Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 216

[Rumors of Lee Hyunjae and Ji Donghwa at Korea University]

Not that I’m bragging, but I’m a student at Korea University.

I was sipping an Americano at the cafe below the main hall after pulling an all-nighter when I spotted two people wearing masks.

They looked familiar, and I wondered if I knew them. Then it hit me—Lee Hyunjae and Ji Donghwa! I ditched my Americano and ran over. I didn’t want to bother them; I was just curious…

They browsed the literature and philosophy sections, then checked out books together. I swear, for a moment, I thought I was stanning [supporting] the student body president. It was wild.

Comments:

―We’re probably the only ones who get study motivation from idol *deokjil* [obsessive fandom].

―Pure positive influence.

└TRUUEEEㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Our professor even gives us mental health lessons… So wholesome…

└Ah… I want to desperately crush on a professor who’s mentally stable in any situation, confess, and then get rejected…

└We’d grow from that heartbreak…

└I want that person to be an unforgettable, painful memory for the rest of my life.

└That’s… *샤르데나*-style love, isn’t it? [A reference to a fictional character or meme implying a dramatic or intense situation.]

└*샤르데나*-style is everywhere ㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

―Imagining Lee Hyunjae trailing after Donghwa *hyung* [older brother/male friend], looking at books, is making it hard to breathe. Is this normal, doc?

└??? : You have a severe fox addiction.

└And he’s cynical to the other members… But he’s warm to Ji Donghwa…

―Lee Hyunjae needs to be kidnapped ASAP. At this point, I’m losing sight of the consequences…

└Beep beep, express train to Cheongju Prison confirmed.

*Blossom Sense* has been showing up everywhere lately. With more people tuning in to individual content like Chae Hamin’s or Ji Donghwa’s, they’re becoming a new source of energy in the *deokjil* [fandom] scene.

For example, the bizarre meme of the mental health lesson has been mass-produced and exported. The *짤* [image/GIF] of Ji Donghwa elegantly holding a teacup with a subtle smile, captioned ‘Highly likely not in their right mind,’ has become so popular that even non-fans use it in their messages.

[Ji Donghwa Summarizes the Perilla Leaf Debate]

(A GIF of Ji Donghwa and a male actor’s faces alternating, with the caption ‘A human who doesn’t do their best at the dinner table’ during the perilla leaf debate.)

??? : Don’t become someone who can’t even eat alone. It’ll be a pain.

Comments:

―While other idols give us butterflies with ‘How dare you!’, our idol starts a table manners education.

└When you put it that way, my *ae* [affection/love] seems a little too weird.

└That’s… *샤르데나*-style, isn’t it?

―I felt faint when he naturally transitioned from the perilla leaf debate to life advice…

And today, the mental health lesson episode featuring Ji Donghwa and his younger sibling, Mok-hwa, was finally uploaded, and *짤s* [images/GIFs] started being mass-produced in real-time.

The conversation between Mok-hwa and Ji Donghwa—a disguised battle of wits, a game of Go with words—was just funny, but the subsequent zombie situation caused a flurry of screenshots due to its visual impact.

[A Cup of Tea.]

(A screenshot of Ji Donghwa leisurely drinking tea beyond the zombie actors, with the caption ‘*샤르데나*-style leisure.’)

(Ji Donghwa spouting nonsense about the With Zombie Virus, Mok-hwa agrees and sits down to drink tea with him. Followed by a peaceful and sparkling caption: ‘An ordinary afternoon moment.’)

Zombies and leisure.

Comments:

―I’m speechless ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

―I was convinced while watching. He was so calm that I accepted it, thinking, ‘Ah, the government has decided to live with them.’

―This show is surprisingly good for guests… It felt like a real interview…

―I was thrilled by the sight of the siblings fighting.

└Huh?

And when the PD [Production Director] revealed that his heart rate had already exceeded the limit with time running out, people burst out laughing.

―Ah, damn, it’s so funny but also sad.

―Ji Donghwa finally losing to the PD… How precious…

└It was inevitable when Mok-hwa showed up…

―A professor whose whole life revolves around his fans and his sibling.

└Our professor, whose house probably consists only of black and white… This is delicious..

└Why is he becoming more and more insane ㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋ

―Finally, the punishment!!! Show us, PD! Your secret notebook! What kind of humiliation will you inflict!

And then the punishment. As always, the screen transitions with passionate classical BGM [background music], and Ji Donghwa and Mok-hwa appear on screen with realistic makeup, showing slight wrinkles and gray hair.

‘Is this the same thing?’

‘Yes, just adapt to the situation as before.’

After a brief explanation, the two open the door to the community center and enter. Beyond it, a very bizarre sight unfolds. Half of the hall is decorated like a wedding venue, and the other half like a funeral home.

‘Ugh, what is it this time?’

‘Hyung, concept.’

‘Mok-hwa, if we just had a brick, we could… PD…’

Ji Donghwa naturally reveals his murder plan, and the caption ‘He makes you wonder what he’ll say next, thrilling’ subtly appears below. Mok-hwa smiles gently and listens, when an old woman approaches them.

‘Long time no see, youngsters.’

‘It has been a while. It is a bittersweet day with both a wedding and a funeral.’

Ji Donghwa immediately smiles. ‘Adaptability’ caption. Improvisation trained by Ji Donghwa’s mental health lessons.

‘Yes, my husband…, well, it was a good death, I guess.’

The old woman subtly held out her hand.

‘Come in, I have to walk down the aisle now.’

Ji Donghwa’s expression crumbles for a moment, and he tilts his head as if he can’t understand what she’s saying at all.

‘Are you getting married today?’

‘Yes.’

Ji Donghwa and Mok-hwa both open their mouths wide, filled with shock. The brothers, dropped into a moment where the husband’s death anniversary becomes the wedding anniversary, look at each other and try to process the shock.

But the broken balance of this moment where tragedy and comedy intersect was not easy to escape.

‘Ah, there’s *육개장* [spicy beef soup] and *보쌈* [boiled pork belly] prepared by the funeral home, and the wedding planner? They’ve set up a buffet. Go and have a taste. Both are delicious.’

‘Congratulations…?’

Mok-hwa mumbled blankly, seemingly dazed by the thrill of experiencing a major event like a funeral and a wedding at the same time.

―ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅌㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋ This is so inhumane ㅌㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

―Age seventy…. The experience that comes from that…. Focusing on the present because there are few days left… Amazing.

―I’m *설레-ing* [feeling excited/fluttery] at her floral dress…

From the series of bizarre scenes to Ji Donghwa’s expression, which seemed like his mentality had completely collapsed for the first time. A new page is decorated in the history of ‘Ji Donghwa’s Mental Health Class,’ and this moment spread across the internet.

* * *

In the studio at dawn. Ryu Ideun, who decided to stay up all night with me in the studio because he was worried about my health, was eating *육개장* [spicy beef soup] with a tablet while looking at my bewildered face.

That day, though short, was full of intense memories. The sight of the grandmother throwing the bouquet and then taking her place as the chief mourner was truly a shock beyond words. There is a high probability that the PD [Production Director] is not in his right mind.

‘How was it?’

The all-night work is roughly finished, but it’s 6 a.m. It’s awkward to sleep, and we have schedules to go to soon, so we’re just killing time.

‘What do you mean?’

‘You saw everything in life in advance.’

‘…I don’t know.’

I’m dying to know what’s going on in that PD’s head and how the production team prepared all that in three hours.

Honestly, I wonder if the lottery machine was just for show and everything was actually prepared in advance. I think that guy might have already calculated that my heart rate would go up when he cast Mok-hwa. I need to ask him later to feel satisfied.

‘I don’t know why this is becoming such a hot topic.’

I read the article on my phone screen and realized that the future of Korea is bleak. Why do people like this?

‘Honestly, it’s a shocking concept, right? For you too.’

Shut up, Ideun. I’m perfectly normal. So normal that I’m planning to disappear if this program gets extended.

‘Anyway, you have a knack for succeeding strangely through hard work. If you just put in a little less effort, you wouldn’t have any shame.’

‘Why are you so logical today, Ideun?’

I know it’s a process of being swallowed up by a disaster I brought on myself. But doing my best in a given situation is a habit I’ve had since I was a kid.

‘Come to think of it, do you know that the percentage of fans calling you professor is overwhelming?’

‘That’s a problem.’

‘That’s the image that will follow you for the rest of your life.’

‘Oh dear.’

Ryu Ideun kept teasing me with a grin, looking at my still expressionless face.

‘A strange professor image who is fluent in nonsense and gibberish and doesn’t falter in any situation.’

I grabbed a brick-shaped cushion.

‘An extreme philanthropist who even loves zombie viruses, cough.’

I immediately struck him. I can’t hit him with a real brick, so I had a special cushion made.

Plato’s saying that if imitation replaces reality, it deviates from the truth is wrong. This alone is enough to be enjoyable and happy. Even if it’s not a real brick, I’m happy.

‘Wait, Donghwa! Sorry! It doesn’t hurt, but it feels weird! I feel sincerity! I sense murderous intent!’

I put down my moving hand and sighed.

‘…Hyung.’

‘Uh, uh? Yeah?’

‘Don’t ever come out as a guest.’

Ryu Ideun is the only one who makes me violent, so it’s obvious that my heart rate will go wild.

I don’t know how I, who always persuaded Mok-hwa that violence is wrong, have fallen to this point. He doesn’t say anything different from other people, but why do I want to hit Ryu Ideun every time I see him? It’s a topic I could research for over a hundred years and still not understand.

Ding—!

[It’s because you’re close.]

Shut up, I don’t want to admit it.

[Here are a few psychology papers I recommend.]

Shh, I know.

‘Still, look at it positively. The momentum is good right now, right?’

Ryu Ideun brushed his hair and grinned again. I didn’t put the cushion down, not knowing what he was going to say.

‘Look, our group’s song is a huge hit, right?’

I know.

‘Even non-fans are listening to your lessons.’

Stop barking like you’re a real professor.

‘And now, if you come out with a kind judge image, our stock price will definitely rise, right? Then we’ll have more places to go. *Blossom Sense’s* driving force to become the top in Korea is Donghwa, you, I’m *설레-ing* [feeling excited].’

That guy is getting better at handling me, which is even more annoying. He’s not promoting me as an individual, but ‘our’ success.

If Chae Hamin says things like that unconsciously, Ryu Ideun is definitely doing it on purpose. The fact that more and more of me is being read by others is still unfamiliar, leaving me speechless.

I picked up my cross-stitch again to regain my inner peace.

‘…A kind judge is out of the question.’

‘Huh? Didn’t the PD [Production Director] say he would edit it that way?’

I put down the cross-stitch and recalled my memories. I couldn’t remember ever being seen as a ‘kind’ person. Wouldn’t I have been seen as a ‘heartless’ person instead?

‘It’s all because of that damn craftsmanship, I think.’

I came to a conclusion. At first, I was angry because I thought it was unethical and needed to be stopped, but then I realized that the harsh criticism that followed was due to the ‘craftsmanship’ that Team Leader Jang Haejin had mentioned.

‘…Ooh, I don’t know what you mean, but does that mean you failed?’

‘Yeah.’

I organized the needles and nodded.

‘Completely.’

I wonder if the attention people have built up through Ji Donghwa’s mental health lessons will boomerang back due to the production controversy. Ryu Ideun quietly organized his thoughts with a blank look at my words. He seemed to be choosing his words one by one.

‘Well, whatever.’

Optimistic. I knew it. Unlike me, Ryu Ideun thinks that coping is more important than prevention. We don’t match at all.

‘It’ll work out somehow.’

Ryu Ideun smiled as he looked at the dog-shaped embroidery I had stitched.

‘You would never do anything bad to us.’

So blindly trusting, damn it. I wonder if he’ll get scammed somewhere like that.