Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 125

125.

I smiled contentedly as I looked at my phone, staring at the contact saved as ‘Zookeeper Hong Heon-min.’ It was a rare new addition to my pathetic list of numbers.

“Dong-hwa really seems to adore Simba. You look so happy just looking at my number?”

I thought I was alone in the enclosure, but Hong Heon-min must have come in at some point.

“…I want to see Simba grow up.”

Of course, as time passes, he won’t recognize me, and he’ll become a fierce beast that I can’t interact with as closely as I do now. But it would be nice to see him overcome his innate weakness and roar powerfully.

“Tigers grow quickly. I’ll occasionally take pictures of Simba and send them to you!”

“Thank you, really.”

I bowed deeply to Hong Heon-min, my sincerity evident. The development of photography was a historically important turning point, but from now on, it seems it will be an important moment for me as well.

As I was playing and laughing with Simba again, one of the production staff came in and called for me.

“Dong-hwa! We need to get your final interview!”

Finally, they’ve come. Those damn broadcasters. I crouched down in front of Simba and stroked his head. Watching Simba rub his head against my palm, I smiled.

“It’s really unbelievable… Simba hates my hands so much.”

“Simba, I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Kyaoong?”

He rubbed his face on my hand, and when my hand suddenly disappeared, he growled once as if he felt wronged, then looked at the zookeeper with a dissatisfied expression, as if questioning what was going on. He’s smart, cool, and cute.

With lingering hands, I waved to Simba one more time and followed the production staff into the interview room prepared on one side.

Inside, for some reason, Chae Ha-min, with a brightened expression, was already doing an interview.

“I’m happy that the kids finally recognized me as one of their own at the end!”

Crazy Chae Ha-min.

He was throwing away even the last bit of his identity as a human and taking his first steps as a rabbit.

“I’m so sad that I can’t go into the rabbit burrow, but now when I go, the kids move as if they’re saying, ‘Where have you been? Come in quickly’… I feel so ecstatic.”

No, come back, Ha-min. That’s somewhere humans shouldn’t go.

“Okay, Ha-min! I think that’s good enough! Your appearance of being recognized as a rabbit is beautiful!”

That broadcasting bastard. Making remarks that shake his species identity.

The rabbit bastard, who politely greeted the broadcasting bastards even after hearing those words, saw me and waved his hand largely.

“Oh? Dong-hwa, why didn’t you come to eat yesterday? The PD [Production Director] said he was busy. I told you so many times not to skip meals.”

Not like Ryu Iden, the rabbit bastard, who suddenly became a guardian of health, said firmly. Unfortunately, I couldn’t leave because Simba was sick, so it’s self-defense.

I smiled and patted Chae Ha-min’s shoulder once.

“…He was sick.”

“…Huh, really? Then it can’t be helped. I couldn’t sleep when Shijak was sick either…”

As expected, digging into the burrow… Damn, even I can’t deny that he’s a rabbit.

“…Can you wait until this is over for a bit?”

“Why?”

“I’ll show you Simba.”

“Really?! Is that okay? I’ve been talking about Simba every time we eat, so I wanted to see him at least once!”

The production team reacted with ‘Why are you using honorifics with Simba?’, but let’s ignore it for a moment.

“Then I’ll be waiting! Do well in your interview!”

I said goodbye to Chae Ha-min and sat in the chair in the center of the set, surrounded by a semicircle of cameras. As if they had been waiting, the broadcasting bastards opened their mouths.

“Dong-hwa, let’s start the interview!”

“Yes.”

“First of all, we were surprised when we were checking the footage that you were using honorifics with Simba. Is there a reason for that?”

“My father taught me that way.”

“Oh, can we ask why…?”

It’s not a difficult request. I’ve been trying to familiarize myself with my parents’ memories recently in preparation for times like this.

“When I was young, I read about Descartes’ description of animals in my father’s book. At that time, my father tried to teach me that respecting animals is important… and it turned out like this now.”

The PD who was conducting the interview in front of me flinched.

“…How old were you then?”

“Um, it was when I was six years old.”

“Wow, early education is a problem in Korea…”

The PD seems to be misunderstanding it as early education, but since it’s obvious that it will be edited out anyway, I should stay still.

“Next question! Simba is actively expressing affection towards Dong-hwa. What could be the reason? Is it because you’re the same species as Ha-min?”

What nonsense are they saying so casually?

“…I think so.”

But since it’s a broadcast, let’s try lying.

“Come to think of it, Ha-min is a Rabbit and Dong-hwa is a Tiger, right?”

Since those born early in the year calculate their zodiac sign based on the previous year, it’s correct. I nod once.

“Wow, does the year you were born in affect your face?”

I don’t know how to answer this. Seeing the PD’s expression as if he really believes it, I suddenly feel a sense of futility. Why is the entertainment industry so steeped in folk beliefs?

“…That possibility, might, exist, I don’t know.”

I thought I was good at lying, but I realized today for the first time that the voice of conscience is so loud.

“I really… don’t know.”

“Haha, right? There are so many mysterious things in the world. Then the next question is…”

The interview that proceeded after the PD’s nonsense continued smoothly and uneventfully until only the last question remained.

“Um, last question. Dong-hwa seems to have had a lot of interaction with Simba in a short time. Now it’s time to say goodbye… how do you feel?”

It’s a really difficult question to answer. This is the only time that I, a normal person, can be with a fierce beast like a tiger.

“…I’m sad, and a little regretful. If I had chosen a job as a zookeeper or veterinarian, I wonder if I could have seen Simba for a little longer. Of course, if I had, I wouldn’t have been able to meet my fans or members, so it would have been a loss in the end.”

I pause for a moment and feel a smile naturally flowing out.

“I’ve received the zookeeper’s number, so I’ll come again to see Simba roaring powerfully in the future.”

* * *

After seeing Simba with Chae Ha-min, it was really time to leave. I said my final goodbye to Simba.

“Simba, this is really goodbye.”

Then Simba looked at my expression for a moment and roared. It was the first time I had seen such a fierce roar, but I felt more regret than fear. That little creature, perhaps, was born weak, but that’s why he became wiser.

“I’m sorry. But I’ll definitely come again next time.”

“Geureureung!”

“…Next time too, I hope you’ll roar like that.”

“Gyawoong!”

…The fact that he doesn’t roar as soon as I say these words, what does that mean?

“Gya…woong.”

I carefully handed Simba the last food. Surprisingly, Simba doesn’t eat the food and rubs his face against me. Um, really.

“Grow up well, Simba.”

Wouldn’t it be okay to say we’ve become close at this point? I’ve shown enough respect for Simba, so I think it’s okay to take it one step further.

“Then goodbye. I’ll definitely come again.”

“Kyaoong!”

I quickly left the enclosure. I could feel Simba struggling slightly in Zookeeper Hong Heon-min’s arms behind me.

* * *

“Oh, that kind of thing…”

The long story that started with a question about me looking listless in the car on the way home has come to an end.

“…This is, what should I say? It’s a feeling of being sad but so envious that I’m going crazy.”

Lee Hyun-jae replies in a low but sharp voice.

“Hyun-jae, our Hayden too.”

“He’s a stone statue.”

“Hayden too— is very cool— and cool— and, um, also, cool—!”

Then is there a need to say it three times, Jun.

“…He’s not a stone statue, he’s not. Hyung is right. Very! All… is right, of course.”

I felt like he was gritting his teeth slightly when he said ‘is right, of course.’ Considering that Lee Hyun-jae usually suppressed negative emotions as much as possible, it was the most extreme anger I had ever witnessed.

“But the zookeepers praised Jun so much for doing a good job?”

“…That’s true, but, hyung, sometimes mental pain is greater than physical pain for humans. Historically, there have been more times when the lack of freedom was a bigger problem than physical labor.”

I nodded involuntarily. He’s learned well. Perhaps Seok-jun dragged Lee Hyun-jae deep into his own world when they talked.

“…Jun kept talking about Disney.”

“Yes, hyung.”

Lee Hyun-jae sighs deeply and nods at my prediction. It’s not even a prediction, though.

“I see, Hyun-jae. When I first entrusted Dong-hwa to you, I didn’t want Dong-hwa to become two people.”

“I’m still a long way from catching up to Dong-hwa hyung, hyung?”

“That’s why it’s even scarier. I don’t know what will happen in a year. Just imagining it is scary. I want something a little more ordinary…”

Oh dear, defining what ordinary is should come first. Anyway, I can have a deeper conversation with Lee Hyun-jae around that time. It’s very encouraging.

As we were talking, a new topic came up.

“Come to think of it, Mok-hwa is debuting in a few days, right?”

At Chae Ha-min’s words, I immediately nodded. They’ve already been marketed enough as rookies from Dionys Entertainment, a relatively large agency, and they seem to be gaining popularity. A seven-member boy group. I know that they usually don’t fail.

“Um, according to my analysis, they’re the strongest among the rookies debuting this year.”

Since Lee Hyun-jae’s statistics have proven it, it should be fine.

“But hyung, have you heard the trailer music?”

I shook my head. I want to eliminate as much prejudice as possible in order to listen to and evaluate it properly when the music is released. Lee Hyun-jae and Ryu Iden naturally changed the subject, noticing my intention in that one moment.

“Come to think of it, the drama is premiering soon too. We’ll finally see Dong-hwa and Ha-min’s great acting.”

Damn it, I almost forgot about that. Those broadcasting bastards unnecessarily made us act more and wrote a new page in our embarrassing history.

“Hehe, hyung, Dong-hwa acted really well?”

Since we went to film the additional footage by ourselves, the other members didn’t see it. Therefore, they don’t know what kind of acting or script was unfolded there.

“Oh, should we watch it live? Do we have any schedules then?”

Unfortunately, I don’t think we do. But I can’t say it. Because I just decided to listen to the song I worked on together at that time, so it’s a lie if I say it. Kant said that lies cannot be allowed with categorical imperative [a moral obligation or command that is unconditional and absolute for all agents, the validity or claim of which does not depend on any ulterior motive or end].

As I was thinking that and staying still, Lee Hyun-jae peeked out and made eye contact with me. Then he smiled brightly and said,

“We don’t have any schedules unless Dong-hwa hyung schedules work, hyungs [older brothers/male friends].”

Damn disciple. That bright smile was just a smokescreen to hide his murky intentions.

“Hey, surely Dong-hwa wouldn’t schedule work on such an important day?”

“That’s— right. Dong-hwa hyung—nim [honorific], whom— I know— is confident—.”

“No. Dong-hwa did really well, so we have to watch it together!”

…Anchoring effect [a cognitive bias that describes the common human tendency to rely too heavily on the first piece of information offered (the “anchor”) when making decisions]. A negotiation theory that the side that makes the first offer in a negotiation is more advantageous.