Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 172

172.

I want to run away. But it’s basically my responsibility, so I’m holding on.

“Yeon!”

Could you please go out and cry.

This time, the phone screen lit up. 8 missed calls, 40 messages.

Haha, I’m screwed. I didn’t know it would have such a big result. I just wanted to make a friend for Yeon, who is mentally younger than me. It was no different from when Mok-hwa was elected class president and I thought, ‘Hamburgers are quite expensive.’

I was so wrong, what am I even.

“…Sunbae-nim [senior].”

“Heuh. Eu.”

Oh dear, my heart aches. So please go out and stop Yeon-sunbae’s rampage. Now that I truly believe in you, I trust you will resolve it well.

The phone rings again.

I sighed once and answered the phone.

“Hello, my beloved Sunbae-nim.”

Ryui-deun, I believe in you, again and again.

―…Did you take drugs? Or did someone hit you in the head with a brick?

“I’m serious.”

―First… explain what’s going on.

I took a sip of coffee.

“I made a friend for him.”

―……Jun-sung hyung [older brother/senior] is already a friend.

“It’s different now.”

―Ha, seriously, I’m so grateful.

“Are you speaking of your own volition right now?”

―Uh, it feels very unfamiliar again. Jun-sung hyung isn’t looking at his phone, so can you switch the call to him for a moment? I want to tell him right away because I don’t know when this will end.

“Then, after you finish talking, it would be nice if you could go to the company and tell them you’re going to renew your contract.”

I said that and glanced at Jun-sung. He was looking at me with big eyes, tears faintly flowing down his face. For a moment, I wondered if it was right to have him talk in that state, but I was too exhausted from using my brain too much.

The Chae Ha-min-style way of thinking, ‘…Wouldn’t it work out somehow?’ filled my head, and I nonchalantly handed over the phone. The saying ‘evil company corrupts good manners’ is so accurate.

* * *

While Jun-sung, crying, took the phone and went outside to talk, Ji Dong-hwa calmly lay down on the chair.

―So, Gi Ji-saeng.

[Yes?]

―What the hell did you do?

[Oh my, you noticed!]

―What kind of nonsense did you do to make utilitarianism seem good?

Sitting cross-legged on the ruined space, stroking Jawa’s head, Gi Ji-saeng smiled brightly.

“Jawa, how should we answer?”

“Woof, woof!”

“You’re saying we should ignore them instead of answering? You know your master’s heart best, our Jawa.”

Gi Ji-saeng, going crazy in solitude. Interfering with the world’s possibilities from outside the world is a big burden, but the possibility itself collapsed due to a bug. The rules of the world were maintained somewhat based on Yeon’s prophecy, so a major change occurred in Yeon’s possibilities.

“Ah, I screwed up.”

Living alone for a long time after separating from his younger sibling, abandoning philosophy and dedicating everything to science. A man who abandoned the simple choice of an apple and explored the possibility of time regression with some kind of madness, the epitome of irrationality. He majored in physics in the United States with the money he had saved, then worked as a professor, and at the same time, he was called a crazy person in academia.

It was a life of ‘Ji Dong-hwa’ that was so different from the current Ji Dong-hwa. How did he feel when he faced the possibility at the end of that life? When he realized that all the reasons his life was so messed up were just because of predetermined rules, what did ‘Ji Dong-hwa’ feel?

“I don’t remember.”

A space with nothing. Literally an empty space. When he first came here, what kind of heart did he have when he dreamed of changing possibilities? And when he realized that he could screw up the possibilities centered around Yeon and Ji Dong-hwa, what kind of heart did he have when he created the terror weapon?

“I can’t remember my emotions, Jawa.”

And now, as he watches the possibility finally collapse in the world he manages, what is he feeling?

That’s the problem. He’s one of the people who has come closest to the truth of the world, but he can’t even know his own feelings. This whole industry is like this. A place where things that aren’t even human pretend to manage the world. A world where things that were once human have become dull over the years, obsessed with their position, and lost their humanity.

I wanted to screw them all over, big time.

So now, how does he feel about accomplishing that?

“Woof!”

Jawa frantically licked his hand with a tongue that produced no saliva for his master, who had suddenly fallen into thought. Gi Ji-saeng quietly stared at the sight, then smiled slightly.

“…I should make a rabbit, a fox, and a dinosaur too.”

A world where there are no beings that can be called human, Gi Ji-saeng, who has uniquely become closer to humans, made plans to create animals to which he could attach himself.

―…You didn’t do anything dangerous, did you, Gi Ji-saeng.

He has so much unnecessary affection, worrying about him, who has lived much longer than himself, as if he were an older brother. Gi Ji-saeng smiled as he thought that.

“Jawa, do you think that human over there will be different from me?”

“Woof……”

Jawa nodded a few times and answered. So smart. Anyway, this is a big problem. By the time that human comes here, I’ll be gone.

“It’s okay. That human will solve it again.”

He couldn’t find a solution, but if he just handed over the data before he disappeared, it would work out somehow. The timeline is twisted beyond repair, and all of this is what he chose. In the first place, when he touched Ji Dong-hwa’s timeline, it was something he had already expected.

If the past changes, the future is synchronized, and if it goes too far, it disappears. That’s why other managers are so obsessed with possibilities.

Anyway, he couldn’t solve it in a few decades, so Gi Ji-saeng just laughed.

“Jawa, I’ll make you a friend.”

“Woof……”

“Oh, our Jawa is secretly thinking a lot about his master.”

Jawa continued to lie down and act cute. Looking at that, Gi Ji-saeng was able to completely shake off his thoughts. Okay, that’s enough. There’s no regret. Now I just have to wait for the day I die. I’ve lived an eternal life to this extent.

* * *

“Dong-hwa, you’re back?”

When I returned from the studio, Chae Ha-min greeted me with some strange green substance smeared on his face. What is that, you.

“Ah, Iduen hyung [older brother/senior] gave this to me to take care of my skin. Sit here, I’ll do it for you too.”

Well, now that I think about it, it seems like it’s time to take care of my skin too. After washing my face, I sat cross-legged under Chae Ha-min’s bed, and Chae Ha-min brought a plate and brush filled with a sticky green mass.

“It’s supposed to help with mental care too.”

“…Is that some kind of drug?”

Is he grinding marijuana and sticking it on his face?

“Uh, I don’t really know, but it’s supposed to be calming because of some nice scent.”

You’re wearing it right now, but you’re not calm at all, Ha-min.

Enough with the nonsense, anyway, Chae Ha-min applied the green mass to my face with a brush. Damn it, the texture is weird.

“So, what did you do, Dong-hwa?”

That’s right, what did I do, Ha-min.

“…Talk to Jun-sung sunbae [senior]?”

“Why the question mark?”

You don’t understand, do you? I don’t either.

I thought back to the situation just now. Jun-sung, who had gone out to make a phone call, came back and hugged me, crying like crazy and thanking me. When I calmed him down and received Yeon’s call again, even that side was crying and shouting thank you.

Even if I don’t know much about society, at least threatening someone, instilling fear, and intimidating them shouldn’t be something to be thanked for. Of course, it may be a good thing as a result, but I was prepared for Jun-sung to distance himself from me.

“Um, I guess I did something to be thanked for.”

Maybe. Maybe he enjoys pain. I have the tolerance to accept that much.

“Wow…, Dong-hwa, you keep doing amazing things.”

“You’re amazing too.”

“Hey, you always say empty words when you’re embarrassed.”

“I am embarrassed.”

You’re spreading it, that damn mass. My face is itchy.

“It’s not an empty word.”

Why don’t you know how amazing you are? That’s why I call you and the other members idiots.

When Chae Ha-min was doing the last brushstroke and was speechless and stunned, the door burst open. The wind leaking out as the door opened ruffled my hair.

“Ji Dong-hwa, come out!”

A loan shark has come to find me.

“Yeon sunbae-nim [senior], what brings you here.”

I would like to cautiously suggest that you be a little busier as a top idol.

“I came to thank you because I completed the contract!”

Jun-sung, standing awkwardly behind Yeon, was also faintly visible.

“I love you, Ji Dong-hwa!”

Get lost.

Yeon ran over and hugged me tightly. The weak gesture of resistance was immediately ignored. Chae Ha-min was also widening his eyes and pursing his lips as if asking what the situation was.

“No matter what happens, I declared to the company that I would renew my contract.”

Yeon said that and buried his face in my shoulder. I’m sorry, but I have a lot of green monster sap on my face right now, so get lost!

“I don’t even remember it anymore. I don’t understand, but you helped me, right?”

There, Jun-sung sunbae-nim [senior]. Don’t just look at me with a pleased expression.

“I’ll dedicate my whole life to repaying you. Really, thank you so much.”

Jun-sung, feeling my gaze, finally seemed to think of stopping him and approached.

“Me too, thank you. I’m thinking of dedicating about half of my life.”

…Ah, please all get lost. I’m too rational to have a conversation with a human who enjoys pain.

* * *

Lee Hyun-jae tugged at my sleeve while looking at SNS [Social Networking Service].

“Hyung [older brother/senior], hyung, the sunbaes [seniors] are promoting us as a group……?”

I don’t know either, those damn things.

The music will be released immediately after today’s showcase, and they’re promoting it so that people will listen to it somehow. Is that right? Is that okay? I can only hope that the TIMER (TOT fandom name) will understand with their wide generosity.

“Wow…, it’s amazing. Surprisingly, there are quite a few people who are looking forward to our comeback this time. The number of posts in the community is……”

I straightened my clothes. A white shirt, brown suspenders, and a beret. What kind of clothes are these for young children? I’ve always been dissatisfied with the costumes while working as an idol, but I really can’t believe it. I’d rather wear a choker and ripped jeans.

The stylist who was passing by looked at me with amusement at my reaction.

“If you don’t like the costume, should we take off a little next time?”

Oh my god. How can you say such a thing without batting an eye.

“This time, I wanted to expose Iduen a little bit, but the concept was too sentimental, so I’m disappointed. How about a sexier song next time.”

Thank you for the good advice. I will never use it. And by the way, you already did it.

Ryui-deun, wearing a costume, was visible next to me. I don’t know what they did to his back, but it was split vertically, revealing his spine. I’ve long since given up on the idea of whether such a costume would suit the song I wrote. And Chae Ha-min on the opposite side. I don’t know what they did to his arms, but they were split, and his elbows were sticking out. The top was a little short, so his stomach might be visible if he moved too much.

“Is the time waiting for you… like that feeling?”

No. It’s basically somewhere between sentimentality and excitement, like autumn sunshine. Would there be any crazy person who wears clothes like that in the fall? Even in the summer, it would be reported for disturbing public order.

“No. It’s much more demure than those clothes, right?”

“……Right?”

Thank goodness, at least I’m not the one who made the members look like that.