Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 335

I Didn’t Plan to Become an Idol – Episode 335 (303/343)

[Unbelievable Tour Preview.JPG]

(Ji Dong-hwa is wearing an indescribable, utterly bizarre outfit, with colors that seem to contain the universe itself. The top has no definable shape—one side is a short sleeve, the other a long sleeve with a hole near the shoulder where his hand is pulled through. He wears red leather pants cut off halfway up the thigh on one side, and a see-through coat with a peacock-inspired design, topped with a balloon crown. People are staring intensely, but he carries himself with an arrogant gaze, as if it’s only natural.)

“Ah?”

— I’ve given up trying to understand, honestly.

— Please, guys, please! It’s too hard to make X-tube clips [referring to fan-made video compilations]! Just tone it down a little! Editing all this will make me give up on my real life!

— Ah, it’s ridiculous that he’s still handsome even like this ㅅㅂ [Korean slang expressing disbelief/frustration]….

└ Slim and beautiful body line. Just once, can I touch it? I’m ready to go to the police, Dong-hwa.

└ You’re such a pervert ㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋ [Korean laughter slang, similar to ‘lololol’]

— Every time I see him, I realize Dong-hwa’s proportions are insane.

└ A pitiful body line buried in madness.

— Ji Dong-hwa, the unofficial king of madness, boasting the dignity of a king, the crown on his head proves everything…

[Unbelievable Preview 2.JPG]

(Ryu Iden’s walking photo. Ryu Iden is wearing pink shorts made of padding, a top that is torn and draped as if it’s falling apart, and a hat that looks over 50 centimeters tall, with the crown Ji Dong-hwa made fixed on top. Ryu Iden exudes his unique, king-like dignity.)

(For some reason, Chae Ha-min was wearing a dress. The designer experimentally designed it for men, emphasizing the male body line while incorporating the soft elegance unique to skirts. Chae Ha-min exuded a subtle sexiness thanks to his suggestive looks and insane body line.)

Ah, I really don’t know. Is this good, bad, funny, or should I be impressed? I’m sure I’ll be more serious about my stan life [dedication to being a fan], but I don’t even know why, really.

— Iden’s expression is so ㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ It’s like a broadcast-safe version of The Emperor’s New Clothes ㅋㅌㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋ

└ But the fact that he’s wearing the madness king crown is so ㅈㄴㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋ [Korean slang for ‘really’ combined with laughter] It’s such a convincing coordi [short for ‘coordination,’ referring to the outfit] ㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

— Ah, they’re still handsome even like this, the world is so unfair. I spend two hours coordinating before going out, but they wear those rags and still… Ha,..,.. I’m jealous of my own idol ㅅㅂ [Korean slang expressing frustration]….

— Ha-min, please… just perform on stage once in that outfit…

└ Found a pervert.

└ No, but he started it first!

— So why are our flowers like this?????

└ Let’s give up.

└ Ah ㅅㅂ ㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ [Korean slang expressing frustration combined with laughter] Let’s just give up for now ㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

What is this, really? It’s like a fashion student was working on their graduation project and the save file got corrupted, so they were like, ‘Hehe, I don’t know, F it, screw it all.’ The clothes are filled with all sorts of anger towards the world.

Lee Hyun-jae was reading the comments next to me, one line at a time, which only deepened my despair.

“Hyung, hyung. Fans say your leg line is the most beautiful of any they’ve ever seen. They’re planning to print it in high definition in B2 size [a standard paper size] and hang it up.”

“…Okay.”

It’s a compliment, but I just don’t have the strength to accept it. From the moment I went down to the market, a merchant next to me was cursing at me, and I almost lost my mind for a moment.

“I should print one too. If I make it into a T-shirt and give it to Junie hyung, he’d be grateful and wear it well.”

You’re definitely not planning to get your hands dirty, Hyun-jae. Using Seok-jun like that is really not right.

If Ryu Iden had won, he would have done an even worse penalty. I’m so glad I won. Ryu Iden has never played rock-paper-scissors fairly and is weak in psychological warfare, so, really…….

Ryu Iden was also slapping his red cheeks, trying to cool down while wearing that ridiculous hat.

“…I don’t think I could have done this in Korea.”

“There were worse things than this.”

“What does that PD [Production Director] even do? Why does he buy and collect those clothes, and why does he make those penalties, I really…….”

Ryu Iden, who doesn’t usually like to badmouth people behind their backs, was the first to express his doubts. I can agree with him any number of times.

“We need to kick him out.”

My ambition. I’ve never wanted power in the company, but these days I’m thinking that it wouldn’t be bad to gain power just to get rid of that PD bastard.

He’s probably planning another broadcast right now.

“But the fans really like his plans.”

“It’s been further improved since PD Kyung-woo joined, damn it.”

Around a human who has extremely refined the art of screwing people over, there’s a talented PD who’s good at the overall video. What a crazy situation.

At that moment, Chae Ha-min opened the car door and came in wearing a dress.

“Heuha, that was a fun experience.”

“Hyung, there’s a comment saying they want you to make and sell a life-size cutout of your photo.”

“Should we?”

What do you mean ‘should we,’ you ignorant of shame. Walking around the streets of Seoul with bunny ears is shameful, but that’s okay? I’d rather walk around with cat ears.

[Are you admitting you’re a cat.]

Shut up, Giji-saeng [a parasitic being; here, a derogatory term for the inner voice]. I can swear at you today.

[It’s barbaric!]

“…Aren’t you embarrassed?”

“Huh? Yeah. It’s just normal menswear, isn’t it?”

That’s not normal menswear by any means. A Greek mythology-style dress made of fabric with the phrase ‘MAN IS THE NEW BLACK’ repeatedly patterned on it. If that’s normal, I’m going to throw away all the clothes I have at home.

“And I know this designer, they’re quite famous. This dress is probably quite expensive!”

If Chae Ha-min says something is ‘somewhat’ expensive, it’s definitely ‘quite’ expensive. But why did he buy such clothes with his own money, and why is he trying to make us wear them instead of wearing them himself?

“That PD bastard…….”

“That PD-nim [term of respect]…….”

Ryu Iden and I muttered at the same time. I took off the damn balloon crown and sighed deeply.

Since when did that bastard start loving us so much? No, more than that, why are all the industry people who love us, except for the fans, either dangerous or crazy, one of the two?

“…Are you satisfied?”

I asked Ryu Iden. Is this the ending you wanted?

“…Can I be honest?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m too satisfied, but please don’t hit me.”

“I was satisfied too!”

Yeah, you guys would rather be together in hell than enjoy paradise alone.

“…Okay.”

“Hyung.”

“Yeah.”

“I was thinking while filming you hyungs [older brothers/male friends] walking.”

“Yeah.”

“No matter how I look at it, hyung is the cause.”

“Stop.”

It’s better for me to not know the truth, Hyun-jae. I need to not know that small truth that this collective madness started with my meeting with you, so I can live happily ever after.

[In fact, Ha-min has been most influenced by you.]

Stop. I said I’m going to swear today.

“Can’t we put this outfit on the tour stage? It’s a shame to only wear it once.”

Chae Ha-min was spouting crazy things like it was everyday life. After hearing the truth from Giji-saeng’s mouth, my stomach felt like it was burning.

“Dong-hwa, our duet stage…….”

“No, Ha-min.”

“Huh?”

I never want to wear those red leather pants with a techwear-inspired design that only comes down to the thigh on one side again.

“Hyung.”

“What, dog.”

“Your reaction is so different when Hyun-jae calls you…. Anyway, if I had won.”

Quiet, there’s absolutely no way you’d win.

“I would have chosen something even worse.”

This is our group. I already knew it, but I really know it again, damn it.

* * *

The tour schedule proceeded quickly after the so-called Blossense high fashion incident. Since there are no other shootings, it will be a repetition of route checks, rehearsals, stages, and the next flight.

“Therefore, let’s work, Hyun-jae.”

I have to somehow divert the fans’ attention from that damn incident. Recently, whether it’s cafes, personal sites, or SNS [Social Networking Services], everywhere I go, there’s only talk about those three humans wearing those damn rags. I absolutely, really…….

I tried to divert attention using W app [likely a social media app], greetings messages, and childhood photos, but the power of that photo was so great that it just wouldn’t die down.

“Yes?”

Lee Hyun-jae, who was chewing on bread with jam with still sleepy eyes, was startled and opened his eyes.

“Work?”

A slightly wary look.

“What is it?”

“Duet song.”

“…That’s not even composed yet.”

Lee Hyun-jae took a sip of milk to clear his throat and continued.

“Not all done, by any chance, is it all done?”

“Yeah.”

“No, we talked about that a week ago…….”

Lee Hyun-jae chuckled as if he was wondering what he was saying.

“…Okay, it’s probably all done.”

And then.

“The source of madness after all.”

“Hyun-jae.”

“Our muse.”

Plato found the origin of art in a state of mad enthusiasm, and believed that when creating great poetry, it was like the goddess Muse was briefly possessing you.

“Hmm.”

It’s admirable that you’re trying to humiliate me based on such historical facts.

“Anyway, I was wondering if we could write the lyrics together.”

“Is the theme the same as what we talked about then?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ve already got the gist of it.”

Wow.

“You’re not in a position to talk about others.”

You told me I’m obsessed with work in a roundabout way, but you’re the same.

“The lyrics have to be rewritten to fit the syllables, so it’s more of a waste of time, right?”

We leisurely ate hotel breakfast. There’s a rehearsal tomorrow for the performance, so we need to eat well. We’ll be too busy to eat anything at night.

“But what are you talking about?”

Ryu Iden, who seemed to like it, appeared wearing the ‘Madness King Crown’ beyond the contract period and sat next to me.

“Didn’t we decide to make a duet song when we were manipulating the statistics?”

“Well, it was then, but we talked about it much earlier.”

“Yeah. During the first performance rehearsal.”

Back in the day, on the day of the first performance rehearsal, we ended up monitoring a video together. A beautiful video made by a professor from Germany, summarizing our worldview story in a concise and symbolic way.

There was a scene where Lee Hyun-jae and I were just looking into each other’s eyes for almost 7 seconds without saying a word, and I, who was interested in the pale color tone and mise-en-scène [the arrangement of scenery and stage properties] of the props, spoke to Lee Hyun-jae.

* * *

“What do you think.”

It was a sentence without beginning or end, but Lee Hyun-jae, who was already used to such questions from reading novels together, immediately answered.

“Well, if it were me, I would have hit either me or hyung in the head with the flowerpot next to me.”

Lee Hyun-jae was wearing casual clothes and tilted his head once.

“But, I don’t think I could kill hyung, so I’d probably die? One of us has to die for that conflict to end.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Lee Hyun-jae’s firm answer, that’s where the duet song idea came from in the first place. It was just used as bait to screw over Ryu Iden.