Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 204

Chae Hamin was startled and his eyes widened.

“What are they saying in the community, Hyeonjae?”

“They’re saying the foam is so thick, they thought it was a cappuccino.”

*How amusing, if that’s all.* Lee Hyeonjae knows it too—that he’s not really affected by such comments. Rather, the thought of Mokha or you saying, ‘Hyung, I’m disappointed,’ is more devastating. So, he must be telling me exactly what he read, honestly.

“Hyeo, Hyeonjae, you shouldn’t say it like that.”

Chae Hamin, ever considerate, waved his hands awkwardly, his whole body language screaming, ‘What do I do!’

“I want to launch a full investigation to find out where their ears are attached.”

Lee Hyeonjae glared at the tablet, fully expressing his annoyance. I knew he was always straightforward, but unlike before, when he was too busy studying to get angry, now he has so much time on his hands that he’s become much more intense.

“Haa, if I make a mistake, it’s a big deal.”

“Hyeonjae.”

Lee Hyeonjae, still glued to the tablet, reacted a little late when I called him.

“…Yes?”

“Don’t feel pressured.”

“…That’s…”

“This is your song.”

From the songwriting process to the production, everything was *your* song, not mine. I was just a tool, moving for Lee Hyeonjae. Because that’s what I wanted.

“And, I know you’re not bad enough to be criticized.”

I still don’t think of myself as a great composer, but it’s clear that I’m not someone who deserves to be torn apart. The music charts prove it. I can’t deny objective figures.

“Wow, our Donghwa hyung, finally!”

Ryoo Ideun clapped and exclaimed from the side.

“Finally, he admitted that he’s not human!”

What are you talking about, you crazy human?

“I was really wondering when you would evaluate yourself objectively, but finally!”

Oh dear, I was always objective.

* * *

Lee Hyeonjae barely came to his senses after seeing Gyeonhwon reaching out his hand. He had been a little dazed after hearing the words ‘my song.’

“You’re the main vocalist, right? I’ve heard a lot about you from Ideun. I’ve seen the videos too; you sing well.”

“Thank you. I listen to Rhythm of the Evening very often, too.”

“Hmm… reminds me of when I first saw Donghwa. Do you happen to know what story came out last week?”

“…Yes?”

The words ‘Would anyone remember that unless it was a legendary story?’ nearly slipped out, but Lee Hyeonjae barely held them back. He needed to be polite, not to tarnish the image of the *hyungs* [older brothers/male mentors] who care for him.

“No, it’s nothing. I must have been momentarily insane. Usually, that would never happen, but it was such a bizarre first meeting……”

Gyeonhwon looked at Lee Hyeonjae with warm eyes, as if finding him cute, because he reminded him of his nephew.

“I heard you’re singing your solo song for the first time today. It’s an honor, really. Fighting!” [A Korean expression of encouragement.]

And Gyeonhwon muttered that all the Blossem kids have decent visuals and turned around.

Lee Hyeonjae still felt the warm energy and rubbed his hands. It’s strange—the fact that some people have a warm aura in their gaze itself.

More than anything, it was surprising that there are people who look at most of the world coldly, but only look at a few people with warmth, even if they speak coldly.

“My song.”

This place is just a place to express what I wanted to say in a song. That must be what Donghwa *hyung* meant.

Ji Donghwa thought that the reason Lee Hyeonjae chose plum blossoms in the snow as the central theme of the song was a remnant of his senior year of high school, but that was not the correct answer.

Lee Hyeonjae worked harder than anyone to find a word that could express himself sincerely, and the answer he found was plum blossoms in the snow.

His parents’ gaze was not warm from the beginning. Even regarding this activity, they felt like it was a job he would quit after a few years anyway, so they sent him under someone reliable because of his stubbornness, planning for the future.

‘…Ah, I want to cut ties.’

Whenever he went home on his days off, they weren’t very interested, but every time they casually asked, ‘So, are you a little popular these days?’ and he thought about the fact that the words ‘Your popularity has dropped a bit, hasn’t it?’ were hidden beneath that question, yes.

So, home was like winter, and the dorm was like spring. The flow of the seasons cannot be reversed. So, ‘spring’ is used as a symbol of ‘hope that will surely come,’ like ‘the morning that will come like an era’ no matter what adversity there is.

At this point, shouldn’t we call the dorm ‘home,’ considering the meaning that the word ‘home’ implies?

The saying that the back waves of the Yangtze River push the front waves [a Chinese proverb meaning the new generation will surpass the old] is not there for nothing. An individual cannot reverse what ‘surely comes.’ That’s a meaningful attempt in literature, but I’m living in reality.

“Um, I see.”

I should cut ties.

I’m an adult, so what are you going to do? I’ll just create a new family register.

If Ji Donghwa heard that, he would be startled, saying that he didn’t tell him to solidify such thoughts and asking why he was suddenly speeding ahead.

On the other hand, Gisaeng, who was observing all of this, would be in shock in real-time, saying, ‘No, the probability didn’t affect it; how can it flow the same as last time?’

But Lee Hyeonjae doesn’t know that, so he just smiled brightly, enjoying the much more relieved feeling and the relaxed shoulders with the burden gone.

Rhythm of the Evening—not many people listen to the radio these days, but for those stuck in traffic on their way home, or for bored drivers, there’s no better entertainment.

However, idol fandoms listen to it even if they don’t fall into any of these categories. It’s even better if it’s a visible radio [a radio show that is also broadcast as a video]. Because even the breaks when music is playing on the radio are broadcast, countless clips are created.

Ji Donghwa’s fan was sitting in the department office near the end of the winter semester, waiting for her best friend to come. After the last catastrophe—the two consecutive scream incidents in the classroom while waiting for class—they formed a sworn sisterhood.

The ‘Blossem vs. Hoppin’ rivalry became blurred due to Mokha’s sudden revelation, and only the image of brother groups became strong. Therefore, they formed a strong alliance rather than an awkward companionship.

Since the companies are different, the feeling is a bit different, but having a real-life friend who is also a fan gives you a sense of security just by their existence.

However, she is currently feeling so annoyed that she cannot cover it with just a sense of security.

“…Ah, f*ck, why are they talking about other people’s idol skills and all that sh*t.”

Idol fandom is the process of eating resentment.

Originally, in the entertainment industry, there are often cases where people are criticized for no reason when they are popular. Of course, there are cases where they are criticized because they deserve it, but seeing them nitpicking about his composing skills this time makes me want to grab my neck and collapse.

If they criticized him for something else, I could lightly dismiss it as ‘Ah, yeah, it’s always like this,’ but it’s not easy to endure because they’re picking on one of Ji Donghwa’s points of interest! A human whose working appearance is beautiful!

“Hey.”

“Oh, you’re here.”

They had made plans to have dinner, but it overlapped with Blossem’s radio appearance. However, her friend, being a fellow fan, showed off her generous side, saying let’s listen together and eat.

“Did it start?”

“Nope.”

“…Maybe because of the community?”

“Yep.”

Her friend laughed. She sympathized, but she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Anyway, it’s hard to get criticized for composing skills, right?”

“Yeah, that’s true, but it’s annoying.”

‘Right,’ her friend nodded and sat next to her. Even if you understand it with your head, you can’t help but feel bad.

They waited for the radio time while sharing various small talk—although most of it was about recent topics in the idol scene.

“Oh, it’s starting.”

“Our kids have been here too.”

“It feels like a gateway that you have to go through once you start gaining some popularity, right?”

“Right. Blossem came here at the beginning of their debut.”

“No matter how I think about it, it was thanks to the survival show.”

“Ooh, cold.”

“Well, if you try to float all of these things, you’ll go crazy.”

When I look at the community posts, I want to refute each and every one of them, so I go crazy.

“…Thinking about it, I want to kill the PD [production director].”

“Ah, I know that too. I heard that the chaos at the end of the survival show was because the PD did something stupid?”

“Haa…, I’m purifying myself. With this.”

They slowly listened to the radio. From trivial everyday stories to light episodes in the dorm or behind-the-scenes stories during work.

Then, the core of today’s radio began.

―Come to think of it, I heard that Hyeonjae-ssi is planning to sing his solo song here for the first time today.

―Ah, that’s right. Here, Donghwa *hyung* wrote the song, and I wrote the lyrics.

―Do you have any behind-the-scenes stories? I heard that Donghwa-ssi also produced it this time. It’s completely a cottage industry, so there must be several episodes.

―I was imprisoned…

The friend who was listening to the visible radio with a questioning look on her face looked at her, as if asking for an answer. But she just smiled knowingly, as if she knew.

―Imprisoned? It would be a bit of a hot topic if you were arrested as a criminal.

Ji Donghwa, who was listening quietly, added a word.

―I’ll have to find a lawyer first.

―That’s right. We’ll ask for the manuscript and testimony.

―It was a few weeks ago. He wouldn’t let me out of the studio until I finished writing all the lyrics. When I said I wanted to go to the bathroom, he followed me and guarded the door.

―Donghwa-ssi, no, defendant, why did you do that? A defense.

―That’s because Ideun *hyung* tried to escape several times, so it was for prevention…….

―Oh dear, the defendant only revealed additional crimes while defending himself.

The friend who had resolved her doubts was convinced.

“They’re not normal.”

Definitely.

“…That’s the charm.”

She was a little ashamed, but soon came to her senses.

―Then we can’t not listen to what kind of song it is.

―This is a song where I say hello to the people I’ve been indebted to so far. Like a thank you or a farewell.

She quickly caught Ji Donghwa’s expression becoming strange. *What is it?* It doesn’t seem like Hyeonjae said anything weird.

“A bit of a graduation ceremony style?”

“Seems like it.”

While answering her friend’s words, she soon erased her doubts. Now the song that Ji Donghwa made himself is coming out.

―Oh oh, can I ask who it is for a moment?

―I definitely wanted to say thank you to our members.

She muttered for a moment.

“…Then who is the farewell to?”

“He’s graduating from high school. Isn’t it to his friends?”

“That’s reasonable.”

But, our youngest is sometimes rough.

Lee Hyeonjae counted the things he was grateful for to the members one by one for a while, then suddenly realized that he had been talking for too long and smiled awkwardly.

―Yes, then I’m also listening for the first time. Let’s listen, ‘Under the Snow.’

In the video, Lee Hyeonjae took a sip of water and held the microphone tightly. Ji Donghwa was still looking at Lee Hyeonjae with a strange expression, and the other members were silently cheering for Lee Hyeonjae with eyes full of anticipation.

A delicate and sensitive melody, the sound of the piano captivated the ears. Her friend made a sound of admiration, ‘Oh,’ and then focused on the video again.

Each note smoothly depicted the process of a plum blossom piercing through the shell, the ground, the snow, and everything else, slowly blooming.

And Lee Hyeonjae closed his eyes tightly and listened to the sound, carefully singing each syllable with a slightly sharp expression. He pressed the emotions of a person who was firming his will and walking forward into his clear and clear tone.

One step, panting breath, piercing the shell I built alone

Two steps, brightening you, the cold air fills me

Three steps, when I meet you, I will definitely ask like this