Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 106

106.

“Um, it’s a bit scary. If you figure it out, spacetime will be very distorted. Of course, it won’t cause problems in the world you live in! I recently developed a way to sever the influence between spacetime rifts and the world.”

Gi Jisaeng raises his arm and pretends to wipe away tears, with a ㅠㅡㅠ expression. Why are all the creatures around me crazy?

After crying for a moment, Gi Jisaeng raises both hands in the air and shouts.

“It’s okay! I’m the one who’s going to suffer anyway! I’ll give you clues quickly.”

At that moment, the space warps, becoming a small room-like shape. Two chairs face each other across a table.

“What is emotion to humans, anyway?”

The voice is still a mechanical tone, but somehow it sounds serious.

The monitor moves strangely and sits on the chair.

“…The origin of value.”

I sit down in the chair and answer. The definition of emotion is debatable, but its function is clear: the source from which the value of an object arises. Emotion towards an object determines its value.

“So, first clue. Unfortunately, I have lost my emotions.”

I nod. Gi Jisaeng’s mechanical hand taps, and a cup of tea is placed on the table. I take a sip out of courtesy.

Oh my god, it’s Demisoda [a Korean soft drink].

“Without emotions, no object has value. Trash or myself have similar values. To be precise, they are worthless.”

Gi Jisaeng lifts the cup and pours it on the monitor. The Demisoda naturally flows down the surface of the monitor. A crazy being.

“Other old guys like me, who can be called absolutes in the human concept, surprisingly communicate with each other to avoid losing their emotions. As an aside, ‘surprisingly’ is not my emotion, but a rational inference that it’s surprising at this point.”

In other words, he’s an antisocial recluse. Good information.

“Anyway, those damn beings brought me here with the cliché line that I knew too much when I was human. It happened when I was in my 40s.”

Gi Jisaeng finally lets all the Demisoda flow away and puts a ^—^ expression on the monitor.

“And since then, I’ve been immersed in one experiment.”

More monitors float up and form a screen: a timeline.

“While I still had emotions, I explored the possibilities of the world. As you know now, humans act according to their will but follow predetermined possibilities. And when all possible possibilities are exhausted, it repeats again.”

The timeline has countless lines tied together, resulting in one line. And this timeline curls up, connecting the first and last lines. Repeating time.

“Everything is as good as determined, and the world just repeats that determined path forever. When all possibilities are realized, it returns to the beginning. In the end, Nietzsche was right, and that guy works in the office next to mine.”

I concentrate. A lot of information is coming in, but I don’t miss a single one. Intellectual curiosity is so tempting.

“Then, can’t we create new possibilities? I was curious about that. If an outsider like me just ‘tapped’ it, many things could change.”

Gi Jisaeng displays >_< on the screen. "At the time, I still had emotions, so I set that goal and achieved it. In other words, you didn't have the possibility of reconciling with your sibling, but I created it. This is the third one." And that result is me. "...Can I ask a question?" "No. Get the last hint and wake up quickly. You've already gone beyond the 'fragmentary' category." However, I was already caught up in one speculation. To be more precise, something close to certainty. "...What's the last clue?" "Um! Finally!" The teacup on the table slides sideways on its own, and a wooden board slowly begins to appear in the middle. A Janggi [Korean chess] board. "Let's play a game!" I let out an absurd smile. He's not trying to hide it anymore. I check my Janggi pieces and make the first move. Gi Jisaeng immediately follows with a move. The time it takes for both me and Gi Jisaeng to make a move is exactly 7 seconds. "Seven seconds is the optimal time to review all possible scenarios." Of course, it can be grasped in 3 seconds, but the verification process is always important. Gi Jisaeng's move. Followed by my move. Each other's pieces are captured, but never recklessly thrown into danger. Thud. Thud. The sound of Janggi pieces being lifted and placed rings out rhythmically. "Janggi has a number of cases," Gi Jisaeng says. "...Relatively small." And I take over that word. "If the opponent and I can both calculate the subsequent number of cases, the game will not end. So, usually, it's a point system within a time limit." "...But, Gi Jisaeng, there's no need to play a game where the scores will be the same." As a result of the number of cases, under the assumption that only the optimal moves are made, 'I' will draw with the same score. "There is one meaning." I continue the game and wait for the next words. When the moment comes when the pieces on the board cannot be moved to checkmate, no matter how they are moved. Gi Jisaeng changes the monitor to ^O^ and leaves only one word. "It was nice to meet you, Ji Dong-hwa." "...The pleasure was all mine, Gi Jisaeng, or." I finish the remaining Demisoda and answer. "Ji Dong-hwa." A heavy silence settles. A small crack occurs in the space. "Damn it, overtime is confirmed." With a —_— expression, the voice returns to Gi Jisaeng's real voice, not a mechanical one. I'm sure that if I get a little older, I'll have that kind of voice. "Then goodbye. I don't think we'll see each other again, but thank you for returning my emotions." With those words, I feel my mind fading and struggle to leave a word. "...Are you and I different beings?" "Is that the question you wanted to ask?" Gi Jisaeng's monitor flickers, and my face that I saw after the survival ends appears on the screen. "To answer, we are the same being. Didn't you already know?" The 'me' who is smiling clearly had emotions. "Because you will inevitably become me someday. No, in fact, I am already the same as you. Therefore, your real-time changes are also reflected in me. So, I have come to realize again how warm family and friends are." The space slowly crumbles. "To summarize, after agonizing over whether I could turn back time after all the regrets, I finally looked into the back of the world." In the crumbling space, 'Ji Dong-hwa's' face became brighter. "I was able to change you, or rather, me." 'Ji Dong-hwa's' face slowly becomes younger and changes to the same age as me. "Thank you too. I, who changed the predetermined possibilities with human will, or." A short inhale. "To you." Soon the space completely collapsed. * * * I'm so pathetically foolish. The moment I woke up, I thought so. If I was going to regret it so much, why didn't I go to find Mok-hwa and turn back time? Damn it, I can't even criticize it coolly. A human being who doesn't have that much courage, really. I carefully went to the bathroom so that Chae Ha-min wouldn't wake up and stood in front of the mirror. A face without scars. Evidence that I twisted the timeline inside me. The 21-year-old me looked in the mirror and threw it on the ground because I hated seeing it so much. The traces that the fragments of the mirror had etched on my face became as good as new, like a snake shedding its skin. ...Damn it, world. Only tragedy has been allowed for me since then. I recall the moment when I realized that Gi Jisaeng was 'me'. The story that Gi Jisaeng was dragged to the absolute being after finding out the secret of spacetime. Then why wasn't I dragged away when I learned even a little about the secret of spacetime before? The conclusion was simple. I had already been dragged away. I carefully touch the place where the scars were etched and go out of the bathroom to make a cup of coffee. Basking in the sunlight of the rising sun, I thought. '...Damn Gi Jisaeng.' To do crazy things so casually when he's me. The fact that he threatened his partner, the fact that he interpreted the company's rules as he pleased and caused trouble, were all things I did. Ting—! [Madness, it's a plan! From the beginning, when those old men took me away without permission, I was thinking of screwing them over! Moreover, if you spend your whole life researching alone in regret...] Stop. I closed my eyes while reading the text in the middle. Because I couldn't stand seeing myself talking like that anymore. [The word dark history is inappropriate, are you ashamed of the dark future!] "Please stop, Gi Jisaeng." [You can call me Dong-hwa, and I can look at you cutely!] "Please, stop. I don't want to feel any more shame because of me, Gi Jisaeng." Creak. "Gi Jisaeng—who is that—hyungnim [older brother/male friend], Dong-hwa?" Seok-joon carefully peeks out his head. He's still rubbing his eyes, as if he's not fully awake yet. "...Just a crazy being." I just said that and quietly drank a cup of coffee. I feel like I'd feel better if I spat on my face. Seok-joon tilted his head once at that and went back into the bathroom, rubbing his eyes. [For reference, I have been stopping the world for about 270,000 years based on Earth standards until just now and working to stabilize the possibilities! I have almost blocked all the cracks caused by you finding out who I am.] ...Um, now that I think of it as me, I feel less sorry. 'Thank you for your hard work. Please be quiet now.' [Even if you don't say that, I don't think we'll be able to see each other for a while! You will also feel love and hate when you meet an old man named Kairos later!] What are you talking about, crazy creature? * * * After that day, preparations for the year-end stage began again. A schedule that runs as busy as before. But there was one thing that had changed. It was when I was arranging 'The Last Beginning' in the studio to create a slightly more dangerous atmosphere for the year-end stage. "Dong-hwa, I'm here!" Chae Ha-min comes with a book in his hand—it's amazing—and sits on the sofa. To keep the promise with the members, 'Don't overdo it,' I asked the members to come and pick me up if the work time exceeded 5 hours. Phone or clock alarms often can't be heard when wearing headphones. That's right. One thing that has changed is that I currently restrict my working hours myself. It was difficult to overcome all the weaknesses of the body with mental strength alone. I finished the work I was doing and turned the chair towards Chae Ha-min. The book in his hand is... 'Complete Conquest of Tarot Symbols'. ...This is, again, what kind of folk belief is this? A hybrid of ancient alchemy, Hermeticism, astrology, and even Christian colors. "...Ha-min, what are you reading?" "Ah, this? I told you last time. I bought it once to learn!" He always refused to read the books I had when I told him to read them all, but what he's reading is. "I'll read your fortune later, Dong-hwa. I'll become as good as your grandmother." "...Okay." I wanted to say that if you want to become as good as your grandmother, it would be reasonable to learn fortune-telling, but I held back. It was the first time the rabbit was trying to learn anything.