Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 293

Thanks to the invention of the camera, we can preserve moments we want to remember. Sometimes, moments that even the person involved doesn’t remember are captured in photos, which can be a little embarrassing.

Like the photo in front of me now, recording the moment when I, as a two-year-old, succeeded in standing up on my own.

My childhood, which I don’t fully remember, like my newborn days, could only be heard through stories if not for the photos.

Mok-hwa admired the photo album stored in our house.

“Wow, Hyung [older brother], your eyes were fierce even back then. How old were you in this?”

“Two years old.”

Although I don’t remember it, I can guess the circumstances through my parents’ diaries.

As soon as I stood up, my father covered his mouth and shed tears of emotion, and my mother told him not to be so dramatic while pressing the shutter button several times.

My father had a knack for breaking every machine he touched, so taking pictures was always my mother’s job.

“And your eyes are still fierce now.”

“Really?”

“To be exact, cold. How can a baby’s face look so cold? You’re just standing up on your own, but anyone would think you’re debating a heavy topic.”

Wouldn’t standing up alone at that age be considered a very heavy and profound topic?

Anyway, so I am standing alone in the studio, literally, to parody the photo of me standing alone.

I changed from the rootless outfit of just a jacket on my bare body to another outfit.

A sweater, but a bit…

I still don’t know why the people who choose my outfits always pick clothes that reveal my neck so much.

Maybe they have some kind of agreement among themselves? This industry is full of secret deals.

“Dong-hwa, shall we start shooting?”

At the photographer’s words, Mok-hwa mouthed ‘Fighting!’ and slipped out.

Every time I take concept photos, I feel a rush of shame when I’m alone in front of the lens.

“Dong-hwa, show off a mature vibe. Just pose naturally, and I’ll capture the perfect shot!”

What is an adult? That’s the kind of thought I would have had at the beginning of my debut.

Now, I’m always getting such vague requests, so I’m glad I’m skilled enough not to ask stupid questions.

I leaned against the wall and looked at the lens.

It’s a pose like a thug you’d frown at if you met them in a back alley. Generally, when they ask for a mature vibe, posing like a thug usually works.

I guess the maturity that my face evokes has some kind of connection with delinquency.

“Oh, good, can you look down a little?”

The photographer sat on the floor and held up the camera.

I tilted my head slightly. Ryu I-deun said that I look good when viewed slightly diagonally from the left, and I guess it’s true.

“Heu, it’s all about the fit… The leg length is desirable…”

The photographer, who was taking pictures well, leaned back more and more, and suddenly let out a strange laugh.

I don’t know if this is appropriate to say, but it’s perverted.

“How can all those organs fit in there…”

Please don’t be curious about my insides, sir.

The photographer jumped up from his seat and moved to my left.

The intense desire to take a close-up of my face was visible in his eyes, so I turned my body to the left and leaned my head against the wall without being told.

“Ah, good! Look somewhere else!”

I tilted my eyes as if looking at the end of my shoulder.

“Ah! Wow! Very! Very good! I envy your genes!”

Who in the world gives such compliments? That’s the kind of thing a scientist doing human 改造 [remodeling] experiments would say.

“Chair! Set up a chair! Dong-hwa, squat on it!”

Oh my god, he’s going beyond the use of the chair. It’s deconstructionism.

* * *

“Hyung, you were really flying high?”

“Stop it.”

It’s the first time I’ve shown this process to my younger brother, and I just want to die.

“That photographer’s reactions change drastically depending on the subject.”

I heard it from Ryu I-deun.

“He said that if he doesn’t like the proportions, you can’t even expect a full-body shot. He hides the legs somehow.”

“Yeah.”

“Hyung got a full-body shot.”

You’re teasing me with a syllogism. You’ve become a little Ji Dong-hwa.

Mok-hwa just finished taking a full-body shot too.

“Were our parents’ proportions good too?”

“I don’t know.”

In the first place, who looks at their parents and thinks, ‘Their proportions are close to the golden ratio.’

“Mother is too much. She didn’t leave a single full-body photo of Father. Was he not very cool?”

“…That’s not likely.”

According to the diary, where she said she liked him at first sight, it would be difficult. Because 80% of first impressions are determined by appearance.

“That doesn’t make sense. Then from when they met at the park near the school…”

“Probably.”

What are the odds that a couple who met in high school would go to college together in Seoul, get married, and raise two children well?

I sat behind Mok-hwa and sighed. The original photo for the next scene to be taken is a photo of Mok-hwa sitting in my arms when he was young.

Why are you so big?

“…Um, I’m a little embarrassed too, this.”

Mok-hwa must have felt awkward when I sat behind him and stayed still.

“Shrink your bones a little.”

“Is that what Hyung should be saying? It’s just that Hyung is relatively small in that group, but objectively, your frame isn’t small.”

I sat on the sofa and hugged his back.

This is the feeling of parents hugging their child who graduated from college in another town and came back home.

I understand. I feel like he’s all grown up, he’s completely capable of doing his part, and I wonder if I’ll get empty nest syndrome.

“Okay, let’s take it. Can you both smile?”

The photographer shouted brightly.

“Mok-hwa, you’re a little stiff! Are you not on good terms with your brother?”

I see.

“No. It’s just that it’s the first time we’ve taken a picture like this after growing up, so it’s kind of…”

The unspoken words ‘shameful’ were omitted. Wouldn’t it be normal to be ashamed if two grown brothers took something like this?

“I’ll leave you with a beautiful family photo. It’s my first time taking a family photo among my works, so I’m quite nervous right now?”

Mok-hwa opened his mouth and distorted his expression wildly. It’s the appearance of a human trying to loosen their facial muscles without removing makeup.

“Okay, then naturally, take any pose you like.”

Come to think of it, we’ve never gone to a photo studio together after growing up. We only went once when Mok-hwa was very young.

“I don’t know how much I laughed when I saw the past photos of you two. How can brothers be so similar to when they were young?”

I don’t know about me, but Mok-hwa has really grown up well. Seeing me feel proud for no reason, I learn the feelings of parents bragging about their children again.

* * *

I lay down on the sofa in the waiting room after the shoot. The photographer was so passionate that I felt like my energy was drained.

Mok-hwa erased his makeup and came out and sat down with a thud.

“Come to think of it, there are no stories about Hyung from high school.”

“I don’t know.”

[We were bullied, weren’t we.]

There are things you can and can’t say to your younger brother.

Mok-hwa glared at me sullenly, probably because I was obviously hiding something.

“I knew you’d be like that, so I looked into it! I thought Hyung wouldn’t be interested.”

“Is that possible?”

What kind of method did you use to find someone who knows me?

“I asked Elder Hwa-yang, and he did it for me. I was curious even if it wasn’t really Hyung.”

“That… would be possible.”

Elder Hwa-yang is a considerate person, so he wouldn’t have said that I was bullied.

“Hyung kept studying after school, so the kids couldn’t even talk to you. They wanted to talk to you.”

“…Me?”

That’s quite different from what I experienced.

“Yeah, that’s what the Elder said. As soon as I heard it, I thought, ‘Ah…’ I think it would have been like that even if it was really Hyung.”

[I investigated and it seems to be true. Actually, I didn’t look because I wasn’t interested in your school life.]

“That’s strange. It shouldn’t have been like that originally.”

If Elder Hwa-yang isn’t lying to boost my morale, it must be a change that happened after becoming a trainee.

“They said you were annoying.”

“Why?”

I thought about the first time I was told I was annoying.

“Because when they said they didn’t know something, you told them to think about it alone.”

“That’s what Hyung always said.”

“That’s what Father always said too.”

Of course, I know what the problem is now. There’s no way there are many places like our family in the world.

“If I tried to get close and you did that, I’d be a little sad too.”

“…Um?”

I don’t think he listened properly.

“They said they didn’t know something, Mok-hwa.”

“People usually use that as an excuse to start a conversation. Hyung must have been number one.”

Our Mok-hwa still overestimates me. If you saw my appearance back then, it wouldn’t have been easy for anyone to talk to me. It was a time when I felt disgusted with the world, so even my expression was unpleasant.

If there was anything different, Gi-saeng would have corrected it, but it’s quiet, so it must be true.

* * *

Team Leader Jang Hae-jin and PD [Production Director] were sitting side by side. They’re really collaborating, that damn PD.

“We’re going to film our own content. Each of you visiting your alma mater.”

“…Yes?”

Everyone’s eyes turned to me.

They’re the only ones who know that I’m absent from high school.

“I was wondering if there’s any clean group without private life issues, so I’m going to try filming it once. If it doesn’t seem right, we can just throw away what we filmed.”

The team leader smiled like a relaxed lion, with the nuance of ‘It’s okay to invest and fail. It’s just pocket money anyway.’

It’s an expression that shows the confidence of someone who has power and wields it as they please.

I’ve been busy lately and haven’t had a chance to hear company news, so I didn’t know what was going on.

“The PD sitting next to me is good at directing in the style of Human Theater [a documentary-style TV show]? If you look at the mental training, it’s almost a documentary.”

“The situation was just slightly manipulated!”

I almost frowned.

Slightly? No matter how relative the word is, how can you use it so recklessly?

“…What do we do when we go?”

Ryu I-deun asked cautiously.

“Just reminiscing about old memories. What’s good at the store here, what is this, what is this classroom, that kind of thing.”

“Of course, the situation will be slightly manipulated! Ah! I said it. It’s a secret, originally.”

Shut up, PD. The manipulation you do drives people to extreme situations.

Unlike last time, even Chae Ha-min looked at the PD with suspicious eyes.

“Everyone, feel like you’re going to school in your uniform after a long time. When you get old, you want to wear your uniform again, right?”

Ryu I-deun nodded. You old man.

“I’ve done all the preliminary research. There are no teachers who remember you negatively. It seems like you can just go.”

“…Yes.”

I nodded silently. Our own content filmed in advance before the concert, what kind of filming will it be?

[Tonight, I will send you each incident that happened with the teachers. Can you memorize it?]

Gi-saeng reached out his hand before I even asked for help.

‘Yeah, the school is where I went?’

[Yes, the school itself is the same as the one you went to, so you don’t need to study separately.]

Yeah, whether I’m in college now or in high school back then, there’s essentially no difference. What special things could have happened to someone who went to school silently, studied, and disappeared?