Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 105

105.

On the day I returned from the company dinner, I collapsed into bed. More precisely, the moment I stepped into the dorm, my legs gave way, and Chae Ha-min carried me to my bed.

I vaguely remember hearing Chae Ha-min muttering that it was amazing I had endured this long with just medicine and IV drips.

And now, it’s 9 AM. I woke up at the latest hour in my 29 years of life.

“Hyung-nim, are you feeling a little better?”

I met eyes with Seok-jun, who was doing a handstand on Chae Ha-min’s bed—I don’t know why—and I couldn’t easily answer his question.

Seriously… why are you… here?

In my still hazy mind, Seok-jun’s silhouette gradually became clearer. Seok-jun was still calmly doing a handstand.

“…What are you doing?”

“I’m—doing a hand—stand.”

You’re so consistent. If Wittgenstein were here, he would have cursed in German, shouting about how some crazy person uses language without understanding the context.

“…Why?”

“Eden hyung-nim—told me to—observe hyung-nim—carefully, so I’m trying to see you from a new—perspective.”

What amazing creativity. I don’t even know where to begin pointing things out, so let’s give up. I do want to conduct a psychology-related study on Seok-jun someday.

Seok-jun stood up straight and went outside to widely announce my awakening. In the past, when a king woke up from his bed, information spread everywhere, but I don’t expect to be treated like a king.

I got out of bed. Legs that didn’t collapse. I still couldn’t put my full strength into them, but I would recover by tomorrow.

Of course, seeing a wet towel fall to the floor, I must have had a fever last night.

The moment I opened the door, Chae Ha-min looked relieved.

“Can you stand now?”

“Yeah.”

“Dong-hwa hyung, Ha-min took care of you almost all night yesterday. He switched with me at 4:30.”

Chae Ha-min, holding a vegetable juice in one hand, said not to put unnecessary pressure on him.

“Hey, you still need to know.”

Chae Ha-min’s face showed a slight hint of fatigue.

I haven’t had a memory of anyone taking care of me when I was sick since I was four years old.

I shuddered at the warm feeling and indirectly expressed my gratitude to Chae Ha-min.

“I’ll take care of your children today. Get some rest, Ha-min.”

Hope, Darkness, Beginning. I learned how to care for them through books and Chae Ha-min’s verbal statements, and even organized it in a notebook.

“Ah, I have to take care of Beginning today….”

Chae Ha-min, who is barely holding on because he’s so busy taking care of my health that he can’t even properly drink his favorite vegetable juice. Anyone could tell he looked like he was about to fall asleep, so I gestured to Ryu Eden.

Nod.

After a short nod, Ryu Eden grabbed Chae Ha-min and quietly dragged him into the room. I carefully took the vegetable juice from his hand and took a sip. It’s an easily perishable raw juice, so I planned to make him a cup when he woke up.

“Dong-hwa-ya! If anything happens! Make sure to wake me up!”

Chae Ha-min’s desperate voice as he was dragged away. His voice was like a parent being separated from their child, so I was convinced that Chae Ha-min was crazy.

Why are all the other members except me and Lee Hyun-jae crazy? It’s a deplorable thing.

I went to the terrarium installed on one side of the living room and sat in front of the place where Beginning was on the bottom.

There must be a reason why Chae Ha-min mentioned it.

Sure enough, Blue Eye was visible. I opened the notebook I had brought and scanned the Blue Eye item listed in II—3—A.

‘…A sign that he’s about to shed.’

Judging by the degree, there’s a high probability that he’ll shed today.

‘Here it is. What parents should do when shedding.’

For reference, the wording ‘parents’ was written directly by Chae Ha-min. As expected, he’s a rabbit who has surpassed the laws of genetics, the world’s first reptile father.

“Hyung, is there anything I can do to help?”

Lee Hyun-jae squatted down next to me.

“…There’s not much we can do.”

Increasing the humidity or something is helpful, but shedding is something they ultimately do on their own.

* * *

I sat on the sofa for a long time, watching Beginning shed his skin.

Just without any thoughts, Beginning writhing to shed his past.

‘…Yeah, it’s time to shed.’

Warmth was a source of fear for my past self. Warmth was always something that easily left and disappeared.

Maybe that left me with trauma.

Only after receiving the Rookie Award yesterday did I realize that I was so afraid of warmth leaving.

But now, it’s time to shed it.

A new ‘Beginning’ starts with shedding.

Time passes little by little. Beginning also slowly rubs his body against the structures installed inside, shedding his skin.

From the skin above his head that tore with a snap, Beginning slowly moves forward.

Time passes again. Beginning has now completely shed about half of his body.

And finally, the moment he shed all his skin, I could feel a deep sense of liberation.

Ironically, I wrote it in music and only now do I realize it.

I kept staring at Beginning. Beginning seemed subtly happy.

* * *

“Wow! Our Beginning has grown!”

Waking up from his sleep, Chae Ha-min stood up at once after seeing the shed skin I showed him.

Chae Ha-min was smiling brightly, looking at Beginning, the white snake, with sweet eyes. He really looks like his own child.

It’s admirable how much he cares for animals. Maybe that’s why animals are so friendly to Chae Ha-min, as if by some miracle.

I smiled as I watched Chae Ha-min praise Beginning from outside the terrarium, saying he was amazing.

“…Dong-hwa hyung, are you still sick?”

Ryu Eden was surprised that I smiled without any problems and almost fell while running next to the terrarium.

In the midst of such ordinary, trivial, and therefore precious daily life, Lee Hyun-jae shouted while looking at his tablet.

“…Hyungs, our songwriting trip video is trending!”

……That’s such a bizarre word, Hyun-jae. What kind of meaning does the prefix *tteok* have? [Tteok refers to something sticking or rising rapidly, implying a sudden surge in popularity.]

I can tell from the context that it has a positive nuance.

“The video related to our performance at the awards ceremony… no, wait a minute, the analysis is lacking, so….”

I, who had been mesmerized by Beginning’s new figure with Chae Ha-min, quietly waited for Lee Hyun-jae to open his mouth.

“Oh, the number of views suddenly increased a lot.”

Ryu Eden’s muttering as he checked his phone after hearing Lee Hyun-jae’s words. This shows that *tteok-* is based on *sang* (上) [meaning ‘up’ or ‘rising’], and ‘*tteok-*’ functions as an intensifying prefix.

“I figured it out. Season 3 of what we cosplayed at Wizney is coming out this time.”

Lee Hyun-jae’s briefing begins.

“What became a hot topic at the awards ceremony, Jun-ie hyung and Nesquik noona’s *deokjil* [intense fangirling/fanboying] conversation, the fact that Dong-hwa hyung is a composer being noticed late, the high quality of the song we wrote during the songwriting trip, Momoziro’s face becoming familiar, and the fact that it’s been constantly mentioned in the community. All of this….”

Lee Hyun-jae quickly scanned the tablet and shouted in excitement.

“Hyungs! I think we’re suddenly starting to get a lot of attention?”

…Hmm, that’s good news. I looked at Beginning again. How can he be so white and beautiful? How can he easily shed his past? Perhaps snakes are creatures with a lot to learn from philosophically.

“…Ha-min, Beginning, you’re admirable.”

A murmur that came out without any thought. Chae Ha-min’s expression became much brighter than when he heard Lee Hyun-jae’s words, and he nodded vigorously at my words.

“Right. Our Beginning is amazing, and cool too….”

Ryu Eden ran excitedly to Lee Hyun-jae, and Lee Hyun-jae jumped up and hugged Ryu Eden as if clinging to him, shouting.

Seok-jun, in the meantime, was focusing on his recently acquired hobby of jewel embroidery. It seems he didn’t even hear Lee Hyun-jae’s words in the first place.

“Our Beginning, I was so heartbroken when I saw him biting his tail when he was so small at first, but now his condition is much better… he’s so amazing.”

I nodded at Chae Ha-min’s continued boasting about his child. If this peace can continue, and if the fans can support us, then getting a lot of attention isn’t that important to me.

“We should release the song from our songwriting trip this time, Eden hyung!”

“That’s right. Absolutely right. It’s all thanks to our benefactor’s efforts!”

I ignored Ryu Eden’s talk about benefactors, which was starting again, and focused only on Beginning and Chae Ha-min’s boasting about his child.

“Our benefactor! Come over here for a second!”

“…Quiet. I’m talking to Beginning.”

The only way to respond to nonsense is with nonsense.

* * *

That night, I quietly summoned Gijisaeng.

‘…Gijisaeng, are you there?’

Immediately, an alert window appeared in front of me with its unique sound.

[Quest completion starting!

Quest ‘Brilliant Year’ completed!

After completing one year since your debut, you have won a Rookie Award, receiving public recognition. The Rookie Award will brilliantly illuminate your new beginning!

Reward: Fragmentary information about Gijisaeng, fragment of possibility]

Gijisaeng.

If I were to pick the creature that contributed the most to my shedding, it would be Gijisaeng, no matter what anyone said. Beyond simple curiosity, I wanted to know what kind of being it was because of my gratitude for this creature.

[If you find out my identity, I will have to work overtime for a very long time to stabilize space-time!]

I’ll correct that. I need to know what kind of being this is, even if it’s just out of simple curiosity.

[Would you like to acquire my information?]

I quietly looked at the alert window.

……Okay. I’ll acquire it.

[I’ll see you in your dream tonight.]

I slowly nodded at those words. For some reason, it felt like something was coming to an end.

“Dong-hwa-ya, are you asleep?”

At that moment, Chae Ha-min’s words flowed into my ear.

“…No. Why?”

A conversation in a dark room without seeing each other’s faces, where non-verbal expressions are excluded, sometimes contains more meaning.

“Thank you.”

“……I told you yesterday. I’m more grateful.”

I squirmed slightly and rubbed my body against the blanket. Damn it.

“No, my grandmother called again yesterday.”

“…Oh.”

“But she was asking why my luck with acquaintances was so good this year, and if I had benefited a lot from it.”

Come to think of it, she was the first person to create that embarrassing word, benefactor.

“……Yeah.”

“I was so surprised that I thought about learning fortune-telling, but it was too difficult, so I decided to learn tarot cards.”

……Oh dear. I would have said it was unscientific in the past, but the situation I’m in has become a counterexample.

“Anyway, thank you for trusting me and leaving the company with me. And thank you so much for working hard for us! When I learn tarot, I’ll have to look at your health luck first…….”

“……I, I, am more grateful, Ha-min.”

I forcibly suppressed the feeling that I was about to suffocate while speaking. If I’m sick, everything is a mess. Damn it.

Until Chae Ha-min mumbled something and fell asleep, I couldn’t make a sound.

Until Chae Ha-min fell asleep, and before I fell asleep.

* * *

And finally, when I fell asleep and was swept away by a hazy sense of floating, my eyes suddenly opened.

A familiar yet unfamiliar landscape unfolds before my eyes. A place I’ve been to once before, like a gap between space and that space.

The space distorts slightly, and the starting sound of a machine, ‘Weeing,’ is heard, and Gijisaeng, made of a computer monitor, slowly walks in from the middle.

“Nice to meet you, it’s been a while.”

I smiled at the emoticon :—) drawn on the monitor.

“Are you ready to work overtime, Gijisaeng?”