Follow Your Heart [EN]: Chapter 53

#53.

Before getting into the carriage, Roderick asked,

“Where do you want to go?”

Lee Jae hugged the doll tightly and hesitated.

‘I said, “Aren’t you strange?”‘ But honestly, Roderick couldn’t deny that his wife was a bit peculiar. She sometimes seems desperate, but she’s not servile. That’s probably because her desperation isn’t for herself.

Her prayers are directed towards others.

“Do you want to go to the river?”

“…Yes.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

She felt a little awkward, thinking, ‘I must seem like a stubborn person.’

But Roderick, who had planned to go from the start, didn’t really think that way.

“Hailey.”

“Yes.”

“I may not agree with everything you say, but I hope you don’t hold back your words.”

“………….”

“We’ve come all the way here, so you can just say you want to go. What’s so difficult about that? If you don’t like something, tell me I’m wrong. I won’t turn my back on you just because we have different opinions.”

Then Lee Jae lowered her eyes and shook her head.

“No, Your Majesty is not wrong.”

He was acting within the bounds of common sense, and it’s just that they were seeing different landscapes. If Lee Jae could see the same landscape as others, she would have acted in a way that he could understand a little better.

Then she wouldn’t have been so lonely.

Roderick smiled.

“Hailey, how can a person always be right? Even a king can be wrong sometimes.”

His words were true, and Lee Jae felt sorry that she couldn’t deny his candid words. Feeling embarrassed, she decided to say what she had always wanted to say.

“Your Majesty, I don’t know if I should say this.”

“Go ahead.”

“They say there’s a road where there’s a will [where determination leads to success]. The direction Your Majesty is pursuing is actually right. Don’t doubt it, and if you have a will, just do it. Just walk on.”

She didn’t want to burden the king.

Because he had already endured enough.

But the king was actually someone who could move forward more freely than he does now.

She wanted to let him know that.

And Roderick felt that she wanted to give him strength. He smiled faintly and said,

“Our Queen strangely likes me when I act weak. I thought you’d be disappointed. It’s difficult if you keep giving me hints like this. I’m going to act cute.”

“………….”

“But usually, don’t people like manly men?”

“……That’s not it.”

“Yeah.”

Lee Jae hesitated. But when she glanced up, he was smiling.

Looking back at her toes, she said,

“I just like Your Majesty.”

As soon as she said the words, her heart suddenly pounded. ‘Why did I say that?’ She regretted it.

She fidgeted with the doll, almost tearing it apart. And Roderick grabbed her hand before the doll became too miserable. He had a very joyful expression on his face.

“I know.”

“………….”

“I’ve been like that too.”

“………….”

“Let’s go quickly.”

Her face, not knowing what to do, seemed a little intimidated.

Was it just her imagination? There was anxiety and hesitation in her glancing eyes.

But the tips of her ears were red. Roderick found that very cute.

Roderick, feeling a strange excitement, couldn’t look at Lee Jae’s face after getting into the carriage.

Where did that cuteness come from?

He kept washing his face [trying to regain his composure], looking only at the window.

But Lee Jae was originally living in two worlds.

After getting into the carriage, she fell into another worry.

Would Hailey be there?

With this much resentment, Lee Jae thought she wouldn’t have been able to leave.

If she hadn’t left, she wanted to resolve her resentment, and if she had left, she wanted to perform a soul-calling ceremony to call her back. Because there were so many things she wanted to ask.

‘Hailey, I don’t really know why you left like that.’

‘I’ve tried to understand you. You weren’t such a weak person. Am I right?’

But the king would be next to her, so she couldn’t do anything.

Lee Jae decided to just focus on confirming.

“Your Majesty.”

“Yeah?”

“Is my nickname really ‘pretty idiot’?”

Roderick frowned for a moment.

“……What kind of bastard said that to you?”

‘I was right.’ Lee Jae nodded.

Hailey must have known that fact too. It was written in her diary.

But Hailey seemed to have just laughed it off.

“Still, it’s a relief that I’m at least pretty in other people’s eyes.”

“……Do you really not look in the mirror often?”

Lee Jae smiled, frowning.

“Your Majesty, Cayenne’s beauty standards and a good face are different. There’s a discrepancy. Your jaw shouldn’t be as sharp as mine.”

“What’s wrong with your face? It’s just pretty.”

Lee Jae shook her head as if that wasn’t the case.

“I’m not saying that having a sharp jaw is all bad… but when you look at the overall harmony, there’s a subtle something, you know? I hate to say this myself, but this is a face that lacks fortune [a face that doesn’t attract good luck].”

‘Fortune leaks out of here. It’s a death face.’ Lee Jae waved her hand around her face.

The best jaw was like the king’s jaw.

Luck couldn’t leak out anywhere, and to put it simply, that was the face of someone who would become king.

The position of ruler is so great that when you reach that position, people tend to look lacking.

But with that kind of face, no position, no name could contain the person.

If she could just get past this strange crisis, there would be no one like the king in his later years.

In fact, the king had the best face she had ever seen in her life as a shaman [a person who can contact the spirit world].

Feeling an unspeakable frustration, Lee Jae stared intently at Roderick’s face.

And she was a little embarrassed.

‘Uh? Why did it get better?’

Scratching her cheek and looking around, she looked at his face closely once again.

‘It’s really true? It’s too good?’

Lee Jae kept tilting her head.

Roderick was a little taken aback when she suddenly leaned in so close.

“Hailey, why are you suddenly like this?”

“Your Majesty, now that I see it, you’re really handsome?”

“Oh? Yeah, I’m very grateful, but.”

“I’ll correct myself. My type must be handsome men.”

‘This is filled with great fortune. As expected, it’s the face of someone who will achieve great things.’

People’s faces do change, and that’s why they say to live life well, but how can it get so much better in such a short time?

“Wow, it’s really strange. Amazing. You’re so handsome.”

Roderick laughed in disbelief as Lee Jae continued to admire him.

“So, you do look at faces?”

“Of course, I look? I’m a person too.”

“But how can you be so cold to me?”

“Wow. That was a bit annoying just now. So, Your Majesty knows he’s handsome? Humans are really…”

Roderick burst into laughter.

“Isn’t it a bit fake to say you don’t know? I do look in the mirror. But I was worried because it didn’t seem to work on you at all.”

Lee Jae chuckled.

“I’ve never been cold to Your Majesty. I’ve always been like this.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re… not a cold person at all.”

Roderick kept trying to break her down.

Lee Jae avoided his gaze, but he liked her so much. He hugged Lee Jae, who was trying to run away again.

“Thank you so much for saying you like me. I thought I wouldn’t hear it before I died. Actually, my heart is still fluttering so much that it feels like it’s going to pop out.”

“Why did I say that? Can you just pretend you didn’t hear it?”

“Ah, why? I don’t want to.”

“……But why did you think you wouldn’t hear it?”

“You’re not the type to say everything you feel. You keep holding back and hiding things.”

“I’m actually the type who holds it all in and then suddenly screams and runs out.”

Roderick burst into laughter.

“Oh, it seems like it. Why do you hold it in until that happens?”

Then Lee Jae gave a faint smile.

The reason was quite simple. It was because she didn’t want to pass this pain on to others.

‘Your Majesty, I’m actually… trapped in my own world. I see a wider world than others, but the world I can’t share is ultimately closed off. Then it’s not wide, it’s narrow.’

‘In fact, there’s only me here, and I’m very lonely and scared. I’m so scared that my body trembles every day.’

‘But this is my battlefield. You may not be able to understand me, but if I endure this well, I can definitely help someone. There will be people who feel better today, right?’

‘If so, this is my justification. The path laid out for me, the path I have to take, is only one.’

‘My sadness, always to the back road.’

Lee Jae looked at the tip of her shoe with a bitter face.

She still had a worried look on her face.

But nodding, she told him clearly once again.

“Your Majesty, I actually like you quite a lot.”

“……Yeah. Me too.”

She now only looked at the window, and Roderick felt a little awkward.

But he soon asked slyly.

“Hailey, do you really like me?”

“………….”

“But since when?”

“………….”

“Tell me.”

“Please stop now. I’m done.”

“Ah, suddenly you’re so cold again. It’s hard to keep up with your temperature.”

“………….”

“Can’t you just do it? Does it cost money?”

Lee Jae, who had been very stiff, burst out laughing.

Roderick was still waiting for an answer, but Lee Jae felt that the carriage had stopped.

“It’s not that. I have money too. Your Majesty wastes so much of the budget that the nobles keep coming to me. I have no intention of getting involved in politics, so don’t give them food unnecessarily [don’t give them reasons to complain]. Your Majesty may think I’m just playing around, but I’m actually quite busy?”

“………….”

“Anyway, I think I have to get off now.”

Roderick was really going crazy, so he grabbed her arm.

‘Hailey, you can’t get off here like this.’

“Just do it, please.”

“………….”

“Okay, I understand. But I like you a lot.”

“……Me too. What are you asking when you’ve known all along?”

“Did you know that I knew too?”

“How could I not know?”

Lee Jae fidgeted and pushed open the carriage door.

And she hurriedly jumped out and said,

“If you don’t want to show it, then don’t be so nice to me. You’re a really strange person.”

Roderick, left alone, kept running his hands through his hair.

The Queen had expressions that she couldn’t hide no matter how hard she tried. Just like you can’t hide the temperature if you touch it even a little.

What should I really do with that small and precious thing?

He couldn’t get out of the carriage for a while.