The Rap Star [EN]: Chapter 51

< Verse 7. Eight, Eight, Eight (End) >

“Sangmi’s parents passed away this year. It hasn’t been long.”

“……What?”

Miju was so surprised by her friend’s words that she almost dropped her water glass.

“What are you talking about? Her parents passed away?”

“Oh, you didn’t know? I wonder if I should be saying this? They passed away in March or April this year. Both in a car accident.”

Sangmi’s parents meant Sanghyun’s parents. Miju was so taken aback that she was speechless.

“Ah……”

No wonder there were rarely any adults at his house.

Once, when Sanghyun wasn’t around, she had asked if Sanghyun’s parents didn’t mind him staying up all night in the studio.

‘Sanghyun’s parents both travel abroad frequently for work. If they’re busy, they might not be able to come for months.’

That was Junhyung’s answer. At the time, she just thought, ‘I see,’ but now that she thought about it, it seemed like a well-intentioned lie.

Miju, in her confusion, tried to recall if she had made any mistakes.

Then, Hyesoo continued.

“Her younger sibling told me… Ah! Then the Sangmi’s brother that her sibling mentioned was the friend I saw back then.”

“What did she tell you?”

“It’s nothing much, but Sanghyun takes care of Sangmi so much. He plays the role of a dad, an older brother, and even a friend. So, many of her younger sibling’s friends think Sanghyun is really cool.”

“Ah… That’s true. Sanghyun is completely devoted to Sangmi.”

“And Sangmi has agoraphobia? She had panic disorder, so for a while, he would take her to school every morning and pick her up from school. Because Sangmi feels better when she’s with her brother. He would cancel any important appointments or anything else.”

“Agoraphobia……?”

“She’s fine now, though.”

Miju closed her eyes as thoughts belatedly came to her mind.

‘Tell me properly. What’s the reason? Is it because you don’t want to work with L&S [a music label]? Is there no marketability?’

‘That’s absolutely not it.’

‘Then what is it?’

‘I have some personal circumstances.’

‘So, what’s the reason!’

The reason was very clear. It was because of Sangmi that he couldn’t go. But to give that reason, he would have to dredge up the pain of losing both parents.

She had forced Sanghyun to either dredge up his pain himself or tell a lie.

‘Your parents?’

‘Uh… they’re not here.’

Miju kept recalling her mistakes. She hated her own lack of awareness. Looking back, it seemed like the 888 Crew members had been subtly aware of it.

‘Does your family have some money?’

‘No.’

‘Is a rich young master’s hobby assembling machines?’

A rich young master.

Sanghyun had just smiled bitterly and didn’t get angry.

“What’s wrong? You don’t look good.”

“……”

“Did you perhaps make a slip of the tongue?”

Hyesoo roughly guessed the situation from Miju’s silence.

“It’s not like Sanghyun told you about his parents. And it’s not like you did it on purpose. Don’t blame yourself too much.”

“Still……”

‘I have some personal circumstances.’

‘So, what’s the reason!’

“I shouldn’t even apologize, should I……?”

“It’s better not to. Sanghyun and Sangmi are still young. Until they say it themselves, trying to take care of them might be more hurtful.”

Miju had no choice but to agree with Hyesoo’s words. All she could do was be careful in the future.

But somehow, her mouth felt bitter.

Hyesoo, seeing Miju’s expression, sighed deeply.

“Miju, you’re close to Sanghyun, right?”

“Huh? We’re very close……”

“Right. If you really hurt him with a slip of the tongue, you wouldn’t be able to be on good terms. Sanghyun knows that you might say things bluntly but you’re considerate, so he probably didn’t mind it. So, don’t worry too much.”

“What, so saying things bluntly is the default setting?”

Miju gave a bitter smile at Hyesoo’s consolation.

That’s how Miju spent time with her friend, drinking coffee, eating, buying clothes, and having a light beer. But she couldn’t help but feel a sense of stuffiness in her chest all day long.

‘Why is this happening?’

Of course, she felt sorry to Sanghyun, but rationally speaking, it wasn’t a terribly serious problem.

It would be enough to apologize later when Sanghyun had recovered from his pain and was ready to talk about his parents.

But Miju, feeling an inexplicable sense of frustration, ended up turning the taxi around and heading to Sanghyun’s house.

“Excuse me, could you please go to the KEPCO [Korea Electric Power Corporation] office in Ochi?”

Looking at the clock, it was already approaching 1 a.m. Quite a late hour.

‘Is he still awake?’

Miju sent a text message as she walked from the KEPCO office to Sanghyun’s house. He replied immediately, as if he was awake.

-What are you doing

-I was writing lyrics. Why?

-I’m in front of your house.

-My house?

-Yeah.

Soon, Miju could see Sanghyun coming out to the intersection, looking around.

“What is it? You said you were in front of my house?”

“I was almost there. Why are you out here?”

“It’s dangerous for a woman to be walking around alone at dawn, so I came out.”

“What’s dangerous about it.”

“Did you drink alcohol?”

“I had a beer.”

Sanghyun chuckled.

“I’ve never seen anyone who says they had a beer actually only have one beer.”

“Then today is the first time you’re seeing it? You can write it down on the calendar. The day you saw someone who only had one beer.”

“How sacred… I will designate August 10th as a memorial day every year and offer a beer to Shin Miju.”

Miju burst out laughing at Sanghyun’s joke.

“High schooler! Do you want to have a beer with your sister?”

“Sangmi is sleeping. I can’t go to your house, and I can’t go into a bar, can I?”

“We can just crack open a can of beer at the gazebo in the park over there.”

“You know I’m a minor, right?”

“You’re funny. I saw you kill all the L&S guys with alcohol last time, you know?”

Sanghyun smiled awkwardly. Miju led Sanghyun to the convenience store next to the KEPCO office. Miju picked out snacks, and Sanghyun picked out alcohol.

The sleepy-looking part-timer scanned the barcodes repeatedly, as if annoyed.

“Haaam… That’s 13,400 won.”

“Ah, wait a minute.”

Sanghyun briefly stopped Miju, who was about to pay, and looked around the convenience store. He couldn’t see what he was looking for. He was about to ask the part-timer when the part-timer pointed to the door and said.

“It’s under the wet wipes display by the door.”

“Huh?”

“What you’re looking for.”

“……?”

How did he know what I was looking for?

The part-timer said with a sullen expression.

“Aren’t you looking for condoms?”

“Huh? No. Do you have any mosquito coils?”

“Ah… We don’t have mosquito coils at our store, but we have bug spray.”

If I spray bug spray in the air, it’ll all go into the beer, so I can’t do that.

“Just ring it up, please.”

“Ah, no. I’ll do it.”

Miju took out her card with a slightly flushed face. Sanghyun poked Miju’s side and teased her.

“What were you thinking about?”

“N-Nothing.”

“It’s so strange. You’re so shy about this, but you’re always so forward.”

“Do you want to die!”

Smack!

Sanghyun eventually had to offer his back to Miju’s hand, which was empowered by alcohol.

There weren’t as many mosquitoes as they thought in the gazebo. Sanghyun and Miju chatted about this and that, sipping on canned beer.

“Will the Jeonju performance go well this time?”

“Won’t it go well? I heard the vocalist has a secret weapon? He never lets me hear it, though.”

“I’ve heard that song. It’s really good. It has a lot of rap elements mixed in, so it seems like you guys had some influence?”

“You’ve heard it?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm… He never lets me hear it.”

Sanghyun took a sip of beer.

“Come to think of it, Inhyun is particularly cold to you.”

“You noticed too?”

“Junhyung and the 888 guys don’t seem to know, but for someone like me who has known Inhyun for a long time, it’s obvious. He wasn’t originally like that.”

“I think he dislikes me a bit.”

“I wouldn’t say he dislikes you, but maybe it’s more like a sense of competition? A sense of rivalry. Honestly, there are a lot of songs where L&S is used as the backing band and you’re rapping, right? It might be complicated for Inhyun to watch that.”

“Do you think so?”

But Sanghyun was convinced that it felt different from a sense of rivalry. It was a slight discomfort and a desire to draw a line. A ‘don’t come into my territory’ kind of feeling.

“But why are you here so late at night? Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just had a beer with a friend and wanted more alcohol.”

“Tsk, coming for a second round while thinking about a high schooler.”

“Why? Is it not good?”

“You came to the right place.”

Sanghyun smiled brightly. Miju watched Sanghyun’s smile for a moment. She couldn’t see any dark corners at all. It was hard to believe that he had suffered the great pain of his parents’ death just a few months ago.

He was always positive, considerate of others, and passionate.

‘Has he overcome his pain? Or is he acting bright?’

Either way, it was a pitiful thing.

Especially from Miju’s perspective, who had grown up in a wealthy family and received a lot of love from her parents.

Without realizing it, she reached out and touched Sanghyun’s face, opening her mouth.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Huh?”

“That your parents passed away……”

Miju stopped talking.

‘What am I saying!’

This wasn’t how this story should start. It shouldn’t become gossip over drinks. It was like she was demanding to know why he had hidden such a secret.

But she couldn’t take back the words she had already started.

Miju was so flustered that she closed her mouth. An unbearable silence lingered in the gazebo. She couldn’t bring herself to look Sanghyun in the eye. How angry would he be?

It was like she was demanding to know why he hadn’t dredged up his pain.

At that moment, Sanghyun broke the silence. In a voice so warm that Miju, who had been expecting a very cold accusation, was shocked.

“I’m sorry.”

Holding Miju’s hand that was on his face, Sanghyun slowly continued.

“I didn’t hide it to hide it. I didn’t want to lie either, but I hated the thought of Sangmi hearing that she didn’t have parents.”

“What are you sorry for……”

“Anyway, I deceived you, right? I’m sorry for deceiving you.”

Sanghyun poured the beer into his mouth and smiled.

“You’re the first person I’ve told besides Junhyung. You don’t have to keep it a secret. You can tell the crew members or the band members.”

“……Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Miju felt strange as she looked at Sanghyun’s smile.

The gazebo in the mosquito-infested park looked beautiful, and it was as if a bright sun was shining in the dark night sky.

Miju realized her feelings at that moment.

It was a really strange thing. It was something that people wouldn’t easily believe if they heard it. But it was true.

That I.

Like this high schooler who is smiling in front of me.

This child who is four years younger than me.

That I like him.

Miju’s face turned red at that moment, and she kept gulping down her beer. Then she choked and coughed.

“Why are you drinking so fast? Drink slowly.”

“J-Just because.”

Miju blushed. Then she glanced at Sanghyun, who was waving away mosquitoes.

It’s definitely true.

I like this child.

“Sanghyun.”

“Yes?”

“Should we go see the play that we missed because you were making a diss track, tomorrow?”

“Ah, should we?”

“Let’s meet after band practice.”

“Okay.”

Miju sipped her beer, avoiding Sanghyun’s softly smiling eyes.

That’s how one Saturday was coming to an end.

< Verse 7. Eight, Eight, Eight (End) > End

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