Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 170

170.

Rules. Something that was always emphasized in conversations with Giseaeng, and something Giseaeng broke for me countless times. Rules are necessary for a group to be maintained.

I guessed that, for some reason, his workplace needed a new employee, and Yieon was selected as a candidate for that new employee. So, I thought his rotten intention was to make Yieon learn the rules of possibility in advance and conform to them.

It was derived from several clues, but it was just a guess I had in my mind because the leap of thought was severe. More precisely, it was a suspicion. But the suspicion became a fact due to Giseaeng’s silence.

‘Ah… I feel like making a space-time disturbance bomb and detonating it myself.’

When Giseaeng said that before, I asked what he was doing, but now I can fully understand that feeling.

[I agree! Those damn old men!]

I know, those damn old men. They seemed to be going where the dead go, but I want to kill them one more time. They were once human beings themselves, so what do they think of human life?

Knowing the future doesn’t mean that life has no value. Even if the past, present, and future are all experienced like the present, all those presents will have their own meaning.

But the story is different if there is no room for one’s will to intervene in that present. What’s the difference between that and watching a very boring movie? Moreover, it’s basically ‘my’ story, so I’m so emotionally invested that it’s painful, but it’s a trashy play where that emotion doesn’t lead to catharsis.

‘I want to screw them over. Somehow.’

I want to smash a brick into Junseong’s mouth, who is muttering about letting Yieon go without knowing anything in front of me. There were too many historical tragedies caused by ignorance for not knowing anything to be a shield.

So, let’s just forget about etiquette for a word.

“Sunbae-nim [senior colleague or mentor], are you in your right mind?”

Because there are humans who can’t even express anger according to their own will, just once, instead.

* * *

Giseaeng watched Ji Donghwa’s trembling hands on the monitor. He slowly stroked the head of Jawa, a self-learning AI puppy.

“Woof!”

“Yeah, that human seems to be very pissed off, Jawa.”

“Woof! Woof woof!”

“That’s right. It was something I couldn’t help. Our Jawa, you’re so cute. You even comfort me. You’re more precious to me than Simba.”

Giseaeng smiled. The time spent floating in an empty space and living only relying on Jawa was terribly painful. Fortunately, Jawa’s AI is perfectly autonomous, so he could endure it because it was functionally no different from a dog. If Jawa had moved only according to his expectations, it would have been difficult to live with emotions.

Ji Donghwa’s guess was quite accurate.

Rules. Something that is absolutely necessary for any group to exist as a group. Siun-gwan [a mysterious organization] is basically operated by those who have gained a high understanding of the world in various dimensions, but that alone was not enough to handle the number of newly created dimensions.

So, creating someone who can conform to the rules. Raising an efficient doll whose will has naturally been shattered while living a long life that flows only according to possibilities.

“When I first heard it, I thought, ‘Am I so emotionally dry? It’s someone else’s business, so why should I care?'”

But now Giseaeng could understand Ji Donghwa’s feelings. Because he had a fragment of emotion.

“Hmm, what should I do, Jawa? Should I screw them over once?”

“Woof!”

“Right? ‘I’m’ so angry, but it’s a bit much for me to just stand still. Should I destroy all the superstrings in Siun-gwan first? The facilities will all collapse and have to be rebuilt.”

Come to think of it, he had something he had made as a last resort when he was suffering from Chronos [a powerful entity or state of being].

“Woof! Woof woof!”

Jawa got up from his seat and jumped up and down as if he was excited.

“That’s right. That’s right. Who cares about the rules of the world? It would look a little strange if only my facilities were left, so let’s secretly fold up some space.”

“Woof woof!”

“It’s just an accident, after all. Right, Jawa?”

Giseaeng smiled, implying, ‘I didn’t do anything.’

Jawa proudly straightened his body and put the terror weapon Giseaeng made in his mouth. It is a terror weapon that will destroy the entire Siun-gwan facility within 3 minutes if activated. The managers who never die will survive on their own anyway, but they will probably be unconscious for a week based on Earth time.

“You have to come back within 30 seconds of activating it. That way, you can frame another guy.”

“Woof!”

Our Jawa is just like his owner, even his twisted personality!

Giseaeng laughed like a madman. Ah, yeah, I wanted to turn things upside down at least once. Thanks to the preparations I made in advance, it’s perfect for framing someone. Ah, I’m so excited. Who should I screw over?

For a while, even if our bug destroys all the possibilities of his world, Giseaeng himself can just pretend to be unconscious for a week.

From the most rational point of view, while our bug is helping Yieon, he can just pick a new person and use them as a test subject, but our bug wouldn’t want that. If so, let’s paralyze the entire Siun-gwan while our bug is achieving what he wants. At least a month, or even a year. By the time things are sorted out, the situation will already be over.

Yeah, you can’t just live too rationally. Sometimes, follow your emotions.

* * *

Junseong acted as if his thoughts had stopped at my short question. In times like this, you have to be rational and calm. Filter out what you can’t say, but don’t deviate from the truth, and achieve the minimum goal.

One word, one word carefully.

“Would you still say that even if saying he wants to leave isn’t his own will?”

“…Usually, people don’t say such important things according to their own will?”

“You never know. Haven’t you seen many people around you making unwanted choices sometimes, Sunbae-nim?”

I’ve seen a lot. Because there was a time when I was at the bottom of the world. Not having money means that the choices you can make are reduced. It is common to choose even if you don’t want to because there is not even ‘the better one’. It’s a different case from Yieon, but it’s okay to make this much logical error.

“…That’s right. Sometimes.”

Is it because of those damn superiors that our quite clever TOT leader [Team Leader of Team] is acting like an idiot? If not, a brick is urgent.

Junseong’s expression hardened. He closed his eyes tightly as if he was in pain. Oh dear, at such a good moment to dig in.

“I think it’s better to stop him. If he still leaves after that, it’s his own will.”

Junseong got up from the sofa. He slowly tried to nod, but grabbed his head with both hands.

“……Ah, why does my head hurt so much from earlier?”

“I think you’ll regret it if you don’t stop him.”

The reason for the pain was confirmed in Yieon’s case. But pain is nothing compared to the regret Junseong will experience later, right?

“Will you promise me that you will stop him?”

Anyway, his mind is focused on the pain. There won’t be time to wonder, ‘Why are you going so far?’ I don’t know the detailed rules of possibility, but if I’m a bug, and if I’ve made a promise with such a bug, wouldn’t it be possible?

Of course, I don’t think the possibility will be twisted by just this, but at least Yieon should have one person on his side for the world to be right.

“Ah, just, wait a minute.”

“Yieon Sunbae is just hoping that Sunbae-nim will stop him.”

I’m saying it as if it’s Yieon’s thought, but since it’s a lie I made up, there won’t be any repulsion.

Junseong buried his head in his legs.

Originally, extreme measures involve pain. If pain can be used as medicine, it’s not bad.

“You have to promise me.”

I slowly patted Junseong’s back and whispered. Pain makes the mind hazy. In terrible solitude, humans tend to gain honesty.

“Don’t you cherish Yieon Sunbae? Don’t you want to stop him?”

The whispering sound stimulated a sense of rebellion. The denial that ‘I don’t cherish him’ leads to the denial of the question that follows, ‘Don’t you want to stop him?’ The two questions are linked together, and there is a sense of rebellion against everything.

How much can you resist what possibility forces? I just hope that human irrational impulses and rebelliousness, and the anger at the nonsense that a junior who doesn’t know anything is spouting, can overcome possibility.

Since his very existence is a bug, I hope he will use it well, Yieon Sunbae.

“You used to say he was your most cherished younger brother, are you just good at talking?”

Junseong grabbed his head and shouted. Driven by anger, to get rid of the pain that filled his head.

“Stop it! I cherish him! I’ll stop him!”

Surprisingly, the moment he spat out those words, the pain that had been threatening Junseong disappeared, and he collapsed on the sofa as if he had collapsed.

Damn it, I’ve ruined a sunbae-hoobae [senior-junior] relationship like this. A bitter taste lingered in my mouth. He’s been helping me a lot since my debut.

“…Um, I didn’t mean to do this.”

I’ve never had this happen to anyone else, so I didn’t know it would be this painful. Maybe it’s because it’s related to Yieon. Anyway, although it was unexpected, it seemed good to dig into the gap where the human mind is weak due to the pain that came at the right time. But wasn’t it too inhumane? Morally, this wouldn’t be the right thing to do.

Seeing Junseong collapsed made me feel a little uneasy. The pain of conscience is quite serious. Kant’s saying that no matter how good the purpose is, if the means are not good, it’s a waste of time, feels like tap dancing on my conscience.

Should I send a text to Yieon first? It seems likely that he also collapsed in pain.

I covered Junseong with a blanket and sighed deeply. Damn it, I should knit something. I got up from my seat and sat down as if lying down in a comfortable chair in front of the computer in the studio.

The scarf had been knitted for quite a long time, but it was only about ninety percent complete because I was knitting each stitch carefully.

Even if my relationship with Junseong deteriorates due to this incident, I will accept it sweetly because I have to take responsibility for my choices. I thought I was used to making and breaking relationships, but I don’t know why my heart is so heavy.

As I was knitting the scarf without thinking, a text notification rang.

― Can I ask what you’ve done?

‘Um, I lost a precious sunbae.’

I didn’t send any reply and just closed my phone. It’s more common for me to be out of contact than a sudden summer shower, so it’ll be okay.

Rustling sound. And the sound of the collar rubbing against the blanket. Ah, the time has come.

“…Donghwa Hoobae [junior colleague]?”

Damn it.

“Yes, Sunbae-nim.”

I just kept knitting without looking at Junseong.

“……What the hell was that?”

“It was advice for my beloved Sunbae-nim.”

Ryoo Ideun’s Social Skills Special Lecture Advanced Edition, Lecture 16. When you think you’ve made a mistake to a relatively close person, add the word ‘I love you’ first.

If it doesn’t work, I’m going to hit Ryoo Ideun’s head with a brick.