Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 277

On the way back after completing the penalty with Chae Hamin, I saw Lee Hyunjae sitting at a table in the middle of the VR set, reading a book.

He seemed a bit isolated, but seeing the cameraman following him, it looked like waiting there was also part of the filming.

“What are you doing alone, Hyunjae? Where are the other members?” Chae Hamin quickly approached and sat next to him.

*It’s probably a penalty. Seokjoon isn’t someone who can withstand the sensory overload of the final squid game, at least.*

“They went to do a penalty. I was reading this booklet here for a bit.”

As expected, Jun gave in.

I also sat to the right of Lee Hyunjae and looked at the book, which explained the ecosystem of deep-sea fish.

“This is fascinating. It describes the breeding method of the anglerfish species.”

“Yeah.”

“When the male bites the female’s body, his body gradually melts away and shares blood vessels, eventually becoming like one mass. Once his consciousness disappears, only his testes remain, becoming an organ of the female. Then they live as one entity for the rest of their lives. Isn’t that amazing?”

*Talking about that with such clear eyes… I don’t know what to say, Hyunjae.*

*It’s disconcerting when you have the eyes of a child telling a story about a rabbit living on the moon.*

It must have evolved that way to breed with one partner for a long time since it’s hard to find a breeding partner in the deep sea. It feels unsettling, but in the natural world, things that seem cruel to human eyes are common.

“So, they’re one forever,” Chae Hamin exclaimed.

I honestly thought he’d be disgusted, but he had a different impression than me.

“Yes, that’s right, Hamin hyung.”

“Wow… how romantic.”

The short words came out of Chae Hamin’s mouth. He put his hands together as if in prayer and held them to his lips, marveling.

“Huh?”

“Uh?”

Lee Hyunjae and I turned our heads towards Chae Hamin at the same time.

*What are you saying, you crazy rabbit.*

*No one opened their mouth, but that sound seemed to echo on its own. Where are we supposed to find romance in the breeding of anglerfish?*

“Promising eternal love and becoming completely one, that’s really romantic, isn’t it?”

*Seriously, something’s twisted in you, Hamin.*

Especially saying that after hearing about a fish’s breeding method.

But I couldn’t say that, and in the end, I avoided Chae Hamin’s eyes, who was seeking agreement.

I didn’t have the courage to tell him he was twisted in front of the camera. It’s even a reality show, so I can’t hide behind a character.

Lee Hyunjae nodded a few times and then opened his mouth.

*Yes, Hyunjae. Don’t worry about anyone and tear him down.*

However, the words that came out of Lee Hyunjae’s mouth thoroughly betrayed my expectations.

“…Well, it is romantic in a way. To completely fall for the sake of love is very romantic. Right?”

*Is that kind of romance really okay? Especially with the anglerfish’s breeding method?*

*Isaiah Berlin—the author of 『The Roots of Romanticism』—might be a little sad.*

But again, I couldn’t say that, and in the end, I avoided Lee Hyunjae’s eyes, who was asking for praise.

Debating what romanticism is in front of the camera isn’t a fitting move for an idol reality show, at least.

As I was thinking that and examining the appearance of the flooring, I felt Chae Hamin and Lee Hyunjae’s gazes on my cheek.

A blatant request for an answer.

Then the process in my head starts working. No matter how crazy that PD [Production Director] is, would he use this scene?

In reality, 80% of the mumbling I do to Simba gets cut out. Because it doesn’t fit the purpose of the mental care class broadcast.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the confidence to make anything I answer work for the broadcast.

*Ha, it’ll be edited out anyway.*

“…You guys, both of you are twisted.”

In the end, I blurted it out.

“Huh? Donghwa! This is really romantic!” Chae Hamin was startled by my words.

If a skilled painter were to depict the expression of someone shouting, ‘How could you say that!’, it would feel like that.

Lee Hyunjae is covering his mouth and laughing next to him.

Seeing him do that, Lee Hyunjae clearly knows what I’m thinking.

“Donghwa doesn’t know romance, right, Hyunjae?”

“I guess so, Hamin hyung. I wish Donghwa hyung would explain it to us. Why it isn’t.”

*Ha, Hyunjae.*

The definition of romanticism and love, the issue of qualia [subjective experience] and its identity, the dangers of anthropocentric [human-centered] interpretation, etc.

While I was explaining step by step, Chae Hamin had a blank expression, and Lee Hyunjae had an expression that he knew everything, so it was an incomprehensible time with no meaning.

Damn it, I shouldn’t have opened my mouth.

And the PD, who had been watching all this, laughed and quietly chimed in.

“You two seem like liberal arts students, and Donghwa seems like a science student.”

…Seriously, to say that.

“I’m also a liberal arts student.”

There’s a tradition of philosophy majors starting with my father, what do you mean?

The PD opened his mouth as if it was a decisive blow.

“You’re too logical.”

Chae Hamin, who was watching my expression, covered his mouth for a moment. It was a very subtle change, but he must have noticed it.

“…Do you perhaps study how to raise my heart rate?”

Since when was liberal arts reduced to illogicality?

Suddenly, an unknown stuffiness surged up.

This is like… teaching Korean to an anglerfish.

“Yes, it’s a line I thought of before going to bed last night. Does your heart beat a little faster?”

I’m definitely cutting ties with that human.

“…I hope you face the wrath of all the liberal arts students in the country.”

As I left a curse filled with sincerity, I saw two figures walking over from afar.

Ah, seriously, it’s the first time I’m glad to see Ryu Ideun.

I got up from my seat and greeted Ryu Ideun.

“Welcome.”

Ryu Ideun was startled, perhaps because it was unexpected that I, not Chae Hamin, was greeting him, but he quickly made a skillful joke.

“Oh, what’s this? Things weren’t working out again because I wasn’t here?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s wrong! Tell me. This younger brother will solve it.”

Ryu Ideun shouted proudly, pretending to roll up his sleeves. Even though he was wearing short sleeves, so there was nothing to roll up.

However, that’s what he always says when something goes wrong in the practice room or studio. It’s reliable because 90% of the problems are solved when he actually says that.

“…Can you switch me with the PD?”

“Huh?”

“Younger brother, solve it.”

The PD laughed at my joke.

Other staff members also seemed used to it, creating a friendly atmosphere, only Ryu Ideun was giving me a look that said, ‘Wow, is it okay to say that?’

Fortunately, I say that often when filming Mental Care Class.

“Donghwa-ssi, this is a secret,” the PD, who was listening to the conversation, opened his mouth along with the sign that the filming was over.

“If you’re going to disparage liberal arts students, I’d appreciate it if you kept it a secret.”

Because there are only two liberal arts students here.

“I’m going to Nietzsche.”

“Pardon?”

It was a sound that made me ask again even though I heard it clearly.

I wish he meant he was going to be with Nietzsche [German philosopher].

“To be exact, it’s a collaboration, Blossence Reality, once a week. The Team Leader of Planning Team 2 said that if I did it alone, the broadcast would go crazy, so they’re going to scout another PD. This is the first time.”

“…Seriously.”

“It’s a kind of one-pot meal [fixed situation]. You can’t change it. Not for a while longer. If you thought you’d be free after the second period of Mental Care Class, you underestimated me.”

A leech-like human. Maybe that’s what an anglerfish male is like.

Soon he’ll stick to our company and melt away. Chae Hamin will probably look at that and rave about how romantic it is.

“Then shall we go to the Heartfelt Camp? Ideun-ssi, please come to me for a moment, as I need to give you some precautions.”

Heartfelt Camp, I don’t know what that is, but can you handle my true feelings?

* * *

Ryu Ideun patted his shoulder as he entered the campsite.

It was the first time filming directly with that PD, and it was a time when he could understand what kind of trouble Ji Donghwa usually went through.

*Ah, I think Donghwa was at his maximum level of annoyance earlier, but I didn’t see it from the side.*

The flow of thought that started from Ji Donghwa, who seemed disgusted, naturally leads to the members as usual.

Hamin looked tired today, I wonder if he’s okay. Jun is fine because his game console is intact, and Hyunjae… I’m always worried and proud of him these days.

Listening to Ji Donghwa’s explanation of the situation earlier, ‘Hyunjae is starting to resemble you,’ it seems like it started with a bit of playfulness.

Come to think of it, it’s been a while since the members have been in a resting space like a campsite.

Except for practice, filming, and the waiting time for that, it’s all travel time.

There aren’t many hours of sleep, but up to a level where we can gather and eat sometimes, even guaranteed leisure time.

It’s a relief that the company could have tried to treat them like dogs, but thankfully didn’t.

Of course, if that really happened, Ji Donghwa would have been genuinely angry, putting himself second.

That’s scarier. I’ve never seen it, but I have no idea what he’ll do when he gets pissed.

Yeah, the conclusion is always a question about Ji Donghwa.

Ryu Ideun organized his thoughts while holding the sign that read ‘Unsuitable for Broadcast’ that the PD had given him.

A person holding the title of leader of a group, Ryu Ideun has always defined himself that way.

And a leader is someone who shouldn’t have anything to be criticized for, Ryu Ideun has always thought that way.

Even if he feels like throwing up, he wakes up early to exercise, manages his diet even if it doesn’t taste good, always smiles even when he’s tired, fulfills the company’s requests as they are, and creates a good atmosphere in the practice room.

With more individual or unit broadcasts, he monitors everything as much as possible in case he misses anything, listens to rumors to see if there were any mistakes, and puts a checkmark in his mind if he hears any absurd nonsense.

He memorizes all the members’ schedules and checks if they’re not in bad condition.

When Ji Donghwa and Chae Hamin fight, he tries to put them together in private—then it usually gets resolved—, manages the health of Lee Hyunjae, who is tired of studying, and sticks next to Seokjoon, who is difficult to control, to monitor him.

Seeing that Seokjoon usually causes accidents when he’s not around, he’s someone who can manipulate Seokjoon, whom even Ji Donghwa can’t handle properly.

Especially Ji Donghwa is a person to watch out for.

Chae Hamin kept it a secret, but he was also the one who suggested holding a special lecture on Ji Donghwa’s expressions (so Ryu Ideun had a headache considering all the possibilities when Ji Donghwa came to hit him).

And a question that has arisen recently.

*He’s not happy.*

The tour wasn’t the goal, and maybe being an idol wasn’t the goal.

Considering Ji Donghwa’s knowledge of idols, thinking about it now, Ji Donghwa’s goal was ‘Let’s do our best and fail!’

After meeting his younger sibling, he had an attitude of ‘I’m grateful for all of this,’ but that seemed like an unexpected windfall, not a goal.

And talking about prophetic dreams, I haven’t seen him sleep.

Considering Ji Donghwa’s personality, if he could only see the future by sleeping, he would have made a fuss to sleep periodically, he wouldn’t have stayed up all night like that.

He can see something even during the day, or he already knows everything, or someone is telling him.

Then who is the Gijisaeng-ssi [unidentified person] that Jun mentioned? What did Hamin find out recently? Why wouldn’t he reveal that to me? It’s a little sad.

Ryu Ideun was just smiling brightly without showing anything on his face.

Beyond that, slightly complicated thoughts were racing at a crazy speed.