Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 266

The wrap-up party after the ‘Problem Solver Office’ filming was in full swing.

The story from today’s shoot was rather grim: a woman’s sudden request to steal something led to us almost becoming test subjects for biological experiments.

“Doesn’t this program encourage distrust in humanity?”

“…More than that, aren’t we a little crazy for agreeing to the theft in the first place, maknae [youngest member]?”

“If I remember correctly, you were all for it as soon as you heard the amount, sunbae [senior colleague],” I retorted.

“This is why I try to avoid talking to people with good memories,” he grumbled.

I smiled, accepting the drink Hanho sunbae poured for me.

The ‘Problem Solver Office,’ this strange program, had become quite popular, hence this wrap-up party – a celebration of sorts.

As a cast member, I was naturally pleased with the program’s success.

For an idol like me, it was even better, offering an opportunity for people who wouldn’t normally pay attention to idols to become interested.

It would be even better if they got hooked on the other members because of me.

“Our maknae made a comeback this time, everyone!” Gyeongu sunbae suddenly announced, standing up and shouting. The production staff cheered as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“…Are you drunk?” I asked.

“He’s completely lost it,” Hanho sunbae replied dryly, placing a piece of meat on my plate.

“Lately, he’s been telling everyone he meets to listen to maknae’s song…”

“Didn’t hyung [older brother/male friend] do the same?” Kanghee sunbae revealed, exposing Hanho sunbae’s secret.

“You’re going to cause an accident someday with your lack of tact and loose lips,” Hanho sunbae warned.

Gyeongu sunbae shouted again, unfazed by the minor squabble. “We have to work hard to promote maknae so he can be a big hit!”

It was nice, really nice, but why did I feel so uncomfortable?

I cautiously turned my head.

“I promote it every day too,” Junseong hyung said, meeting my gaze.

“These days, many fans tell me they’ve fallen for your stage videos because of me,” he continued.

Then, he launched into a detailed explanation of which track from our album he listened to most often, why that song was so good, and how pleased he was with our current growth.

Trying to avoid that, I turned my head again, only to find another skilled speaker launching into a long speech about how good maknae’s song was, forcing me to turn away once more.

Damn it, wherever I looked, I arrived at the same conclusion.

“…Thank you,” I mumbled, lowering my gaze to my plate. Gyeongu sunbae plopped back into his seat and buried his face in his hands, as if ashamed.

“Ugh, I’m so embarrassed.”

“That’s why you shouldn’t do things you don’t usually do,” Hanho sunbae chided.

“I think it’s my time to die,” Gyeongu sunbae groaned. After eating a piece of meat, however, he regained his energy as if nothing had happened.

“Wow, by the way, that stage was awesome, maknae! I got goosebumps when you smiled!” Gyeongu sunbae imitated my choreography from the bridge and laughed.

“I think Ha Min needs to get his joints checked. How does he move his body like that?”

Endless praise continued.

Ryui Deun’s masculinity, Seokjun’s rap, and then back to my composition – everything became a topic, and only praise flowed.

Even so, there were occasional playful jabs at each other, eliciting laughter from time to time.

“Come to think of it, Gyeongu, didn’t your wife order you to abstain from alcohol?”

“I resolved it through conversation! I compromised at a reasonable level.”

“When you compromised, was the ‘협 (hyeop)’ in ‘타협 (tahyeop, compromise)’ the ‘뺨 협 (hyeop, cheek)?’ I woke up in the 새벽 (saebyeok, early morning) because I heard the sound of a man getting slapped.”

“My house is in Jamsil. Hyung is in Nowon-gu.”

The conversation naturally shifted to trivial talks among middle-aged men, and only then could I finally relax.

However, our great and amazing Junseong hyung, unwilling to let me enjoy my comfort, spoke up as if he had lingering thoughts.

“You planned the strategy well. Starting with the stage movements, you tried to stand out as much as possible.”

As he said, the choreographer and Chae Hamin must have suffered the most for this title track.

They tried to make it visually appealing from any angle, and captivating at every moment.

Of course, I only composed the song, so I didn’t know much about such difficult things, but I knew that they tried to clearly implement a story on the stage.

“Hamin worked hard.”

“Your song is great too.”

“…Is that so?”

“Anyway, watching it made me think a lot.”

Junseong hyung vaguely looked at the ceiling.

“My skills have doubled since the first survival show… I wonder what I was doing back then…”

“You were practicing.”

In fact, I knew it. That there were lots of others our age who were just starting to get noticed.

Unlike us, who received attention from the beginning thanks to our sunbaes’ [senior artists] halo, these people achieved everything one by one with their own abilities…

“That’s an exaggeration. Team Leader Haejin worked really hard.”

“The team leader only praised hyung.”

“…Oh, wait a minute.”

I dredged up all the anecdotes from my memory and interpreted them all in a direction favorable to Junseong.

Constantly, continuously, praises poured out.

Junseong’s face turned red, and he lowered his head as if ashamed.

“Stop it!”

“And back then, Junseong hyung was worried that Yaeon sunbae would collapse, so he set an alarm every hour every night to check on his condition…”

“Sorry! Sorry! It was my fault,” Junseong pleaded.

I stopped talking and chewed on a piece of meat.

“…There’s this problem when you get close,” Junseong muttered, as if he had just realized it.

Then, in a low voice, a small voice that no one could hear, but adjusting it appropriately so that I could clearly hear it, he whispered in my ear. “Anyway, congratulations. There’s talk about a concert. I built it up so much just to tell you this.”

“…Pardon?”

“Ah, this was supposed to be a secret.”

Junseong smiled mischievously, with an expression that showed he had no intention of keeping the secret.

“How did you know?”

Information is always valuable, and perhaps there was a faint desire in my eyes now.

“Ah, that’s a secret.”

What to do, this human looks a bit like Ryui Deun.

Especially in the way I want to hit him with a brick.

* * *

– Congratulations.

On the way home, I realized again after seeing the short text message.

I was amazed that I didn’t know the fact that Hwayang knew, how little political sense I have.

I immediately called Ryui Deun.

“Hyung.”

– Uh, why, dongsaeng [younger sibling/friend].

“Spill the secrets you haven’t told me.”

– Uh… sorry, I used your book as a pot stand when I ate ramen.

That’s a lie.

– I really didn’t know it was your book, I thought it was mine, that…

“Again.”

– Uh? No, that, I just uploaded a picture of you because you did it too!

This is also an excuse. I can tell just by his voice, but his efforts to hide it are pathetic.

“Is that all?”

– Haha, that’s something everyone should hear together.

As expected, there’s no way this bastard wouldn’t know.

Pretending to be flustered and acting like he doesn’t know anything, then smiling slyly when it seems like I definitely know…

– Where did you hear it from?

“You.”

– Me, well, just a hunch?

When I was silent, Ryui Deun continued to explain step by step.

– You can already statistically know what level our company is at to hold a solo concert.

“Hyeonjae probably knows too.”

– No, maknae only looks at our stage reviews, so he probably doesn’t look at the overall level.

Ryui Deun grumbled and explained.

He said there is a virtuous cycle. That we were able to capture people flowing in from the broadcast, I nodded silently at the pouring explanation.

The explanation was long, but to summarize, it was successful thanks to the Luminous [fanbase name].

“…Okay.”

I can agree a hundred times.

– Don’t say anything when you come in? I want to see the kids get surprised. Ah, I thought you might be surprised this time too, but it’s a shame.

“You’re creepy.”

It’s a euphemism for ‘pervert’.

– Are you on your way in?

“Yeah.”

– Come in and have some honey water, I’ve made it.

“As an aside, Junseong hyung already stole my surprised face.”

– Ah, that hyung… I got it!

A concert, I don’t know if it’s that surprising to be honest.

Because I didn’t plan to become an idol, it’s hard to clearly understand the meaning of the word concert.

The gap between someone who dreamed of it as a lifelong goal and someone who had it thrust upon them when they opened their eyes is indescribable.

‘…I kind of want to see the kids get surprised though.’

However, I can only cautiously guess that I don’t know what kind of mark that event will leave on me until that concert day comes.

* * *

And now, I couldn’t guess anything.

The day after the wrap-up party, I was sitting comfortably in the car.

“Can I talk a little before filming?”

“We’re filming, but I’ll make an exception,” the PD [producer] said.

Damn PD.

I suppressed my heart rate from rising at the voice of the only human I call PD.

“Isn’t it a bit strange to drag a professor away as if you’re arresting them?”

“Professors can commit illegal acts too!”

“Did I do that?”

When did I, who suppresses the violence that surges every time I film, commit an illegal act?

One day among the days when there is no music show filming, a day when other members are also working hard to fulfill their schedules.

I was wearing an eye patch and handcuffs, with men on both sides holding my arms. Is Korea’s awareness of human rights this shallow?

“Since when has mental training become a broadcast where you experience arresting criminals?”

“Actually, I had a lot of 고민 (gomin, worries) today,” the PD said, ignoring me.

“Originally, I was going to do a food experience? When I looked for Sardinian food, I found something amazing.”

…Casu Marzu.

A traditional cheese from Sardinia with maggots swarming inside.

Usually, Sardinians eat it with the maggots still alive. Just watching the video makes me lose my appetite, but it’s a precious food for the people of that region.

And I’m not from that region.

“Now I understand the arrest a little better.”

I want to run away right now. I’ve never wanted to run away from a schedule in my life.

“Wow, really, as expected, Donghwa! We’re soulmates! My beloved 자기 (jagi, darling)! You were thinking about Casu Marzu without saying a word, right now!”

“PD-nim, is your goal to film me genuinely cursing?”

“Hey, no way. How could I do that to our precious 출연자 (chulyeonja, cast member)?”

“There is no culture in the world that feeds maggots to precious people.”

“It might exist in space.”

“There might be maggots.”

“You’re 너무 (neomu, too much) ignoring 문과적 (munkwajeok, liberal arts-like) imagination.”

“What I see in my eyes right now is reality, not imagination.”

Because it’s dark because of the eye patch, damn it.

“Anyway, while 고민 (gomin, worrying) like that, we decided. It was a painful choice!”

“I guess it’s the pain I’m going to feel.”

The car stopped.

There probably isn’t anyone who makes Casu Marzu in Korea, and I don’t think it can be imported into Korea, but I was a little afraid that that crazy PD would make it himself and feed it to me.

“This place is…”

The eye patch was removed. I closed and opened my eyes a few times to adjust to the bright light. The front gate in front of me was a very familiar place.

“It’s the Animal Ecology Research Institute.”

…Simba-ssi.