Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 306

I didn’t plan on becoming an idol – Episode 306 (274/343)

The most important feature of this concert: frequent costume changes. During the movement rehearsals, we often have to change clothes while running.

For example, right now, while the VCR that started after “Heung” is playing, I’m changing from the hanbok [traditional Korean clothing] into a costume designed with a doctor’s gown as a motif.

Of course, the other members are doing the same, but Lee Hyun-jae and I have to go up first, so we’re in much more of a hurry.

In the VCR, Lee Hyun-jae will probably be shown closing his eyes and smiling happily, ambiguously portraying whether the previous stage was a memory or a fantasy in his mind.

And then I come in, wearing a doctor’s outfit, and stare silently at him.

Then he’ll make a slightly unpleasant expression, and an even more unpleasant one when he sees the other members who followed me in.

―Why are you all here?

―We’re here to help.

Chae Ha-min grabs my shoulder slightly, making a fuss as if the words were too harsh. Ryu Iden looks like he thinks it’s understandable, and Seok-jun is just looking at Lee Hyun-jae with a sad smile.

But right now, that’s not important.

―Those are precious memories to me.

―It’s better to have no delusions.

Lee Hyun-jae slowly opens his mouth, a shocked expression on his face, his eyes conveying that he never expected to hear those words.

And when the screen turns on.

I’m struggling to catch my breath, and Lee Hyun-jae, also struggling to catch his breath, are standing back to back, looking in different directions.

I’m looking at a chalkboard covered with dissertation covers set up during the blackout, and he’s looking at a paradise radiating with flowers and trees.

Elegant classical music plays. A song composed by my mother, capturing the sad feeling of seeing fallen leaves.

Ryu Iden approached my side, and Chae Ha-min approached Lee Hyun-jae’s side. Seok-jun was sitting in the middle, bowing his head.

It is said that the vertical line arrangement schematizes the relationship between the members, showing who is closer to which side. Actually, it doesn’t matter.

The VCR is played to keep people from getting bored during the costume change, and most people come to see the quality of the performance.

Therefore, the next song will be “Cherry Blossom, Falling.”

Originally, it’s a song about the experience of throwing memories into the trash, but those who love the lore will interpret it as a song that represents Lee Hyun-jae’s feelings.

Walking alone, I step on cherry blossoms

Thinking about how we laughed while walking together

Even if I pretend to be okay

I guess I need time to sort things out

The music flows, and the initial choreography and formation are slightly changed so that the group dance formation can be formed naturally.

A little bit of free time. It’s the only time my head gets a break, so I looked at the audience.

…It’s like a Milky Way. If you said that tens of thousands of crows and magpies die there, it might be possible. A huge Milky Way.

Precious, but now

I guess I’m falling

Thinking that, I moved my mouth and body as programmed.

After the stage, there will be a short conversation time.

It’s a shame that I can’t hear their voices in what they say, but something is better than nothing.

* * *

After the stage, we were overwhelmed by the cheers.

It’s clear when Chae Ha-min opens his eyes wide in surprise and says “Wow!” without even using the microphone.

“Loomnuts [fandom name], it’s been a while since we’ve seen you on stage!”

Ryu Iden shouts, and we all wave our hands.

The standing area is so close.

I first made eye contact with the camera lens pointed at me and greeted them. I hope they’ll be a little surprised when they watch the video later.

“Everyone, today’s concert is a very special day.”

“Why?”

“Because Dong-hwa was so nervous that he tossed and turned on the bed! Dong-hwa is the kind of person who falls asleep when he thinks about ‘sleeping’!”

Script, follow the script, you damn Ryu Iden.

I secretly badmouthed Ryu Iden in my mind amidst the cheers.

But I’m used to this. How many times has Ryu Iden just thrown things at me?

If it’s trust, it’s trust, and if it’s a new kind of bullying, it’s bullying, but at least it’s definitely based on trust.

“Not only me, but Ha-min took stomach medicine yesterday. I bought it for him.”

Chae Ha-min was briefly taken aback by the comment that deviated from the script (which can be boldly summarized as hello, long time no see, are you ready to have fun?), but after grasping the flow, Seok-jun said that he was lying in the living room at dawn, hugging a few dolls and rolling around.

Seok-jun also quickly mentioned that Lee Hyun-jae had skipped several meals.

Surprisingly, they were mentioning it in the original script’s order of conversation, so the cameramen naturally zoomed in on the members’ faces.

Lee Hyun-jae smiled.

“…Iden-hyung [older brother/male friend] shouted ‘I can do it! I can do it!’ several times while looking in the bathroom mirror this morning, Loomnuts.”

I heard it this morning too.

I’m just amazed that there are people who can do that in their right mind.

“That’s right. Actually, we were very nervous! It’s our first concert, right? But because the Loomnuts are shouting, I feel like the tension is relieved a little, and we can put on a better performance.”

And then back to the script.

What a great mutt. His ad-libs are so versatile.

“What song will we perform next, everyone! A song that wouldn’t look awkward in these outfits!”

Chae Ha-min was jumping up and down, excited. The leg strength of a rabbit is considerable, so even though it looked like he was jumping lightly, the height was amazing.

The fans shouted all sorts of songs.

Seeing that even B-side tracks that didn’t get much reaction were being called out, I could see how diverse the fans’ tastes were.

“It’s Time to Wait for You!”

* * *

“I’m so excited. Ha-min-hyung!”

He had already stretched out his shrunken body and was shaking his cheering stick like crazy.

It’s all thanks to his personality, which enters a *gae-maeway* [stubborn/my way] state once he gets immersed. He wouldn’t care if the Loomnut next to him realized the existence of a male fan and was surprised.

“Time to Wait for You” wasn’t fast-paced, so I was worried that it would be dragging, but thanks to Ji Dong-hwa and the A&R team’s subtle arrangement, it was moderately exciting.

As I immersed myself in shouting the cheering slogans, I soon approached the last phrase.

The outro that Ji Dong-hwa sang alone with a lonely feeling.

But for some reason, Lee Hyun-jae and I switched parts, and Lee Hyun-jae was sitting alone with his knees hugged among the *hyungs* [older brothers/male friends] lying down.

Even if night comes and I try to close my eyes, (Tic)

The memories of you slowly approaching. (Toc)

I can’t close my eyes, so again this night (Tic)

Time to Wait for You. (Toc)

After the blackout, a spotlight shines on Lee Hyun-jae, who is left alone on the stage on the left.

The members disappearing were only seen as afterimages, and a VCR was played while Lee Hyun-jae was sitting still on the stage.

Ryu Iden and Chae Ha-min were throwing cushions at each other. They looked happy, but Chae Ha-min sometimes looked depressed, and Ryu Iden sometimes looked angry.

In the meantime, as Lee Hyun-jae slowly lay down, the VCR screen was gradually filled with blue light.

Watching the blue color fill the screen as if closing his eyes, he clutched his trembling heart.

The Loomnut sitting next to him was whispering about the lore with a friend who came with him, but he couldn’t hear it.

Cloudy Blue. It’s Cloudy Blue.

The song from the time he became a fan. How could he not be excited?

Debut song, it’s the debut song!

White clouds formed between the blue, and the sleeping members were reflected on the screen that split open as if opening their eyes again.

Everyone was wearing clothes unified in white, which Lee Hyun-jae was wearing. The stage set had changed at some point, and the vegetation and ruins were in harmony.

Whether it was remixed or not, the dreamy atmosphere was emphasized even more, making it feel like they were floating in a real ecstasy.

Ji Dong-hwa was the first to get up and look around, then made a puzzled expression.

While the other members were getting up one by one, the stage slowly rose up. Fog came out from the stage and slowly flowed down.

The stage was like a direct transfer of the music video’s overwhelming visuals, and he covered his mouth.

So pretty. In the ruins and nature, and as if on the clouds, it looked like a scene from a fairy tale.

This is the only place that’s blue in the gray world

We’re the only ones who can understand each other

The boundary between morning and night, above the cloudy waves

Everything below is black, only us

There were many movements in the original choreography where they leaned on and relied on each other, but Chae Ha-min put his head together with team leader Jang Hae-jin and the choreographer and increased it much more.

As the lyrics say, it was to highlight how they cherish and care for each other as if they couldn’t live if they weren’t here.

“This is paradise.”

He hadn’t understood why paradise was included in the concert title, but he was able to understand it with just this one stage.

Cloudy Blue―, mixed into each other

Everything else is hidden by the clouds

As Lee Hyun-jae sang and slowly leaned back, the members except Ji Dong-hwa supported him. Lee Hyun-jae covered his eyes himself, but he was smiling.

Someone whispered something next to him again due to the changed choreography, but he couldn’t hear it this time either.

Pretty, beautiful, as an art student, that one fact was important to him.

* * *

Watching Lee Hyun-jae cover his eyes, I looked down expressionlessly as requested by the company.

But my eyes perceive much more.

From the scenery of the stage to the expressions of the people in the audience. The eyes that focus on the stage seemed to shine more than the cheering sticks.

The effort put into preparing this stage was truly enormous, enough to erase all past memories, from remixes to choreography revisions to movement revisions.

And, we’re showing it now.

That simple fact overwhelms me for a moment.

The first song we sang, the first song we composed for us, is being reborn on a beautiful stage.

The Lee Hyun-jae in front of me was taller, and the members supporting him also had more mature faces.

…Damn it, it’s touching. I never knew that singing our debut song at a concert would have this kind of symbolism.

I bit my lip slightly to suppress my emotions. It was closer to being overwhelmed or sad than expressionless, but it was only for a brief moment.

I hope no one saw it.

I prayed like that and continued on to the next movement (of course, I later learned that my face was zoomed in on at the timing when I was overwhelmed, so everyone saw it together).

The next stage is naturally ‘The Last Start’.

It’s the turning point where the tempo of the concert picks up in earnest.

We need to focus because even a slight delay in tempo is in the front part, and the back part mostly requires a lot of stamina and has dance breaks inserted.

Blue―, only us in the collapsed world

But―, ignore everything else

Bloom―, a sea where clouds bloom

Bet―, forever with just us (Shh―)

As Seok-jun’s part flowed, everyone closed their eyes and leaned on each other as if collapsing.

I also slowly leaned back, and the song ended in a formation where we were sitting leaning on each other.

Now, this is it.

We secretly burst the ink pouches that were attached to our clothes in advance.

Black light staining the white clothes. It’s a preliminary preparation for the last start.