it on the floor.

Wow, that rude bastard. Did he just throw the note at me? To pick it up?

This is a bit annoying.

Paring gestured to the soldiers who followed him. The soldiers acted without hesitation in the lord’s mansion. They brought a long rope and tied up the minotaur’s corpse.

No, it was just the moment they were about to tie it up.

The soldiers froze, looking like they had seen something they shouldn’t have. A huge shadow of darkness was cast over their heads.

It was definitely an ogre. An ogre he had only seen in the monster encyclopedia.

It was the first time they had actually seen an ogre.

The overwhelming sense of oppression beyond imagination made the soldiers’ limbs stiff.

“T, T, That’s an ogre.”

One of the soldiers said. He peed in his pants like a puppy seeing a tiger.

-Krrrrrr.

It was Sepia.

Sepia’s heavy body slowly approached the soldiers.

The soldiers were frozen like insects caught in a spider web. Sepia opened her huge mouth and put one of the soldiers in her mouth. The soldier could only scream in horror and couldn’t do anything. His whole body was frozen with fear, and he couldn’t even move a finger.

“Damn it, how dare a monster!”

Paind drew his sword and rushed at Sepia.

A blue haze rose from his sword. He was casting Blade [a magic spell that enhances a weapon].

Sepia snorted and grabbed the carriage with one hand and threw it.

Swaaaaaaek-

It was an incredible speed.

Surprised, Paind quickly rolled on the floor. The carriage brushed past him and crashed into the mansion.

Kwakwakwakwang!

The force of the throw was so strong that one part of the mansion completely collapsed.

“Oh my god!”

Legion grabbed his newly grown hair and screamed.