Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 198

―No brain-farting, the atmosphere is already weird enough, lol.

└Shut up. Can you give up the relationship where a *hyung* [older brother or male friend] writes songs for his *dongsaeng’s* [younger brother or male friend’s] group? Is your *deokjil* [intense fangirling/fanboying] a joke? You have to endure all the crap to do it! Wake up! Even in my imagination, it’s already freaking delicious. └Here’s another over-reactor. ―But I think I know what you mean. ㅇㅇ This time, Hoppin has a bit of a teen drama vibe, and from the beat to the melody, it feels so sophisticated, so it feels even more like that. It’s exactly the Ji Donghwa line, like a student at a super expensive university. └I think I know what you mean, it’s so bougie, lololololol. Donghwa’s songs all smell expensive. ―That’s just speculation.

└Yeah, there’s no proof yet.

Mok-hwa burst out laughing as he read the comments.

“There’s no way.”

“Why? It feels similar, though.”

“If that were the case…”

Mok-hwa leaned back on the sofa as if collapsing. He felt languid, perhaps because he had just finished the pre-recording.

“There’s no way *Hyung* [older brother or male friend] wouldn’t have told me.”

He was certain. There was no way. Unlike himself, his *hyung* wasn’t the type to like surprises, and he liked him so much, there was no way he wouldn’t say anything about giving him such a big gift, twice. They had a bond.

Kim Hyun-jin asked with a mischievous, fairy-like expression, as if he had caught the scent of a fun prank.

“Then, if he didn’t tell you, you’d be really upset.”

“…Well, I wouldn’t be upset.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, unless he told someone else first, not really…”

“Then, you’d be a little pissed if someone else already knew, right.”

“…Maybe, a little?”

Mok-hwa stared at Kim Hyun-jin with a ‘Why is he making such a fuss?’ expression, then glared sharply.

“Did you know? Is it true?”

“Whoa, he’s going to kill me! Scary! Jin-han *hyung*! [older brother or male friend] Hide me!”

“Why, what is it, why, why? I’m sensitive.”

Liar. It’s obvious he’s not surprised.

Growing up under Ji Dong-hwa as a child was like trying to figure out the emotions of the most emotionally inept person. It wasn’t Ji Dong-hwa’s intention, but Mok-hwa had become someone who had excellently played the hardcore difficulty level of emotion detection.

“Ah, I saw this too.”

After hearing the whole story, Jin-han stood in front of Mok-hwa, shielding Kim Hyun-jin behind him.

“If you heard it before me, I’m going to fight you, Hyun-jin.”

“Boo, that’s so petty! It was just a joke! That’s too much!”

Mok-hwa, in the special position of being someone who followed his *hyung* like a father, was in a position where he couldn’t accept that his *hyung* had told someone else the secret first, at least.

And Jin-han, who was suddenly about to fight Mok-hwa, whom he prided himself on being the only person he couldn’t control in the team, slowly broke out in a cold sweat.

‘Ah, sometimes there are difficulties in the world that arise regardless of my will.’

He was smart, but sometimes when he was sure that he couldn’t control something like this, he became afraid.

* * *

“This song, I actually wrote it with a theme you wanted to do before.”

“*Hyung*, I have a bad headache…”

“Endure it. That’s what drinking is.”

Originally, the lesson that the first drink teaches you is completed only after overcoming the hangover. You have to realize that you really need to restrain yourself, and you have to engrave that in your bones. We definitely promised to work together tomorrow before drinking, so you have to endure it.

Especially, that damn *maknae* [youngest member] is already gone in that he enjoyed the alcohol, even though his alcohol tolerance is in the middle of us.

If it gets any worse, I’m going to send an SOS signal to Yoon Seong-ho and lend him out for two days, but I don’t want to hand over my mentee to that crazy scientist, so I hope he comes to his senses around here.

“No, really… what’s delicious is bad for you…”

Usually, it’s not delicious, you crazy human.

“Anyway, shall we listen to it together?”

“…Will I be able to hear it properly?”

Lee Hyun-jae lay down on the sofa as if he was sick. The very fact that he was constantly talking meant that he could endure it. If he was really struggling, he should have already collapsed at the dorm.

“If you can’t hear it, we can just play it again until you can hear it.”

“…Ah, it’s even more annoying because *Hyung* knows that if I look really tired, he’ll let me rest.”

Why is that annoying?

“Ugh, how does he know so well what I can handle…”

Music is attractive. It seems that it’s not special that philosophers from the East and West focused on music. It’s mysterious.

This song is based on a classical piece left by my mother. The violin sounds that come in from time to time are beautiful, and the sounds of various instruments that burst out in the chorus are beautiful.

For reference, I got a little help from Hwa-yang’s connections for the instrument sound recording. It would be better for me to learn all the instruments myself so I don’t have to be in debt.

“Wow, what is this?”

“It’s good, right?”

It has to be good. Originally, I was going to use it as our title track, but no matter how I looked at it, it seemed like Hyun-jae, it was your solo song, so I bowed ninety degrees to the A&R [Artists and Repertoire] team members and asked them to turn it into your solo song.

“…It’s like using instruments as paint to draw a landscape. It’s delicate and beautiful.”

His expression is poetic, perhaps because he’s planning to major in Korean literature.

“The theme is trees.”

“Trees? It doesn’t feel rough.”

“It’s the process of a small tree growing under a huge tree, reaching out its branches towards the sunlight.”

Lee Hyun-jae closed his eyes without saying a word. In this song that filled the studio, the notes were moving forward delicately, step by step. As if a branch was craving light, carefully reaching out its branches to escape from this darkness.

And when the atmosphere was heightened by the violin, a symphony burst out from within. As if the branches were simultaneously blooming leaves.

Lee Hyun-jae closed his eyes and shed a tear. Honestly, I don’t know. Why he’s crying, what kind of imagination is unfolding in his head. Lee Hyun-jae shed exactly two tears, took a deep breath, and opened his eyes.

I just handed him a handkerchief without saying a word.

“Ah…, damn it, it’s unfair. You write so well. How am I supposed to put lyrics on this?”

“For a Korean literature major at Korea University, that’s about the same difficulty as getting Ryu Iden drunk.”

“I’m majoring in Korean literature, not creative writing. I was going to analyze it if *Hyung* wrote it.”

Who doesn’t know? He just wants to tease me.

“…So, what’s the song title?”

“It’s a working title, for now.”

I looked around this dark studio. Come to think of it, I’ve been keeping the blackout curtains closed. I installed them because I have to sleep here often.

I got up and raised the blackout curtains. As the sunlight poured in through the rising gap, it filled the room with a warm energy.

“I’ve tentatively named it ‘Ripe’.”

“Um, here it means ‘mature’, right?”

“Yeah.”

It’s worth studying English hard together.

“You’re also aiming for the similar pronunciation to ‘Life’, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Amazing……. *Hyung*, if the fans knew you had a working title, they’d all be surprised.”

They’d say I’m a nerd, Hyun-jae.

“Actually, my image has been a little weirdly captured by the fans these days.”

“Ah, I know. They call you Ji-eun-gwang, short for ‘eun-eun-han gwang-gi’ (subtle madness).”

“Even though the nickname is given with affection…”

There are times when I really want to ignore such nicknames. There are so many members who could be given the nickname ‘madness’ besides me, why was I elected?

Maybe it’s the same logic as getting hurt when you tease a short person about their height. The truth is, I’m the least crazy….

“No, *Hyung*.”

Lee Hyun-jae shook his head and muttered.

“*Hyung*, you deserve it enough. You’re the quietest crazy person I’ve ever seen.”

“I don’t know.”

“Ordinary people don’t churn out songs of this quality like they’re made in a factory. You’re working on this and our title track, and the OST [Original Sound Track], and you’ve already given a song to Hoppin, right? But they say that geniuses and madmen are only a paper apart.”

That’s right. It’s the difference between having a diagnosis and not. In the same vein, the difference between a madman and a criminal is also a paper apart.

“*Hyung* is someone who periodically has a piece of paper that appears and disappears. I saw it exactly.”

Oh dear, my mind is detachable. Even if a talking turtle suddenly appears, I’ll be able to avoid it with wit. I’ll have to dry it in the sun.

* * *

While I was writing lyrics with Lee Hyun-jae for a while, a special notification sound rang. It meant Mok-hwa. As soon as I answered the phone, a voice that seemed to be suppressing something flowed from the receiver.

―*Hyung*, did you, by any chance, write our song?

Ah, Jin-han, really. I was going to keep it a secret until Mok-hwa’s birthday—for reference, Mok-hwa’s birthday is September 13th.

To tear open a surprise gift this early. There’s no such thing as bad manners like this. I don’t know what Mok-hwa is holding back, but it feels similar to the excitement of finding out a secret. There’s no point in denying it.

“…Ta-da, surprise.”

Pfft, Lee Hyun-jae, who was holding paper and biting a pencil next to me, couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Judging by the similar laughter heard over the receiver, it doesn’t seem bad. Soon, Mok-hwa’s laughter subsided, and my name was called again.

―*Hyung*.

“Yeah, Mok-hwa.”

―Why did you keep it a secret?

“Birthday present.”

―If nonsense is too much……. No, *Hyung*.

What, the ‘ral’ sound should have been louder.

―Sometimes, I really, really can’t understand *Hyung*, really.

“…Really?”

―Yeah. Why would you surprise me with something like this……. Ah, really. I lost a bet because of *Hyung*, and I’m going to fight with one of the members.

Oh dear.

“Violence is not allowed, Mok-hwa. And if the bet isn’t documented, there’s no legal problem, so ignore it.”

Come to think of it, I also seem to be becoming more violent these days because of Ryu Iden, so I need to restrain myself.

―Aaaaaah! *Hyung*! *Hyung* is really! That’s not the point! I! Really! Ugh, just wait, I’m going to do something stupid too.

“Mok-hwa?”

I urgently called out to Mok-hwa, but the phone had already been hung up. Lee Hyun-jae looked at me holding the phone and stiffening in confusion, then asked as if in doubt.

“…What’s wrong? *Hyung*, did you make a mistake?”

A mistake, I did give a little surprise, but this was a cute idea for me to call it a mistake.

“No, I don’t think I did anything.”

“No. *Hyung* sometimes makes mistakes without realizing it. Very rarely, *Hyung’s* common sense is out of touch with the world.”

But then, you can’t call that common sense anymore.

“…Yeah. Maybe.”

Whatever it is, seeing Mok-hwa acting like that, I must have done something wrong. I have to leave an apology message.

“What should I send.”

“First of all, if you prostrate yourself in repentance, about half of the sin will be reduced, right?”

“…You seem familiar with it.”

I used to do that often when I was young. Thinking that, I opened the text window without much thought.

“What’s this again.”