Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 131

131.

After the awkward self-introduction with Ye-seong, we earnestly began discussing our plans for the day.

“First of all, Idol Workshop is a platform that discovers hidden concepts in idols, right?”

As we nodded, Ye-seong suddenly pulled a sketchbook from his bag, its cover adorned with a pink background and a princess character.

“Kuh-up.”

“Oh my, our Seok-jun.”

Ryu Iden swiftly covered Seok-jun’s mouth. It seemed Korea wasn’t quite ready for us to reveal this dinosaur’s Wizney [WIZ*ONE, fans of IZ*ONE] *deokjil* [act of being an enthusiastic fan] to someone we were just meeting.

Ye-seong didn’t seem to notice the commotion. He flipped a page of his sketchbook to reveal an image resembling an animal farm.

“After researching Bloosence, I learned that you’re associated with animals based on your appearance! Right? I’m cute and lovely, but also young, wild, and free, so I’m well-versed in this kind of information.”

…Oh dear, his way of speaking is… unique.

Lee Hyun-jae was visibly struggling to keep a straight face, tilting his head slightly. He probably thought it rude to laugh at someone’s manner of speaking during a first meeting.

“But, what about idols with an animal concept, Iden-ssi?”

“There are many, Senior.”

Ryu Iden replied politely, maintaining a serious expression and a smile. What a remarkable talent.

“So, even if the concept is animals, it needs to be a slightly different animal. Cats or dogs are too obvious. They don’t stick in your mind. There needs to be a spark.”

“Pi-X-chu.”

Seok-jun blurted out nonsensical words as if he’d been waiting for the opportunity.

Lee Hyun-jae, sitting next to him, slapped his thigh, but couldn’t suppress his smile.

“So, common animals are off-limits! For us!”

Ye-seong turned another page.

“We’re going with insects! How about it! Sparks are already flying!”

Yes, I understand, Mr. Fabre. Please film *Insect Record* [a nature documentary series] on your own time.

All the members were dumbfounded, their mouths agape. Witnessing human madness always induces shock.

Even Ryu Iden seemed to struggle with this idea, his smile strained, his facial muscles twitching slightly.

“Iden-ssi, you’re strong! You could lift Dong-hwa-ssi and throw him into the sea! Stag beetle!”

It suits him. I agree.

“Dong-hwa-ssi is sleek and has a slightly cold impression, and he also has the nickname ‘cruel aristocrat,’ so praying mantis!”

That’s crazy. I disagree.

After that, Ye-seong compared Chae Ha-min to a dragonfly, Lee Hyun-jae to a bombardier beetle, and Seok-jun to a pitcher plant. But there’s a different kind of life in there, Ye-seong-ssi. Are you aiming for a ‘Docuprime’ [Korean educational documentary program] instead of Fabre’s Insect Record?

“Wow, seriously. I spent all night worrying about it with Hyeseong-hyung yesterday, but do you like it? Let’s film Fabre’s Insect Record! The first insect-type idol ever!”

Then Seok-jun is confirmed to leave Bloosence. He’ll have to go make a plant-type idol.

“Oh… i-it’s a-amazing!”

Chae Ha-min looked lost, perhaps saddened by the loss of his rabbit identity. Ryu Iden also wore a face that said he didn’t know how to process this.

“So today, we’re going to wear insect masks and—!”

One person is a plant, though.

“If we show our abilities as insects, it’ll be in the news right away, right?”

Well, journalists’ job is to report bizarre, scary, and disgusting things in the world, so I think so.

I looked at Ye-seong, who was spitting out each word with a serious and expectant expression, and thought.

‘…It can’t be genuine. Is it a hidden camera?’

Yeah, it was strange. Those damn broadcasters. There was some kind of answer from the manager’s advice. And the main MC introducing the program.

‘……Ryu Iden seems to have noticed too.’

It’s certain when I see him looking at me with an expression that implies, ‘You too?’

I don’t know much about how to do well on TV, so I should just follow what Ryu Iden does.

“Oh, then I should show you my stag beetle side right now?”

And Ryu Iden, who stood up from his seat, next to me… what are you doing, you crazy bastard.

My eyes, which freely soared into the sky, made contact with the light on the ceiling.

…It’s bright.

“Is this enough to be a stag beetle?”

When Ryu Iden asked in a slightly crazy voice, Ye-seong was taken aback for the first time. Then Ryu Iden winked at me.

Ha, okay, I’ll follow you. You damn stag beetle.

I raised my hand and struck Ryu Iden’s neck. With a ‘Keok’ sound, Ryu Iden collapsed, and I barely managed to keep my balance and stood up.

After a moment of silence, I said quietly.

“…Praying mantises tear their opponents apart.”

You damn idol, why does this job make me want to be broken down into molecules so often.

Only then did everyone come to their senses and start acting out the insects and plants they were in charge of, with the thought of ‘it’s a bit much if only the two of them die.’

It was nice to see Chae Ha-min curl up and then spread out with a ‘pop’ sound.

“…Oh, r-right? This is a very good, idea, right?”

Ye-seong clapped and tried to calm the situation, as if trying to quickly fix the situation.

Then he quickly turned another page of the sketchbook.

“Everyone! Sorry for tricking you after you worked so hard!”

The sketchbook read, ‘Bloosence Hidden Camera ― Hyeseong Script, Yeseong Acting.’

And a man who had been wearing a hat in one corner of the waiting room suddenly jumped up, took off his hat, and ran over.

“Ah! Yeseong-ah! What are these guys! These guys are weird! How can I accept th-is, gahahak, heuhak!”

He seemed to be breathing heavily.

“I was so embarrassed! Hyung said you’d be completely embarrassed and flustered!”

Even though he was hitting Hyeseong-ssi like crazy with the pink princess-designed sketchbook, the person being hit was going crazy with happiness. Okay, I can respect that.

The members other than Ryu Iden and I stopped in the same pose as imitating animals and plants for a moment, wondering if they were grasping the situation.

“Dong-hwa.”

Shut up, Iden. Don’t say anything more.

“Praying mantises tear people apart.”

Ryu Iden said in a solemn voice. It was the most annoying moment since he tried to get me to exercise somehow. He did the same weird things, but how can he be so confident? He lacks a lot of self-reflection. He’s a stag beetle.

“Be quiet, stag beetle.”

“I’ll be quiet! Praying mantises will tear apart the stag beetle’s shell too.”

You damn.

……Still, since that was all I could do at that moment as a praying mantis, I don’t regret it.

“Wait a minute! Then maybe the cameras too?”

Chae Ha-min asked me with a face that was hard to see because it was so red. How can I be sure of that? But.

“…There’s a high probability that they were installed.”

“Oh, wow, I said ‘poong’ with my mouth, wow, Dong-hwa-ya, Jun-ah, me, waaa, what do I do!”

Chae Ha-min buried his face in the sofa, wanting to hide his self from a few seconds ago.

In the meantime, the Ssangseong-ssi looked at me and nodded a few times before asking for a handshake.

“I was an ice prince, but in the insect world, I’m a master of Tang Lang Quan [Praying Mantis Kung Fu]?”

With such a unique and absurd sentence. A praying mantis and a prince, logicians would curse, saying don’t talk nonsense.

“…Thank you.”

I accepted the handshake in a polite manner and decided.

After this filming is broadcast, I will not listen to anything Lee Hyun-jae tells me about public opinion for a while.

After everyone except Ryu Iden felt mental shame, the MCs explained the concept of this broadcast.

“This isn’t a hidden camera, so please listen carefully!”

I should have been thinking about other things earlier, but I focused for nothing.

“Well, Yeseong and I, Ssangseong, planned it hard! Each of the five of you has a strong personality. So I’m thinking of going in a direction that maximizes those personalities.”

I don’t know why the word ‘extremely’ sounds so uneasy. Ye-seong is doing strange things with complete facial expression control in the hidden camera, and Hyeseong-ssi, who wrote the script for such strange things, doesn’t seem to be maintaining a completely sound mind.

“Of course, we’ll do games, interviews, and talent shows that you’ve prepared as usual. But in between, we’ll create unexpected situations like the hidden camera we just did, and you can show your abilities like you showed the power of insects. Quickness! And the talent that blooms from there! Our master plan for your complete adaptation to variety shows, where the most new fans become fans! This place is!”

…Suddenly?

And in the waiting room where we were talking, the staff members set off shabby birthday firecrackers all at once. Under the weak baptism of insignificant paper, Ssangseong jumped onto the sofa, took a ‘mansei’ [Korean cheering phrase, similar to ‘hurray’] pose, and shouted.

“Idol Workshop!”

A chaotic opening scene. As soon as the cut sign fell, Ssangseong laughed like crazy and then held each of our hands tightly.

“Eugh, Iden-ssi is the leader, right? You’re very quick-witted. Dong-hwa-ssi also matched well right away. The team chemistry is good. How did you, there, that, that.”

Hyeseong-ssi grabbed Ryu Iden’s and my hands alternately, and then laughed again as if the chaos from before had come to mind again. Somehow, I don’t think it will be an easy time.

* * *

We moved to another location for the full-fledged filming. The set, decorated with a *pyegongjang* [abandoned factory] feel to match the name ‘Workshop,’ stood out.

I was waiting for Ssangseong to call our names while they were giving their opening remarks, and I saw Lee Hyun-jae and Seok-jun holding each other’s hands tightly and muttering something. Seeing the relatively young guys trembling with pressure made me feel a little sorry.

“Now, here’s Bloosence, who has returned with intense excitement!”

In response to the call, we went in, and after greeting according to Ryu Iden’s signal, Ssangseong was smiling with the mouth of a beast looking at delicious prey.

“Oh, everyone seems a little nervous, our Bloosence.”

“No, I don’t know what the editing order will be, but I think you were nervous during the hidden camera earlier.”

“But, just one person! I see someone who’s not nervous at all, Dong-hwa-ssi!”

A sudden call, a call that wasn’t in the script. Why are you doing this, you damn humans.

“Yes, this is Dong-hwa.”

“Oh, as expected, a concise greeting. I heard you’re the calmest member of Bloosence, is that right?”

“That’s right.”

“Oh, I see.”

Right then, a man in disguise, probably trying to look scary, jumped out of a *pyegongjang* [abandoned factory] drum and ran towards us with a scream.

At that, the other members screamed urgently and huddled together behind me.

…Ah, this is that sudden situation. What I have to show extremely is calmness. If a task is given, you have to do it properly.

I bowed to the person who was acting as a grotesque creature who had already arrived in front of me.

“…Hello. This is Dong-hwa from Bloosence.”

He paused for a moment, but he didn’t panic, perhaps because he had a strong sense of professionalism, and came closer to my face again. I was fine, but the members standing behind me let out a short scream and took a few steps back. Finally, we faced each other face to face, 20 centimeters apart. Looking closely, I could see the exhaustion all over his face. How long had he been waiting for this moment?

In the silence, I and that person were feeling that life was not easy. The person’s face showed a flustered expression, a worried expression, and a hesitant expression in sequence, and then he suddenly lowered his face as if he was ashamed, took a few steps back, and ran away.

“Wh-what, Keuhak, did you defeat him with your expression, Heuhahah, or something?”

Hyeseong-ssi, who was watching me silently, burst into laughter. Ye-seong also clapped and came towards me.

“Wow, I saw your calmness. I promised that person. I told him to run away when he thought it was no use doing anything more. He must have realized it was useless after facing your face for exactly 4 seconds.”

“No, anyway, Iden-ssi, it’s a bit much for the leader to hide behind his younger brother!”

Ryu Iden came out to his original position with an awkward smile.

“Hey, I did that because it’s all on TV. I wanted our Dong-hwa to stand out, so even though I wasn’t scared and not surprised….”

As he was preparing his excuse, the person who had run away earlier came running towards us with a scream. Ryu Iden jumped up like an automatic reflex and landed behind me.

A deep silence lingered for a moment, and as soon as the person in disguise left the set again as if he was in a good mood, laughter erupted.

“It’s not a concept!”

“His reaction speed is almost that of an athlete!”

As I watched Ssangseong beat up Ryu Iden as if they had caught something, I felt it. Today’s filming will be terribly *jeongshineopda* [chaotic, 정신없다].