Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 2

2.

…I just want to hide under the covers for exactly 3 minutes, no more, no less.

I raised my head and looked at the guy sitting in front of me. That look, that look of being worried to death about me, is so embarrassing and… sigh.

“So, you’re saying I collapsed during the final selection for the debut team? And you think the reason is… because of them?”

Even if it’s not ‘me,’ there’s no way I’d collapse because of such low-level bullying, right? It’s probably the aftereffects of the space-time travel.

“Yeah…….”

I didn’t even need to meet him.

“I see.”

“…Are you okay?”

What’s not okay? And I’m not cut out to be a celebrity in the first place. Especially since it feels like I’m in the debut group, there’s no way someone like me, who lacks social skills, can do a job like an idol.

I need to answer somehow, so yeah, it’s better to say it like this.

“Um… I was actually thinking of giving up. So, I don’t really feel anything.”

Then, Chae Hamin looked at me with a face as if the world was collapsing and lowered his head.

Um, no matter how many times I repeat what I said, there’s nothing particularly problematic…….

“I see… it must have been really hard.”

…I don’t think so.

“Okay. Let’s find another company together.”

…Huh? He kept talking, not noticing my flustered expression.

“I was reluctant to debut with those guys either.”

Ha, I don’t want to criticize him for being too nice. He probably misunderstood what I said about considering giving up in a different way.

So, he’s worried that I’m giving up on debuting because of the bullying, so he’s saying he’ll leave the company with me?

I heard yesterday that he safely took the exam before taking me out after I collapsed.

He hasn’t even been confirmed to be in the debut group yet, and he’s saying he’ll leave with me?

“Actually, my friend made a suggestion to me…….”

“Wait a minute.”

I need to stop this rabbit guy before he goes any further.

“I know it’s burdensome. But I’ve always felt guilty that I just watched when you were being bullied by those kids, right before your debut…….”

I could feel his guilt creeping out as he carefully chose each word.

I see. He’s the type who’s kind but a bit clueless.

He’s like a class president who tries to help the kids who are on the fringes at school. He’s outgoing, but he can’t adapt to this dirty society.

“So, let’s try just one more time together, Dong-hwa.”

He said resolutely, like a rabbit declaring he’ll quit carrots.

This is very difficult. It’s hard to refuse firmly.

If I refuse, it’s obvious that he’ll make a fuss, saying, ‘Ah, I should have acted a little earlier. It’s because I couldn’t stop the bullying that this happened.’

It’s typical for a guy who’s so kind and clueless to insist that it’s his fault, even when it’s not, and make a fuss about how his morality is flawed.

Actually, I just met him, so who cares… but I’m still bothered by it.

Should I listen to him? And if I find a flaw in the suggestion his friend made, he’ll go back to the debut group.

Then I can stay away from idols like before.

“…What’s the suggestion your friend made?”

He smiled brightly with a bright expression and started talking.

Too bad. I’m going to tear that suggestion to shreds no matter what.

I’m already excited to logically tear down the hopeful guy.

* * *

I came out of Gat Enter’s main gate with Chae Hamin and felt doubtful. Was he actually already decided to leave because he liked his friend’s suggestion?

In conclusion, Chae Hamin’s friend’s suggestion was one that a trainee would have no reason to dislike… if they had the skills.

Let’s go back to the conversation with Chae Hamin that started in the cafe where we sat side by side.

First of all, Chae Hamin, who believes that my memory is unstable, started to talk about the problems of Gat Enter one by one as if teaching a child.

“Dong-hwa, Gat Enter is originally a company that mainly manages actors, but they’re launching an idol group for the first time this time.”

In other words, it’s a project that a small and medium-sized company started without knowing anything because they heard that idols make money.

“So, the chances of getting proper support after debuting are low, and the management seems a bit strange.”

…I see.

“…Then why were you in this company?”

“My uncle works at this entertainment company. He told me to come in. I was originally going to go somewhere else, but it’s a family request!”

Chae Hamin has that reason, but how stupid was ‘I’ to have come to this kind of company? Even if it’s ‘I,’ I can’t help but swear.

“…What’s the suggestion your friend made?”

“Ah! It’s a company that’s run with idols in mind, and they’re holding a debut survival program this time! First of all, 5 out of 10 participants debut, so the chances of success are pretty good.”

So why did this survival participation suggestion even reach Chae Hamin’s ears?

It’s because, coincidentally, two of the 10 participants left the company due to school violence issues, less than a month before the program started.

“I heard that there aren’t many talented people left among the trainees in the company. So, they seem to be quietly looking around!”

At this point, I raised the following question. According to the trainee diary, I clearly have average dancing and singing skills.

“I’m not that talented, so would I even catch the eye of the higher-ups at that company?”

“Um, you’re good enough, Dong-hwa.”

First shock.

“…Me? As a trainee in this company?”

“Well, I don’t know why someone with your skills came here either…….”

Ha, that’s why I can’t trust what ‘I’ say. He evaluated me according to his own standards again. I also thought my study skills were slightly above average when I was in school, so it’s understandable.

But even if the sky falls, there’s a hole to escape, right?

“…Actually, I don’t remember how to sing and dance very well.”

It was a blow I had prepared with some effort.

Judging by the way he’s talking, this rabbit [a naive or easily led person] seems to think I have enough skills, so I don’t care whether I go to the survival show or not.

With my subpar singing and dancing skills as a novelist, there’s no way I can go to a survival show.

Only then did Chae Hamin pause and think for a moment before grabbing my hand.

“Your singing and dancing skills will recover right away if you practice a little in the practice room!”

A hopeful guy. Theoretically, singing and dancing are both procedural memories, so what he’s saying isn’t wrong, but that’s ‘my’ story, not me… wait a minute.

‘…Knowledge synchronization.’

I’ve done all sorts of experiments, but I haven’t checked my singing and dancing skills.

Eh, no way. That’s not what knowledge synchronization is.

* * *

When I entered the practice room, I couldn’t help but be surprised by the more familiar feeling than I expected.

“Dong-hwa! How is it? Does it feel like you’re remembering things?”

“…I don’t know.”

The rankings of the last midterm evaluations were written on the wall.

‘Hmm…, I got 2nd in vocals, 2nd in dance, and 1st in composition.’

And then he said ‘average’ based on his own standards, right?

I start warming up, following a somehow familiar routine.

…It’s much more flexible than before.

After I finished warming up, I was about to play the song I had prepared to show at the audition, praying that it wasn’t true.

“Wow, we have a debut dropout here.”

…What, what’s with this ugly face? It’s an irrational face for an idol trainee.

“You’re as rude as your parents, serves you right.”

Um, low-class. I kept stretching my legs and asked Chae Hamin.

“…Who is he?”

Chae Hamin carefully whispered in my ear with an uncharacteristically stiff face.

“That’s Lee Ji-hyun, the one who led the bullying against you.”

…There’s no reason to whisper if you’re going to say it that loud, you rabbit.

“What’s up, Chae Hamin. Being rude.”

Um, a human who lacks self-reflection. Why doesn’t he know that he’s the rudest one?

“Why are you defending someone who’s going to fail anyway?”

I just ignored him, got up from my seat, and played the song.

“Hey, Ji Dong-hwa, are you ignoring me again?”

…Oh dear, he’s been ignored on a regular basis. I feel sorry for him.

I keep ignoring him and listen to the music. It’s better to properly check my skills with Chae Hamin than to respond to that kind of thing.

…Wow, seriously, my previous ‘I’ practiced so much that my body is moving unconsciously.

The body moving to the sensual R&B song uses even the muscles I don’t usually use and moves smoothly.

It feels like each part of my body is moving separately like a different creature. It’s strange, strange.

“Wow! Dong-hwa! Your skills are almost the same even with amnesia!”

Then, the person who was cursing at me was flustered by the word amnesia and just stared blankly at me dancing.

Hmm, I wonder what the singing is like. I became interested in how far knowledge synchronization is possible, so I immediately played the next song. The lyrics flowed out of my mouth as if it were natural.

There’s no matter for us

Cause It’s You and Me―

Must You Made for Me―

For me, For me

Oh, amazing. A human who has never sung before has grown this much overnight. The brain is truly amazing.

“Oh, Dong-hwa! You seem to be singing even better than usual!”

As soon as my song ended, the rude guy who I don’t even want to call by name quietly muttered.

“What amnesia… damn, a lie.”

I turned my head in that direction and replied indifferently.

“…I don’t know who you are, but do you have a problem with me?”

The guy stared blankly at me and shouted.

“Why are your skills the same even with amnesia! Damn, why is the guy who fell down the stairs, why, why is he better than me…….”

Hmm, I think I know what he’s going to say even if I don’t hear the rest. He’s a lump of inferiority complex. Judging from the situation, this guy, who envied ‘my’ skills, seems to have pushed me down the stairs.

And ‘I’ went to the audition even after being pushed down the stairs and then collapsed. Foolishly, why did I go so far?

Anyway, what about this ugly human? I don’t feel like it’s worth dealing with him.

It might be okay to advise him that it’s better to improve his skills than to eliminate his competitors, but that time is a waste.

I stared at him once and turned my head away.

“…Hamin, the skill check is over, let’s go.”

Then Chae Hamin, who was looking at me, smiled brightly and nodded.

The ugly guy just stood there quietly until we left the practice room.

* * *

…After that long process, I came out of Gat Enter’s main gate with Chae Hamin.

“Your skills are almost the same, so if you practice a little more, you’ll find your old skills!”

“…I guess.”

“Then you’ll apply for the survival show with me, right?”

“…….”

‘Ha, how did a rabbit [a naive or easily led person] corner me like this?’

How did things turn out like this?

There’s no excuse to back out here.

I’m clearly a 3-year idol trainee, my skills are almost the same even with amnesia, and according to Chae Hamin, I have enough skills to go to the survival show.

…Looking at it this way, it’s completely my fault. The problem is that I made the excuse that my skills didn’t come back because of amnesia.

But I don’t want to do it either. The entertainment industry is like a 역린 [yeokrin – a dragon’s only weak spot; a taboo subject for a superior].

First of all… I’ll say I’ll do it, and then I’ll have to create an excuse to run away later.

When I didn’t say anything, Chae Hamin looked at me with slightly anxious eyes, wondering if there was something wrong.

His eyes were sparkling, like a rabbit worrying that its owner would abandon it. …Damn it, he looks like that kid.

“…Thank you.”

I didn’t want to give a definite answer that I would go, so I indirectly turned it into a thank you, but he seemed to be very touched by that and started smiling again.

I sighed softly at the feeling that it was the same as getting a definite answer.

* * *

Chae Hamin asked me on the main street outside the company.

“Where are you going now?”

Where else would I go, I have to go home. I’m tired because I used a week’s worth of social skills when talking to the management people.

“If you don’t have any plans, do you want to go eat with me?”

I wanted to ask why he asked if he was going to do that without even hearing my answer, but I remembered that I hadn’t eaten anything all day.

“…What are we going to eat?”

“Let’s go eat what you like. I’ll pay in celebration of your confirmed resignation.”

What I like. It’s been a while since I’ve eaten it.

“…Wiener Schnitzel.”

Chae Hamin’s eyes, which were already round, became even rounder when he heard my words. Does he like it too? I was slightly hopeful…….

“What’s that?”

I was expecting too much. An individual who doesn’t know the taste of Wiener Schnitzel, just eat carrots for the rest of your life.

“…Buy me tonkatsu [Japanese pork cutlet].”

“Huh? Okay. I know a delicious place.”

Chae Hamin energetically led me to a restaurant that he knew was a popular spot. I’d prefer Japanese-style tonkatsu if possible, but it’s Western-style.

Besides, the feeling of cutting the tonkatsu that came out not long after I sat down is strange. Something, something squishy is inside…….

“Hamin, is there anything else in this besides meat… ?”

“Mushrooms!”

What, you rabbit [a naive or easily led person]? Why?

“We fried meat and mushrooms together. Mushrooms are delicious. I really like mushrooms.”

I guess so, herbivore. What crazy human puts mushrooms in tonkatsu…….

I carefully put a slice I had cut into my mouth, and swallowed it whole as if taking medicine as soon as I chewed it once. It’s disgustingly squishy.

Chae Hamin chewed and swallowed it well, not even bothered by this texture. I stared blankly at him and swallowed a few more slices before moving the tonkatsu to Chae Hamin’s plate.

“Aren’t you going to eat more?”

He looked slightly uneasy, wondering if it didn’t suit my taste.

Perhaps in his head, the thought of ‘There’s no way he wouldn’t like this delicious thing’ and the thought of ‘But what if he doesn’t’ are fighting.

‘It’s not just one in a million, it’s probably eight or nine out of ten…….’

However, it’s bad to criticize the food that someone else buys, so I shook my head and said.

“I can’t eat much originally.”

I hope he’d get rid of the look that said, ‘It’s so pitiful that you can’t eat all this delicious food.’

“…I’m glad there’s someone to eat the leftovers.”

“Right? Let’s come here often together.”

I didn’t answer and started eating rice and miso soup. Hoping that he would understand the meaning contained in this act.

“Dong-hwa, you eat rice as a palate cleanser. I eat it with tonkatsu.”

…A rabbit [a naive or easily led person] without a clue.