Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 104

104.

We went on stage, and everyone except me was crying. They seemed to be reminded of when we won first place.

Ryu Iden received the award on behalf of the group and was shedding tears. He grabbed my hand and subtly pulled me towards the microphone, hinting that he wanted me to take over.

I calmly took the microphone. I couldn’t repeat the same nonsense as last time.

“…I often get confused about whether to mention the names of the most grateful, beloved, and important people at the beginning or at the end.”

I calmly began to read the words that all the members had gathered to write together.

“Although I’m not sure yet, I’ll carefully call out the names of the people I love the most first.”

Taking a breath.

“To our Luminaries [fanbase name]. We are engraving in our bones the gratitude for always loving and supporting our lacking selves, unsure of how to repay you.”

Finally, one period.

One first fruit achieved with the members.

One clear piece of evidence that I am no longer alone.

I take a step back, somewhat assured that Ryu Iden is genuine.

“I think of the Rookie Award as encouragement to do even better in the future. We, Blossoms, will not forget the encouragement contained in this award, which we have been hoping for since our trainee days.”

The puppy’s voice was tearful. Then came the mentions of the company staff and family. I didn’t want to grab the microphone again, so I just mouthed ‘Mok-hwa’ briefly. He’d probably understand.

He’s a younger brother who’s quick to catch on to things like this.

After the family mentions, Lee Hyun-jae left one last word.

“Lastly, to our most beloved Luminaries! Thank you so much, and we will become flower boys who can show you a great image in the future. Thank you!”

While moving to the singer’s seats, we took turns holding the Rookie Award trophy, feeling moved.

“……This is really good. It feels like a dream.”

Ryu Iden. He is usually calm in dealing with changes in situations among us, but seeing him mumble blankly, it seems like he is deeply moved.

“…When I was a trainee, I really, really dreamed of receiving the Rookie Award.”

“Me too, in my fourth year as a trainee, I dreamed about it.”

Lee Hyun-jae took over the words and suddenly started crying again. It seemed like his emotions were not properly controlled.

Then, Chae Ha-min and Seok-jun, who have better empathy than others, followed suit, and I could only laugh at the sight.

I wonder what to do with them having such difficulty controlling their emotions.

I stroked Lee Hyun-jae’s back.

“Hyung, really. Thank you so much.”

Lee Hyun-jae, sobbing, held my hand tightly. I don’t know what he’s so grateful for about stroking his back, but there’s no reason not to accept it.

* * *

The awards ceremony ended, and we went to a nearby Korean BBQ restaurant.

“Congratulations on Blossoms winning the Rookie Award!”

With that shout, glasses clinked together in various places.

A company dinner was held with the staff and members. In my case, despite Manager Kang Seung-won’s strong insistence that ‘If you’re not feeling well, you should go in,’ I followed along on my own two feet.

It may be stubbornness, but it seemed like it would be more heartbreaking to think later that I wasn’t at the closing ceremony, so I followed along. It was unfamiliar to be moving with this kind of emotional logic.

“Um, Dong-hwa, you absolutely can’t drink alcohol! I’m already being very lenient by letting you not go home!”

Please don’t talk in the nuance of treating an alcoholic, Ha-min.

The members seemed to be watching me from somewhere between excitement and worry.

While we were chatting about the emotion of today’s Rookie Award, Ryu Iden began to speak in earnest.

“Anyway, I have a small wish that our lucky charm and benefactor, Dong-hwa hyung, would take a little more care of his body.”

It was about me. Fortunately, I only got sick to a level that I could handle, but if not, it could have led to a major accident.

“That’s right. I thought the world was collapsing this morning. Hyung, I’m so grateful and thankful, but wouldn’t it be okay if you worked a little less hard?”

Lee Hyun-jae advised me, emphasizing his gratitude.

“I—also, I don’t like—hyungnim being—sick. I’ll—learn to compose—quickly and help—hyungnim.”

Seok-jun vowed to grow.

Chae Ha-min, who was the only one who didn’t say much, seemed to have nothing left to say because he had been nagging me since I followed him to the Korean BBQ restaurant. However, he only agreed with his eyes.

I felt strangely good about the members’ worried eyes. It’s unusual and sentimental, but other people’s worries and concerns have a subtly sweet scent.

So a faint smile spread across my face.

“I’m sorry.”

Ryu Iden smiled and picked up a piece of meat and put it on my plate.

“Of course, Dong-hwa, it’s not your fault. You just worked hard, and this time, your body unexpectedly broke down. It wasn’t a pure state of overwork like last time, was it?”

Well, the last thing he said is true. I’m not sure if it’s my fault or not.

“Still, Dong-hwa. I really, every time I see you suffering, I’m grateful, I want to do it with you, and I hope you can rest a little…….”

Numerous sentences poured out of Chae Ha-min’s mouth. When Chae Ha-min finished speaking, Ryu Iden nodded and put another piece of cooked meat on my plate. It seems like he’s been giving me meat only since a while ago.

“Of course! It’s true that the main reason Blossoms was able to win the Rookie Award was because of your efforts, Dong-hwa. I’m really grateful for that, and I think everyone else will be too.”

The other members shook their heads violently at that. On the other hand, I only shook my head.

“…We all did it together.”

I sincerely think so, so I don’t feel any guilt. Ryu Iden put more meat on my plate and said. Please, no more meat.

“Everyone worked hard, but no one can deny that you worked especially hard, you bastard.”

Of course, I worked hard, but it was the hard work I wanted to do, and the hard work for what I wanted to protect, so I enjoyed the process enough.

“……Anyway, I’ll make sure that there won’t be any more sick days like today.”

“You can get sick, Dong-hwa! Just rest a little! It’s not your fault for being sick! Just work a little less hard!”

Chae Ha-min’s desperate cry. I can see the image of Chae Ha-min crying and getting angry when I collapsed in the past. Seeing that Chae Ha-min is not crying now, it seems that he is not as angry as he was then.

……Amazing. I wasn’t sick before an important event back then, but he was angrier then than now. Maybe it’s because I’m not so sick that I can’t even get up this time, and it’s not entirely because I overdid it.

My mood is strange. Just like the feeling I felt when I first stood on stage, the feeling of someone doing something for me is pouring out so sharply, it was strange.

Then, I could understand why I worked so hard.

“…I really wanted to receive the Rookie Award too.”

Not just because of Gijisaeng’s quest, but because I could experience better possibilities with you guys. With that one heart, I was able to stay up all those long nights.

“When will you fix the habit of using honorifics when you’re embarrassed?”

Let’s lightly ignore Ryu Iden’s muttering.

Anyway, as I said before, the Rookie Award is one period that we finally obtained.

“Rather, there are more times when I am grateful… When I’m having a hard time, I don’t have a hard time when I think of you guys….”

Therefore, I was able to open my mouth with difficulty and express my gratitude. Since I was young, has the word gratitude been so embarrassing?

“……Hyungnim!”

Seok-jun’s sudden outburst, he shed a tear as if he was suddenly overwhelmed, and then ran to hug me across the table.

I picked up the chopsticks with the reaction speed trained by Chae Ha-min and Seok-jun’s speeding, and lightly tapped Seok-jun’s head on the back, then got up from my seat.

“Anyway. As I said, I won’t get sick again. If I get sick, I’ll really let myself be confined this time.”

I quickly moved to the bathroom.

Of course, I heard Ryu Iden’s voice rejoicing that he had succeeded in recording it from behind, but I decided to ignore it.

* * *

Team Leader Jang Hae-jin of Planning Team 2, who arrived late at the company dinner due to Blossoms-related work.

She came running with good news.

“Oh? Where did Dong-hwa go?”

Now, quite a bit of time has passed, and we have become close enough to speak informally unless it is an official meeting.

“Ah, Dong-hwa has gone to die of embarrassment, Team Leader.”

Jang Hae-jin nodded, quickly realizing what Ryu Iden’s sly voice meant.

“By the way, what’s going on, Team Leader?”

“Ah, it’s nothing special, but Dong-hwa is trending in real time on SNS [Social Networking Services].”

Unlike Chae Ha-min and Seok-jun, who didn’t understand what he was saying, Lee Hyun-jae, the official Blossoms search fairy, was startled and clapped. Ryu Iden was also surprised and clapped along.

Seok-jun and Chae Ha-min whispered to each other and decided that it was probably a good thing, then clapped along.

“No, but why? What did Dong-hwa do?”

Jang Hae-jin smiled at the question.

“I don’t know if he looked decadent today, but there were a lot of comments asking who that ex-boyfriend was who seemed to have been terribly entangled with the awards ceremony and then broke up. In addition, the award speech also became a bit of a hot topic.”

Jang Hae-jin sat on a chair for a moment and showed the screen on her phone.

There, Ji Dong-hwa was circulating in a GIF with a tearful, decadent face looking at the screen, and a captured image of the award speech.

The general process was simple. First, Ji Dong-hwa’s sickly visual aroused strange interest. After that, Ji Dong-hwa and Lee Hyun-jae’s first and last award speeches became a hot topic.

They said that they love the fans the most, but they were confused about whether to call them at the beginning or at the end, and in the end, the part where they called them at both the beginning and the end was strangely exciting and touching, and it rose to real-time trends.

“…Wow, whose idea was that line?”

“Dong-hwa hyung.”

It was revealed that Ji Dong-hwa, who was taking his novelist career for granted, was not like that.

“My grandmother was right. Dong-hwa is a benefactor, really.”

In this way, Chae Ha-min’s trust in folk beliefs increased in his heart again.

Immediately after, Ji Dong-hwa came out of the bathroom. He wiped his hands with a handkerchief that he always carried, as if he had washed his hands.

The members, who were blankly watching Ji Dong-hwa’s subtly elegant appearance, all stood up from their seats at once and waited for Ji Dong-hwa to approach.

“……What is it.”

Ji Dong-hwa, who stopped while folding the handkerchief and putting it in his inner pocket, looked around at everyone with a wary look.

“Okay, everyone, let’s applaud our benefactor!”

At Ryu Iden’s shout, the members, Jang Hae-jin, and even the other staff who were listening to the story all applauded with one heart.

Their goal was one, to give Ji Dong-hwa a sense of shame.

Ji Dong-hwa, who was about to sit down, quickly checked the situation.

He scanned Team Leader Jang Hae-jin’s phone and subtly excited expression, the word benefactor, and the applause. In other words, it meant that he had once again risen to something similar to a hot topic without his knowledge.

Ji Dong-hwa smiled, then turned around and walked back to the bathroom.

Excessive expectations can be more burdensome than swearing for a person who is a natural outsider, a person who is more comfortable alone than with a group of people.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to get used to it if we call Dong-hwa a benefactor every time we see him in the future?”

As Ryu Iden smiled and talked about his evil plan, Ji Dong-hwa, who was walking back, approached Jang Hae-jin again.

“…Can I withdraw from Blossoms?”

Everyone burst into laughter at the joke, but only Ji Dong-hwa had a blank expression and approached Ryu Iden, trying to grab his collar slightly, but stopped.