Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 308

Sudden tears often catch people off guard. Just like the tears I shed at the end of the performance, which momentarily silenced the concert hall.

It’s happening again. Ryu Iden’s sudden tears have caused another moment of stunned silence.

This is the first time I’ve experienced such a perplexing silence.

When the cause and effect are unclear, you can’t help but wonder what’s going on before offering comfort.

“Hyung, why are you crying…?”

Hyeonjae’s voice trailed off, uncertain.

Ryu Iden lifted his head without answering and vigorously fanned his face.

“Ugh.”

His attempt to make an excuse into the microphone quickly crumbled.

As if a dam had burst, only a heavy, sighing sob escaped him.

Seokjun quietly moved his large frame and patted Ryu Iden’s shoulder in sympathy. He’s the type to react instinctively when someone is crying.

Ryu Iden tried to stop the tears, but he couldn’t hold them back any longer and lowered his head.

In that brief moment, I was a little surprised by Ryu Iden’s expression. His eyes were red as he desperately fought back tears.

From the audience, a frenzy of shouts erupted, starting with “Cry! Cry more!” and soon all the Luminaries [fanbase name] were roaring in unison.

Well, crying isn’t exactly a virtue, but it’s not a vice either. Especially since they seem to enjoy seeing us cry like this.

“Hyungnim…” [term of endearment for an older brother or respected male figure]

Seokjun’s expression contorted as he watched Ryu Iden struggling to suppress his tears, and he burst into tears himself.

Chae Hamin, who had been quietly watching the two of them, burst into laughter when he saw Seokjun crying. He must have thought it was cute that his younger brother was crying because his older brother was crying.

Then, as he approached to comfort them, tears began to well up, replacing the laughter.

Eventually, when he reached Ryu Iden and Seokjun, he burst into tears himself.

…What are you guys doing?

The three of them hugged each other and sobbed, patting each other in comfort.

Hyeonjae and I carefully stepped aside. It’s hard to tell who is comforting whom.

“…You cry too, Hyeonjae.”

I picked up the microphone.

Even if the members are crying, the concert is still going on. Just cry enough not to strain your voice, or stall for time until the tears subside.

It was a small ball that I kicked off in the first place. In a group where 179cm [approximately 5’10”] is the shortest height, who else but me could take on this role?

“I’m sorry. I decided to cry at the end in advance.”

Let’s banter with Hyeonjae until the three of them calm down.

* * *

While Hyeonjae and Ji Donghwa were teasing the crying members with ad-libs and lifting the mood, Ryu Iden suddenly snapped out of it.

The tears disappeared, and he racked his brain to figure out how to handle the situation.

‘Ah, Ji Donghwa, really.’

That’s cheating. Aren’t you supposed to say those things at the end? The talk time, which was arranged to liven up the atmosphere before entering the exciting stage, turned into a sea of tears.

‘I’m glad I became an idol.’ Behind this simple sentence lies a story that the Luminous don’t know.

Ji Donghwa, who is always dedicated to Blossoms [group name] but remains somewhat detached, like an observer, Ryu Iden felt a pang of sympathy for that distance.

Ji Donghwa, who has been avoiding the core with clever words when asked about his motives for becoming an idol in interviews.

Ji Donghwa, who didn’t react as much as the other members even when he heard about album sales or concert sizes.

He was the first of us to cry, and the first thing he said was, ‘I’m glad I became an idol.’

That short phrase seemed so heartfelt to Ryu Iden.

The certainty that he was fully sharing the joy of this moment as a member of the group, so much.

Ryu Iden suppressed the urge to cry.

The concert is still on. We have to turn this around cheerfully.

For a moment, the recovery was put on the back burner. It’s only right to praise a commendable younger brother endlessly.

Ryu Iden passed Chae Hamin and Seokjun, who were slightly questioning why they were crying, and shouted at Ji Donghwa.

“It’s all your fault!”

“What is.”

“Everyone, we were supposed to be laughing and warming up for the next stage, but Donghwa hyung messed it all up!”

Ji Donghwa glanced at Chae Hamin, who was bowing his head in embarrassment after crying, and Seokjun, who was smiling as if all was well.

The thought of ‘Can I really be held responsible for that?’ was written all over his face.

“Donghwa is, like, taking the lead and saying he’s happy to be in the same group as us.”

“…Huh?”

“He did say that, didn’t he?”

Ji Donghwa contorted his face.

Are you going to say that here? Ryu Iden decided to ignore the potential consequences of the thought that was conveyed only through his eyes.

“One day, we were worried about Donghwa’s health because he practically lives in the studio, right?”

That day, Ji Donghwa said that he couldn’t imagine disbanding with you guys, so he ended up working, and after spitting out each word with difficulty, he walked away with his ears flushed and fell asleep as if he had fainted.

Ryu Iden explained briefly.

Ji Donghwa behind the stage that the Luminaries didn’t see, Ji Donghwa who gradually realized that he was happy, very briefly.

“So when Donghwa says things like that, I get overwhelmed with emotion.”

That’s because I can explain my tears and Ji Donghwa’s tears.

Of course, I can’t say that I feel like we’re completely on the same wavelength now.

I can’t say that Ji Donghwa, who was unfamiliar with life as an idol, has now completely embraced it.

Ryu Iden wanted to convey even a fraction of his emotion to the fans.

So I hope the fans will understand Ji Donghwa a little better, even if it’s only a tiny bit.

Because it’s too admirable and praiseworthy to only focus on ourselves.

* * *

Even if there was an incident that suddenly turned the concert hall into a place to wail, the concert will continue.

Whether Ryu Iden shows off his muscles in a half-naked state, Chae Hamin shows off his crazy dance moves, or Seokjun and Hyeonjae have a battle of nerves with rap and vocals on the duet stage, time will only pass.

The song ‘Birds of a Feather,’ which was a unit song of the hyung line [older members], is a song that was created by linking each person’s personal songs into one song.

It’s a song that best expresses the three of us, with completely different melodies crammed into one song.

It contains the theme that even if we don’t always get along, we’re still the same guys.

From Ryu Iden’s barely-there outfit, which makes you wonder if there wasn’t enough fabric, to Chae Hamin’s constantly cheerful antics, it’s a composition that really reveals that we don’t always see eye-to-eye.

Even the choreography, which is like three gangster bosses fighting and arguing in the setting, reveals how different we are.

On the other hand.

“They really seem to be fighting.”

“That’s because the song has that concept.”

The song was rearranged for the unit stage.

The stage that Seokjun prepared alone with Hyeonjae after arranging it himself is cute.

It’s titled ‘Nemesis,’ and they wrote the lyrics themselves.

Hyeonjae picks Seokjun as his nemesis, and Seokjun playfully teases Hyeonjae. Hyeonjae’s vocals are rhythmic, and Seokjun’s rap is laid-back, so it’s like they just put their usual selves on stage.

The combination of Hyeonjae, who exudes intensity as if fighting while facing each other with backup dancers, and Seokjun, who leisurely roams the stage, is really something.

One is even wearing a school uniform reminiscent of a model student, and the other is wearing a uniform that is hard to see as a school uniform, reminiscent of a delinquent, so it suits them perfectly.

In the end, you are my nemesis, my record stained with defeat.

Yes, I am your nemesis, your expression that looks forward to tomorrow.

I took a sip of water while listening to Hyeonjae and Seokjun humming in turn.

The typography in the VCR is moving brilliantly, so even if it’s a song you’re hearing for the first time, you’ll be able to understand the lyrics.

Seokjun’s pronunciation is clear when he raps, and Hyeonjae is so clear that I don’t think you’ll have trouble understanding the lyrics.

I was relieved. The end of the hectic three-hour journey was approaching.

“Now, it’s really over.”

“I guess so.”

The unit stage, which is placed at the end of the concert, ultimately shows what kind of relationship we have.

So the last song was virtually decided.

In other words, there is only the fan song ‘Luminous,’ which reveals the relationship between those who are still shining in the audience and us.

* * *

Three and a half hours, it’s a tiring time, but he wasn’t tired at all.

You and I meet under cloudy skies
Holding hands until the last start
It’s fun when it’s just the two of us
I want to tell you today, thank you

Listening to the official fan song Luminous, I felt something indescribable.

I became a fan after listening to these hyungs on the radio, went to art school and became a fan, and was able to come to this first concert.

When will there be another moment when five people shine so brilliantly?

And when will I feel like people who shine so brightly are looking directly at me in the dark?

It’s strange that I’m so proud of the fact that I was involved in the process of five people growing up.

I’m going to draw fan art all night tonight. In particular, I wanted to capture the moment when Donghwa hyung shed tears as a picture.

“…It’s over now.”

The desire to vividly record the memories before they fade when I return home and the desire to have this time continue without ending overlapped, making me feel conflicted.

Ah, but I remember the scenes well. If it doesn’t work out, I can refer to the videos that will be uploaded on social media.

While his head was spinning in confusion, the members raised signs one by one and completed the phrase ‘Clear light in the darkness, a path to walk together.’

The last lyrics of the fan song.

The sight of the members singing in comfortable clothes and friendly smiles made me feel like we were really ‘walking together.’

And finally, the song faded, and the members went behind the rising stage wall and waved to us.

“…It’s really over.”

A feeling of relief, regret, coolness, and heat. Everyone experiences this mixed feeling every time a concert ends.

He smiled sadly and happily at the new experience.

When the wall was about to close slowly.

“Ah, it’s a shame.”

Ryu Iden raised the microphone to his mouth.

“Don’t you have a little more energy to play with?”

The door stopped, and the song that had been creating an atmosphere as if it would end vaguely gradually faded.

Wow, they’re doing it again.

“We promised at the beginning.”

“Let’s be free today.”

When the members opened their mouths one by one, Ji Donghwa suddenly walked out and shouted ‘Now, again, here, excitement,’ and the beat of ‘Excitement,’ which was arranged much more splendidly than the first stage, flowed out.

It’s a concert tradition to have encore songs that seem to signal the end, but he didn’t know that information at all, so he just covered his mouth and writhed in joy.

“…Wow, wow! I’m not going home!”

Would he have known, as he shouted excitedly?

That this encore would lead to a 20-minute frenzy party, and the concert would last for four hours.