Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 139

139.

A program that films celebrities’ trips, ‘Escape from the Ordinary! Exit.’

The daily lives of celebrities are always a topic of interest. It seems to be because of the desire to see the behind-the-scenes of celebrities, who ‘seem to live a different life from what they show on camera.’ Perhaps that’s why observational entertainment programs are so popular.

Among such observational entertainment programs, this one has a somewhat incomprehensible concept of filming ‘daily life’ that escapes from the ordinary and heals. I wonder if this makes sense… Anyway, it’s an unexpected boon for me. I can legally go on a trip with Mok-hwa amidst a busy schedule of music show filming.

“…Mok-hwa, shall we go?”

“Just a moment, hyung [older brother or close male friend]! Let me just check my luggage one last time!”

Standing in front of the camera, he seems a bit stiff, but when I talk to him, he immediately forgets and returns to his usual self.

“You know where we’re going today, right?”

“Hey, even if I’m not as good as you, hyung, I’m still quite the brain on Hoppin.”

“…Really?”

“Surprising? That I’m smart? Huh? Just because hyung went to Korea University doesn’t mean I can’t even show my face anywhere.”

Mok-hwa playfully provokes me.

“You are smart, you are.”

Among the kids I’ve seen, he’s the smartest after Lee Hyun-jae. And he might be wiser than me.

“Ah, seriously… you’re good with words!”

Perhaps what comes after ‘you’ is the unique phrase ‘don’t lie through your teeth.’ Fortunately, his language is becoming more refined. It’s a positive aspect of becoming a celebrity. If you recommend a career as a celebrity to a kid with a foul mouth, you might be able to fix their language.

“Anyway, let’s go! A day trip today!”

Even though it’s a day trip that ends around 5 AM.

* * *

This place is Busan. It’s where my father and mother met and fell in love. It’s a story I heard when I was five years old, so there might be inaccuracies, but their love supposedly blossomed in a place with a hill in the center and a boys’ high school and a girls’ high school on either side.

Mok-hwa might not remember, but I remember, so I chose this destination. I also wanted to revive the old memories of going to the sea with Mok-hwa, and it’s a place I’ve always wanted to visit with him.

“Wow, hyung. Let’s go eat quickly! I asked a member hyung, and he said we definitely have to eat gukbap [Korean soup with rice].”

“Okay, we’ll do everything you want.”

Today is that kind of day. Instead of me choosing the destination, it’s a day for Mok-hwa to do whatever he wants.

“I’m a bit excited. It’s been so long, a trip.”

“15 years old, so Incheon 6 years ago was the last time.”

“…That’s right. Incheon. I kept going with hyung.”

Mok-hwa seems to have forgotten about the camera. Before I knew it, he had a bright smile and wistful eyes, and he grabbed my hand and ran.

“Let’s go, let’s go eat, you damn hyung!”

“…Mok-hwa, your language.”

“Hyung does it all the time, too, what.”

…Then, according to the transitive property, is it thanks to my father that Mok-hwa uses such words?

Just then, the notification window pops up again after a long time. So, I’m quite happy to see Gijisaeng,

[It’s unfilial! Don’t insult my father!]

…I was wrong to think that. He’s also my father. I guess I’ve regained a lot of human concepts. He seems quite bored lately. If possible, please come more often.

[Of course. Since you are me, knowledge synchronization is inevitable between us! Because the emotions you feel remain subtly with me to some extent. And I’m surprisingly busy, so I can’t even monitor as often these days!]

…It’s hard to describe the feeling in words. Feeling sorry for or pitying myself is a first for me. Even though emotions remain subtly, and even though that life form is the same as me, just with a difference in the timeline, I can’t help but feel sorry.

‘…Aren’t you very lonely?’

[Get a grip, Ji Dong-hwa! Don’t like me! You’re not that kind of guy!]

Seriously, why is his tone like that? I’m really not that kind of person. I want to analyze how the years spent alone affect a person’s personality.

[There’s no need to think too much about it. Thanks to the subtly remaining emotions, I’m spending my days lying on a chair alone, smiling contentedly! I’m also practicing putting names to the emotions I feel.]

……I feel even more sorry, you damn life form.

“Hyung, come here quickly. I’m going to pick your pocket all day today.”

Mok-hwa calls me, perhaps because I was walking slowly while talking to Gijisaeng. A smile naturally appears on my face.

[Is the emotion I’m feeling now something I can name happiness?]

‘…Yes, Gijisaeng.’

I wonder if there’s a way for Gijisaeng to directly experience my life.

[Would there be such a thing? Believe me, I’m much smarter than you, so I’m telling you!]

…If I go there, I’ll develop a way to call you back into this possibility from your current space-time coordinate system, you damn Gijisaeng.

[It took 7,862,074 years based on Earth time to develop possibility alteration! It’s utterly ridiculous!]

I’ll win no matter what, you damn bastard. I thought I had almost no competitive spirit, but as for Gijisaeng, an intense competitive spirit dominates my mind.

“Hyung, hyung, let’s go to the sea right after we eat today.”

“Okay, Mok-hwa.”

I can’t stand being indebted and then ignoring someone, so just you wait, you damn life form. I’ll succeed even if it takes as long as the age of the universe.

* * *

After the meal and sightseeing at several places, we sat down on a set installed near the beach and had a conversation.

We’re on the border between spring and summer, but it’s a bit chilly because it’s the beach, so even a bonfire is burning. Only two chairs were placed in front of the warm bonfire. Moreover, even the camera staff were not easily visible. It was camping time created to allow us to talk freely.

Of course, cameras installed everywhere are filming us, but I’m already about a year into my idol activities, so I’m getting used to not paying attention.

Mok-hwa still seems unfamiliar with it, and his face looks a bit stiff. It was enjoyable to be able to play the role of hyung here too.

“…Hyung. It’s nice to come like this. It’s been a really long time.”

I burst out laughing. Why is he so awkward?

Because of our group and Hoppin’s activities, meeting at the broadcasting station was all we did, so it’s been a long time since we gathered like this.

“Hyung, I’m really unfamiliar with this, so please help me. How do you do broadcasting?”

Mok-hwa trembles slightly. He wanted to stand on stage, but he seems flustered to appear on broadcast. Mok-hwa asked for help, but it’s a shame that broadcasting isn’t my specialty. I should have brought Ryu Iden.

“How is it doing activities and broadcasting? It’ll get busier little by little.”

“Honestly, it’s fun, hyung. It’s been my dream since I was young. And… the reason I met hyung again was also because of being an idol.”

If you start with that story from the beginning, I’ll be at a disadvantage, Mok-hwa.

“Anyway, it’s exciting and good on stage. Broadcasting still has a lot to learn. I don’t know about being busy yet… I was worried because hyung seemed so busy. Whenever I called, you were in the studio, when I called during breaks from practice, you were in the studio, when I asked what you were doing before bed, you were working, you were almost always only in the studio. So I was worried, and when I asked the seniors, they said it’s rare for someone to only work like that. So I thought, does this hyung work without any days off….”

Once he starts talking, Mok-hwa throws words out like a waterfall, as if he had never been unfamiliar with it. The possibility that I was in the studio every time he called was… extremely low. I slowly nodded my head. It started with concerns about broadcasting, but before I knew it, the atmosphere had changed to me being scolded.

“There were also a lot of schedules, so I couldn’t meet hyung often. I only congratulated you with a video on your birthday.”

Mok-hwa looks slightly sulky as he talks about that. He seems to have accumulated some resentment. He doesn’t express it directly because of his mature and sensible personality.

“Besides! You even tutor Hyun-jae? You don’t even teach me.”

Perhaps because he’s been accustomed to expressing his emotions since he grew up in my hands, he naturally elicits attention, even though it’s a bit embarrassing. He probably doesn’t really mean to be taught. He used to have a fit when I tried to teach him academics when he was young.

Could his mind have changed? If so, even through video call…….

“Do you want to study?”

Mok-hwa shakes his head at that.

“I like reading books too, but I don’t want to do schoolwork like that. I was just jealous, I guess. A humble desire to get some of hyung’s attention!”

I leak out another laugh. He’s cute, as much as Simba. Unlike me, he has a personality that will be loved wherever he goes, a personality that can’t be hated.

“I mean, hyung was my parents.”

I swallow my breath.

“Honestly, I don’t remember my real parents very well. Even if I remember, it’s like short fragments. Most of my childhood memories are always of hyung being my guardian and my fence. I’m really grateful… and grateful again. As I said last time, 80% of my good growth is thanks to hyung. If it weren’t for hyung, I would have become something like a juvenile delinquent.”

I don’t know what to say. It’s too much for me, who is only standing in front of all the memories, even if I’m not completely confident now.

“…As I said last time, I’m a better.”

“Hyung is.”

Mok-hwa quickly cuts me off as if he had anticipated my next words. His expression is firm.

“Hyung is an amazing person. If I were hyung and hyung were my younger brother, I wouldn’t have been able to endure it alone for nearly 8 years. How do you work part-time every single day for a whole month, and how do you send your younger brother to tutoring without fail? If I could only turn back time, I would grab my head back then and shout at myself to come to my senses.”

Then Mok-hwa smiles.

“My goal is to succeed and support hyung later. Just like when I was young, even if hyung doesn’t work, my wallet will take care of it!”

Wow, it feels strange. It’s really unfamiliar to hear Mok-hwa, who always seemed like he needed to be protected, say these things. How much has he grown to have such thoughts? The Mok-hwa in my head might have stopped in childhood.

“Right now, I’m called ‘Dong-hwa’s younger brother,’ but just you wait. Within 5 years, I’ll make hyung be called ‘Mok-hwa’s older brother.’”

That’s a future I’m really looking forward to. If everyone in the world knows that I’m Mok-hwa’s older brother, that wouldn’t be so bad. It’s even touching to know how much Mok-hwa has grown as he talks about his success. But.

“I like being called your younger brother, too.”

Humans have things they can’t give up.

“Adults can’t live only doing what they want, hyung.”

So that means I should just obediently prepare to be called Mok-hwa’s older brother.

“…Okay, work hard, Dong-hwa’s younger brother.”

“Not many years left, Mok-hwa’s older brother.”

What a warm relationship between brothers.

* * *

After talking about various concerns, I suddenly thought it would be nice to sing with Mok-hwa in front of the sea now.

“Mok-hwa, shall we sing what we recorded last time now?”

“Hyung, I’m not confident in my voice condition, would it be okay?”

“…Um, if the problem is really serious, wouldn’t they edit it out?”