A Surgeon Who Uses Martial Arts [EN]: Chapter 179

Chapter 33 Parabola (4)

“P-Please let go of me. Quickly.”

“You mustn’t touch the surgical site. You know that, don’t you?”

“Still, I’m too scared and anxious. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

Myunghan looked up at Junhoo with a terrified expression.

In fact, Myunghan had been full of enthusiasm before the surgery started.

He could listen to his favorite song, which he had played himself, in the sterile operating room, and there was an electronic keyboard on his thigh.

Encouraged by the more familiar environment than expected, Myunghan mustered his courage.

He would help the staff and overcome the awake surgery.

But as time passed.

His will was feebly broken.

The good things were taken for granted, and the bad things felt magnified.

First of all, the cool air in the operating room was unpleasant. He also hated the pungent smell of disinfectant.

The fact that his head was open and his brain was exposed was also unsettling.

The tingling nerve stimulation caused fear.

It felt like even a minor mistake by the staff could leave him unable to use a part of his body.

He knew it was paranoia, but.

The staff’s exchange of medical terms felt like they were hiding something from him.

“D-Doctor… I’m suffocating. My chest hurts, too.”

Myunghan’s face crumpled.

Only then did Junhoo release Myunghan’s wrist.

“Do you think you’re having a panic attack?”

“Yes. I think I’ll collapse if the surgery continues. Please let me rest for a moment.”

“Professor, Myunghan’s condition is very bad. I think we need to take a break.”

“Let’s do that.”

With Myunghan requesting a break, the surgery was temporarily suspended.

The staff exchanged words, but Myunghan couldn’t hear any of it.

Myunghan was just scared and anxious.

He was merely dragged around as a prisoner of the physical symptoms derived from fear and anxiety.

Cold sweat began to break out all over his body.

His hair stood on end.

Goosebumps rose on his skin.

I want to overcome this, too.

I want to continue my career as a pianist healthily in the future.

Damn it!

Damn!

Why am I only this much?

Myunghan scolded himself for being weak and sensitive.

It wasn’t like Myunghan enjoyed holding the staff back like this.

But what could he do if things didn’t go his way?

Away from the piano, Myunghan was a mediocre simpleton and fool.

“Myunghan, try to calm down and take a deep breath.”

Junhoo said in a kind voice, making eye contact with Myunghan.

“Deep breaths… don’t work.”

“Trust me and follow along. You can do it. You only have to endure for 20 more minutes.”

“20 minutes will feel like 2 years. Just put me to sleep. I’ll get regular surgery.”

Myunghan shook his body violently, expressing his refusal.

* * *

Ha… Is this how it ends?

Junhoo bit his lip in dismay.

Myunghan had completely lost control.

He was just trembling, with his eyes closed.

It seemed impossible to continue the awake surgery in this state.

To make this surgery a success.

He had observed his teacher’s surgery.

He had played music in the operating room.

He had even prepared an electronic keyboard, but everything was on the verge of falling apart.

Since there was a risk that Myunghan would put his hand on his head again, Junhoo couldn’t leave Myunghan’s side.

Instead, he just listened to Donghoon and Chanyoung’s conversation.

“Professor, what should we do now? The patient is adamantly refusing surgery.”

“We still have to continue. We can’t give up here.”

“Can he endure the surgery in this condition?”

Chanyoung pointed to the patient and asked in an anxious voice.

“Still, he’ll be better than he is now if we administer a sedative.”

“Didn’t you say that administering a sedative could dull the patient’s response and cause errors in mapping [brain mapping]?”

“Of course, it won’t be perfect. We’re just making the second-best choice because the best choice isn’t possible.”

Donghoon’s brow furrowed.

Donghoon also seemed quite disappointed by the patient’s sudden seizure.

If there hadn’t been a seizure, the surgery would have been successful.

“Junhoo, what percentage of the mapping is done?”

Donghoon’s gaze turned to Junhoo.

“About 30 percent is finished.”

“I’m glad we were able to do at least 30 percent properly. Did you get the psychiatric documents from the guardian?”

“Yes, I did. The patient was taking alprazolam [a medication used to treat anxiety and panic disorders] regularly.”

“Then let’s administer 1mg IV (intravenous line) as an injection.”

“…….”

“What are you doing? Why aren’t you going to the supply room?”

Even with Donghoon’s urging, Junhoo’s steps didn’t fall easily.

Junhoo didn’t like the feeling of kneeling down to something.

He didn’t want to give up on this complete awake surgery.

Because he felt wronged.

Because all his efforts so far were becoming futile.

Is there really no other way?

Is there no way out in the collapsing sky?

After pondering, Junhoo opened his mouth.

“Professor, I’m very sorry to say this, but…”

“Why are you hesitating like that?”

“Professor Park Jaehyun came to observe, so how about listening to Professor Park’s opinion?”

Junhoo’s voice was as cautious as walking on thin ice.

This is because it is rude to bring up the teacher’s story in front of the surgeon.

The person in charge and conductor of this surgery was Donghoon, no matter what anyone said.

At Junhoo’s suggestion, Donghoon raised his head and stayed in the observation operating room located on the opposite second floor.

A long and heavy silence wrapped around the operating room for a long time.

“At least… it would be good to hear the story.”

* * *

It was unstable from the beginning…

Jaehyun shook his head, watching the monitor for observation.

The patient had a panic attack and the surgery was stopped. This was an unfortunate mishap and a scheduled misfortune at the same time.

In the first place, this patient should not have undergone awake surgery.

Those engaged in the arts have particularly delicate souls.

Most of them struggled to handle awake surgery.

What’s more, if they have panic disorder, the difficulty level rises vertically (although he heard about the panic disorder later).

“Oh, my. What a disgrace to have such a precious guest…”

Sungdeok frowned and moved to the desk where the telephone connected to the operating room was located.

Jaehyun knew the meaning of that very well.

Sungdeok would surely scold the staff.

Ring~.

Just in time, the observation operating room received a call first.

“Are you guys kidding me right now? What will happen to my reputation if you do surgery like this? Huh?”

-…….

“So?”

-…….

“Okay. Don’t hang up and wait.”

Sungdeok held the phone in his hand and looked at Jaehyun. A humble smile was already on Sungdeok’s lips.

“Director Park?”

“Yes, tell me.”

“I need to borrow Director Park’s wisdom. Professor Shin is going to administer a sedative and continue the awake surgery… What do you think, Professor Park?”

Jaehyun did not answer immediately and stared at the monitor. He looked at the staff who were dejected.

Among them, the figure of his disciple, Junhoo, was stuck in his eyes like a thorn.

Jaehyun knew very well how hard Junhoo had worked for this surgery.

He visited Jewon University on his days off to observe his surgery.

He benchmarked this and played a great role in today’s surgery.

He played piano music in the operating room and even prepared an electronic keyboard.

It was all thanks to Junhoo’s brilliant wit that Myunghan was able to endure the awake surgery.

But he had to drive a nail into Junhoo’s heart himself.

He couldn’t feel comfortable.

Jaehyun let out a deep sigh without realizing it.

“Tell me honestly. We’ll take responsibility anyway.”

“…….”

“Director Park?”

“My judgment is not always correct. You must know this.”

“Of course, of course.”

“If it were me, I would stop the awake surgery and switch to general brain tumor surgery.”

Jaehyun bit his lip and answered.

* * *

Chanyoung, who had finished talking to the observation operating room on the telephone in the operating room entrance, returned to the operating table.

What kind of news would Chanyoung bring?

What kind of judgment would Jaehyun make?

Junhoo perked up his ears early on.

“Professor, there were two messages: one from Professor Park Jaehyun and one from Director.”

“Okay. Tell me.”

“First of all, Professor Park Jaehyun recommended that we stop the awake surgery.”

“Give up after coming all the way here? That’s ridiculous.”

Donghoon’s brow furrowed as he answered.

Junhoo also felt a sense of rejection.

He couldn’t believe that his teacher, who never gave up, would recommend stopping the surgery.

It felt like an unlike judgment from his teacher.

“What was the reason?”

“He said that if awake surgery with sedatives is also incomplete and general tumor resection [surgical removal of a tumor] is also incomplete.”

“…….”

“We should choose the one that causes less harm to the patient. He said that the former may cause trauma to the patient.”

“Damn it. Isn’t not being able to play the piano a trauma?”

Thump!

Donghoon stomped his feet and burst into anger.

“So, what’s the director’s message?”

“That’s… he told me to unconditionally follow Professor Park’s opinion. If you can’t succeed in awake surgery, go for the safest option…”

“Both this guy and that guy are eager to control me. Do they see me as a pushover?”

“Professor, please calm down…”

“Am I in a situation to calm down right now? Would you calm down if you were Chanyoung?”

Donghoon was furious, and the atmosphere in the operating room became a mess once again.

Junhoo felt that the surgery was going awry as there were too many boatmen [too many people giving orders].

It seemed that both awake surgery using sedatives and general brain tumor surgery would fail.

The good flow and team chemistry from the beginning were long gone.

Do we really have to end this so miserably?

The awake surgery?

Myunghan’s life as a pianist?

Junhoo actually didn’t like Donghoon’s judgment, and he didn’t like his teacher’s judgment either.

Because neither was the best option.

The best way was, of course, for Myunghan to endure the awake surgery while in his right mind.

Junhoo’s gaze turned to Myunghan again.

Myunghan was still scanning his surroundings with anxious eyes.

His delicate body was trembling.

He didn’t seem to know what the staff were saying.

Should he say that he was out of his mind?

Damn it!

It’s all or nothing.

Isn’t it just a matter of trying now?

Junhoo made eye contact with Myunghan and prepared his mind’s eye [a martial arts technique].

A martial art that elevates the opponent’s spirit by imbuing inner energy with right thought.

As he drew up his inner energy, Junhoo aroused the right thoughts.

Calm your mind.

This situation may be scary, but you can overcome it.

You have the power to do so.

Inner energy and right thought were mixed together and formed in Junhoo’s eyes.

As a result, Junhoo’s eyes turned blue for a moment.

He thought it was a success, but it was a failure.

Myunghan still couldn’t hide his anxiety.

He didn’t know if the reason for the failure was lack of practice.

But there was no point in asking why now.

The surgery was already heading for disaster.

“Bring alprazolam. We’re going to continue the awake surgery.”

“Professor, please reconsider. The director has repeatedly asked. We don’t know what will happen if we disobey the director’s orders.”

“Then tell the director to come down and do the surgery himself.”

“But…”

“You’re not going to listen to me, are you? Okay, then I’ll go get it myself.”

Donghoon stomped off to the supply room himself.

“Junhoo, try to stop the professor. Huh? He doesn’t listen to me at all.”

Chanyoung sent an SOS, but Junhoo did not answer immediately.

His insides were boiling.

This was the first time he had felt so frustrated, annoyed, and angry in modern times.

It is said that if you endure three times, you can avoid murder…

Even after engraving patience ten times, Junhoo’s anger did not subside easily.

Junhoo looked up at the ceiling of the operating room for a moment and then stared at Myunghan again.

Damn it. Let’s really get our act together!

Huh?

You said you wanted to get awake surgery.

You said you wanted to continue working as a pianist.

That’s why you hid your panic disorder.

Then, shouldn’t you have been a little more courageous?

Are you going to keep trembling in fear?

Then you shouldn’t have said you were going to get awake surgery in the first place.

Can’t you see that the staff is falling apart because of you?

Don’t you feel any guilt or remorse after seeing this?

Please get a grip.

You are the one who will save you.

You are also the one who will save us.

Please realize that.

The inner energy drawn from the dantian [a center of energy in the body] was mixed again with the emotions that were raging like a storm.

But what should he say?

He felt strange.

The mind’s eye that Junhoo had unfolded a little while ago had thoughts and inner energy separated like water and oil.

This time, the mind’s eye felt like thoughts, emotions, and inner energy were mixed into one.

So Junhoo put that energy in his eyes and stared straight at Myunghan.

Junhoo’s eyes were reflected in Myunghan’s eyes.

Junhoo’s eyes were a deep blue color, unlike before.

Not only that.

Before he knew it, Myunghan’s eyes were the same color as Junhoo’s.

After a while, Myunghan’s eyes returned to brown.

After that, Myunghan changed 180 degrees.

The trembling of his body disappeared.

His eyes were filled with courage.

“Doctor. Please continue the awake surgery. I think I can endure it.”

“Yes?”

At this point, Junhoo was the one who was surprised.

It was as if the mind’s eye that he had unfolded recklessly had succeeded instead.

What kind of trick is this?

“Anyway, I don’t like anything. Seo Junhoo, get out of the way quickly. I’m going to inject the patient with a sedative.”

Donghoon, who had returned from the supply room, stood next to Junhoo.

He had a syringe in one hand.

“I don’t need sedatives. I can overcome it myself. I’m sorry for only showing you my bad side.”

“Are you serious?”

Donghoon had a bewildered expression at Myunghan’s rapid-fire words.

It wasn’t something a person who had just fallen into a panic would say.

“Yes. I have to get my act together now. I insisted on awake surgery because I wanted to continue working as a pianist, and I hid my panic disorder…”

“…….”

“I can’t keep trembling forever. You guys are having a hard time because of me. I’m ashamed.”

“…….”

“Now I will help myself and help you.”

Surprisingly, Myunghan was reciting the emotions and words that Junhoo had been thinking in his mind.