Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 231

“This isn’t the Shardena style!”

Listening to the voice of that seemingly mentally unstable person on the TV screen, I sighed with a mix of annoyance.

Given the nature of this program, I’m currently sitting here as an idol, watching some stranger spout nonsense.

“I wish that guy would shut up.”

The only good thing about X-tube is that slightly harsher language is acceptable. It’s nice to be able to speak more freely because they’re criticizing me.

“Hyung, he’s still a professor.”

Unfortunately, that professor is someone I’ll kill with my own hands someday. More than that.

“I wish you would too, Eden.”

Please, just shut up.

“I really wish our Dong-hwa was even half as much like the professor. Telling hyung to shut up…….”

Chae Ha-min, who had been engrossed in watching TV despite the minor commotion, nodded slowly in agreement, regardless of what the person next to him said.

“Ah, but I think I know why I’m watching this. It feels like emptying my brain. My brain is being purified…….”

So, my brain is getting dizzy with shame. How many people are watching that right now? Over a million views, for something like that.

I hope this isn’t proof that South Korea is falling apart. I still have a long life ahead of me.

“Dong-hwa is seriously talking nonsense, so it’s no joke. I felt it when I heard the lyrics for the duet song with Ha-min too…….”

Shut up, Eden. I’m already embarrassed.

“Where did you read something like that?”

“What.”

“Shardena.”

That’s a pretty trivial question.

On the screen, a caption read, ‘A kingdom that existed in the current Italian region,’ followed by ‘Professor Ji sometimes has no sense of time.’

Yeah, he really has no sense of time. He should at least stick to the era he lives in. But that’s Professor Ji, not me, currently.

“Please allow it just this once, in a literary sense.”

Apologize to all the literary people in the world. How can you compare this to literature?

But I couldn’t help it. Because of my habits from being a tutor, my mouth naturally opens when Lee Hyun-jae asks a question.

“I was looking through Italian history.”

“Why is that?”

“I got curious while reading Machiavelli’s book.”

“Why is that again?”

What is this, a question mark assassin? He’s perfect for graduate school.

“…Because it was at home. Everyone does that when they’re young. If it’s in front of you, you just read it.”

At the same time, the members split into Lee Hyun-jae and the rest. Lee Hyun-jae with an ‘As expected, cool’ expression, and the members with an ‘As expected…….’ expression.

“I sometimes don’t understand you very well, our Dong-hwa is really, truly.”

Me too. There are times when I don’t understand you, Eden.

“Instead of just reading books at home, let’s go to early morning soccer together.”

“Sorry, but you really sounded like an old man.”

An unlikeable one.

“That’s right.”

Lee Hyun-jae also nodded quietly.

“An unlikeable old man.”

“Hey, I’m a well-aging old man for my age.”

…No, hyung. Don’t put the word ‘well’ on something like that. From the perspective of someone who’s been old once, I don’t think you’re aging well.

[That’s right. I’m quite old too, but that’s not aging well.]

You too.

[…Hurtful.]

You’re becoming like Ryu Eden, AI.

[Offensive language may result in penalties.]

I’ll be careful. I think I went too far. There’s a saying that language is a mirror that reflects a person, and I lowered my standards too much.

* * *

“No, from perilla leaves to shrimp, to long padding jackets [Korean winter coats], and what else was there, anyway, it was a mess.”

After hearing about that, I briefly considered immigrating, but I realized that foreign countries wouldn’t be much different, and I was frustrated.

On the TV in front of me, Professor Ji is looking at the people arguing about perilla leaves with a gentle gaze. Good acting. My inner state at that time was hard to show on TV.

“It’s like mint chocolate. Or pineapple pizza. They even argue about how to hang toilet paper in the bathroom.”

Large-scale arguments might come from the desire to confirm that ‘there are people who think like me.’

Feeling that they belong to a certain group, confirming their psychological stability, forming a consensus with the other party, and feeling joy in the struggle against the opposite side.

The internet culture may not have invented these arguments themselves, but it must have helped spread them.

“What does Professor Ji think?”

“…I’m not him, so I don’t know, but he’d say that the effort is good to see.”

“Ah, I want to be friends with Professor Ji. He’ll accept whatever I say…….”

Ryu Eden’s muttering. What to do, really. If my violence becomes a problem in the future, I’m going to formally sue Ryu Eden.

You raised that violence. Since it hasn’t been long since it was born, shouldn’t you, as the parent, take responsibility instead?

“I think I’d get a lot of counseling if Professor Ji was around too.”

Even Chae Ha-min muttered that, so I felt strange. What are they doing right now, these guys. Even though I exist as ‘Ji Dong-hwa,’ the person in question is right here.

“Right? I’m enough as Dong-hwa hyung, though.”

“Professor Ji seems like he’d listen to anything, no matter how strange? I want to be friends with him in a different way than with Dong-hwa!”

That’s me, you stupid rabbit. Why are we separated? Am I outside of Leibniz’s principle of the identity of indiscernibles [If two objects have exactly the same properties, they are the same]? Roughly, the principle that if two objects have exactly the same properties, they are the same.

“I listen to any strange sound too.”

“The expression is different. Dong-hwa has a warm heart, but Professor Ji has a warm expression.”

I watched the professor on the screen listening to nonsense disguised as counseling and nodding. And as soon as I raised the white flag, ‘my’ image of frowning and covering my face with a deep sigh followed.

Professor Ji, that guy must be a hypocrite, what are you talking about.

“…The expression is different, but that guy is probably thinking all sorts of strange things inside.”

A human who is the same inside and out is a hundred times better than a human who is different inside and out.

“Hyung-nim, you can’t insult Professor Ji— I also respect— him.”

“That’s right, Dong-hwa. And the professor probably only thinks warm thoughts inside too. His character is so wonderful. He even stays up all night to take care of our mental health.”

I’m stunned by Seok-joon and Ryu Eden’s nonsense. It feels like one of the rules that used to be universal has suddenly changed. And I’m the only one who feels awkward about it.

It’s like all the oceans in the world have turned into cola, and I’m the only one who’s shocked to see the black-brown sea.

“What do you know about that guy, hyung.”

“I know him well. I’m Professor Ji’s biggest fan. Ah, I wish I had a hyung like Professor Ji……. He wouldn’t tease me and would warmly embrace me…….”

Wait a minute. What is this. Am I wearing a heart rate monitor right now? No matter how I look at it, it’s a prank by the production team to mess with me.

As soon as the PD [Production Director] guy’s eyes met mine, he raised both hands and expressed that there were no instructions.

So, these guys are teasing me for the sake of the show’s entertainment.

…It must be for fun.

“…Excuse me, can I go to the bathroom for a moment.”

When I raised my hand and said that, the PD guy nodded. Seeing his eyes shining unusually, it’s clear that he’s expecting something to happen.

Then it would be good to fulfill that expectation.

* * *

After Ji Dong-hwa left, Ryu Eden burst into laughter. A small smile turned into audible laughter, and then into wild laughter from explosive laughter. Chae Ha-min next to him also giggled quietly.

“Ah, our Dong-hwa is so cute, really.”

“I know. Dong-hwa and Professor Ji are both equally kind. How cute.”

Of course, Chae Ha-min regards the two as different beings. Ji Dong-hwa feels like a pet snake pretending to be a viper, and Professor Ji feels like a hundred-year-old snake monster who eats people and befriends them.

But that doesn’t change the fact that they are both good.

And for Ryu Eden, Chae Ha-min’s words were hard to listen to.

“That’s not true, Ha-min-ah. How much Dong-hwa……. He’s only like that to you.”

“No, hyung. It’s not that, it’s that Dong-hwa hyung is only harsh to hyung.”

Ryu Eden paused for a moment, then closed his eyes and thought about something carefully before nodding.

“It’s better to be special.”

“…Rubber shoes are more special than other shoes, but they don’t become good shoes.”

“Maybe he’s fallen for the charm of rubber shoes?”

“…Hyung, sometimes it’s like you don’t have any negative thoughts at all, like.”

Lee Hyun-jae couldn’t bring himself to say the intense word ‘delusion’ and held back for a moment. He didn’t want to say such a thing to the person he respected next to Ji Dong-hwa.

Seok-joon, who had been watching all this, wondered where our Dong-hwa hyung had gone and why it was taking so long, but everyone else was carefree, so he stretched out carefree.

And as if that stretch was a signal flare, the door burst open, and the sound of high heels echoed.

‘Oh, Dong-hwa, he’s wearing the sneakers I gave him today,’ Chae Ha-min said in surprise and turned his head.

Tidy hair, tidy suit, tidy shoes. Even a subtle smile.

“…Wow, what is it.”

Ji Dong-hwa came in wearing the clothes that Professor Ji usually wore and sat down in the chair.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Professor Ji. I’ve been a long-time fan, Blossoms [Their fandom name], everyone.”

“…Hyung, are you having a hard time?”

When Lee Hyun-jae asked in a quiet voice, Professor Ji tilted his head and smiled.

“It’s our first time meeting, Hyun-jae-ssi.”

Ryu Eden looks at Professor Ji with tearful eyes. He raised both hands and hugged Professor Ji.

“Teacher! I wanted to see you! Every time I saw you on YouTube, I wanted to be friends with you.”

Professor Ji smiled and patted him on the back, then whispered in Ryu Eden’s ear. It was a subtly adjusted voice that no one else could hear, only Ryu Eden could hear.

“I have no intention of being friends with rude people who hug strangers like you, Eden-ssi.”

Go to hell, you dog.

Ji Dong-hwa thought to himself. You guys clearly said that ‘I’ and ‘Professor Ji’ are different, so you have to accept this differently too. That’s how there’s consistency in all actions.

And the human being called ‘Professor Ji’ that I played on the screen couldn’t stand to overlook rudeness. Unless it’s a world where hugging strangers is polite.

“Ah, my mistake. I’ve gotten into the habit of saying what’s on my mind these days.”

The PD guy heard what I said from the audio director and laughed like crazy with his head down.

Maybe that guy is imagining inviting Ryu Eden as a guest in ‘Mental Class Lesson 2’ in his head. With the theme ‘Can Professor Ji spend time with an enemy?’

Anyway, Ryu Eden, seeing my skillful expression, trembled at his fingertips. He muttered, ‘This can’t be…….’ and then collapsed.

This is a kind of duel I’m applying to the members. ‘Ji Dong-hwa’s Mental Class’ is a place where a struggle takes place between the production team and the cast who are trying to mess with each other.

It’s a game of how to rationally interpret the ‘incomprehensible situation’ presented by the production team, and if you don’t, you’ll have to participate in the penalty that the PD guy has painstakingly prepared.

The PD guy immediately put people in to have the members wear heart rate monitors.

The members were embarrassed, but they wore heart rate monitors as they were told. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or an annoying thing that we understand each other at times like this.

“Come to think of it, everyone, have you gotten a little closer to the zombie virus these days? It’s been quite a while since we implemented With Zombie Virus.”

In other words, from now on, you have to naturally interpret the worldview that I’m going to create while babbling, and if you don’t, you’ll have to participate in the penalty that the PD guy has painstakingly prepared.