Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 263

Haa, I’m having trouble breathing. I heard we’re changing clothes and filming again after this.

We gathered to monitor the footage, and seeing my own face is a bit grotesque.

The concept is what it is, so I practiced smiling while listening to Chae Hamin’s advice. I feel satisfied, yet I want to destroy it. It’s my own psychology, but I don’t know why it’s so difficult.

“Wow… Eden hyung’s dancing has a lot of power.”

As Chae Hamin said, the guy dancing solo in the middle of the screen has power, but he also has a chronic condition of not being able to empathize with those around him when they’re struggling.

It’s obvious now that he stepped on Lee Hyunjae’s instep while playing around.

“This concept—, it’s strange—.”

“I know, right?”

I couldn’t help but nod emphatically at Seokjun’s words.

A guy who envies and steals everything from his friend. And that person has saved him several times.

When I first heard the title of this song, ‘All mine,’ I thought, ‘Ah, another story about a clingy idiot.’

Statistically, songs that say things like ‘It’s all mine!’ are usually about obsessing over the other person and burning with jealousy if they look at someone else.

I didn’t really like the lyrics that talked nonsense about being able to possess a person.

But surprisingly, the behind-the-scenes story I heard at the production meeting was even more absurd.

Best friends A and B.

After B was adopted into A’s house, they grew up like brothers in the same house since they were young, but A excelled in most fields.

A was on a winning streak, while B was stepping onto a path to hell. Listening to the words of comfort from successful people, B learned habitual jealousy and the illusion of unfairness.

Was it because he was adopted, received less affection, less education, and less support that he failed?

Was his twisted personality and lack of confidence in everything created because of that guy?

The illusion he once had became a comfortable escape that hid the cruel truth that A’s parents tried their best to love B as well, but he was the one who refused, and his failure was entirely his own responsibility.

Burning jealousy and severe emotional deprivation, he eventually dreams of a dirty and filthy plan to bring A down.

…That’s the story.

This song depicts B’s inner thoughts as he laughs in front of A, who is wailing after the plan succeeds.

‘…This concept is insane.’

Countless questions filled my head, starting with how such an anti-humanitarian concept even passed.

According to the writer of this album’s story, it’s not even a picaresque genre [a genre of fiction that depicts the adventures of a roguish hero].

Moreover, the entire album, from track 1 to the end, is filled with lyrics written from the perspectives of A and B.

Track 2 contains messages of comfort and encouragement to the other person, and flowing through, the last song, track 7, contains anger at lies and sadness from betrayal.

The title track, ‘All mine,’ is track 6, and track 5 is a hopeful song about achieving goals by any means.

And the most surprising thing is.

“Ah, this song is really good…….”

That the guy who first suggested all of this is our Lee Hyunjae, who stepped on Ryu Eden’s instep and is now looking at the screen with an innocent face.

Lee Hyunjae is the one who participated in writing the lyrics for all the songs in this album’s production process, and he wrote the outline of the story and suggested to the company, ‘How about this concept?’

I still vividly remember Lee Hyunjae’s face, smiling shyly at the production meeting.

It was such an innocent face, just like the one he’s showing on the screen now.

I quietly asked Lee Hyunjae after the production meeting ended.

‘…Hyunjae.’

‘Yes?’

‘Come to think of it, how did you end up writing this?’

I didn’t bother saying, I never taught you this kind of thing.

‘Originally, tragedy happens when a person who is respected by others falls from grace.’

Aristotle ruined him halfway.

‘And an evil person succeeding is a modern tragedy. I like tragedies.’

The other half was ruined by modern society.

After that, I listened to Lee Hyunjae’s explanation, which was full of terms like suppressed totality, pathos [a quality that evokes pity or sadness], and situational irony, and I quietly thought.

‘Crazy fox.’

He must have felt my gaze because he turned his head and tilted it.

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to that face, so I just laughed once.

But the crazy fox seemed to have forgotten.

“Ah, I didn’t tell you then, but this B also has a model. Although it’s been adapted.”

Well, I really don’t want to be friends with someone like that. I forced my reluctant mouth open.

“…Who is it?”

“Um, there’s someone. A person who pretends to be virtuous but secretly looks down on others. A professor who, I heard, makes it a hobby to steal his graduate students’ talents and take their papers.”

Then A must be that graduate student.

I felt like I knew who B was, so I decided not to ask any further. I just gave a short review.

“Now, you can even write it as a story.”

Lee Hyunjae looked at me, noticing right away, with eyes that said, ‘Exactly!’ and then smiled brightly.

“Right?”

Being able to write it as a story is proof that everything is over.

* * *

It was time to leave work, and I desperately needed rest because my body was aching, but it didn’t seem like I could, so I quietly fell into thought.

What is the role of parents?

Financial support doesn’t seem to be the answer. If it were, I would have to resent my parents, but I don’t.

I’m not a parent yet, so I don’t know exactly, but theoretically, they should provide an emotional foundation.

I can now see what happens to the relationship between parents and children if they fail at that, and what happens if it leads to extreme situations.

“…Leaving just a message and leaving, is that something you do to your parents?”

“Huh? I even added a lot of annotations.”

Lee Hyunjae was looking at the man in front of him with indifferent eyes.

All he had was annoyance; there wasn’t even a trace of embarrassment or regret.

“…We fed you and raised you, and this is what you do, you piece of trash.”

“I guess I can’t be a well-fed pig. And didn’t I say I’d pay you back for raising me?”

When I headed to the waiting room to leave work, the new manager said, ‘Your family came to support you!’ so everyone tilted their heads in confusion.

“I heard you got into Korea University, so I thought that stupid head of yours might have woken up a bit. Money isn’t everything, you moron.”

“Giving as much as you receive is basic, so money is everything. Have I ever received anything else?”

Mokwha said she had a schedule today, so it wasn’t me, and the other members except for Lee Hyunjae said they hadn’t received any contact.

‘Haha!’ Instantly, Lee Hyunjae laughed as if he understood and ran to the waiting room, opening the door wide.

Worried, I quickly followed him inside, and this is the situation now.

Lee Hyunjae was having an indifferent conversation with Lee Hyunjae’s father, who was full of anger.

We quietly exchanged glances and went outside.

However, it seemed like their emotions were intense, so we left the door slightly open in case of an emergency so that sound could leak out.

“…What’s going on?”

“Lee Hyunjae’s father came to visit.”

“I know that, Donghwa!”

Chae Hamin grabbed Ryu Eden’s arm and jumped up and down, making a fuss about what to do. That guy still doesn’t know how Lee Hyunjae has changed.

“He’ll figure it out.”

Of course, I’m concerned that Lee Hyunjae’s choice of words isn’t as refined as when he talks to us.

It’s like he’s determined to annoy the other person with every word.

“Yeah, he will.”

Ryu Eden, who knows Lee Hyunjae’s changes in detail, also agreed.

As Ryu Eden and I nodded and stretched out leisurely, Chae Hamin ran to Seokjun in shock.

“Jun! These guys are crazy!”

“If—, by any chance, he hits him!”

Jumping up and down, making a fuss, you guys.

“Being branded as an unfilial son doesn’t seem like it’ll make for good articles. Your mom is so sad without you.”

“Oh, she’s getting old these days, so her words are wrong. It’s not that I’m the problem, but she’s embarrassed because she doesn’t have any accessories to take to the faculty family gatherings. I may be a failure, but I still have to have the basics.”

Oh, my god, Hyunjae.

I quietly covered my mouth.

“You just want a normal family, right? It’s understandable that you’re coming now after not contacting me for a while because the annual meeting is coming up soon.”

Not only Chae Hamin and Seokjun, but also Ryu Eden and I couldn’t close our mouths.

“Don’t even mention the noble word of filial piety [respect and devotion for one’s parents], you who chose to get married and have children because you were afraid of deviating from the norm. It doesn’t suit you.”

“…You, how did you know that.”

Lee Hyunjae’s father stopped talking, as if he had made a mistake. It seems like he was about to say something like, ‘How did you know?’ but stopped himself.

Right, how did he know? Amazing, my student.

“The only thing you gave me was a look of contempt, and you allowed me to become an idol because you thought I’d be okay as an accessory as long as I wasn’t stupid and didn’t lower your status. When you allowed me to become a trainee, it was like, ‘It’s already a failed crop, so let it be.’ Seeing how your standards fluctuate, I guess the main reason is that you couldn’t have a second child, right?”

This time, Chae Hamin was shocked and hugged one of Seokjun’s arms tightly.

Ryu Eden looked at me and nodded quietly.

His expression said, ‘I think you’re good enough to make him not stupid.’

“But after cutting ties, I’m not surprised to hear what you’re saying. All you’re bringing up is filial piety? I was even worried about how to refute you if you asked me to pretend to be family in exchange for money. You’re more stupid than I thought.”

Judging by the rough breathing of the other person that I can hear from here, he’s definitely angry.

Ryu Eden put his hand on the doorknob and prepared to rush in if the atmosphere got any rougher.

“Since we’re talking, should I tell you a little more?”

Lee Hyunjae’s voice was slightly mixed with laughter.

“I was smarter than you expected. My mother tried to have an abortion when she was pregnant with me. And you denigrated me as a stupid guy because of the inferiority you felt when you saw a student who was smarter than you. I don’t know how unhappy I was when I first realized that.”

At the terrible words, Seokjun took a few steps back, covered his ears, and sat down on the spot.

“Oh, right! I know more. Whose idea your paper actually was, and that my mother even forged her resume. What should I do! It doesn’t seem like good articles will come out for either of you.”

After that, there was no sound from inside the room.

The manager came over and tilted his head, but no one could easily break the silence and start explaining.

“So, don’t even think about being branded as an unfilial son or anything like that. Even if it’s a fight between dogs, the difference in size is too great.”

The manager seemed to have noticed on his own and covered his head. He must feel guilty because he was the one who allowed the entry.

“Um, so please get out now. I’m busy.”

Thud, thud, the sound of footsteps was gradually getting faster and approaching the door.

We quickly tried to hide and sat on the chairs in the hallway, pretending not to know.

The door burst open, and we saw the back of a person running out, and all the members ran to the waiting room.

Lee Hyunjae, who had a voice mixed with laughter, was just shedding tears endlessly with an indifferent expression.