Godsent Top Star [EN]: Chapter 202

202. Interview with a Monster (2)

May 21, 2022

“I can… recognize my own kind…”

“Oh, really? Let’s say you had an unfortunate past. My past wasn’t exactly bright and happy either, so let’s say we’re similar. But so what?”

“So what? Can’t you feel it too? People like us grew up wonderfully even in such adverse conditions! I achieved a very noble goal of cleaning up this society, and you, with the profession of an actor…”

“Stop.”

It’s disgusting to listen to anymore.

Yeonwoo cut off the man’s words.

From earlier, he had been suppressing the rising disgust, and the man seemed to notice the eerie energy in Yeonwoo’s eyes, flinching and turning pale.

“Don’t attach ridiculous words like ‘cleaning.’ You’re just venting. How can releasing the pain you received on the weaker be considered cleaning?”

“Aren’t they just people who are of no help to society anyway? I’m sure you know how much homeless people threaten social security?”

The irony of a serial killer talking about society’s safety net.

“The elderly are the same. Do you know how quickly our country is becoming an aging society? The elderly are of no help. They only waste taxes and increase the burden on young people like us! I just eliminated unnecessary surplus manpower. Something no one else can do because they’re too busy watching what others think! I! Did it! Do you understand?!”

The prison guard standing at the entrance approached at the man’s frenzy.

Yeonwoo gestured with his eyes to stop him and tilted his head.

“Stop lumping us together? It makes the person listening feel dirty.”

“What I did was a very noble task.”

“That’s a very arrogant delusion. What you did isn’t a noble task, it’s just venting. You’re just venting what you couldn’t do in the past. A proper revenge? There’s no way.”

“You… why do you keep denying it when you’re the same kind as me?!”

“I’m not the same kind? Stop lumping us together. It makes the person listening feel dirty.”

Yeonwoo growled again.

The man, who had bloodshot eyes, flinched and backed away.

As a result, some of the residual thoughts clinging to the man’s malice scattered.

‘I’m going crazy with absurdity.’

What the hell is that murderer babbling about?

‘He killed so many people and accumulated karma [the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences], so he might have become sensitive to the yin energy [the passive, dark, and feminine principle of Chinese cosmology] while being exposed to it.’

So he might have been babbling about being ‘the same kind’ or whatever.

But what does it matter if the past was similarly unfortunate, rejected, and hurt?

The results are so different.

“You and I are the same kind. We are the same kind!”

“You’re wrong.”

Yeonwoo could never agree with the man’s words.

Revenge.

What a sweet word.

Didn’t Yeonwoo want to take revenge on those who bullied and ostracized him?

Didn’t he want to resist the pain?

‘At first, I didn’t understand. Why I had to endure even though I had the power.’

Yeonwoo had the power to repay those who had tormented him enough.

But he didn’t.

-The power you have is not for such things. It is a power to help others. If you harm others with your power, you will never be good again. Evil spirits will amplify your anger and try to control you. Revenge begets revenge. Resentment only breeds resentment. Remember that. Do you understand?

Because he was taught not to.

Because he was taught that he shouldn’t.

‘Why only me? Why do only I have to endure?’

There were many times when he felt wronged and hated it.

Of course, there were times when he didn’t understand why his mother taught him that way.

But Yeonwoo persevered. He endured. He held on.

He felt wronged, but he kept it in.

Revenge begets revenge.

If you fall into evil forces, you are likely to lose yourself.

Yeonwoo had seen such people.

He had seen sorcerers who were eaten by the spirits they controlled, or shamans who borrowed the power of evil spirits only to be torn to pieces.

‘Just enough not to be corrupted. Just enough not to be eaten instead?’

There were times when he arrogantly thought so with the recklessness of youth.

He thought that those who were eaten instead were incompetent.

Because they didn’t know their own limits and acted recklessly, they suffered the consequences.

But even while thinking so, Yeonwoo kept to the line.

Even when he felt wronged, upset, or hurt.

‘I mustn’t lose myself by being swayed by revenge.’

Yeonwoo did not use the power that could easily solve things.

Because he had been taught that it was the right path.

And now.

‘……This is the result of the path I didn’t take.’

It felt like he was seeing the result at the end of the path he hadn’t walked.

The result of being buried in his own unhappiness, antagonizing and hating everyone, was right in front of him.

In the worst possible form that could appear.

‘I think I know why I was drawn to this synopsis.’

Finally, Yeonwoo realized why he was in this position.

Why he was so strongly drawn to this character of a serial killer.

He could realize the reason.

‘A maladjusted person who was almost isolated from society. That character reflected me.’

His past self.

He could feel it while conducting this absurd interview.

Of course, he didn’t feel perfect homogeneity.

He was neither a serial killer nor was he ever interested in becoming a criminal.

But.

‘I wondered why it touched a nerve……’

It seemed that the fact that he couldn’t adapt to society subtly touched a corner of his mind.

Because it was a very familiar situation and story to Yeonwoo as well.

However.

What is the result?

Yeonwoo looked at the other person with cold eyes.

‘Disgusting.’

That was the first thought that came to his mind.

It was natural.

The man in front of him was embracing all kinds of malice and resentment, looking like a black storm cloud.

The black malice surrounding the man was nothing more than a result of the man’s own making.

Moreover, what about that man’s way of thinking?

‘Disgusting and pathetic.’

While pretending to be arrogant, he is pathetically rationalizing himself.

At first, it might have been a kind of self-defense.

Because no one is okay after being hurt.

But what is the result of that self-rationalization?

“Why, why are you looking at me like that? You shouldn’t be like that! You!”

Yes.

The beginning might have been similar to that man.

There was a reason why that man and Yeonwoo himself could not mix with other people.

However.

“Why should I? You and I are never the same.”

In the end, the destination is the opposite.

One person committed numerous crimes and was judged by the law.

And Yeonwoo himself is…

“Seeing you makes it clear. That I was not wrong.”

Strangely, he felt a sense of relief that did not fit the situation.

If you think about it, it was a very heterogeneous situation.

In front of him is a murderer who killed dozens of people.

Moreover, that murderer was spouting very strange crazy things that he was right.

He even made remarks that lumped Yeonwoo and himself together.

Even now, he is struggling to refute Yeonwoo’s words.

Yet, in this situation, Yeonwoo could feel a strange sensation.

Perhaps, if he had to put a name to this feeling, it would be this.

Relief.

Or confidence.

There were many opportunities to go astray.

Whether it’s self-defense or whatever.

Whatever name you put on it.

But he didn’t.

Even if the beginning is similar, the results are so different.

Seeing the results right in front of him makes the fact that they are clearly different even more certain.

Yeonwoo seemed to be receiving all the rewards at once.

‘I was not wrong.’

A life where he had not belonged anywhere for a long time.

The proof that his past self, who was not swept away by the sense of loss and deprivation of not belonging, was right, was right in front of him.

Seeing the results with his own eyes, something began to change.

The wind that had been blowing coldly deep in his chest, which had been empty, slowly stopped.

The gap that had been hollowly split is gradually filled.

‘I’m glad I took this role after all.’

Like a tower built on sand, everything might have collapsed at some point.

Because he hadn’t even recognized that these wounds remained.

The pus might have continued to fester and fester and fester in that deep place without him knowing, and then burst at any time.

The act of suspecting and feeling awkward about the constant stream of goodwill would have continued.

If his intuition had not pointed to this role, he would never have noticed.

‘That’s why I couldn’t help but be drawn to this role.’

If he had not chosen this role, he would not have been able to properly confirm that his choice to endure for a long time was right.

He would not have noticed the old wounds that he did not even know existed.

He did not know that he would receive a valuable reward that could not be compared to overseas expansion or the main character’s position.

A very large reward called self-assurance.

“What are you talking about? What’s not wrong? Hey. Let’s not deny it. Let’s be honest. Huh? You and I are the same kind. I can recognize it. You wanted to show off in the end! By becoming an actor!”

The calm and ordinary atmosphere of the beginning could no longer be found in the man.

The man, with bloodshot eyes, spitting as he leaned forward, was no different from a madman.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What did you do so well that you keep talking?”

Yeonwoo, with eyes that had become even more solid, leaned towards the other person.

“If you really thought it was noble, you shouldn’t have done such a thing in the first place.”

A subtle word.

[Okay! I’ll take care of that side!]

At Yeonwoo’s gesture, the quick-witted child spirit quickly flew to one side.

It was the side with the camera monitoring the inside of the interview room.

[Shall I use some power for the first time in a while!]

The small body wearing colorful clothes stuck to the camera.

Even though it looks like that, it is a ghost that has been around for decades.

It won’t be able to do anything big, but it will be able to make some noise.

“You cleaned up the trash of society for the sake of humanity?”

“Yes. What I did was for this society…”

“Then why did you kill that child?”

“……!”

The man’s shoulders twitched as if he was very surprised.

“What are you talking about. I have never killed a child…”

“You have. Several times.”

The man, who had been leaning close to the partition, quickly backed away.

“What are you talking about? Is this guy crazy? Why. Does it seem like you can just attach anything to a serial killer?”

The man bluffed.

He even let out a ridiculous laugh as if he had heard something really absurd.

“I don’t know where you heard such a thing, but it’s very unpleasant.”

If someone who didn’t know anything saw it, they might have really felt that the man was innocent.

That’s how calm and collected the man was, except for the initial agitation.

I think I read it somewhere.

Psychopaths lie like they eat, and they do it very skillfully.

“I can’t do the interview anymore because I’m upset. Really, it’s absurd, it’s absurd.”

The man showed signs of getting up.

But Yeonwoo had no intention of letting the man go.

“A little taller than my waist, wearing blue jean shorts and an orange shirt. He wore a ball cap, and the color was colorful like a rainbow.”

The man, who was about to get up, froze in that position.

The eyes looking at Yeonwoo seemed to freeze for a moment.

“Doesn’t it sound familiar? It should be very strongly remembered.”

Yeonwoo smiled.

A very soft smile that didn’t resemble the man at all.