Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 242

It’s incredibly difficult for a group to keep a secret. It’s almost astonishing that a group with ties to the public, regardless of its size, can maintain secrecy at all.

Ryui-Deun leaned back on the sofa in the studio, looking exhausted. He’d probably been in constant talks with the company amidst the album recording.

“The company said they managed to contain the article. It’s better to have it break later anyway.”

Seok-Joon flinched and lowered his head.

Ryui-Deun abruptly sat up and waved his hands. “Jun-ah, shoulders back! People make mistakes!”

He encouraged Seok-Joon, cheering him on from the sidelines.

Right. A spoiler is a pretty minor mistake.

An entertainment industry privacy scandal had broken out yesterday, so compared to that, Seok-Joon’s slip-up was tame.

Considering that the controversy he creates by speaking without thinking is just spoilers, it’s clear he’s a good kid.

“But you shouldn’t make mistakes like that again. It hurts me when you get scolded by the company.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Ryui-Deun seemed to have been scolded as much as Seok-Joon, which was perhaps inevitable since he’s the leader.

“Well, this much is worth a scolding. I guess it’s okay if you do it again next time?” He laughed it off playfully, showcasing his excellent leadership and supportive nature.

“I’ll head out now. Finish your work and come early.”

Even being called in for a debrief after the schedule is over is tiring, and although he tries to hide his exhaustion, it inevitably shows.

Ryui-Deun leaves, and the studio falls silent.

Seok-Joon was gaping, looking lost. “…Why am I so stupid?”

“You’re not that stupid,” I said. “If you were really stupid, you wouldn’t have been able to interpret Sleeping Beauty that way. Who else would interpret that story as the princess’s self-destructive choice?”

Most people would just see it as an unscientific and bizarre story.

However, he’s just a little… very little… lacking in some areas.

“Most people make this kind of mistake.”

“…Hyung-nim, you’ve never done it, have you?”

Come to think of it, everyone except Ryui-Deun and me has had minor spoiler experiences.

Seok-Joon caused two major incidents, but Chae Ha-Min once mistook the broadcast date, and Lee Hyun-Jae once hummed a new song on a W App [a social media app] live stream while coming back from recording.

“That’s… because I can’t possibly mistake the schedule?”

And Ryui-Deun knows the approximate schedules and broadcast dates of all the members. He really is an outstanding leader.

“Wow… amazing….”

Certainly.

“Ryui-Deun is an amazing person.”

I started fiddling with the computer again to finish the monthly Ji Dong-Hwa project.

Seok-Joon, who was next to me, pulled his chair back up. “I want to be half as good as you two hyung-nims [older brothers/male mentors].”

“You don’t have to be, as long as you don’t spoil anything.”

You’re the only one who doesn’t know how wonderful your personality is. It’s okay if you just be yourself and change naturally.

“So, how is it? Do you like the song?”

“Yes! It’s the best.”

I was worried, but I’m glad.

“Now, hyung-nim just needs to do the chorus.”

“…That much is nothing.”

I feel like the essence of the content has been deviating since Chae Ha-Min’s part, but I’ve already set a precedent once, so it probably doesn’t matter.

* * *

Before long, it’s summer.

The campus, filled with the scent of lush trees, is bustling with assignments. It’s a season where you become disoriented thanks to the assignments that bloom after the midterms.

A time when you feel like you’ll collapse soon without the help of energy drinks and coffee – without maintaining a constant level of caffeine in your blood.

Here, there is a woman who is writing her graduation thesis along with her assignments, ahead of her final semester.

“…Ah, I want to die.”

Her friends didn’t react, as if they were tired of hearing the same thing over and over.

It’s rather unusual for a college student not to complain of depression around this time.

“Comeback… please.”

“There aren’t even any articles about it, what.”

Even though it’s a secret between us, they said they’re doing it soon. Dong-Hwa even said he has a song he’s working on with his younger sibling. What do you know!

She’s only thinking about graduating quickly and going to work in the field. She’s trying to burn her last flame before getting a job.

“What if you make a comeback before you graduate, and then make another comeback after you get a job?”

“…Are you cursing me right now?”

There are things you can and can’t say as a human being, what are you talking about.

Ah, should I take a break? It hasn’t even been ten minutes since she turned on her laptop, but her hand naturally reached for her phone and opened SNS [social networking service].

“Huh.”

“Why? Are they making a comeback?”

“No, damn it, what, are they releasing a song so suddenly?”

“…Is it really a comeback?”

“No, it’s Monthly Ji Dong-Hwa….”

She trailed off.

There’s usually no point in giving a detailed explanation to ordinary people. They won’t understand anyway.

Titled ‘Sleep,’ it’s very short. It’s not a music video, but a lyric video that edits various colors and sculptures into the lyrics.

Making-of films were released for both the duet with Chae Ha-Min and Lee Hyun-Jae’s solo song, but this time it’s unusual.

She ignored everyone’s words and plugged earphones into her ears.

Peaceful sound. It felt like sleep would come just by listening to it.

She almost closed her eyes and lost consciousness momentarily because her blood caffeine level was currently low.

Sleep

Seok-Joon read only one short letter, and then noise appeared on the video, and mechanical sounds were mixed in between the songs.

It was like a robot appeared in a peaceful forest, but it blended in mysteriously as if moss had grown on the robot.

I’m falling asleep for spindle

저녁 무렵 어스름 없이도

Without twilight around evening

I’m falling asleep for spindle

그저 오래 자고 싶은걸, 한 백 년

I just want to sleep for a long time, about a hundred years

‘What is it? Is it my diary?’

Ji Dong-Hwa humming the chorus with an attractive tone. But the lyrics are unusual.

“…Hey, what is a spindle?”

A friend in the English department next to her yawned and replied. “Axis.”

“Huh?”

“That thing. If there’s something like a gear, it’s the thing that’s stuck in the middle of it.”

“…What.”

She paused the song for a moment and showed the lyrics to her friend.

“What does this mean?”

Her friend pondered for a moment at the suddenly thrown interpretation problem.

“Ah, that must be it. Sleeping Beauty. The original word for the spinning wheel needle is that. Sleeping because of the spinning wheel needle—, that’s what it means.”

What kind of concept is this, really.

She lightly expressed her gratitude and played the song again. Ji Dong-Hwa’s chorus ended on a bizarre tune, and Seok-Joon began to rap in a low-pitched voice.

그저 자고 싶어, 한 백 년 정도

I just want to sleep, for about a hundred years

눈 뜨고 나면 다 잊어질 정(情)도

Enough to forget everything when I open my eyes

하라는 건 많아, 한 백 개 정도

There are many things to do, about a hundred

내겐 너무 버거운 그 정도(定道)

That’s too much for me

What is it. What is it? It’s very rebellious.

But why is the song strangely sad? Why is Seok-Joon’s voice so sweet?

이것뿐인 것 같아, 내가 고를 수 있는 건

This seems to be the only thing I can choose

펼쳐진 현실이 두려워, 할 수 있는 건

I’m afraid of the reality that unfolds, all I can do is

도피래도 좋아, 나는. 점점 더 깊어져 가는

I don’t mind escaping. Getting deeper and deeper

코앞에 다가온 물레 바늘, 이제 콕 찔리면

The spinning wheel needle is right in front of me, now if I get pricked

Seok-Joon spitting out syllables at a slightly faster pace, creating a heightened atmosphere.

At its peak, all the music stopped, just like I heard it for the first time in the intro.

잠

Sleep

Only one letter fell.

The sound of a ticking metronome and the mechanical sound effects in the background overlapped, creating a bizarre ensemble.

It felt like being invited to a fantasy world where a circus was unfolding in the middle of the night. She felt fascinated by the sound flowing from her earphones.

When the melody that flowed without lyrics ended, Ji Dong-Hwa’s chorus came back on.

It was a dreamy voice, as if it were true that he wanted to sleep for about a hundred years.

She naturally raised the corners of her lips and smiled, then suddenly came to her senses and quietly muttered.

“…No, it’s good, but what is this about.”

Is it a hymn to sleep? Why does it feel strangely like a monologue before going to sleep the night before an exam?

Seok-Joon often expresses four-dimensional [unconventional/unique] ideas, so maybe it’s really an intention to praise sleep.

In fact, he’s the second most sleepy person in Blossoms after Chae Ha-Min.

“…Should I quit and sleep too?”

“Do you want to have your graduation canceled?”

“I guess not.”

But listening to it makes me want to sleep.

Even the sound of the ticking clock seemed to induce sleep, so it couldn’t be helped.

* * *

In fact, when I first saw the lyrics Seok-Joon had written, I was surprised that he was using all the verses to convey a simple message of ‘sleeping to avoid reality.’

But soon after, after remembering whose voice it was, I could understand that he was so desperate to escape reality.

“But, I didn’t know it would turn out like this.”

As Seok-Joon said, there is no official explanation because the making-of film has not been released yet, but I never imagined that it would become a hot topic as a ‘hymn to sleep.’

Thanks to the fact that it was released during the exam period, students were appealing to their desire to sleep and posting it on their profiles.

Luminous [overworked] office workers were also posting it on their profiles, emphasizing the need for sleep.

Moreover, even Chae Ha-Min is sleeping to the sound of ‘Sleep,’ which is playing as background music now as he goes to the dorm, so I have nothing to say.

It’s not even quiet classical music, how can this be?

“I guess a lot of people want to sleep.”

“Hyung, my private life has been exposed here.”

As Lee Hyun-Jae joked just now, it was even quoted as background music for a photo of me encouraging trainees at the Idol Production Workshop, saying that they could sleep later, and was consumed as a humorous post titled ‘The reality of a professor who is different in front and behind.’

“Whatever it is, the buzz is good.”

Ryui-Deun gave a thumbs up.

“…Okay.”

It’s better than being buried in indifference, but I have a small desire for at least the fans to know the original intention.

“But, Dong-Hwa hyung.”

Ryui-Deun, who was sitting in the front seat, leaned out to the side and made eye contact.

“Then is Monthly Ji Dong-Hwa over?”

Well, come to think of it, it’s already gone around once.

“…I guess so.”

It’s a project that started during the survival show, where I would write a solo song for every member. It’s already over, so it’s a new feeling.

But Lee Hyun-Jae, who was listening, shook his head firmly. “No, hyung. There’s still a member who hasn’t done it.”

“Who?”

Ryui-Deun, Lee Hyun-Jae, Chae Ha-Min, and Seok-Joon have all released their solo songs and plan to put them all on this album.

“Hyung.”

“…Me?”

“You haven’t written a solo song for hyung yet.”

“Oh, that’s right. Our maknae [youngest member] is so smart.”

Ryui-Deun ruffled Lee Hyun-Jae’s hair, and Lee Hyun-Jae expressed his strong aversion.

And in between, I was lost in thought without saying a word.

A solo song that I write for myself, it’s very shocking. I have to write it for all the members, and I’m also a member, so it makes sense.

But.

“…What should I write.”

When I think about writing it for myself, I feel like my head is going blank.