Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 122

122.

Giraffe.

I turned my head slightly and looked far to the left.

Elephant.

And I lowered my head and looked down at myself.

Tiger.

What the hell is this damn broadcasting station?

* * *

From the morning, the members were excited with a strange heat. Usually, we go out on schedule after deciding what to do, so it seems like it’s the first time we’re going out on a schedule in this undecided state.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t excited or worried. I just made up my mind to accept any bizarre work with an open mind.

When I got in the car, I could see cameras already installed everywhere. Well, it’s a reality show, so it’s right to ignore the existence of those cameras.

“Wow— Ca—mera! There are so many ca—meras! Observation va—riety show!”

That dinosaur guy. The way he ignores the unwritten rules without a care is beautiful. If I had to classify, he’s a large herbivorous dinosaur. Because nothing will be left where he passes.

“I’m getting excited! More and more! I’m being observed!”

You’re crazy, Jun. So please, can you not talk faster while being observed?

“Haha, Jun, are you that excited?”

“Yes! Everyone! Please look at this! It’s my favorite character!”

“……Wait, but, when I think about it, isn’t the copyright over there really strict?”

With Ryu Iden’s words, the road manager’s phone immediately rings with a notification sound. The manager, who stopped driving for a moment, checks the notification and smiles slightly. Oh, dear.

“Jun, that’s not allowed.”

“Yes? Why, it’s so cute!”

Cutness cannot overcome capitalism. A certain thinker saw that the superstructure is formed on the substructure, capital, so cuteness is ultimately one of the values formed by the power of capital,

“Dong-hwa, weird thoughts.”

Don’t whisper, Ha-min.

“The camera is watching you!”

Who doesn’t know, you damn rabbit.

Anyway, this animal farm has a lot of problems.

* * *

During that peaceful car ride, I felt like we were going further and further into the mountains. Um, is this a live burial experience?

“It seems like we’re going to a more secluded place, right.”

“I know. Are we doing some lumberjack experience today?”

…Please don’t interpret it in a way that’s favorable to you, Iden. Just imagining it makes my arms tingle.

“Maybe! Tarzan!”

Stop, Jun. Don’t try to escape capitalism. History has proven that it’s close to impossible.

“Maybe! Are we going to catch snakes!”

You crazy rabbit, that’s my natural enemy.

“Maybe it’s something like a mountain ginseng digger?”

……That’s the most plausible sound. Like my disciple. But rejected. I don’t want it to end with no income for 2 nights and 3 days.

As I was thinking that, I felt the gaze focused on me. An unspoken pressure asking what I thought.

“……Animal farm.”

I couldn’t say it was a mess, so I told them euphemistically. Ryu Iden smiled slightly, realizing my intention, but Chae Ha-min and Seok Jun looked at each other and began to agree that it might be possible.

Yeah, it’s an animal farm.

* * *

So, why is this real?

I put on a sanitary suit and stood in front of a small tiger, starting to reminisce.

A huge zoo located in Gangwon-do, where even animal researchers work. As soon as I arrived here, I was suddenly asked what animal I resembled, and I respected the opinions of the fans and said cat, and after receiving a long education, I am now standing in front of this guy.

End of reminiscence. Looking back, it’s a ridiculous story. Why?

“Sim—ba. Simba!”

Different species, Jun.

The zookeeper next to him laughs out loud at the clean state of Seok Jun’s head [meaning Seok Jun is clueless].

“…Zookeeper, what is this person’s name.”

Even if it’s young, it’s a creature with the blood of a beast, so let’s be polite to preserve my life.

The zookeeper, who doesn’t know my deep thoughts, laughs again and then struggles to spit out the name.

“It’s really Simba!”

Why are you ignoring this person’s species identity? I carefully crouch down and approach carefully as I learned.

“Hello, Mr. Simba. My name is Dong-hwa.”

The guy stares blankly at me as if he were a cat, then comes to me and rubs his head against my leg. ……Um, is he marking me as his before eating me?

“Oh, what. Simba. Are you discriminating against faces now?”

He’s not usually like this, why is he acting so friendly, the same sounds echo among the people wearing research gowns.

I guess I don’t have the perception that I’m human because I live among animals.

I kneel down as I am so that Mr. Simba under my feet doesn’t get surprised, and I look down at Mr. Simba. Looking closely, he’s quite close to the attribute of cuteness. They say that all creatures are cute when they’re young, and that seems to be true. Not as good as Cotton was when she was young, but definitely cute.

As I was quietly observing, Mr. Simba struggles to climb onto my lap with his cute little feet.

“Do you want to climb up?”

I grab the guy’s scruff as I learned and carefully put him on my lap. Mr. Simba purrs again on my lap as if he’s comfortable. Oh, he’s cute, maybe not as good as Cotton was when she was young, but maybe as cute as Cotton is now.

I carefully stroke between Mr. Simba’s chest and neck as if scratching him.

“Kyaung.”

Oh my god, he’s kyaunging [making a cute sound]. I am cut off from everything around me. Space expands infinitely and the speed of time converges to 0. Only me and Mr. Simba exist in this speed.

“…Why are you so cute, Mr. Simba.”

“Gya-reung…….”

“…Really, cuteness might be able to beat capitalism.”

“Kya-eung!”

“I want to analyze it philosophically. Maybe… you may have a way to establish a human science that combines reason and emotion.”

In post-structuralism, refutation of simply reason-centered thinking was made, but Simba, could you be the beginning of moving beyond that?

“Kyang!”

I didn’t hear it properly at the time, but the staff asked Ryu Iden, ‘Is he originally that kind of character?’ and Ryu Iden replied, ‘He’s the weirdest one among us.’ It’s a shame that they don’t know Simba’s philosophical excellence.

* * *

While Ji Dong-hwa was experiencing infinite space with Simba, Ryu Iden was staring blankly at the creature in front of him.

“……I, I look like a puppy.”

All the fans admit it.

He mutters something and looks at the creature in front of him. Elephant. Why, elephant.

“Do I have a long nose?”

As he was staring blankly at the camera, a hand of darkness slowly approaches. The elephant suddenly takes the safari hat that Ryu Iden was wearing.

“No, wait! Hey! That’s sponsored!”

“Iden, our baby will be surprised if you shout.”

“……It’s too big to be a baby. Anyway, I’ll try to get my stuff back.”

Surprisingly, elephants are highly intelligent creatures. Elephants that have seen each other once can recognize each other even after several years.

“No!”

Therefore, of course, the little elephant tries to catch him using his height, which is taller than Ryu Iden.

“Wh, wh, what’s his name!”

“It’s Gil-soo!”

“Gil-soo! Listen to me! Give me that! It’s a contract condition!”

With Ryu Iden, as the leader of Blossoms, trying to continue the sponsorship somehow, the zookeeper carefully stands in front of the camera and adds an explanation in the background.

“Our Gil-soo has a lot of energy, so we have to play with him. We assigned him after hearing from the production team that Iden has the most energy.”

“Gil-soo! Gil-soo! Look at me!”

“Unfortunately, Gil-soo doesn’t hold back.”

The elephant miraculously shows off the skill of throwing Ryu Iden’s hat with his nose and receiving it with his nose, and Ryu Iden’s expression goes blank when he sees it.

“Gil-soo, are you teasing me?”

Gil-soo’s nose passes in front of him.

“Wow, oh my god, our Gil-soo is serious about humiliating others?”

“I heard that Iden likes to tease members like Dong-hwa, so I matched you up so you can learn a lesson too.”

* * *

On the other hand, Seok Jun and Lee Hyun-jae were assigned the same animal.

“Hyun-jae! Hyun-jae! There’s a penguin here!”

“……Hyung, they’re not it. We have to go over there…….”

“Penguin! So cute!”

“……Hyung, I think I’m getting a little older.”

“Hyun—jae, if you regain your child—like innocence by looking at a penguin—, you can become you—nger.”

“Don’t break the laws of physics, hyung.”

Lee Hyun-jae, who was struggling to lead Seok Jun, who was outwardly outgoing, arrived at a place with a rocky area-like atmosphere and several lights turned on.

There, a huge, very huge, creature was waiting for them.

“……Wait, we were told it was a turtle. There’s just a stone, is today a crash course on raising stones?”

Even when Lee Hyun-jae, whose vocabulary has increased significantly since taking classes with Ji Dong-hwa, was saying that to the camera, Seok Jun’s eyes widened, his mouth opened, and he was out of breath.

“Hey, Hayden!”

“What’s Hayden……, hyung?”

“The giant turtle that appears in Fruits World Season 2!”

“Please, hyung. Don’t touch it! We’re going to get completely cut off [from broadcasting time]!”

“Hayden! I cried when you died at the end!”

“Hyung, his name is Seok-sang! And don’t spoil it!”

However, Lee Hyun-jae’s nagging was just noise to Seok Jun, who had already entered the world of Fruits World. So he runs to Seok-sang and says desperately.

“Hayden, I missed you! You’re so cool. Let me ride you! On your shell! I want to dance!”

“Hyung, don’t get into the rhythm…….”

Lee Hyun-jae stopped there, took a breath, exhaled, and repeated, then slowly calmed down and smiled slightly.

“Um, staff. I’m really sorry, but who will be in trouble if I drop out midway?”

“Did you discuss it with your agency?”

“I think team leader Jang Hae-jin will allow it if I just tell her that I’m on a team with Jun-hyung.”

Lee Hyun-jae, who declares ‘I can’t work with this hyung’ with a bright smile, was like the main character of a refreshing ion drink CF [commercial film]. Of course, in the background, Seok Jun was kneeling in front of Seok-sang, calling him Hayden and smiling.

* * *

Around this time, Ji Dong-hwa was writing a draft of a paper on the possibility of emotional recognition combining with rational recognition based on Simba’s cuteness in his head.

And in the case of Chae Ha-min, he went to the rabbit pen as a matter of course.

“People say I look a lot like a rabbit. I don’t really know.”

He walks while saying a word at a time to the camera.

“Actually, I’ve raised animals before, but they were all reptile friends. I have some of my kids in our dorm too. But it’s my first time with rabbits, so I’m a little excited!”

As Chae Ha-min’s parenting diary is written one episode at a time, he was talking about the joy of the moment when he debuted as the parent of new children, and finally, Chae Ha-min stood in front of the door of the rabbit pen.

When he slowly opens the door so that the children don’t get surprised, something, a sound of turning at once, so much so that he even gets the illusion of hearing the sound of wind.

About 10 rabbits all run towards Chae Ha-min.

“Oh, um, it feels like I suddenly have a lot of kids.”

Then, they immediately jump slightly and bump into Chae Ha-min’s legs with a thud.

“Oh, euk.”

Among them, the one that seems to be the leader of the group, jumps a little higher and jumps towards Chae Ha-min’s stomach.

“Eok.”

Chae Ha-min, who was having a hard time breathing for a moment, was worried that the children would get hurt, so he endured in a push-up position even while falling.

“Hey, hey guys! I’ll protect you!”

Thud—

“Ah, um, guys. A little!”

And the zookeeper who was watching it from outside the window smiles contentedly and says.

“Rabbits are originally animals that live in groups, and the friends who grew up here have a slightly stronger aggression towards outsiders. I heard that Ha-min is the same species as rabbits, so I hope you will try to be incorporated into the group life.”

Then he turns around once, looks forward again, and adds a word, briefly.

“For reference, I couldn’t be incorporated.”

Behind the zookeeper with a slightly tearful expression, Chae Ha-min smiles and sighs under the rabbit group.

“Guys, I’ll help you raise them!”

He couldn’t finish his words because his mouth was pressed by a rabbit until the end.