The Rap Star [EN]: Chapter 41

Their enjoyable time continued after the interview and all the related schedules were finished.

They wrapped up the long, nearly two-hour interview, and were greeted by an incredibly upbeat atmosphere. The after-party was in full swing, with members scattered about, having a blast. L&S members, Miju, Sanghyun, and Junhyung were quickly caught up in the excitement.

“Drink up!”

Members of another band, already quite drunk, latched onto Sanghyun and Junhyung, asking for their phone numbers. However, the L&S members, Bang Min-sik included, protested, declaring it absolutely impossible.

“No way! They’re ours!”

The 888 Crew members grabbed Junhyung, the leader, begging him to let them do a solo performance soon. As aspiring musicians, they felt a fire ignited within them after witnessing today’s performance.

Sangmi and her friends peeked at the band members with flushed cheeks, as if they were seeing celebrities.

And Miju started acting tipsy.

“Come on, Sanghyun, my dear. You have to take a drink from your sister, right? Oh, you’re such a good boy.”

“Unnie [older sister or female friend], Sanghyun is a minor.”

“I know!”

“How can you do this when you know that?”

“No, are you Sanghyun’s guardian? Aren’t you two the same age?”

“Same age? I’m a year older!”

A fierce battle of wills unfolded between Miju, who kept trying to get Sanghyun to drink, and Hayeon, who was trying to stop her. A breathtaking back-and-forth.

However, the fierce battle of wills ended very simply.

Hayeon, thinking it was cider, downed the soju [Korean distilled rice liquor] in the glass and got drunk.

“Sanghyun, come here. You have to have a drink with Miju unnie, okay?”

“Come here! Come here!”

Drunk Hayeon joined forces with Miju to get Sanghyun to drink.

However, Miju and Hayeon only got more drunk in the face of Sanghyun’s ‘secretly not drinking’ skills, honed by over a decade of navigating social situations.

The stories of performances, music, and people continued endlessly. Sanghyun quickly built rapport with the other band members. They became fast friends, sending him favorable glances after seeing today’s performance.

The atmosphere was so positive that he even exchanged a few words with Cha In-hyun, the vocalist of L&S, who was usually cold to him, and even received a smile.

“Hey, students! How can you try to make a minor drink alcohol!”

The atmosphere, which had been building to a fever pitch, came to an end when the owner of the all-you-can-eat meat restaurant found Junhyung drunk.

The adults headed to a pub for the second round, and the minors took a taxi home.

“Oppa [term used by a female to address an older brother or male friend], do you know where Hayeon unnie lives?”

“I don’t know exactly, but I know which area it is.”

“It’s close to my house, right? I’ll go home first and you can take her home. I can’t send her alone, can I?”

“You’re right.”

Sangmi took a taxi and got off in front of her house, and Sanghyun escorted the drunk Hayeon to her place.

She only drank one glass of soju by mistake (though it was a full glass), but seeing her staggering, he worried that she shouldn’t drink at all.

“Hayeon-ah. Where exactly is your house?”

“Daeheung Sky…….”

“Which building?”

“Ice cubes…….”

‘She’s out of it. Completely gone.’

Sanghyun sighed deeply and sat Hayeon on a bench.

He should have bought a pack of gum at the convenience store on the way; that was a mistake.

‘She’ll wake up if she gets some cold air.’

Sanghyun laid Hayeon, who kept nodding off, on the bench and fell into thought. Thoughts about the first performance kept popping up and disappearing.

The stage. The audience. The cheers. The music.

Today’s performance had many good points and many disappointing ones.

It’s a shame that the bass cable broke and the cue sheet got tangled, and it’s also a shame that the monitoring speaker, which was only set for instrument monitoring, didn’t properly reflect the rap.

The energetic performances such as Move, Gwangju UP, and Run this town were very good. However, some of the rap ballad songs such as ‘About Love’ with the band were very disappointing.

‘I still have a long way to go. You can’t be satisfied after the first try.’

Nevertheless, the performance was mostly good.

Sitting on a bench where a cool breeze was blowing, a stark contrast to the early summer heat, he couldn’t help but think of his parents.

‘If my parents had seen it, they would have been really happy, right?’

Suddenly, he thought that Hayeon, who was curled up like a shrimp and lying on the bench, would understand this feeling. She had lost her mother.

‘Does the spirit really follow the body?’

Seeing that the longing for his parents, which he thought had completely healed over 20 years, leaving only scars, kept resurfacing.

“Umm…….”

Hayeon, who was waving her hand to chase away mosquitoes, wriggled and put her head on Sanghyun’s leg with a thud.

“Does she think I’m her pillow…….”

However, despite his words, Sanghyun carefully arranged Hayeon’s hair and stroked her head, just like his mother used to do to him when he fell asleep watching TV as a child.

A nostalgic feeling that he hadn’t experienced since he was 18 years old.

Sanghyun, who had been stroking Hayeon’s hair for a while, couldn’t bear the lingering longing and quietly, but with all his heart, opened his mouth.

“Hello, My only one…….”

Hello, my one and only son.

Sanghyun’s low voice echoed through the evening park.

He felt like he was going to cry.

Kanye West’s Only One.

A song containing the message that Kanye’s deceased mother sends to Kanye from heaven.

Sanghyun heard this song on January 1, 2015, in Times Square. He had been so busy starting a business that he had to spend the New Year on a business trip.

Sanghyun felt a deep loneliness among the many people in Times Square shouting Happy New Year.

Whether it was because he had become irreparably estranged from Sangmi, his only blood relative, around that time, or because he had dreamed of his parents on the plane, he didn’t know.

Like a five-year-old child abandoned alone in the world, like a lost and tired traveler, like someone rejected by everyone, Sanghyun, not knowing what to do, stood blankly in the middle of Times Square when suddenly Only One was heard in his ears.

Hello, my only one.

Sanghyun cried unashamedly.

Many people’s eyes were on him, and someone asked if he needed help.

To some, Only One is just a song by a famous singer that was released yesterday, but to him, it wasn’t. It was as if he could hear his parents’ voices.

Sanghyun returned to the hotel and listened to this song for hours. Since then, he has listened to this song whenever he misses his parents so much.

Hello my only one, just like the morning sun
You’ll keep on rising. ’til the sky knows your name
Hello my only one, remember who you are
No you’re not perfect but you’re not your mistakes

Sanghyun’s trembling voice carefully filled the park.

When it’s time to sleep
She’s heard saying to me
Hello Kanye, how ya doing?
I think the storm ran through, now the clouds are moving
I know you’re happy, ’cause I can see it
So tell the voice inside ya, go on and scream it
I talk to God about you every day
And I know he’s got his hands on you, cause’ that’s the only way I could’ve sent you an angel child
See you gotta understand what you are, you know?
You wanted an angel, man, you asked for it
You got two of ’em
See I’m looking down on you
Surrounded by your glory
Don’t worry
I’m gonna keep watchin’ over you
So just go on and do what you do
I’m gonna be here for you
So tell me what you’re going through
Hello my only one, just like the morning sun
You’ll keep on rising. ’til the sky knows your name
Hello my only one, remember who you are
No you’re not perfect but you’re not your mistakes

Sanghyun hesitated for a moment after finishing the second chorus. And then he slowly opened his mouth.

He had listened to Only One hundreds of times, so he knew the lyrics completely. But it was the first time he had put his own story into this song. He had never done it before because he thought he would miss them so much if he told his story.

Korean flowed from his mouth.

Hello, how are you? My one and only son
Were you very 힘들었지 [tired/struggling] because we suddenly disappeared?
But you are on the right path
Because we are protecting you
Like 펼치다 [spreading/opening] an umbrella when the storm rages
Become an umbrella for your younger sister

There were times when the melody he remembered didn’t match the Korean, and there were times when he thought about what his parents would say. The technical aspects of the rap were a mess, and the rhymes didn’t match at all.

Sanghyun was able to carefully continue the song, thinking of his parents’ voices

Whatever you choose to do,
We’ll cheer you on from heaven
So that your name reaches heaven
Shout it out loud.
Maybe the road is rough and dangerous
Maybe you’ll fall
But maybe you won’t see it
We are always reaching out to you

Sanghyun’s voice sounded just like his father’s.

‘I know. Mom, Dad. I performed today. I hope you didn’t 못 보신 [missed seeing] it because it was underground?’

Or it sounded like his mother’s voice.

‘Sangmi and I are very close. I’m trying to treat her as well as I did wrong last time, or even more. Sangmi is the same. I won’t waste the second chance that Mom and Dad gave me.’

Really…….

I miss you.

Hello, My only one. Just like the morning Sun
You’ll keep on rising ’til the sky knows your name.
Hello my only one, remember who you are
No you’re not perfect but you’re not your mistakes

The moment the chorus ended, Sanghyun knew that something was breaking in his heart.

The pain of the past that he had not properly treated—the wound of his parents’ death—and had sealed it with a stopgap measure to avoid it because it was too painful.

The sorry for Sangmi, who shouted that she didn’t have an 오빠 [older brother] anymore and 멀어졌던 [had grown distant].

The long years of not walking the path he truly wanted and living only for money.

The 불안함 [unease] that the unbelievable event of returning to the past brought, with the 앙금 [residue/grudge] still 남아있는 [remaining].

As 38-year-old Lee Sanghyun became 18 years old, he could feel many things that he should have 버려야 진작 [thrown away long ago] slowly breaking down and disappearing.

Hello, My only one.

He could feel that the many emotions that had been 침잠 [submerged] all along were merging into one, 흘려 보내야할 [had to let go of] the pain that had to be 흘려보내며 [let go of].

Yes, Cross over. Fusion.

The 38-year-old self and the 18-year-old self.

2025 and 2005.

The businessman and the musician.

As all these imbalances harmonized, Sanghyun finally knew that he had overcome all the mental problems that had been 괴롭히던 [tormenting] him, even though he had 태연한 척 [pretended to be calm].

One day in July 2005.

On a summer night after the first performance.

Hello, My only one. Just like the morning Sun
You’ll keep on rising ’til the sky knows your name
Hello my only one.
Keep rising like the morning sun,
So that the sky knows your name.

< Verse 4. Cross Over (完) > End

ⓒ