Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 14

14.

On my first official day off after the second survival round filming, I lay in bed, trying to organize my thoughts.

Okay, first things first, let’s focus on what I know for sure.

First, it’s clear that Gijisaeng [a mysterious entity or being] wants me to debut. I’d roughly expected this from the start.

Second, if that’s the case, then the reason for the space-time jump must also be to ensure my debut. It’s a bewildering and difficult concept to grasp, but it’s a plausible guess for now.

Lastly, third… a fragment of possibility.

“Dong-hwa!”

Chae Hamin calls me. He’s looking down at me from the top bunk, so I simply turn my head to look back at him.

“What are you going to do before the announcement of the combined rankings for the first and second rounds? It’s a rare day off.”

“…I’m going to work on some music.”

I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye, so I lower my head for a moment.

Chae Hamin seems puzzled by my behavior, but he smiles again and says,

“Then let’s go to the practice room together, Dong-hwa!”

Damn it, why did I say that?

* * *

It was last night, after finishing the stage performance and other filming, back at the dorm. I was lying in bed when I asked Gijisaeng what the fragment of possibility was.

[I cannot tell you what the fragment of possibility itself is, but I can tell you how to use it. Simply indicate that you want to use the fragment of possibility.]

‘You want me to use it without knowing what kind of phenomenon it will cause? What about the side effects?’

[Caution! There is no harm. However, you may experience short-term confusion due to the overwhelming amount of information flooding in.]

‘Anyway, if I use this… I can find out the reason for the space-time jump?’

[It is not an answer, but a clue.]

So, I have to see for myself and figure it out. If I can’t guess it in one go, he’ll use the fragment of possibility again to make me move according to his will. He’s a disgusting, ugly bastard who uses such tricks.

[That is not the intention.]

You piece of trash.

[Caution! Continuous insulting language may result in disadvantages.]

…So he really is a sentient being. I didn’t expect him to have emotional responses.

Anyway, I can’t know anything until I use this. I should use it for now.

‘I’ll use the fragment of possibility.’

And instantly, my consciousness flickered out.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I was watching a man looking at an article. It was as if I had become an absolute being looking down on the world from a third-person perspective.

…This is very disconcerting.

I felt awkward for a moment, but I pulled myself together, thinking that I needed to gather information. The monitor the man was looking at immediately caught my eye.

…An internet article?

‘God A: Are the Members Actually Drug Addicts?’

Look at the title of the article. They’re desperate to make it sensational. By the way, ‘God A’… I have a bad feeling about this.

I focus on the face of the man looking at the internet article.

…It’s an older Chae Hamin.

The rabbit-like appearance and gentle impression were the same as Chae Hamin’s features, but due to the passage of time, he had a more mature air about him.

Chae Hamin lowers his head and sighs. The phone next to him keeps ringing.

Then a man passes through me as if penetrating me and stands behind Chae Hamin. Then he hits Chae Hamin hard on the head.

What a vulgar bastard, daring to hit my friend. Let’s take a look at his face.

“That, you son of a bitch, you leaked it.”

…That guy, he’s the ugly bastard who used to be at my old company.

Chae Hamin sighs again and looks back. Chae Hamin’s eyes are as cold as can be, with no trace of the warmth he shows when he looks at me.

“Yeah.”

No, why is he being so honest in a situation like this? Judging by the situation, it seems like Chae Hamin leaked the fact that the other members of his group were taking drugs. Is his motto ‘lying is never acceptable, no matter what’? There’s a limit to being good, for God’s sake.

Then that ugly bastard trembled, grabbed Chae Hamin by the collar, and threw him to the side. Then he raises his knee as if to stomp on Chae Hamin.

I reflexively moved my body, but all I was allowed to do was watch; I couldn’t do anything.

And at that moment, my consciousness flickered out again as if blacking out.

When I regained consciousness, I was in a hospital. Chae Hamin was lying down with casts on various parts of his body. And people who seemed to be his family were sitting next to the bed.

A person presumed to be Chae Hamin’s father looks down at Chae Hamin and says,

“It’s a good thing, in a way. It could have spread even further. Since your leg is broken and it’ll be hard to dance again, pull yourself together and prepare to be the successor [to the family business].”

Hmm, he’s an even worse adult than I thought.

Chae Hamin just nods, his head bowed deeply. The family leaves, and Chae Hamin is left alone in the private room. Chae Hamin starts to cry as if he’s sad. I listen to his sobbing for a long time before my consciousness blacks out again.

And when I woke up, it was already morning.

* * *

What on earth was that? I can’t concentrate on anything properly because my head is so messed up as I go to the practice room with Chae Hamin. When I look at Chae Hamin, the image of him crying earlier vividly comes to mind, so I can’t even look at him straight.

“Dong-hwa.”

What the hell is this? Why did that crazy being, Gijisaeng, show me something like this?

“Um, Dong-hwa?”

What does this have to do with my space-time jump? Could it be…

Suddenly, Chae Hamin gently grabs my shoulder. I try to hide my surprised expression and look at Chae Hamin.

“Dong-hwa! Are you okay?”

“…Um, why?”

“No, you’ve been a little off since this morning. Did I do something wrong?”

…This is my fault.

“…It’s not that you did anything wrong, it’s just that I’m, um, I don’t have much energy.”

He nods, soon accepting my words, though he looks puzzled by my rambling, which is unlike me.

“That’s right, Eden hyung [older brother/hyung is a Korean honorific] was complaining that you stayed up all night arranging music. He said he’s worried about your health. It seemed like you were pushing yourself a bit too hard.”

Chae Hamin says that and looks at me for a moment before shouting,

“Let’s not practice today and go heal together! We haven’t had a proper rest since the survival show started. You look really tired, so I’m going to force you to come with me today.”

“…You think I look tired?”

“Yeah, honestly, you didn’t say anything, but you’ve been running non-stop since you collapsed at the company.”

Okay, let’s admit it. I’m tired.

I’m stressed by the unfamiliar situations that keep unfolding without me knowing, and I’m frustrated because I don’t know what’s happening to me.

I’ve been running until now, ignoring all of that, but right now, my head isn’t working well enough to think about anything.

It might be because I saw the fragment of possibility, but definitely, I’m tired.

“Where are you going to take me?”

He was surprised that I answered in a positive tone, as if he didn’t expect it, and then he smiled brightly and said,

“Let’s go do animal therapy!”

He’s talking about something scientifically proven, so I can’t argue with the word ‘healing’.

I replied with a faint smile.

“Okay, let’s do that.”

* * *

Chae Hamin is crazy.

“Hamin.”

“Yeah?”

“…You said we were going to do animal therapy.”

“Yeah, it’s here, the animal. Isn’t it super cute?”

Chae Hamin says, carefully stroking the boa constrictor wrapped around his neck.

Isn’t animal therapy usually about spending time with dogs or cats? Or at least spending time with animals that are generally considered cute, like rabbits. This is something abnormal.

This is a reptile experience center that took a while to get to by taxi. Animal therapy, my ass. It’s waking me up.

I leave behind the bizarre scene of a giant rabbit smiling brightly with a snake wrapped around his neck and slowly start to admire the snakes in the enclosure.

…Staring blankly at them, it feels a bit healing. I don’t know what kind of snake it is, but the patterns are colorful and nice to look at.

“Snakes are cute too, right?”

“…Rather than cute, they’re beautiful.”

“I really like snakes. It’s my first time coming to see snakes with a friend, but I want to come often.”

“…When you bring someone else, it would be nice to tell them what kind of animal you’re going to see beforehand.”

He didn’t seem to understand what I meant, but he nodded anyway. He probably doesn’t have many friends either, being so clueless.

I looked around at various types of snakes with Chae Hamin and dragged out Chae Hamin, who was sad to leave when it was time to go.

It’s really frustrating, but as this idiot said, I feel like my head has cleared up, as if I’ve been healed.

Now, I think I can organize my thoughts about the fragment of possibility.

Yeah, let’s ask him. His uncle has a position at that company, so he might know.

“Ah, by the way, Hamin.”

I asked Chae Hamin, who was smiling contentedly after buying a snake doll.

“If we were going to debut at our old company, what name were we planning to debut under?”

Then Chae Hamin didn’t understand the intention of the question, but he answered diligently anyway.

“There were several candidates, but it was roughly decided. My uncle told me, but internally, it was going to be God A? Anyway, it was decided to be a similar name. But why?”

…Damn it. I was half expecting it, but it seems like I was right.

* * *

After eating a simple meal with Chae Hamin and coming back, I locked myself in a studio. This is the only place where I can be alone.

So, it is speculated that the fragment of possibility is a device that shows the ‘possibility’ that could have happened when I was not an idol trainee.

If I hadn’t collapsed back then, or if I hadn’t been bullied at my previous company, that is, if I hadn’t been there, Chae Hamin would have tried to debut there, thinking of his uncle, so.

In other words, the fact that Chae Hamin participated in the survival show is an event that would never have happened if I had lived as a novelist as usual.

Therefore, the following conclusion is reached.

Chae Hamin had the ‘possibility’ of debuting at his previous company, exposing the fact that the members were taking drugs for some reason, and as a result, not being able to continue his idol life, but due to my intervention, Chae Hamin avoided that possibility.

Okay, good. I’ve grasped it to some extent.

One of the reasons I’m experiencing this situation is probably to prevent Chae Hamin from experiencing the tragedy he would have experienced in the original world.

Of course, I feel quite satisfied that Chae Hamin didn’t experience such a thing because of my intervention. I’m actually quite relieved right now. I guess I’ve grown quite fond of him.

And since that Chae Hamin was the target of the now-disappeared main quest of building intimacy, perhaps Ryu Eden too… might not experience a certain possibility because of me. If so, that might be a satisfactory thing in its own way.

However, there is still one unresolved question.

‘Why did it have to be me?’

Why on earth was I given the important role of helping others not to ruin their lives?

What can an incompetent person like me do for others? What can I, an orphan who had a hard time taking care of even that one child…

I buried my face in the studio desk.

It’s so burdensome, I could die. Really… it’s burdensome.

* * *

Chae Hamin was practicing dancing in the practice room when he remembered that Dong-hwa was acting strange today.

‘Dong-hwa was definitely strange.’

Although he is not very perceptive, Dong-hwa was excessively spaced out today. He usually thinks a lot, but it was especially bad today.

‘Could something be wrong?’

At that time, he heard his phone ringing. When he picked up the phone, he saw the word ‘Grandma’.

“Grandma, it’s been a while!”

– Yes, Hamin. Did you meet the benefactor?

“…Benefactor?”

Chae Hamin tilted his head.

– Judging by your good voice, it seems like you’ve met him. If you hadn’t met him, your voice wouldn’t be so good.

Only then does Chae Hamin recall the fortune that his grandmother told him in the past. Anyway, she says it seems like I’ve met my benefactor. It was just a joke, but is she really talking about Dong-hwa?

“Um, I have a friend I’ve become close to recently!”

– Hamin, listen carefully. Just meeting him is a great favor, so you must treat that friend with all your heart.

“Hey, you know I’m good to my friends.”

– Your fortune doesn’t say you’ll have many friends. Anyway, you’ve avoided a great harm that you would have originally suffered, so you must treat him well, okay?

Chae Hamin, who had become serious by his grandmother’s serious voice, answered seriously.

“…Okay, Grandma.”

– Okay. I just wanted to confirm that you met him. I’ll hang up now.

“Goodbye, Grandma!”

Looking at the phone that had been disconnected, Chae Hamin began to worry.

‘Should I make mushroom soup for Dong-hwa…?’