Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 281

When I reached the ground, the device that had been holding me and the staff member together released, and my legs gave way, causing me to collapse.

The guys who had been watching from a distance were startled and rushed over in a flurry.

“Hyung, hyung, are you okay?”

“You, you can’t die, hyung-nim! PD-nim [Production Director]! Medical team!”

“Dong-hwa-ya! CPR! CPR! I learned it when I was with the Red Cross!”

*Don’t make a fuss, you bastards.*

I swatted away Chae Ha-min, who was trying to do chest compressions, and got up. Lee Hyun-jae supported me from the side.

“Hah.”

I sighed and leaned on Lee Hyun-jae’s arm.

It was a scene you might see when a general dies in battle, but it can’t be helped if it’s too much. I’m alive, right now.

There aren’t many opportunities to experience the raw gratitude of being alive.

“He’s, he’s breathing! Dong-hwa is alive!”

“Thank goodness! I thought you were going to die, hyung-nim!”

You crazy bastards. Lee Hyun-jae laughed and straightened me up.

Just then, with a thud, someone landed a little further away, and then with a tap-tap, the sound of kicking off the ground, Ryu I-deun burst in.

“Dong-hwa hyung! I’m sorry! It’s my! It’s my fault!”

“Please be quiet, please.”

Because it’s embarrassing.

I pushed everyone away and, supported only by Lee Hyun-jae, got up and brushed the dirt off my pants.

“Hah, I’m alive.”

Ryu I-deun heard my words and then, as if his legs had given way, he fell backward.

“I really, I considered all the worst-case scenarios possible in life, our Dong-hwa-ya.”

“…Everyone lives like that normally.”

Except for Seok-joon.

“It’s contagious, it’s contagious.”

I massaged my weak hand and looked down at Ryu I-deun.

He had a look of relief on his face. *I need to share this feeling with a dog who had a similar experience to me.*

“How was it?”

Did you also feel how small you are on this earth?

“They were worried about you. They were saying, what if he has a heart attack?”

“…Nonsense.”

I expected too much from a dog.

“It wasn’t that scary.”

I felt disillusioned and offered my arm to Ryu I-deun.

“I’m so glad, really. You said something so meaningful before you jumped!”

“Hmm?”

“Like, you’ll find out! I thought it was really!”

What could he have misunderstood it as to make such a fuss?

“You talked like you were going to die!”

Ryu I-deun didn’t grab the arm I offered and instead rolled around on the dirt floor.

“…Could the words ‘you’ll find out’ be interpreted that way?”

“I don’t know! That’s how it felt! I really…”

What an unsightly figure.

I think I know what a truly unsightly figure is. Like an elementary school student throwing a tantrum in a shopping mall.

The members, unable to understand the situation, just watched Ryu I-deun’s writhing.

“…Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve seen I-deun hyung [older brother/male friend] embarrassed.”

Lee Hyun-jae quietly covered his face with both hands.

“Me too.”

I also turned my head and looked at the mountain.

Ah, that mountain, it was beautiful. Beyond it, people were building buildings.

Chae Ha-min and Seok-joon, also embarrassed, grabbed each other’s hands and buried their faces in them. It’s an unusual situation.

Ryu I-deun grabbed my hand, which was still outstretched.

“…Help me up.”

He must be embarrassed now.

I put strength into my hand and pulled Ryu I-deun up, then gestured with my head towards where the staff members were.

“Look over there. It’s been a while since I’ve seen PD-nim so flustered. I think PD-nim is embarrassed too.”

“Hah, our Dong-hwa is really…”

It’s also been a while since I’ve had the chance to teach Ryu I-deun about embarrassment like this.

* * *

Ryu I-deun felt wronged.

To say, ‘You’ll find out soon,’ with a pathetic expression like someone about to fall from a plane and die.

Moreover, that person usually acts like they’re not afraid of anything, but then they make a slightly fearful expression, looking like a general heading into enemy territory while sensing defeat!

The tantrum he threw at the skydiving site, although a bit excessive, he believes everyone would have done the same.

“Hah, it’s Ji Dong-hwa’s trap…”

“It’s a trap you fell into yourself, so it’s your trap, I-deun.”

Therefore, after taking the closing shot and getting into the car, Ryu I-deun couldn’t help but ask.

“Hyung, so what did that mean?”

“It meant I was going to tell you what you were curious about.”

Ji Dong-hwa lay down comfortably. He looked more relaxed than any time Ryu I-deun had seen him outside.

On the other hand, Ryu I-deun stiffened as soon as he heard Ji Dong-hwa’s words.

“I can’t say it in front of the camera. I was going to tell you at the dorm or something.”

“…Wow, I guess I should consider this an honor.”

“Ah, has Mok-hwa contacted you any more?”

Ryu I-deun checked his phone.

In fact, they had a deeper conversation, but once you’ve joined a fight, you have to hide everything for your side.

“No, she hasn’t.”

“…That’s a lie.”

But whether it’s true that knowing yourself and your enemy leads to victory, Ji Dong-hwa immediately saw through his intentions.

Ryu I-deun silently avoided his gaze.

“What are the odds that what you’re hiding from Mok-hwa is the same as what you’re hiding from hyung?”

Ji Dong-hwa muttered, staring blankly out the window.

*I’ve never actually met a philosopher, but he had the expression that best described the word ‘contemplating’ of anyone I know.*

“…I don’t sympathize with the enemy, hyung.”

Of course, without even calculating the odds, Ryu I-deun thought they were probably the same, but he couldn’t reveal that.

“I’m disappointed.”

To make such a disappointed voice, how sly, really. He’s not disappointed at all, he’s acting.

“But I can’t help it.”

Ji Dong-hwa, who had been listening to his firm answer, unfolded his arms.

“…Then, does the brick know the answer?”

He immediately reflexively crouched down and covered his head with both arms.

Ji Dong-hwa’s brick punch is becoming increasingly accurate, somewhere between a hit and a touch, so it’s only slightly ticklish after more than ten hits.

Ryu I-deun sometimes gets confused whether Ji Dong-hwa is hitting him with all his might, or whether his anger is just increasing.

And after standing still like that for a while, Ryu I-deun cautiously peeked to the side, wondering why Ji Dong-hwa still hadn’t struck him with the brick.

“…Hyung, are you asleep?”

Good heavens, in all my life, I’ve never seen Ji Dong-hwa sleeping so soundly in a car.

Ryu I-deun took a picture and sent it to Chae Ha-min, writing, ‘Ji Dong-hwa passed out in the car day.’ Another anniversary will be added to Chae Ha-min’s diary.

A car where everyone except him is asleep. Ryu I-deun smiled quietly.

Finally, he’s been recognized. When we get to the dorm today, Ji Dong-hwa will reveal everything himself. He’ll shatter all the speculations about seeing ghosts and whatnot.

Ryu I-deun was already feeling happy.

* * *

When I returned to the dorm, I was hit directly by the fatigue of my whole body.

I guess you have to be prepared to be unable to move for a day after returning from a trip.

I washed up, lay down on the bed, and enjoyed the feeling of my limbs melting away. The exhaustion today was greater than on days when I had performed on stage multiple times.

“Dong-hwa-ya, are you feeling okay?”

Being treated like a patient just for skydiving once is disrespectful to all the patients in the world, isn’t it, Ha-min?

“Yeah.”

“This trip was really fun.”

Fluttering, Chae Ha-min’s legs were kicking on the bed. It was a similar movement to the tantrum Ryu I-deun threw during the day.

He’s already copied the movement, as expected of someone who’s creating choreography.

“I hope we can go next time without filming.”

“Me too.”

“We won’t have to wear weird clothes and not eat, right? I was so embarrassed eating salad with rabbit ears! It doesn’t matter how many times I wear them at fan signs, but why is it like that outside!”

“Hehehe.”

I burst out laughing weakly. My resistance was lowered because my body was tired.

Chae Ha-min stared blankly at me and then smiled contentedly. *You’re the one who’s funny, Ha-min.*

“I’ll get revenge on that PD bastard someday.”

If I were to weigh the importance of gratitude and resentment, the latter would be much greater.

“Of course! I’ll help you too. I won’t forget the humiliation of this day.”

“Thanks, I’ll help with the cooking too.”

“Should I turn off the lights?”

“Huh? Already?”

“You look sleepy. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this expression on your face.”

That’s right. I guess I’m sleepy now.

Seeing that my head isn’t working, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt so dazed.

* * *

At four in the morning, I woke up on my own. They say that old people sleep less in the morning, is that true?

Today is the start of the last week of activities for ‘All mine,’ and I felt refreshed as if all the fatigue that had accumulated had been resolved. It felt like I had a new body with only my brain transplanted.

I quietly got up and went outside, so as not to wake Chae Ha-min, who had been waking up easily lately.

*’…Why is he here?’*

I was surprised to see Ryu I-deun lying on the sofa.

It’s surprising that he’s not awake yet, but even more so that he’s sleeping on the sofa instead of in his room.

“Hyung.”

I boiled some tea and then shook Ryu I-deun on the sofa.

The eyes that had been closed slowly opened.

“If you’re going to sleep more, go inside and sleep.”

Ryu I-deun, who had been staring blankly at me, suddenly frowned.

His face was full of sadness, and the footsteps I had been taking to make tea stopped.

“Dong-hwa-ya.”

“What.”

“…Hyung, yesterday, waited for you here and fell asleep.”

With that short sentence, the whole situation was understood.

But I only specified the place, I didn’t specify the time. Didn’t I say I’d tell him at the dorm or something?

I paused for a moment and recalled the series of events that had happened yesterday. Even though I was dazed, the memories remained clear.

And finally, I nodded.

*It’s easy to misunderstand, damn it. How could I have spoken without considering the context like that, what was I doing yesterday.*

“Sorry. It’s hard to say that my condition was normal yesterday.”

Ryu I-deun got up from his seat and stretched. All the sad expressions were gone, and only the freshness of the morning remained, just like me.

“No, you don’t have to be. Actually, I waited even after opening the door and confirming that you were sleeping.”

Hmm?

“I wanted to show you that I waited.”

*No matter how I look at it, no matter how many times I rethink it, I’m the most normal one in this group. It seems like it would be accepted even if submitted as an axiom to the mathematics community.*

“So, reveal it now.”

“I’m over thirty in mental age.”

“…Huh?”

“I was twenty-nine years old, but I went back to being twenty years old.”

“Then, are you really older than me?”

“Yeah, younger brother.”

Actually, the birth year hasn’t changed, but the time I’ve experienced has.

I walked to the kitchen and poured two cups of tea. Unlike my calm self, Ryu I-deun hurriedly sat down at the table.

“In detail.”

I put a cup of tea in front of Ryu I-deun and sat down opposite him.

“Where should I start, Gisaeng [Ghost]?”

I didn’t have to read the room, so I just said it out loud.

The opportunity cost of revealing the truth is small compared to building a genuine relationship with these guys.

Economics usually provides rational conclusions.

Accept all the given circumstances, accept that my goals were different from theirs, and then just build again.

Ryu I-deun was surprised to see me talking to the air.

[Well, let’s start with the fact that we were stupid bastards who didn’t have the courage to talk to our younger brother.]

He was surprised again to see me reading the letters while looking at the air.

Hmm, this is a little fun. Chae Ha-min was drunk at the time, so he didn’t show such a rational reaction.

“I, was a jerk who didn’t know how to apologize first.”

A story about a long time, a story about the time I will experience, and the time Gisaeng experienced, let’s summarize and convey it within three minutes.