Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 252

I Didn’t Plan to Become an Idol – Episode 252 (220/343)

Idols practice so intensely that people say their training is murderous, continuing day and night.

When I think about it, I wonder if there’s any job that doesn’t require that much effort, but when composing work is added to that, I can somewhat relate.

However, getting an IV drip was more of an event caused by worrying about the change of seasons rather than overwork.

I had collapsed once before for a similar reason—at an awards ceremony early in my debut—so it was a preventive measure before collapsing…

“Okay, our Dong-hwa has clocked out.”

Ryu Iden shouted, sitting on the sofa with his arms wide open. He was holding a gavel; I don’t know where he got it.

Below the sofa, Chae Hamin was on Ryu Iden’s right, and Lee Hyunjae was on his left, scribbling something on the desk.

“Therefore, we will proceed with the trial as scheduled. The defendant has the right to remain silent. Is the person who entered the defendant Ji Dong-hwa?”

They’re even doing an identification check and informing me of my right to remain silent.

What on earth are you guys doing? You were definitely in the practice room on the messenger before I left work.

“…Yes, that’s correct.”

I sat down.

Seok-jun, presumed to be the clerk, was focused on the game console—what about you, Jun?—concentrating on the game. Usually, he’d be participating in something like this.

“For the record, our clerk is slightly angry for the first time. So he’s on strike.”

“Oh my god.”

No, he wasn’t really sick, just resting, because there’s no essence of civilization development like modern medicine.

“I’ll hear the defendant’s plea later. There’s also a lawyer, right?”

Lee Hyunjae waved his hand.

Still, it feels reassuring to have someone on my side to argue for my innocence.

“First, the prosecution, make your opening statement.”

“Yes, the defendant told us that he was taking good care of his condition, but he secretly went around getting IV drips. This is a fraudulent act that greatly damages the trust between the members, and if this behavior is repeated, the trust itself will disappear.”

You’re so good at talking. Why only at times like this, Hamin?

Even though you’re reading something you wrote in advance, it’s impressive.

“Therefore, since there is a lack of trust to believe in the defendant’s self-care, group-level sanctions are necessary. We request that we create a schedule together and proceed with both practice and composing accordingly. However! Respecting individual freedom! Changes to the schedule will be applied only after consultation with me! Prosecutor Chae Hamin!”

A hollow laugh escaped.

Chae Hamin is staring intently at the paper and reading diligently, but his voice is filled with a tenacious conviction.

Even our leader, Iden hyung [older brother/male friend], looked embarrassed. He clearly had an expression that said, ‘Oh? Was it this serious? Wasn’t this supposed to be a joke?’

“…Judging by your expression, it looks like you’re indicting a criminal you’ve been chasing for about ten years, Hamin.”

“Even if it’s not ten years, it’s been quite a while.”

“Yes, I’ve heard you well. The defense?”

“In the first place, the members cannot interfere unless Dong-hwa hyung [older brother/male friend] is doing something wrong.”

Oh my god, that’s right.

“Even if it doesn’t happen, if Dong-hwa hyung [older brother/male friend] is making a stupid choice that anyone can see, it’s right for hyung [older brother/male friend] to choose and take responsibility, right?”

So true. Hyunjae, you’re a genius.

I’d grab you guys by the collar if you were about to do something stupid.

“Of course, hyung [older brother/male friend] sometimes overworks, but he hasn’t collapsed recently, and if he got an IV drip as a preventive measure, as hyung [older brother/male friend] said, I doubt whether the prosecution’s argument has enough public interest to justify infringing on his personal privacy.”

Hyunjae, you’re definitely my disciple. Should I write you a song as a lawyer’s fee?

Chae Hamin was writing down Lee Hyunjae’s words with a serious expression I had never seen before. That intense will to refute in any way possible.

In other words, the desire to somehow make me lie down in the dorm and see me sleeping.

“Prosecution, will you question the defendant?”

“Yes!”

Scary, Hamin. You’re sometimes out of your mind.

The focus in the eyes I met seems a little blurry. I wonder what sharp words will come out of that mouth.

“Dong-hwa. I want to end this long, long debate today. I’m someone who prioritizes your health even if the comeback is delayed. I still get so worried when I think about you collapsing at the awards ceremony.”

However, what actually came out of his mouth was a very typical emotional approach.

“This is not something to be dealt with emotionally. This is about Dong-hwa hyung’s [older brother/male friend] privacy, an important value in modern society, right?”

This time, Lee Hyunjae tackled it in a very typical way.

As the debate gradually progressed, I didn’t know why the two were fighting, but the fight had begun.

Our fair and impartial judge, Ryu Iden, was just watching with a giggle, as if he found this whole situation amusing, failing to fulfill his calling as a judge to mediate.

I was just amazed that all this chaos was caused by my nutritional supplement, so I moved my seat next to Seokjun, who was playing the game.

“Jun.”

“……”

The silence is thick. The density was so unusual that I couldn’t even hear the sound of the trial proceedings on the other side.

“…It’s the friend we caught together last time.”

“……”

Oh my god.

I closed my eyes for a moment in shock. I feel like I know the feelings of parents with sons entering puberty.

I’ve never experienced anything like this even when growing cotton.

“…Hyung [older brother/male friend] was ba―ad.”

“I guess so.”

“Working hard is not bad, and collapsing from overwork is not bad.”

“…Really?”

“Yes. It would have been nice if you had just told us you were going to the hospital. That was bad.”

“…That’s right.”

I roughly thought there was a problem with the facts, but I understand why the situation escalated.

Yeah, if I could have predicted this, I would have told them.

[For your information, I did.]

Sometimes I want to fight with you, Gijisaeng.

In the end, one way to quell this situation came to mind.

What I realized last time.

Since they keep asking about the end of group activities, I just need to share what I’ve learned through some contemplation.

In the first place, the members are inevitably frustrated because they don’t clearly know why I work so hard.

Lee Hyunjae is just in the position of ‘I don’t know why he’s doing that, but it violates individual rights?’

Once we understand each other, a compromise is easily reached. Or the range of acceptable behavior increases.

However, even though I know all these practical benefits, I can’t bring myself to say it.

It’s too embarrassing.

Yeah, nothing changes even if these guys see my bottom line.

It’s just an immature psychology that’s uncomfortable to show, but it’s a bearable embarrassment in terms of strengthening mutual trust.

[I’m seated. I’ll watch, your embarrassment.]

“…Judge.”

“Yes, defendant.”

I looked around the courtroom, where the sluggish debate was continuing.

“I have something to say.”

“Final plea?”

“…Something like that.”

* * *

[Summary: You guys are like family. I don’t want to break up. That’s why I’m obsessed with work. I’m sorry. I love you.]

I never said I loved you. Stop fabricating, Gijisaeng.

[In fact, the preceding words have the same meaning as ‘I love you’.]

You’ve fallen for science, and your philosophical knowledge has become insufficient. They are clearly logically different.

I buried my face in my hands and let out a deep sigh.

It seems like a normal psychological state to feel relieved after spitting everything out, but unfortunately, I could tell that my current psychological state was embarrassing without even thinking about it.

“Wow, our Dong-hwa, you were thinking that!”

Ryu Iden was the first to break the silence and immediately picked up the gavel and declared.

“Order! The defendant is innocent! The reasons for the acquittal are omitted!”

Bang, bang, bang, Ryu Iden immediately struck down. Then he put down the gavel and rushed over to stroke my head like crazy.

I guess this uncle-like reaction can’t be fixed.

“Oh, you’re so admirable, my baby! Can I be your father?”

I’m older than you, you dog.

Seokjun also stared blankly with the same surprised expression, and soon his eyes turned red.

You should consider getting rid of the beauty mark under your eye, Jun.

I don’t want to believe in folk beliefs, but it seems reasonable to rely on folk beliefs because Seokjun cries so often.

I feel like my brain is burning.

The contents of the books I read about the things that expressing emotions means come to mind, and the contents of the papers on what significance expressing one’s emotions has in terms of psychotherapy come to mind.

The dark history created by my drinking habits, the moments when I was needlessly prickly, the times when I wanted to be together without pretending not to.

From the day I spent with these guys until now, all the small and big events that happened.

Everything is burning and wandering around in my head.

It’s a rare experience, and the only times in my life that my head felt like it was on fire were the day my parents passed away, the day I sent Mok-hwa for adoption, and the first time I came to this timeline and synchronized my knowledge.

Excluding the last case, it’s hard to accept that today’s incident has the same meaning as the two most significant events in my life.

It’s just that I said my feelings.

It’s just that I told you what status you have in my life.

But it’s similar to those big events…

Stop, the brain demands rest when it overheats. Just like when I sent Mok-hwa for adoption and skipped school without permission,

I got up from my seat first. I’m going to go to my room and sleep.

I need time to sleep. I want to think only as much as my brain can handle at least.

And those remnants will remain as dreams, damn it. It was a nightmare when it was Mok-hwa, but I don’t know what it will be like this time.

“Good night.”

“Oh, look at you being embarrassed again. I’m glad I recorded it.”

“…Anyway, tomorrow.”

Without even paying attention to the sound that I would have grabbed by the collar and hit with a brick if it were normal, I went straight into the room.

Ryu Iden’s embarrassed expression, unfortunately, didn’t catch my eye.

* * *

The quiet living room after Ji Dong-hwa disappeared. Everyone could tell that Ji Dong-hwa’s usual embarrassment was different from that appearance.

“…Just now, something.”

Ryu Iden, who was particularly shocked by the fact that he had overlooked the last ‘recording’ remark, covered his mouth.

“Wow, wait, what is it. Dong-hwa, something.”

Ryu Iden was still stuttering without finishing his words properly.

In the meantime, Lee Hyunjae was struggling to hold back the tears that were flowing on their own.

To Lee Hyunjae, who was understanding the meaning of the word family in a literary way, it was unbearable for someone who was not related by blood, someone who he believed truly cared about him, to call him family.

“Ha, shit……”

I thought crying would be the last thing I did that day, but it’s happening again like this.

It’s not like I’m sobbing, it’s just flowing like a broken faucet.

And Chae Hamin. He messed up his hair, feeling like his head was turning white.

Of course, it’s not like he said something he couldn’t say, and Ji Dong-hwa definitely needs to be treated for workaholism, but he didn’t know he was working with that kind of heart.

To be honest, Chae Hamin thought Dong-hwa’s efforts were just a normal lifestyle.

In other words, the living room where Ji Dong-hwa left was full of chaos and confusion. Collective monologues were rampant, the smell of tears spread, and exclamations popped out here and there.

Lastly, Gijisaeng, who was holding ‘Hyunjae – a fox-shaped robot’ in his arms, watching all the situations in this living room, frowned.

“…Hyunjae, they’re making a fuss.”

“Kking?”

“You think so too, right?”

Even Gijisaeng, who habitually predicts future events by calculating various possibilities, was so amazed by the bizarre scenery that he put down his work for a while.