Dr. Shin Seonhan: The Doctor Who Sees The Future [EN]: Chapter 78

#78 Breath (9)

The professor looked at me, seemingly surprised.

His expression seemed to say, ‘What is this intern trying to say?’

The nurses beside him also looked surprised.

How dare an intern open their mouth while the professor is making his rounds?

Even as the attending physician, it was unheard of.

It was quite a courageous act for me as well.

“If the symptoms you mentioned, Professor, were to appear the day before the exam, she might not be able to take the exam at all.”

I spoke to Song-yi’s mother in a small but audible voice, then closed my mouth.

Only then did Song-yi’s mother’s expression begin to change little by little.

As expected.

The words ‘might not be able to take the exam’ seemed to have moved her.

Then the professor spoke again.

“As this doctor says, there is a high possibility of a pneumothorax [collapsed lung] recurrence. We don’t know when it will happen.”

“Then, Doctor, please operate and discharge her as quickly as possible. You can do that much, right?”

Song-yi’s mother spoke as if she were doing him a favor by conceding a step.

“If her progress is good after the surgery, she can be discharged in three to four days, so let’s wait and see how well she recovers.”

At the professor’s words, Song-yi’s mother finally seemed to agree to the surgery and said to her daughter.

“Song-yi, you can get surgery and recover quickly, right?”

“Okay, Mom… I’ll try.”

With that, Professor Han Sang-ki barely persuaded Song-yi’s mother and moved on to the next patient.

Thud, thud.

As he walked down the hallway, I wondered why smoke seemed to be rising from the professor’s head…

“Are all high school senior mothers like that? I thought I was talking to my wife.”

The professor shook his head, looking drained.

Come to think of it, the professor had a child about Song-yi’s age.

I realized that test-takers and those around them must be under a lot of stress.

As I was thinking this and walking, the professor turned to me and said.

“Still, it worked because a young friend like you spoke. You said it very appropriately.”

“No, it’s nothing.”

Suddenly, praise?

I answered awkwardly.

It was unfamiliar to have this kind of conversation with the professor during rounds.

“Aren’t you the most recent one to have gone through the college entrance exam? That patient must be under a lot of stress too. Go and talk to her often.”

“Yes, I will talk to both the student and her guardian.”

The professor nodded.

I felt strange.

It was the first time during rounds that the professor had specifically pointed me out and given me instructions.

I also felt like I was gradually being recognized as ‘Intern Shin Seon-han’ rather than ‘an intern who is forgotten after a month.’

* * *

That night.

Song-yi couldn’t fall asleep.

She felt depressed.

The ceiling of the six-person room felt stuffy and unfamiliar.

‘So much has happened in the last two days.’

Going to a concert—

Taking an ambulance for the first time—

Having a hole drilled in her chest—

Getting scolded by her mom—

And when she came to her senses, she was facing surgery tomorrow.

She had to have part of her lung cut out, or something like that.

She wished someone would comfort her, but there was no one there now.

“Yang Song-yi, you can sleep alone tonight, right?”

After saying that, her mom went home.

The reason was to bring daily necessities and workbooks needed during her hospitalization.

So, at this hour.

Song-yi was alone.

Left alone in the hospital room, Song-yi couldn’t fall asleep until after 12 a.m.

‘I’m scared.’

When she heard that her lung was deformed, Song-yi was terrified.

But, her mom’s reaction was disappointing.

It was as if she was more worried about her not being able to study than her health.

‘What if the surgery goes wrong tomorrow and I die?’

Rattle, rattle—

Song-yi tossed and turned restlessly.

All sorts of bad thoughts began to fill her mind.

Once the anxiety started, it grew bigger and bigger, like a snowball rolling down from the top of the Himalayas…

In Song-yi’s heart, all sorts of negative emotions swept in like an avalanche.

‘Will Mom be sad when I die?’

She nags me to study every day, but…

If I die.

Will things be different?

As she thought that, tears suddenly welled up in her eyes.

Even after I die, the world will go on, right?

Someone else will sit in my empty seat at school…

Thinking that made her feel strange.

Yang Song-yi, 17 years old.

It was the first time in her life that she had thought about her death in such concrete terms.

‘Ugh, damn… I want to eat tteokbokki [spicy rice cakes] in the midst of all this. If I had known this would happen, I would have eaten all the food I wanted to eat.’

Hiccup, hiccup.

Song-yi wiped the tears that were pooling under her pillow.

Then, she heard someone speak from the bed next to her.

“Student, are you crying?”

The guardian of the patient next to her asked with a worried voice.

It seemed they had heard Song-yi’s sobs.

“No, I’m sorry for disturbing your sleep.”

In the end, Song-yi pulled the IV stand and went outside.

It throbbed where the chest tube was inserted every time she moved, but it seemed better than being in the hospital room.

Thud, thud.

She walked down the empty hallway and sat alone in the lounge with a few sofas and a TV.

“Hoo.”

Song-yi looked at the shadow cast at her feet and thought.

What if my soul wanders in a space like an empty universe after I die?

It would be so scary.

Song-yi was filled with all sorts of thoughts in the quiet lounge.

“Still, I’m glad I went to the Carbonated Boys concert before I died.”

Hiccup.

Song-yi wiped her tears and turned on her smartphone.

I need to record my feelings at this moment.

Click—

Song-yi took a picture while holding the chest tube with one hand, then uploaded it to social media and wrote a post.

—One day before surgery… I have to have my lung cut out, so I’m having all sorts of thoughts and crying alone in the hospital ㅠㅠㅠ If the surgery goes well, I’m really going to live without regrets #DailyLife #Thoughts

Despite the fact that it was past 12 a.m., her online friends’ reactions continued in real time.

—Huh?!

—Mushroom-nim, surgery ㅠㅠㅠ

—Cutting out a lung ㄷㄷ I hope the surgery goes well!

—What’s going on, Mushroom-nim, right after the concert ㅠㅠㅠ Get well soon and let’s stan [support/be a fan of] together healthily!

As expected, only otaku [geek/enthusiast] friends.

Fan club acquaintances of .

Some were of similar age, and there was even a thirty-year-old unnie [older sister/female friend].

Sometimes, they felt more connected than her school friends or family.

Song-yi felt a little better and replied to a few mentions.

Tap, tap.

Her fingers moved quickly.

—Thank you for your concern! I’m okay ㅠㅠ Actually, in the midst of all this, my attending physician is so handsome that I’m getting butterflies…… LOL Soon, mentions began to pour in in real time.

—LOL

—Not in the midst of all this?

—Mushroom-nim is such a face genius [someone who is very attracted to good-looking people] LOL

—How handsome is the doctor?

Song-yi immediately replied as if she had been waiting for it.

—I’m hospitalized at Yeon-guk University Hospital, and the famous Gangnam Station intern is my attending physician!

Shin Seon-han’s fame was already widely known on social media.

Sure enough.

The reaction was quite hot.

—Really?

—Wow, daebak [amazing]! LOL

—What’s he like in person?

—The most handsome doctor I’ve ever seen LOL My face genius life is in the biggest crisis. He’s handsome in a different way than our Ban Jin-ho.

Tap, tap.

Song-yi began to vividly share her experiences.

But then.

“Song-yi?”

She heard someone calling her.

Song-yi was startled and looked up.

A doctor in a white coat was looking down at her.

It was the very doctor she had been talking about on social media just a moment ago.

Oh my.

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear; she never thought she would meet him so suddenly.

“What’s wrong? Are you out here because you’re in pain?”

Seon-han asked with a worried look.

Song-yi’s face turned red, and she shook her head, hiding her phone in her pocket.

“No! I’m not in pain!”

“Then why?”

“Just, I can’t sleep.”

Song-yi wiped her face quickly.

She was embarrassed because it seemed like there were still tear stains on her eyes.

“You’re worried about the surgery.”

“Yes…”

What the.

Why is my tone like this?

Why is a nasal sound coming out?

Yang Song-yi was embarrassed by her own awful voice.

Shin Seon-han smiled for a moment and sat next to Song-yi.

“It’s your first time being hospitalized for surgery, right?”

“Yes…”

Song-yi gathered her knees and made an awkward expression.

“I can’t sleep because I’m thinking about getting surgery tomorrow… What do you think it would be like if you were me, Doctor?”

“Well. As a doctor, I see a lot of more serious cases here.”

“What kind of cases?”

“Patients who have to have their large intestine cut out and used as their esophagus, for example.”

“Huh…?”

Song-yi was horrified.

Using the intestines as the esophagus?

She had never heard of a patient who had to go that far.

Seeing him talk about such terrible stories as if they were nothing, she thought that he really was a doctor.

“Or cases where a passage is created between the esophagus and the aorta, causing blood to gush out of the mouth like a fountain.”

“Huh. Is this a horror movie? It’s scary…”

“The grandmother next to Song-yi has bacteria growing in her lungs, causing her lungs to rot. She has to have a larger part of her lung cut out than Song-yi.”

Song-yi’s face turned pale.

There really are so many people in the world who are sick in various ways.

Hearing that story, her own story of having a small hole in her lung and having to cut out a part of it felt like nothing.

“Compared to that, Song-yi’s CCAM [congenital cystic adenomatoid malformation] is not a very serious disease. Rather, it’s fortunate that it was discovered now.”

“Ah… The name of the disease is too difficult, and I can’t find it well even if I search online. So I was even more scared.”

“Don’t worry too much because it’s not a terminal illness. The surgery that Song-yi will have tomorrow is a relatively simple surgery that we do here like eating, and most people are discharged without any problems.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

There was a gentle smile on Seon-han’s face as he said that.

‘Ah… He was trying to comfort me from the beginning.’

Song-yi glanced at Seon-han’s profile.

What should I say.

She thought he was a doctor who gave her a slightly strange feeling.

He seemed warm, but also strangely cold…

Anyway, listening to Seon-han’s words, Song-yi felt relieved without realizing it.

“Thank you, Doctor.”

Song-yi bowed her head.

After coming to the hospital, it seemed like no one really understood her anxious feelings.

The professor was the same, and her mom was the same.

But…

With Seon-han’s kind words, her heart melted away.

Thinking that made him look even cooler.

Song-yi mustered up her courage and opened her mouth.

“But Doctor, while you’re comforting me, can you do me a favor?”

“A favor?”

“Yes. It’s very simple and trivial.”

Seon-han tilted his head.

Suddenly, a favor?