A Child Who Resembles Me [EN]: Chapter 154

154. The Changing Time

Jiheon heard Youngmi’s voice from outside the hospital room. He’d heard that she hadn’t said a word to the caregiver all day, but the fact that she was speaking, even in her weakened state, showed how desperate his mother must have been.

But Jiheon couldn’t easily accept it, even with his mother’s voice and breathing sounding so pitiful.

In a fleeting moment, his life flashed before his eyes. In his thirty-three years—excluding the three years he’d lost his memory—his mother’s voice had always been nearby.

She spoke words of love, wanted to be loved by him, and paved the way for his future. It might have been a safe and comfortable path, but it wasn’t what Jiheon wanted.

His mother, who had always been so stubborn, was suddenly apologizing for the past.

Jiheon clenched his fist, which hung at his side.

Jiheon’s lack of sincerity in everything was due to his mother’s influence. His negative and cynical attitude was also due to her. Therefore, he didn’t easily believe in changing hearts.

*Forgive me because I’m sick. Love me because I’m sick.*

He couldn’t respond if that was her intention.

Even if that wasn’t her intention, he couldn’t accept it. He could tell just by looking at Jungeo’s eyes the moment he entered the hospital room that Jungeo was also embarrassed by the situation.

Even the person who forgives needs time. He thought he didn’t have to answer the awkward apology right away.

“Overcome this. Get healthy and apologize again. I’ll keep waiting.”

Jiheon made what he felt was the best decision and took Jungeo’s hand.

“I’ll be going now. Don’t skip meals.”

Pulled by Jiheon’s hand, Jungeo hurriedly bowed her head and left the hospital room.

Jiheon’s pace, which had been fast as if he was angry when he left the hospital room, calmed down when he reached the elevator.

But Jungeo’s heart fluttered even more afterward. The moment she went down to the parking lot and opened the car door, tears fell.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

Jiheon, who had worn a stiff expression all along, asked with a flustered look. Jungeo shook her head and sat in the passenger seat.

Jiheon followed Jungeo, got into the driver’s seat, and watched Jungeo’s tears fall. He didn’t know what to do for a while, then carefully asked,

“…Is this not it? Did I do something wrong?”

“No. No…”

Jungeo shook her head. Even as she wiped away her tears, they kept falling.

“Then what’s wrong?”

She had been going to accept her mother-in-law’s apology. She was about to say that she would accept her heart, but Jiheon had come into the hospital room and spoken the words that were sitting deep in her heart instead.

*How many thoughts and worries must have flashed through his mind in that fleeting moment?*

*How much pain did you feel when you said those words?*

*How scared were you, and how scared are you now?*

In that urgent situation, she was grateful and sorry for his decisiveness in telling his mother what he wanted, even with a wounded heart. So, the best she could do was:

“You did well. Thank you.”

It was just to tell him that he did well and thank him.

Even if the worst happened to his mother, even if fate went against his expectations despite his firm belief, he wouldn’t regret or blame himself too much, so that he wouldn’t be in pain for too long.

Jungeo leaned over and hugged Jiheon.

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Youngmi’s diagnosis was myelogenous leukemia. Jungeo learned that it was a disease that often occurs in people in their fifties to seventies. The reason why she, who had looked so healthy even two months ago, had weakened so quickly was because the word ‘acute’ was attached to the name of the disease.

As Jungeo learned about Youngmi’s condition, she became even more worried about Jiheon.

In fact, Jiheon seemed fine. He was as playful as ever with Guksoon and endlessly kind to Yena.

His expression as he played Go [a strategy board game] with the child was no different from usual.

Jiheon pointed out Yena’s mistake, asking why she put a stone in the wrong place.

“Why did you put it here?”

“Ah! Daddy, it’s a mistake! Yena’s mistake!”

“You can’t take it back, even if it’s a mistake.”

“Heeing. Daddy is so mean.”

“Still, you can’t, because that’s the rule of Go.”

When Yena, who was in danger of losing due to a single mistake, pouted her lips, Jiheon encouraged her firmly.

“But you can think of this as a wonderful mistake.”

“A wonderful mistake?”

“Yes. You’ll know how wonderful this mistake was after time passes. You may not know it now.”

Yena thought about Jiheon’s words and shouted,

“Ah! I know!”

“Our Yena already knows?”

“Yes! I learned that I could lose if I made this mistake.”

“That’s right. You’re right.”

Jiheon smiled happily at the child’s neat answer.

Jungeo stood far away and watched the friendly *모습* [scene/sight] of the father and daughter for a long time. Jiheon’s nonchalant appearance somehow made her feel sorry for him. She began to think that he was enduring the pain with all his might.

Guksoon, who looked at Jungeo affectionately as Jungeo looked at Jiheon, said in a low voice that only Jungeo could hear,

“I understand.”

It was her way of saying that she understood Youngmi’s position.

“When you see the end of your life, you only have that thought left at the end: the thought of not making my child *힘들지* [struggle/suffer].”

The desire not to be a burden to one’s child. It is said to be the ordinary heart of ordinary parents.

“So she apologized late, to not become a burden to you.”

“Yeah…”

“But you did well.”

However, Guksoon, who also gave a brief opinion, respected Jiheon’s choice.

“If Jeong Seo-bang [term for son-in-law] said that, Mother will be fine. Jeong Seo-bang will know best.”

“Yeah. I think so too.”

Jungeo, who finished her short conversation with her mother and entered the room, was lost in thought for a while and then called Jaekwang. It was the first time Jungeo had called Jaekwang first.

The phone rang for a long time before the call was connected.

[Is that *새아가* [term for daughter-in-law]?]

“Father, how have you been?”

[Yes. I heard you went to the hospital with Jiheon today?]

“Yes. Did you hear anything?”

[I didn’t hear anything from Jiheon’s mother, but Manager Oh told me.]

“Ah… Didn’t Mother say anything?”

[She didn’t say anything?]

“How was she feeling?”

[She looked a little down… but she’s been like that lately.]

“…Father, I have something to tell you.”

Jungeo opened her mouth heavily. If Youngmi hadn’t said anything about what happened in the hospital room that day, Jungeo thought she should tell him. She wanted Jaekwang to take care of the heartbroken Youngmi.

[…So that’s what happened.]

“I don’t think Jiheon didn’t want to accept the apology. He probably did it because he wants his mother to be healthy more than anyone else.”

[Yes. I think so too.]

“But Mother’s position in accepting it may be different. I hope Father will watch over her.”

[Okay. I understand. Thank you for telling me.]

Jaekwang said kindly after hearing all the stories.

[Don’t worry too much. Thank you for visiting, and tell Yena to have a good time.]

Jungeo’s worries were somewhat relieved by Jaekwang’s gentle voice.

Listening to many people’s words, and as time passed, Jungeo’s heart was gradually *정리되어갔다* [becoming organized/settled].

She had also built a wall against Youngmi, but she could feel that the solid wall was receding and collapsing. As she said she would receive the apology again someday, she was also preparing to accept the apology.

It was a time when her heart was changing.

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A few days later, on a cool evening,

Jungeo decided to take Yena to the hospital where Youngmi was hospitalized. It had been decided the night before when Yena and Jaekwang were talking on the phone.

Jiheon said he would come separately because he had a schedule, so Jungeo was a little worried, but Yena relieved her tension. Yena cheerfully encouraged Jungeo, saying that she had nothing to be afraid of if she didn’t get an injection at the hospital.

So, they visited the hospital again.

Jungeo took Yena’s hand and opened the hospital room door. The caregiver, whom she had greeted once before, was guarding the hospital room alone.

“Little Madam has arrived.”

The caregiver came out of the hospital room to greet Jungeo and Yena because she couldn’t wake Youngmi, who had just fallen asleep.

“Yes. How have you been? Where is Father?”

“He went out for a while because he had something to do, but he’ll be back in an hour. Madam is sleeping.”

The caregiver handed the gift box she was holding to Yena.

“The Chairman said he was sorry for suddenly leaving his seat and asked me to give this gift to his granddaughter when she came.”

“Wow!”

Yena was delighted to receive the gift and opened the box on the spot. Last time, she received a set of colored pencils, but this time it was a set of colored pens. It seemed that Jaekwang was planning to raise Yena as an artist.

“Thank you. I didn’t know what you needed, so I didn’t buy anything. I’ll go buy something. Do you need anything? Or anything you want to eat?”

Jungeo, after greeting her, asked the caregiver.

“Just juice would be nice.”

“Okay. Do you want to go with me, Yena?”

“I’ll stay here!”

Yena was eager to draw with her grandfather’s gift.

“Then Mom will be back soon. Play quietly so you don’t wake up *할머니* [grandmother].”

“Okay!”

Jungeo had no choice but to leave Yena with the caregiver for a while and went down to the lower floor alone.

On the way to the *지하* [basement] convenience store, she spotted a familiar face in the food court. It was a police officer from the Yongsan Police Station who was investigating the major cases related to Chae Eunyeop.

“Detective. Hello?”

“Ah, yes. Hello.”

The police officer also recognized Jungeo and greeted her. The police were friendly to Jungeo because her family had greatly cooperated in the case related to Chae Eunyeop.

“What brings you here?”

“Chae Eunyeop is in this hospital, although he’s in a ward away from here.”

Jungeo was startled by the police officer’s answer.

The reason why Youngmi was hospitalized in this hospital was because this university hospital had the best prognosis for leukemia treatment in Korea. She couldn’t help but know that Chae Eunyeop was in the same hospital.

*I hope nothing happens.*

“…Has Chae Eunyeop woken up?”

“He hasn’t woken up yet, but he’s conscious. The doctor says he’ll recover without any problems. It seems like he could wake up and move if he had the will, but I don’t know if he really can’t wake up or if he’s pretending to guess his fate.”

Jungeo’s heart fluttered for some reason at the police officer’s explanation.

While Jungeo’s expression became serious, the police officer’s cell phone vibrated. The police officer asked for her understanding and answered the phone. The police officer, who only answered ‘Yes, I understand’ and hung up the phone, immediately *정리했다* [cleared] the *식판* [tray].

“Chae Eunyeop has woken up.”

Jungeo’s heart beat even faster at the police officer’s words.